


It's Okay That's Love

by KWriterInTraining



Category: South Park
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Based on a Korean Drama with the same name, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluffy Ending, M/M, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-14 12:09:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 42
Words: 130,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9180826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KWriterInTraining/pseuds/KWriterInTraining
Summary: After his parents' divorce, Stan Marsh has been living in Denver with his mom and sister, Shelly. He grew away from his life at South Park and began building a name for himself online as a singer. Since Freshman Year starts at Boulder, he gets an invite as a guest for the campus talk show and he could not believe who he saw again and how much they needed each other.





	1. Prologue: Old Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Fanfic and I hope you will enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it. This is a Style story based on a Korean drama of the same name and there will be changes from the original drama. Please check it out if you want to see the show yourself. There will be OCs in this one so be warned. I'll try to update this weekly but this is one long story so be patient and I hope you enjoy the ride and get some feedback.
> 
> Take care, loves.

"Happy birthday to you~!"

I'm smiling, everyone's gathered around me in the living room of my old house, singing for me and waiting for me to blow out the candles on my cake. 16, the big change, where girls become women and men can finally legally drive. All my friends are here, it kinda reminds me of my 10th birthday party. My girlfriend is beside me, my mom is taking pictures, it's been a while since I've seen her this happy too. I blow out the candles and everyone cheers, my girlfriend cups her hands over my face as she pulls me in for a kiss. I hear whistling and catcalls all around me as I wrap my arms around her waist. I even see _him_ out of the corner of my eye, _he's_ leaning on the frame of the front door, mouthing to me, "Happy birthday dude." This moment is perfect.

Then she comes running down the stairs, eyes seething at me.

No… Not today, please.

She's always been jealous of me since I was born. She's been jealous of the love and attention she claims I stole, she's been jealous that her birthday isn't as perfect as mine and she's jealous that her life isn't as perfect as mine, and she takes it out all on me. She charges through the crowd and jumps at me, knocking me down to the ground and wrapping her hands around my neck, squeezing them forcefully. I feel lightheaded as the air going into my lungs is getting cut off.

My friends are desperately pulling her off and I try to fight back, my left hand trying to attack her face while the right grabbing her wrist, my nails digging into her skin, trying to pry open her grip. She removes one of her hand and reaches for the knife for my birthday cake, she responds my futile attempts to escape by stabbing the knife into my shoulder, I scream in pain but that doesn't stop her attacks, I feel the knife being pulled out of me and that sharp pain of it entering my shoulder again and again. At this point I wonder which would kill me first, the lack of air or the blood loss.

Guess I won't find out. She finally gets pulled off me with the bloody knife falling beside me, screaming and kicking at everyone else in the room. My vision is fading, I can't tell if that's from the blood gushing out of my wound or the oxygen rushing into my lungs. Everything's spinning and I hear noises all around me. The last thing I see is _his_ face, _he's_ kneeling beside me and shaking me, shouting as loud as _he_ can to try and stop me from slipping into unconsciousness.

"Stan, stay with me! Don't you fucking dare go down on me! STAN!"

My eye snap open and I shoot up, I'm awake on my bed, covered in a layer of cold sweat with my girlfriend sound asleep next to me. I look around to see my apartment, the same one I've been living in for about 2 year now. I sink back down onto my pillow with my hands covering my face and I just groan in frustration. Damn it, it's been 1 year and a half and I still can't get away from that nightmare. I know that she's gone now, I know _he_ isn't here, so why won't it stop?!

Damn it, I need another whiskey.


	2. New yet Familiar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle arriving to Boulder with Kenny and Tweek

**Kyle's POV **

This is it, Boulder, Colorado. It's a long drive but it's worth it to finally be out of that red neck, white trash, weird hick of a mountain town. My name is Kyle Broflovski and I'm starting my first year at University of Colorado Boulder. It's no Yale or Oxford but it's the best I could compromise with my 'wonderful' bitch of a mom, I seriously hate to admit it but Cartman might be on to something about that one. Anyways, this is my first step outside of South Park, a chance at a new start. With my friends by my side, nothing can go wrong, right?

I arrive at the house I'm going to be living in for the next chapter of my life, it's a modern 4 bedroom house just outside of campus, and a 10 minute drive into town. I don't see any other cars, I guess I'm here first, Kenny and Tweek should be here soon. Yes, you heard me correctly, Kenny and Tweek. After 4th grade when everything when the world went to shit for _him_ , the group sorta fell apart. Tweek was brought in again to make a group of four after _he_ left South Park, but things just weren't the same.

After figuring out the secret ingredient to Cartman Burgers, Cartman and I were on opposite ends again, him ripping on me being a Jew and me calling him a fatass, but this time, I had no one to back me up, no one to call and partner up for weird adventures with, no one to calm me down and reassure me that Cartman was just being the big racist sadist he always was. It was… lonely. I never thought how things would be until after _he_ left.

After middle school, Cartman moved out of South Park too, leaving the 3 of us. Who woulda thought that he'd make it out of South Park before us? Who cares, nobody even liked him anyways and I think Park County High's cafeteria could provide for a lot of kids now. Anyways, after he left we decided 3 was fine and stuck together, we became close and it led to where I am now, now they're my housemates.

I get out of the car, put my trusty green ushanka onto my head and grab my bags from the back, I barely open the front gate before I sound screaming from inside, so much for being first. They're probably fighting over the bedrooms now. I open the door with the keys Kenny gave me before and I take a glance at our new home. I must say, impressive barely scratches the surface of how awesome the house is. Like the outside, it has a very modern style with fitting décor, it has a large L sofa and a huge TV in the living room, gotta be at least a 65' inch. The kitchen has counters with all kinds of groceries and a coffee machines surrounded by bags of coffee, must be Tweek's.

"Hey, guys! How's the set up coming along?" I walk in and call out to my still shouting friends, they must be on the second floor.

"Yo Broflovski! Took ya long enough! You wanna come up here and help me break in the bed?" Well at least I know Kenny's upstairs.

"Can it Kenny, and since when did you become Craig?" Craig was an old friend, I guess? From school. I don't know if he still considers us friends after that Peruvian flute band incident.

Kenny and Tweek start walking down the stair to me, Tweek still has his messy blond hair and his dark brown eyes reminds me of the coffee his family sells, but he dresses better now, at least he can wear his shirt properly now. He actually took up boxing again after his fight with Craig in the 3rd grade. So he grew out of his scrawny stage and he has a pretty solid build but even back then he at least looks like he's not gonna get blown away if the wind picks up. Stupid diabetics… He's also stopped spazzing as much and he's not as nervous around me and Kenny anymore.

Kenny, on the other hand, turned out to be a totally sex magnet, icy blue eyes, golden blond hair. Puberty has treated him well, he's grown taller than the both of us at 5'11", with me being the shortest of the 3, and a slightly muscular build due to the constant battles in his old home, survival of the fittest as he claims. After he ditched his iconic orange parka completely for a simple orange hoodie we got him for his 14th birthday, he's been attracting both girls and guys, especially after coming out about being a pansexual. I'll admit it was weird at first, actually seeing his whole face all the time, not to mention hearing his un-muffled voice.

Tweek walks up to me to let me know what they were screaming about, "Hey Kyle. I'm glad you're here now. Kenny wants to host a housewarming party and I said no because you know how I'm like around strangers and-"

"Wait! Housewarming party? You mean COLLEGE party! Damn it Kenny, can't you go one day without thinking about getting laid?" I shake my head in dismissal, really Kenny? First day at Boulder and you wanna get drunk with college girls?

"What?" He feigns innocence. "I just wanna make my mark here at Boulder. You know me, Kyle." He says, leaning closer to me with that famous smirk of his.

"I know you're a big pervert Kenny." I cross my arms. "And No! NO PARTIES! I'm not giving in on this. Not for the first month. I gotta get ready for my courses"

"Aww come on, our first day on our own and all you can think about is studying?" He whines.

"That's how I got in here the first place." I state matter-of-factly.

"No, that's for being valedictorian. Dr. Broflovski" He retorts.

I narrow my eyes, "Same thing. And don't call me that!"

"Guys! How about we just go out and explore the town a bit?" Tweek finally steps up and breaks a potentially pointless argument.

"Fine. If I can't get drunk at home, then we're gonna go find a bar. Let's go!" Kenny walks out the door, leading the pack. I just sigh in defeat and Tweek just shrugs as we follow him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the people willing to give it a try, if you do like it or have anything you wanna let me know, please do. I love feedback.
> 
> As always, I recommend the drama it's based on. It's pretty good for first timers.
> 
> Next chapter will be we'll be focusing on Stan's life.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	3. The Past Never Leaves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan introducing his Youtube career and his life with Wendy and Cartman

**Stan's POV **

"Thanks for the support, guys. This is Stan Marsh, tuning out."

Well, that's the last recording for today. I still have to edit this before I can upload it. My throat feels kinda raspy and my fingers hurt, that's the last time I try to record 4 songs in a day. I put down my guitar and head to the kitchen. This is the first time since breakfast I left my recording room. I start listening back to my recordings on my phone, and they're starting to sound like shit again. I sigh and gulp down a glass of whiskey. My cynicism has gotten better since I was 10, I'm kinda used to it by now but nothing solves the problem like a little Jack Daniel's, I used to need like half a bottle just to function through the day, now can I get by with 2 glasses a day.

4.30 p.m., I noted the time displayed on my phone. Wendy will be home soon. I just find it hard to believe it. After 5 years away from South Park, I still can't get away from my old life and I started dating my old on-again-off-again girlfriend, Wendy Testaburger. She moved to Denver just before we started high school and we just clicked back together. We still have our on-and-off again moments but we've been together throughout high school, it's hard to believe we've been together for almost 3 years now.

Things have certainly changed since I left South Park. After my parents divorced, my mom, Shelly and I moved to Denver and I lost touch with my hometown. South Park reminded mom too much of the memories they had there. It was weird for a while, having a normal life. No killer fish from my Aunt Flo, no egg to protect from assassination, no mythical being from another dimension. I'm just a normal teenager in a normal high school, just like everyone else. Then I realised it was great not having to worry about the next day whether or not I'd get wrapped up in some epic adventure I could probably die in, I devoted my time to school, the football team, my family and my music.

Man, did that work in my favour. Thanks to all that time actually used for productive stuff instead of stopping a town of idiots from killing themselves, my grades have gotten better, not enough to beat Wendy but good enough that I could apply to any college or university I want. Football gave me an immense change, giving me a nicely toned yet not overly muscular physique and an extra growth spurt, now at 18 I'm 6'0". My onyx hair still reminding me of when I went emo the first time, for some reason my bangs decided swoop to the left side of my face, slightly covering one of my sapphire blue eyes. Kinda reminds me of Pete, one of the Goth kids with the red highlights.

Shortly after I finished Middle school, I started a YouTube channel to put up my music, I guess some of dad's influences are still on me. After a while, I started getting support from people who listened to me, who liked what I had to play and sing, I actually just hit 1 million subscribers this year and that makes me more determined than ever. I then realised I could make money off of it too. I started saving up that money, hoping to get my own apartment before I graduated high school. I reached that goal and now I'm sharing a 2 bedroom apartment with my girlfriend.

"Ay! Someone here?!" I hear an annoying screechy voice along with the sound of someone banging my front door knocking me out of my train of thought. I know it is and he annoys the heck out of me. Begrudgingly, I walk to the door and open it for my dear 'friend' and manager.

"About time you came and opened the damn door." says the rude boy at the door. He walks into my living room and we take a seat on the brown sofa in the middle of the room

"What do you want, Cartman? I finished my recordings and I don't have any gigs today." I say to him in an annoyed tune. Yup, Wendy wasn't the only one who moved out of South Park. The infamous Eric Cartman was also moved to Denver and attended at my high school. You'd think over half a decade apart and there'd be something different but nope, he hadn't changed a bit, still obnoxious, still racist and still the biggest fatass I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.

"Why, Stan? I'm hurt, can't I just come over to see my best friend?" he places his hand over the lump of meat where his heart should be and says in that oh-so-familiar fake voice of his. I really hate him sometimes.

"Ok. First, you are NOT my best friend." I scoff at him. "Second, you must have lost your brain in that gigantic fat bank of an ass if you think I'd believe for a second that you're just here because you 'care about' me. You and I both know that I let you be my manager because you have connections and you just want your share of the cut, so don't even try with the buddy act." I'll be honest, I lost it a bit when he even insinuates that he's my best friend. He's just my manager, even if he DID help me get my channel bigger than I could imagine in 3 years. He helped me get gigs through town, whether those methods are legal or not, is not my place to question.

"Geez, the best friend thing is still a touchy subject?! It's been years and you haven't even heard a word from that Jew rat." He rolls his eyes at me and props his double chin up with his hand.

"Do. Not. Talk. About. _Him_. Like that." I practically stand up and growl at him at this point. I don't talk about _him_ anymore and I hate it when someone brings _him_ up or in Cartman's case, insults _him_ like _he's_ here to bite back. So what if _he_ abandoned me because of my cynicism? So what if I haven't heard from _him_ in 8 years? So what if I couldn't find another best friend after _him_?!

Ok, I sound pretty pathetic right now but I'm not gonna let Cartman insult someone who isn't here to defend himself.

"Fine, whatever." He drops the subject completely now, I guess that's the one good thing about him being my manager. He keeps trying to stay on my good side so that our partnership stays in tact because as time goes by and now that I've found my footing, he needs me a lot more than I need him.

"What are you actually here for? I have to get ready for Boulder. Classes start next week if you forgot." I sit back down, now that I've regain my cool.

"Actually that's what I'm here for, I understand that both you AND that ho will be attending there?" I sigh, even after all these years, he still calls Wendy that. I don't even know why I'm still letting him in my house.

"Yeah, so?" I answer him in a disinterested tone.

"And I understand you'll both be commuting to the campus from here?"

"Uh, yeah. It's our home, we still pay rent for it and it saves time and money looking for another place." That's the truth though, the idea of property hunting again for a place we're only going to be living in for 3 years annoys the crap out of me and it only takes about 40 minutes between Denver and Boulder anyways. It just makes our lives easier.

"Well I'm going to Boulder too so I want a seat in the back."

"Wait, what?! You're going to Boulder too?" I'm honestly surprised, the fatass was just as bad in high school as he was when he was in South Park Elementary. How in the hell did he get into Boulder?!

"Why the fuck not? I applied and they accepted me." He says it so nonchalantly and I'm just standing there in shock.

"How did you…? Never mind." I shake my hands in front of him, I suddenly don't want to know what he could have done to get accepted. I don't know if you've noticed but Cartman is pretty fucked up. I mean he grounded some dude's parents into chill, just because the guy was a dick to him. "Why don't you just use your own car?"

"Why waste gas when I can just go with you guys?"

"And you call _him_ the thrifty Jew?" I know I hate bringing _him_ up but it just came out of my mouth so naturally.

"And weren't you the one who told me to shut up about Kahl?" Can't say I didn't see that respond coming but he didn't have to say _his_ name, why the fuck did he have to say _his_ name?!

"Fine, you want a ride, you've got it. Now get out." I growl at him again, he gets the hint and walks out of the apartment. I feel that hurt again, just like when _he_ abandoned me when we were 10. I hate that _he_ makes me feel like such a worthless piece of shit. 6.00 p.m., Wendy isn't home yet. Fuck this, I'm going out for a drive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we know how Stan's life has been after the divorce, along with some other old friends. Next time it's back to Kyle's.
> 
> As always, feel free to check out the Korean drama this story is based, It's Okay That's Love by SBS.
> 
> I hope this is interesting so far, this is my first story and I'm open to any constructive comments you have.
> 
> Take care, loves.


	4. Problems and Progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle’s gang going out to town and talk about their new lives

**Kyle's POV**

The three of us pile into my car as we drive into town, with Kenny riding shotgun and Tweek in the back with some leftover boxes I haven't moved yet.

"How did you guys get here anyways? I didn't see a car and I thought Tweek's parents were too busy." I ask them curiously, I forgot all about that and it just kinda came back into mind.

Kenny just smirks, "Funny you should mention that." He turns to Tweek "Tweek buddy, do you wanna fill our dear friend Kyle here in?"

He nods excitedly before bursting out, "My parents finally let me have one of their cars, it's mine now!" Given 8 years ago, he'd be shaking and pulling his hair out, shouting about how it's too much pressure. He's made quite a change and I can't help but be proud of him.

"That's great Tweek, where is it?"

"Umm… See, we went to go shopping a while before you got here and when we went to get the car, it was clamped. Apparently the place _KENNY_ told me to park at was a no parking zone so we have to talk to security and OH GOD…" He starts panicking again, I try to comfort him without keeping my eyes off the road.

Kenny then finishes the story for him, basically Tweek got freaked out because the guy was bigger than him and when they finally got the clamp off his car, Kenny scared him when he was unlocking the car and the key snapped inside the keyhole. So they took a cab back to the house. I just take it in and shake my head, Tweek is calm around us but he still fidgets around other people or when he gets nervous, I guess its part of his social anxiety, poor Tweek. Hopefully one day I could make things better for him.

We drive around and it is definitely a different scene from that redneck little mountain town we grew up in, even with all the PC stuff and the development done. We stop by the first bar we see, it kinda reminds me of Skeeter's back at South Park, only much cleaner. Kenny walks over to the bartender with some fake IDs and orders our usuals, Scotch for him, Rum and Cola for me and Irish coffee for Tweek. It took us a while to find something he likes but we should have figured. We start talking about our new lives here, our classes and about the house.

"Seriously, Kenny? Where the fuck did you get such a sweet deal for that place?" I just have to know where he gets this info, I checked around the neighbourhood and no house within 5 blocks comes close to the rent we pay for that pad. We really lucked out bringing Kenny along with us.

"I know people, Kyle. That's what happens when you get around from party to party." He empties his glass and says mischievously to me.

"You mean when you sleep around from party to party." I roll my eyes at him, I won't lie, I'm his friend and all but his track record isn't something I'd bring up even if he proudly owns it like a medal. Kenny has a reputation of being a whore and that incident in 3rd grade didn't help his case, but we were just kids, kids do stupid shit all the time, I digress. He had this reputation since high school after a fling with 3 girls in one night at Heidi Turner's 16th birthday party and he's been living up to it ever since.

"Not something I'm denying. You know, Kyle, I can always hook you up with a nice guy." He sounds proud but then asks me with a clear tone of caution in his voice.

"Kenny, why'd you bring this up?!" I'm surprised he's bringing this up. We don't normally talk about this.

He hesitates, like he's trying to find the right words. "Look dude, I know I shouldn't rush you or whatever but you haven't dated anyone since 6th grade, the last time you kissed someone was junior year in high school. Tweek has been making more progress than you have."

"Kenny you know why, you know how I am with dating."

"Kyle, K-Kenny's right. You've helped m-me with my problems. You should focus on yours too. Try and face it head on like you always tell me." Tweek adds. I have been encouraging him to try and be more social while Kenny and I are there to help him but my case is different.

"Kyle, bud. Don't you want to know what you're missing?" Kenny asks

"I know, guys, I know." I sigh, I don't want to talk about this anymore. "But I just… I need to pace myself and maybe find someone then."

They let the topic drop, thankfully. Kenny downs his drink and gets up"I'm going for another round, who wants?"

"I'm done, I'm driving." Better play it safe, 2 rum and cokes is enough for one night. I definitely don't want a DUI on my first night here. "You better watch it too, don't you have work tomorrow?"

"Don't worry, Kylie~ I know what I'm doing." Kenny winks at me and I just roll my eyes again. "Tweek?" He turns to our caffeine addicted friend to found him staring outside the window, his shock face turns pale, whatever he's looking at is scaring him big time. I look out to search for what he's looking at and I'm pretty sure I just mirrored his expression. Down the street is an apartment complex, about 10 stories high and on the top is a figure sitting on the edge. I think I might be about to witness a suicide.

We throw some money onto the table and dash out to the building as fast as we can. As I run, a possibility pops into my mind, what if this person is just sitting there and not about to jump to definite death. We arrive at the foot of the building, I ask Kenny and Tweek to stay right outside and to be call the police if our suspicions do turn out being the darker of the two. I manage to sneak pass the guard and get onto the elevator, luckily this apartment isn't one of those fancy ones where you need a key card to activate it. I click the button indicating the highest floor and pray that I'm not too late. I find the door that leads to the rooftop and I start to think of a game plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small cliffhanger there. Who's the figure on the buliding? Next time, we'll still be following Kyle as he figures out.
> 
> Anyways. As always, feel free to check out the drama this story was based on, Its Okay That's Love from SBS
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	5. The Figure on the Edge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle stops a person who’s attempting suicide

**Kyle's POV **

Ok, Kyle. You go up there and if that person wants to jump, what should you do? My first idea is to call Kenny but then the idea just hit me, I call up Tweek just because approaching the door.

"Kyle? What's going on? Is that person Ok?" I hear Tweek's shaking voice from the receiver.

"I don't know yet Tweek, I haven't made it to him. Put me on speaker, I need to talk to you and Kenny" He does just that and soon I hear Kenny's voice too. "Ok guys, I don't think this guy would take it well if he find out I'm calling help so I'm gonna leave the call up until I know it's safe. Be quiet and if I tap the phone or if you hear anything that sounds off, get calling, Kenny."

I put my phone into my pocket as I walk up and open the door slightly. The person seems to notice me despite my attempt at stealth, he shoot up and look me in the eye. Seeing as my attempt has failed, I walk out somewhat casually and greet him.

"Hey there." I walk up to the mysterious figure cautiously, he seem to twitch a bit as I seem to have gotten to closer to their liking. But I've gotten close enough to take a look at the figure. She's a girl, doesn't seem any older than I am, she has black shoulder length hair, quite feminine features and bright chocolate eyes, they would have beautiful if they aren't puffy and bloodshot, the tears and the lifeless look in her eyes make me increasing worried for her.

The silent is bone chilling, she haven't said a word. I'm contemplating whether or not to just tap at the phone now, just to be safe. My train of thought derails when I see her mouth open and hear her voice.

"What are you doing here?" She says in a monotonous tone.

I think about it for a while and decide that it's best to be honest with her. "I saw you up here and I…"

"Try your pickup lines at the bar, they might work better" She says in spite.

What? That's a new one. I stand there, a bit caught off guard by her remark but I quickly regain my composure and try a different strategy.

"I've got school on my mind, I've got better things to worry about than flirting. How about you? What are you doing here?" I say calmly, hopefully it would be easier to get a confession of her motives.

"No one was supposed to be here, this was supposed to be my night. But I guess I can't have that either, huh?" She sighs as she turns to look at me. "I guess it wouldn't matter, this is supposed to be where I say good bye."

"That's tragic, we've only just met." I say with a faint smile. I can't get this girl go through with this. Hopefully Kenny picked up on what she said, that's his part. This now is mine.

She stares like me like I'm some anomaly. "Stop." She turns away from me, facing forward now. "I see what's you're doing. You don't have to act. You have no obligation to help me." It's true. I don't know her, but Moses be damned if I'm gonna let someone die on my watch.

"Maybe, but I'm here now and I want to help. Do you want to talk?" She doesn't move, it seems like she's not even acknowledging me now.

I continue. "Ok then… You wanna listen? I've got a few things to get off my chest if you care to listen?"

"Why should I care? It's not like anyone's given me that privilege before." She sounds really mad now, but at least she's talking to me again. I have to be careful now.

"Well, someone's gotta care about a girl like you, I mean you are really pretty. I won't be surprised if you've got someone ready to hit me for saying that." She stares at me in disbelief but then starts laughing hysterically. Something's wrong, I think I made a misstep.

"HA! I'm sure my dad will be glad that someone told his fucking fag of a son that he was pretty!" She screaming at me and her hands on the railing seem to be loosening a little. "My boyfriend kicked me out, my friends are disgusted by me, my family? They're the reason I NEED makeup in the morning!" I start panicking as this girl keeps screaming. This is bad, really, really bad. Where is the fucking cavalry, Kenny?

She must have taken my shocked silence the wrong way because she just turns to me and says, "Well? Feels weird knowing the pretty damsel in distress you were trying to save is not only a fag but a transgender, huh? I'm not surprised, my dad's right. I deserve this, I'm a goddamn disgrace."

"Well…no. I'm shocked but I don't really feel any different about it. It'd be pretty hypocritical of me to be homophobic, seeing how I swing that way too. You're just someone who needs the right support, not some freak of nature." She just sniggers and shakes her head in denial, she's probably wondering why I'm so accepting of this.

"You know, you remind me of my old teacher." I say to her. She stops what she was doing and looks at me again. "His name is Mr Garrison and he was a transgender like you. He's a real piece of work, probably one of the worst teachers I've ever had." I chuckle a bit at the memory of my crazy teacher.

"What do you mean 'he was a transgender'?" She asks me with her monotonic voice. It seems to be keeping her mind of the ledge, this is good.

"He's gay, that was obvious, even when he was teaching us in 3rd grade he was basically flaming, but he was so defensive of it that he could practically drown himself in the amount of denial he was in. After coming out of that metal bunker he called a closet, he decided that he was a girl and underwent a sex change operation. So for a while in 4th grade, we had to call him Mrs Garrison." She looks at me with a bit of shock in her eyes. "Obviously, at the end he decided that he wanted to be a man again but due to some accidents when the sex change, they couldn't give him his old penis back. So he spent like thousands on getting his penis cloned onto a mouse and the doctors finally changed him back." I look at her and I almost want to laugh at the shocked expression on her face, her eyes are wider than diner plates and her jaw gasp open.

"For as crazy as he was then, I learnt something that day, things won't go as planned, hell sometimes it'd feel like the world's turned against you, but if you don't like something, you can either whine and bitch about it or grow some balls and do everything you can to change it. I mean, the guy literally ran throughout South Park just to get his penis back." I finish my speech and I see something in her eyes, hesitation. She's contemplating, this is my chance.

"South Park, huh? No wonder why…" I smirk at her response. South Park is a pretty infamous town especially after all those celebrities tried to sue the town. I'm still surprised we've survived all those adventures, but now I don't like thinking of that town. It reminds to me too much about my childhood there, most of them with _him_. I can't think about that now, my issues are not the focus now.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's only one town more fucked up than ours and that's in Oregon I think." She's smiling at me now. I think that's the first genuine expression I've gotten out of her. I think she's gonna be alright now. "You ready to come down now? We can talk more once you're not 2 steps away from a drop" I decide to make the first move. She still seems hesitant, I walk towards her and reach my hand out to her.

Suddenly a series of loud stomps come from behind me and the door slam wide open. It startles her and she starts to fall back. "NO!" I shout as I grab her hand tight, stopping her drop. I feel her other hand grasp on mine as she tries to pull herself up, she wants to live now and I won't let her go. I start pulling too, trying her bring her back up but I'm not strong enough on my own.

In a flash I get help by whoever it slammed through the door, it's Kenny. "Kenny?! What are you doing here? Where's Tweek?" I ask him as I gasp for air, pulling her up is taking a lot more strength than I thought it would. "He's down there with the cops. I thought you might need help." He grunts as he tries to pull her up, her other hand that was on me now is in Kenny's hands.

She's pulling herself up as best she can, but I can start feeling her grip loosen. We have to hurry. I said to them, "All right, on three! 1…2…3!" We give it our best and with all full total strength, we pull her up and over, but somehow Kenny gets pulled over the railing as she gets thrown over to our side. I run over just in time to see Kenny fall and splat on the ground like someone stepped on him.

I hear Tweek shout from the ground, "OH MY GOD! T-They killed Kenny!"

I instinctively yell, "YOU BASTARDS!" I hear her chuckle from behind me. "You say it like it happens every day." She says to me and I laugh at that remark, I guess some old habits do die hard (Pun intended).

"It used to, but now he's been doing better." I respond.

Poor Kenny, that's his first death in Boulder and he didn't even get laid yet, he'll be back though. He convinced us a while back that he is apparently immortal, I have my doubts still since we can never really remember his deaths and even he doesn't know how it works, it just does. He takes full advantage of it by shooting himself whenever he's diagnosed with an STD, he says it saves money but he doesn't realise how hard it is to clean bloodstain of the carpets, so we make him do it outside.

The look on her face is telling me she can't tell whether or not I'm joking and I don't blame her, it took us years to even take him seriously about that. I hear a siren from below and I see an ambulance and a bunch of people, must have been the ones Kenny called, took them long enough…

"Come on, let's get down from here." I say, we start walking back down to the first floor in silence. It's a peaceful kind as I see the look of despair now changed into a look of thought. She must have a lot on her mind right now, especially after Kenny's trip and drop. I suddenly remember that my phone is still on call, I dig the phone out of my pocket and hit the 'End Call' button before I step into the elevator. She notices me and looks at me confused. "Safety precaution, I didn't know if you'd take it well if you saw me dial 911 so I had a friend on standby to call for me." I explain to her and she just smiles slightly as we get off the elevator.

"Charlie." I hear her say behind me, now it's my turn to her to look with confusion.

"Well… It's Charlotte, but Charlie can be a girl name too, right?" She says with a grin, I smile and reach my hand out to her a second time. "Nice to meet you, Charlie. Name's Kyle"

She grabs my hand and pulls me into a hug. It takes me a moment to realize what happen and I hug back. "Thank you." I hear her muffled thanks as she releases me. We walk through the doors of the building to find a crowd has gathered along with some reporters.

These bastards are like vultures, aren't they? If Charlie had gone through with it, they'd probably write her off as some depressed teenager who's 'too weak to handle the real world', makes me sick just thinking about it. The paramedics come forward as we explain what happened to them, they take her away but under Charlie's request, they tell me the name of the hospital she's going to. Maybe I'll go visit her when I can.

The crowds soon dissipate after Charlie left on the ambulance and I spot Tweek on the other side on the street. The crowd must have scared him into retreating. "Hey, ready to head back?" He looks me and sees me, his face changed from one of concerned to relief.

"Geez, K-Kyle. Y-you have gone for so long… a-and with all those people around. I'm guessing that person is o-ok, now?" He still seems a little shaken up. I'm not surprised, with all those people around, he probably didn't know what happened.

"Yup, she's alright and on her way to the hospital." I smile contently, it feels good knowing that I helped someone tonight. "Come on, Tweek. Let's go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the first introduction to my first OC in the story, Charlie Baxton. I hope you guys like her, there will be a few more on the way too.
> 
> As always, feel free to check out the drama this story was based on, Its Okay That's Love from SBS
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	6. The Re-encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan spends the day with her mother and hears about his sister, he then gets invited to a show that Kyle was also guesting in

**Stan's POV**

"Radio show?" I say into my phone. Cartman is calling me, talking about some opportunity the school's giving me.

"Apparently the campus has its own radio station, the rich bastards… Anyways since their star DJ's graduating this semester. Who'd really better to host the show than you?" I just roll my eyes even though I know he can't see it, his flattery is really desperate. I know why he's doing it, a spot on air would definitely boost my popularity throughout campus and it would look great when I start my career. I don't see any harm in it, who knows? It might be fun.

"Why'd they tell you though? Wouldn't it have been easier if they just called me and asked me straight up?"

"Well I _AM_ your manager" He says loudly, it's like he's staking his claim. "They brought it up to me when they called me to ask if you wanted to come on the show."

"Come on the show? As like a guest?" I say surprisingly at him.

"Yeah, that's why they called me in the first place, to invite you on." He states matter-of-factly.

"And you didn't think of telling me this first because?"

"Because one issue is more important than the other and I don't have to tell you which one it is."

"Fine, I do it. When's the show?"

"Next Saturday, and your first session for your show starts on the third week. They're nice enough to give you an extra week to 'enjoy your new college life'"

"Sure, I've gotta go now. I'm at my mom's place."

"You're visiting her? Why didn't you call me?"

"I tried but your phone was silent yesterday, next time I'll drag you along. I'll tell her you said hi." I hang up and sigh. It's true that Cartman is an unholy son of a bitch, but if he is one thing, that's a mama's boy. When his mom left for Los Angeles last year, he didn't show it much, but he was hurt and blamed his mom and that man for what he called his weakness. Since Cartman is one of my 'friends', mom stepped in and offered to help him through this. It is sad to say that in that retrospect, Cartman is like family to me, even if I hate his guts, he still cares for my mom like his own.

"Was that Eric, Stan?" Mom asks as she walks out the kitchen.

"Yeah, mom. He told me that the campus radio station wants me to join them." I move over to the couch and sit next to her.

"That's great, Stanley. I've never seen you happier since you found your music. I'm so proud of you. So how was your first week at Boulder?"

"The usual, mom. Orientations, first classes, projects and assignments all handed out on a little list."

"Will you be able to handle a bi-weekly radio show too? I mean you already have your music, your girlfriend and your schoolwork."

"I'll be fine mom, and I will still come visit you every Friday."

"Have you been to see Shelly lately?"

I flinch as soon as I hear her name. I hate that she left that scar on me, I hate that she still has a grip on me, even when she's not here. "No, mom."

She sighs, probably knows what she said must have triggered some bad memories. "I know what she did is wrong and I don't blame you if you never forgive her. But she is still your sister, I hope that we can at least talk to her again, all of us." Yup, she does. They always say mom knows best, but this time I honestly doubt that.

"I'll think about it." A white lie. I know that I'll never consider staying in the same room as that monster. She blames me for everything, her words still burned into my ears.

_You don't deserve to be fucking happy!_

Maybe I don't, maybe I still see the world as shit sometimes but that doesn't mean she has to take it out on me.

"Ok then, I've asked a psychiatrist to help Shelly with her issues, with what she did and being in jail, I hope it would resolve whatever caused her behaviour." She sighs and looks up at the clock, "I have a bookclub meeting at the library in half an hour. Thanks for coming and visiting me, Stan. Next time bring Eric and Wendy too, it's been a long time since I've seen her."

"I'll try, mom. You know how much of an overachiever she can be." I give her a hug before I walk to the driveway and start my drive back to my apartment.

* * *

When Cartman told me about the radio show, I assume that what I'm guesting in is also a radio show but I soon realise I am horribly wrong. The show I'm appearing in is a video podcast run by the students. This leads me to where I am now, standing outside the communications building with my trusty guitar on my back.

"Hello, Stanley Marsh, is it?" I turn to see a girl in her early 20s standing in front of me, wearing a formal jacket over a red shirt with jeans, her hair dyed blue tied into a high ponytail with a few piercing on her left ear.

This isn't me being racist or anything, but the one thing I noticed quite quickly is she seems Asian, her high cheek bones and her facial features. I wouldn't think she's mixed if not for her big sliver grey eyes and her fair skin tone.

"I'm Sue Andrews. Thank you so much for doing this. I'm sure you're gonna love it here." Says the girl as she gives me a firm handshake.

"Thanks, Sue and it's Stan. I brought my guitar in case you want me to play something live."

"That's awesome, but it depends on Jake and I think he's more into talking that singing." She laughs. She gestures me into the building, leading me through the building. We talk to each other as she talks more about the production and herself.

Sue's a pretty amazing girl, at the age of 21, she's not only the assistant manager of the programs in the building but also the director of BC live, the name of their podcast.

She brings me to a waiting room / dressing room and I raise an eyebrow at her. "Just because it's just a podcast doesn't mean we treat it any less as a proper TV talk show. So you still need to get ready." She explains.

To be honest, I'm a little caught off guard, I didn't expect such professionalism from an online podcast show but clearly, they're proving me otherwise.

Suddenly, I hear a ring tone go off. I check my phone to see that it's not mine. "Sorry, it's mine." Sue picks up her phone and starts talking to whoever's on the other end. I sit down on one of the chair and start tuning my guitar.

"Sorry, Stan but our other guest is here. I've gotta go. Kate's doing your makeup and she should be here any minute now." Other guest? There's someone else but me? "Ok then, see ya Sue." I don't want to see nosy now. I'll be able to meet him once he gets here anyways.

Sure enough, like 10 seconds after Sue leaves another girl steps into the room with a small makeup kit in hand, shoulder length brown hair and a pair of eyes brimming with innocence.

"You must be Kate, then?" I ask her, knowing full well the answer. "Yup, that's me. Sue must've told you I was coming." She says in a sweet childlike voice. She definitely sounds younger than she looks, she looks like a college student but her voice reminds me of someone in middle school.

"Yeah Sue told me, so what do you need me to do to make your magic?" She giggles at my remark. Ok, she doesn't just sound like one, she acts like one too. "Just sit down at the dressing table and relax."

I do as she says and she starts taking out stuff from her makeup kit. I catch her stealing a few glances at me. "You know it's not nice to stare." I joke and her face reddens. I guess she didn't think I'd catch her. "Sorry, I'm just such a fan of your songs." I smile and nod, I should have known that she's a fan. I feel kinda bad for putting her in this position now.

"Nah, it's cool. Thanks for the support." I say and give her a smile, Cartman says that I should act more like the Jonas Brothers when they were still a thing before we indirectly ruined their careers as a boy band, it's a long story. But I don't really like that. I don't mind acting a little flirty but acting like I'm above them? Fuck that, I'd rather act like the boy next door or something gay like that.

She obviously seems more relaxed after that and her mouth forms a wide grin on her face. She talks about my songs and about Boulder as she applies some foundation on my face. Hey, when you have a girlfriend who constantly wants you to do her makeup for her, you learn a few things. Kate also works as a bartender at a local club, one I've never heard of but it's apparently the hottest place for students to go to, or sneak into most of the times. "You should definitely drop by, come see me at the bar and I'll give you a free drink."

"Kate, is he done? We go on in 5 minutes!" I say Sue's voice as her head appears through the doorway.

"Yeah, he's done. Where's the other one?"

"No time, he'll just go on without it. Stan, come with me. We have to get to the set NOW!"

Well, now I know what Sue sounds like under pressure and I do not want to see what would happen if she blows up. I jump off the seat and follow Sue down the hallway to a door with a sign with the words ON AIR on it. What I see after entering the room makes me freeze on the point. There are 2 figures who are looking at me, one with spiky brown hair dressed in a casual suit, and the another one with green eyes and fiery red curls hidden under a lime green ushanka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The couple meet again at last, also please welcome OC #2, Sue Andrews.
> 
> Next week, we'll be following Stan along with his awkward reintroduction. Please let me know what you think so far and what you think of Charlie and Sue.
> 
> As always, if you like this story you can check out the show it's based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	7. The Interview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan gets interviewed about his career while learning more about how Kyle has changed since he left.

**Stan's POV**

"Everyone on standby! Jake, you two, get on stage."

I think that's Sue giving orders but I can't tell, I'm too in shock. This is the first time in 8 years since I've seen him and he's hardly changed, well that's not true. He's taller than he was when he was 10, back then we were about the same height but now he's shorter than me by about 3 inches.

His tight curls seem to have died down with a few stray strands sticking out of the front of his hat, turning his old Jewfro into a calmer style with his locks covering his head resembling some loosely twirled ribbons.

Other than that, he's still the same kid I remember him to be, pasty white skin free of any freckles that makes him a true ginger as Cartman calls it, slender but with a bit of muscle, big bright emerald eyes that expresses his every emotion, which right now is pure shock.

I snap out of it and walk to the stage with him following closely behind me, his fingers messing around the zipper of his orange hunter jacket. He must be more nervous than I am. We each sit down on one of the armchairs in the middle of the stage with Jake sitting on one on the opposite side, facing the both of us at an angle.

"Hey, Stan…" He says to me, head hanging low and eyes on his converse sneakers.

"Hey, Kyle." I greet back.

Fuck, this is awkward.

Thankfully that stops when I hear Sue, yelling, "OK. People, look alive. We go on in 3-"

Why didn't Sue tell me?

"-2-"

Why didn't she tell me the other guest's my once super best friend?

"-1!"

I put on my best smile and calm myself down from that shock.

"Good afternoon, Colorado. Welcome to BC Live. My name is Jake Winters and I will be your host. Today we have 2 inspiring people here with us, one is known for the inspiration he gives to his fans through his music, and the other is known recently by inspiring us with his actions. Please welcome, Stanley Marsh and Kyle Broflovski"

I give a smile and nod at the camera while Kyle gives a shy awkward wave.

"Thanks for joining us today, guys. Stan, I've heard that from your manager that you'll be joining us on 1160 FM." Kyle looks at me with a shocked expression. I guess he didn't hear about it, seeing how either of us know that the other's gonna be here today, it's not surprising.

I reply with a more cheerful tone, "Yeah, he brought it up to me and I think it's an awesome opportunity to work with you guys. I'm looking forward to my first session."

"I'm sure the students and people of Boulder will be dying to hear your voice on air, seeing what a success you are online. What made you want to pursue music?"

"I'd hardly call myself a success," I chuckle. "I'm just a dorky music lover. As for why I did it, I was lost for a while. I went through a ton of life changes in one go at it really took a toll on me. Music helped me through it, and I soon found my voice in it, I'm lucky that people love what I have to say and their love for my work motivates me to try and be better."

"Well, your fans think you're a motivation to them too. How does it feel to be able to inspire so many people?"

"It… was weird at first. I was just a kid with a computer and too much free time on his hands and one day I see in the comments about people who like my work, who said I made their day better, who said thank you for basically doing something I myself wanted to do. It felt great to know that I did something good."

"Like I said, a lot of people here really like your work and I think I speak for all of them when I say I can't wait to see what you come up with next. Maybe you can play a little something for us at the end?"

"I'd love to. Brought my guitar for a reason." I grab my guitar at the side of my seat to show.

"Kyle." He shoots right up as Jake says his name. His nerves are so shot he's so nervous, I'm surprised he is still functioning as he is. "I've heard of you, a freshman from a small mountain town called South Park, 2000 for the SATs and graduated as valedictorian for Park County High. How are you finding Boulder?"

"Well, umm it's been a weird few weeks. It's a lot different from the chilly mountains of South Park but I'm taking baby steps now."

"Mind talking about your hometown a bit? I mean everyone knows the name but…" Jake asks.

Home, I sometimes forget that South Park is my hometown too, I haven't been back there in years.

Mom's been in a pretty weird space since the divorce and she doesn't want to go back there, too many memories. I've been by her side through all this and I just felt that mom needed me more than South Park did at the time.

"It's kinda hard not to know about it with all the fuc-"A glare from Sue at him seems to remind him that he's on a live network and that he should watch his language so he quickly shifts his words, "-messed up stuff we go through. I can't imagine how South Park is still standing right now. I mean just earlier this year, the Japanese released this chinpokemon mobile game that everyone got addicted to, we decided to hack the game and it turned out that all the chinpokemon were made to make us into little guinea pigs for the Japanese. Each one we captured was to brainwash and control us, using them as markers and making us fight in an international cyber war. And that was before the Dutch started an all-out troll hunt with their website."

"Ah yes, the lives that were lost in Ford Collins that day…"

"Yeah, I'm out here to try and get away from all the madness but as messed up as it is, it's still home and I do miss it sometimes."

"Well I hope you'll see Boulder as a new home soon. You're already pretty well known at campus, people have been calling you a hero after what happened 2 weeks ago. Saving a person's life like that is something extraordinary."

"I'm no hero, Jake. I'm just a guy who happened to be there at the right moment and said some things to change her mind. A hero would have stopped her from even thinking that her life was that meaningless."

So that's why Kyle's here. I heard about some girl who tried to kill herself that day and someone talked her out of it, I just didn't know that someone is Kyle.

"Are you ok to talk about the incident?"

"I mean that's why I'm here right? You guys just want the inside scoop." I feel my eyes widen and my jaw drop. Did he seriously just say that out loud? Live? With possible hundreds and thousands of people watching?

"I guess. I figured it'd be brought up so I told to Charlotte about it, she's ok with me sharing her story, hoping that it would help whoever might be listening that is tempted by what she almost achieved."

Jake is obviously a bit caught off guard by Kyle's first remark but soon he clears his throat and regains his composure. He's actually pretty professional, in fact all of them are. "And how is Charlotte doing now?"

Kyle sighs, "You sure you're ready to hear her whole story? I'm not gonna spare much details just like how she was with me." Jake looks at Sue who gives her a nod of approval.

"Go ahead, Kyle." He takes a deep breath but I notice that he's still shaking a little, he's scared and nervous. I guess being apart for so long doesn't change the fact that I know every sign to how he's feeling.

"I went to see her a few days after the incident, I gave the hospital a call and they told me I could come and visit her now…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time, we follow Kyle as he visits Charlie for the first time after the incident.
> 
> I want to state here that everything that happens to South Park up to this date has happened in this universe, just that Stan was not participating in any of the events that happen after the event of Ass Burgers since he was in Denver. Not that they did much this season, I mean seriously. Mr Garisson and the stupid berries have more screentime than the 4 main kids of the series. What the fuck, Parker and Stone?
> 
> As always, if you like this story, feel free to check out the drama it's based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	8. Press Live to Continue?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle’s flashback to his first visit to see Charlie in the hospital.

**Kyle's POV**

Room 270…Room 271…

Here it is, room 272. This is Charlie's room. I walk in and see her on her bed. The room has 3 other patients with her at the right corner, next to the window. She perks up as she hears me footsteps. Her face brightens up tremendously, she must be really happy to see me.

"Hey Charlie, how have you been doing?"

"I've been better. The doctors say I can start seeing visitors now that I have been properly 'evaluated'." She says with air quotes. "Which basically means just asking me pointless crap. Are you OK? How are you feeling? Do you wanna talk about it? Urgh…" She throws her head back into her pillow in annoyance, but then again I would too if I was kept in a psychiatric ward.

"So I'm your first visitor?" I try to lighten up the mood.

"Well no one else gives a shit enough to come. Honestly, I'm just glad to talk to someone who isn't trying to feed me meds."

I take a seat onto the plastic chair next to her bed and start talking to her more. This is the first time we actually talk after the incident and I get to know her a bit more. She's 2 years younger than me, a junior at a local high school. She probably would have been another student in the background if it wasn't for her gender identity and some bigoted assholes from her school, I guess there's always gotta be one in every school.

"Well, there's always douchebags ripping on us for things we can't change. Sometimes you've just take it and stride." I tell her, "You would not believe how much shit I went through just because I'm Jewish."

"Do tell." She is now intrigued, she really seems interested when I talk about my life in South Park. Why anyone would be this interested in some crazy white trash mountain town is beyond me.

"Well, since my family's the only Jewish family in town that excludes me from any Christian holidays, which includes Easter, and worst of all, Christmas. My mom tried to ban all the Christmas stuff once, I heard it was once of the worst Christmases they've ever spent, but I wouldn't know, that Christmas I ended up spending some alone time in a mental ward, tied up in a strait jacket for believing in Mr. Hanky, the Christmas poo. Which is totally real by the way." I say with a bit more force at the end than I intended.

She laughs and puts a hand on my shoulder, "Calm down, man. I believe you. I mean, it's South Park. A living piece of shit wouldn't be too unbelievable." I honestly can't tell if she's being sincere or sarcastic.

"Anyways…" I continue. "…I also had this kinda 'friend?' named Eric Cartman. He was the biggest, most manipulative, racist fuck I've ever met. Trust me, the number of times he's tried to kill me are unbelievable and he even tried to exterminate all the Jews once."

"Jesus, what is he?! Some sick reincarnation of Hilter?" She says in shock and eyes widen in horror.

"He'd probably take that as a compliment." I roll my eyes at the memory of my horrible 'friend'.

"Then why did you hang out with him?" She brings up a common question, one I could never find a good answer to.

"I don't know, we grew up together so I guess we were kinda stuck together. Life was definitely easier after he moved but there will always be some other asshole ready to take his place."

"I wish I could make things easier for me, too bad it'd take more than just some sad fuck moving and leaving me alone. I keep wondering if it was a mistake, to set myself free. If this part of me had just stayed hidden, then maybe things wouldn't be so fucked up right now. My family would still love me, I'd still be accepted by my peers…"

"But would you have been happy?" I ask her. "I can't tell since I haven't know you for that long but if you decided on changing, that must mean you weren't happy and you were trying to change that."

All of a sudden, I hear loud stomping as a man comes running down the hall. He looks in and locks eyes with Charlie, his glares shooting daggers as he stomps over to her. She seems terrified. I walk to him cautiously, trying to calm him down but he shoves me aside, knocking me into the other bed. He swings his fist and it hits Charlie in the face, hard. He keeps going, blow after blow onto her face, her body, her stomach. She winces from the pain and tries to turn away, shielding herself with her arms but he pulls her hair, tugging her face out of her safety zone as he continues his assault.

I stand back up and rush to him, catching his fist before he give her another black eye, "What the fuck are you doing to her?!"

He scoffs and turns to me, one arm grabbing me by the collar and glaring me right in the eye. "Is this your new boy toy?"

"Don't hurt him, Danny! Please!" She's crying now, begging for my safety. I'm getting more pissed off by the second. This is what she deals with every day at home? No wonder she almost jumped.

"You're fucking pathetic. Dad wouldn't even come to see your sorry ass. I have to come here and deal with your stupid medical bills because you decided to be an unstable little bitch!"

"Dude, I'm only warning you once. Shut up and lay the hell off of her!" I scowl at him.

"Don't call him a _her_!" He lets go of her and yells at me. "He is supposed to be my brother, he's supposed to be a man. What kind of man wants to cut off his own fucking balls?! He's a goddamn disgrace!"

"No! You're the disgrace. For beating your little _sister_ who's in a hospital, for making a scene in said hospital and for threatening to beat up a friend of _hers_ that actually cares! Now let me the fuck go before you join her in the hospital!"

Soon, some security guards come in and take Danny away. He screams obscenities as the guards pull him out of the room. I turn back to Charlie. Her knees now tucked up to her chest and her arms in front of them, connected in a circle, wrapping herself into a small, sobbing ball.

I pat her on the back as a show of comfort. I still faintly hear her sobs and sniffles. I feel awful, getting an idea of what she goes through day by day. After what feels like forever, I hear her rigged breathing calm down and her sobs disappear. Her head pops out of her knees and I see the damage her brother has done to her. Her face is covered in bruises, some of them blood red while others are already turning black and blue, her lip is cracked and bleeding, she's got a black eye on her right.

I must look mortified because she just gives me a hollow smile, the ones you know are fake and just for show, and says, "It's OK, this happens all the time. I'm just lucky it's just Danny this time."

"It's usually more than one?!" I shout in shock. I must have been pretty loud because everyone in the room looks at me, even some of the nurses in the hall are glancing over to us.

"Sometimes, it's my dad. Sometimes it's Danny or my uncle Nathan. On some days, if I'm _lucky_ , they double team me, back to back. My mom cries a lot but after they leave, she always comes to hug me, saying it's OK and that they do it because they love me."

"Bull fucking shit! No one beats the living crap out of the people they care about. Your family is abusive, Charlotte. I don't want to see you hurt again."

"But they're my family, Kyle. I have nowhere else to go."

We sit together in silence, she's right. I'm not sure if reporting them for abuse would work since I've only seen her brother beat her and it could be pretty easy to just push it all to Danny. That wouldn't save her from the rest of them.

I'm pretty sure that I can't take her in, she's 16 and her family still has custody over her. If I try and take her away from them, they could report us for kidnapping or something. I doubt she'll have any money if she tried to get her freedom from them legally. The silence is becoming unbearable, so I decide to break it.

"What do you want me to do, Charlie? How can I help you?"

"I don't know." She answers dazedly. "You saved me, but I still don't know how long I can hold on. This is something I wouldn't wish on anyone, I know I'm not the only one, they deserve a second chance too."

"Now that you mention it, I remember one of the reasons I came to visit you." I'm not sure if this is the best moment to bring it up, but at this point no moment's a good moment.

I take a deep breath and explain to her, "Charlie, the student podcast called me up and invited me to appear as a guest. I'm pretty sure they're gonna ask me about you and the incident." I look her in the eyes. "This is your story and I won't say anything if you don't want it going on air."

"No…" She shakes her head. "Tell them, Kyle. Tell them everything I've said, everything I'm going through and everything have happened here today."

"Are you sure? I don't know who will hear it and I don't know what will happen once everything's out."

"My guess, either two things. One, nothing much changes, I'll still be on the short end of the stick and those sick bastards are going to use it as ammo and rip on me for being a pussy-"

"You are not a pussy, Charlie. You're a survivor. What I seen today more than proves it." I cut her off.

"-Two," She continues like I hadn't just interrupted her, "people might actually give a shit for once. People might stop and look around to see that some people are broken but not yet beyond repair, and those who are trying to do what I almost accomplished, maybe they'll give it a second thought. They can't rely on someone like you to show up at the last minute and stop them before they could give themselves another fighting chance."

"You think the odds are worth it?" I raise an eyebrow.

"You think risking your safety to save me was worth it?"

"OK." I sigh, "I call the nurses so they can treat your wounds. Stay strong. Charlie." I stand up and wave goodbye.

"Thank you Kyle. For doing this and for visiting me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a little insight into Charlie's life so far, along with Charlie and Kyle's friendship. Next time we wrap up the interview with Kyle.
> 
> As always, if you like this story feel free to check out the drama it's based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	9. Thank You for Listening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle finishes his story and Stan sings a song for Charlie as they wrap up the session.

**Kyle's POV**

"That was a few days ago, I went to see her before I came here. Somehow her mom came over to see her. She looked miserable, she seemed so torn between her family and the well-being of her daughter. In the end, it was Charlotte who comforted her mom. But her eyes were so empty, so void of hope and life, I've never met someone so strong and yet so helpless."

I take a moment to calm down, reliving this memory is so overwhelming for me. "So you see, Jake. I'm no hero. A hero could have done more for her, a hero could have rescued her out of her shitty life. All I can do is stand by her and hope for a miracle."

I bury my face into my hands and take a few deep breaths. Fuck, I told her to stay strong. I have to do the same. I look back up to see them in shock. Jake seems speechless and Stan looks like his brain got overloaded, mouth open like a fish and mind scrambling to find the words he wants to say. I can't blame them.

This is a lot to take in, especially for Stan. This is not what I thought would have happened if I'd ever see him again. I mean, you see your old friend again after 8 years and he decides to talk about suicides and abuse.

"Thank you, Kyle." Jake finally says, he turns to Stan. "Stan, you seem like you've got something to say about this."

"All I can say is wow… I didn't know how severe it was. Kyle, you're pretty great for what you did. You've always been the smart one and now you've got one hell of a message to spread."

I correct him, " _She_ has one hell of a message to spread. I did this is for her, and for all of them who are still hidden and those who need support and guidance. She told me to tell them to stay safe. This world's a pretty messed up place and sometimes it pays to be a coward to protect yourself, to just stay in the closet for a little longer until no one can tell you otherwise, until you're strong enough to fight back. She's the one with the message, I'm just the mail boy in this."

I turn to him. "Stan, I'm sure your music would do a better job than my speech preaching. I mean, Jake mentions that how you inspire so many people and I see it in the comments too. I know that it would mean the world to her if you help her too."

"Of course. Kyle." He smiles at me, it's comforting to see him smile again.

Sue gives us a hand gesture, telling Jake to wrap it up. "That's our time today, folks. Stan, would you like to end it with a song?"

"Yeah…" Stan stands up with his guitar now in hand. "Originally I wanted to play something new I came up with, but now I wanna play a song I listened to that helped me through some tough times. I hope that Charlotte, if you're listening right now, I'm honoured to have heard your story and I'll do what I can to help."

He takes a breath, guitar pick in hand resting on the strings. He starts singing as his guitar plays a soft yet depressing melody.

>   _Lost and all alone_
> 
> _I held the fear at bay_
> 
> _Always called the "weakling"_
> 
> _I've never been too brave, but_
> 
> _From the time we met, things began to change_
> 
> _I fight now to protect someone tied by fate_

I listen to him sing, the recordings I've heard don't do him justice at all. His voice is so powerful, so soothing.

>   _From the black and frigid darkness that I am_
> 
> _Somehow I could wake_
> 
> _From nothingness, I broke out of my shell_
> 
> _Met with only pain_
> 
> _Pain that I could love that I could gain, that I could hate_
> 
> _Pain that gave me courage_
> 
> _To fight against my fate_

I see the whole studio focus on him. His singing is so emotional, his voice creating a melody so memorising it's even sucking Sue in. He truly is an inspiration, but at the same time I can't help but feel sad. He said that this song helped him through something in his life, what was it that hurt him so much?

>   _So take all that I have_
> 
> _But please take me away_
> 
> _I want to see the true world outside_
> 
> _This maze._

He's tearing up a bit and so am I, the words could not fit Charlotte any better. Now I _have_ to play this to Charlotte later if she hasn't heard this.

> _Lost, but not alone_
> 
> _We learned some time ago_
> 
> _A secret solitude_
> 
> _That only we know_

With that, Stan ends the song. Jake snaps out of some trance and gives his closing line for the podcast. "Thank you all for listening, thanks again to Kyle Broflovski and Stanley Marsh for joining us today and our wishes and respects goes out to Charlotte Baxton, we wish you a quick recovery and to everyone watching a good night."

"Aaaannd we're off! Good work today, people. Kyle Broflovski, can I talk to you for a moment?" Sue says after saying her weekly good jobs to her crew. I'm guessing it's either the remark to Jake about the incident or the fact that I can't stop myself from almost swearing on a live podcast.

"Thank you so much for coming today, Kyle. I want to give my wishes to Charlotte on behalf of the BC Live crew." She says with a reassuring smile.

Wow, I'm shocked, that's not what I expected at all…

"Also, next time watch the language, we don't need a PG rating for the show." …and there it is.

I laugh and say, "Well if you ever let me back on, I'll let you wash my mouth before we start rolling."

"I'm holding you up to that, Broflovski." She punches me playfully on the shoulder. Man, I just met her and she reminds me so much about my friends.

We say our goodbyes as I walk out the building, I start thinking about Stan. This is the first time I've seen him since we were 10 and Man, has he changed. He's grown much taller and has a strong, muscular build, something tells me he did not give up sports after he left South Park like I did. His hair is much longer now with his bangs brushed over, covering a bit of the left side of his face.

His style's probably what throws me off the most, even though he's still wearing a brown jacket, he dresses more artsy now if that makes sense, tight jeans and plaid shirts with accessories like those chains on his belt loops, I noticed a few leather bracelets on his wrist and the necklace on his neck with a guitar pick as a pendant.

I guess he's gotta look the part now that he's an upcoming singer, I heard about his channel, I went to check it out after hearing Kenny talk about it, he seemed so lost back then, I'm actually kinda relieved to see him like this now.

I come back from my thoughts and I check my watch. Oh god, its 7 p.m. already?! I've got to head home to pick up Tweek. Kenny wants us to visit for his first time on the job and he's promising us the time of our lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That wraps up the interview, I hope you all enjoyed it. Next time, we follow Stan after the interview.
> 
> The song Stan sings is a part of song by CtrlZPro on YouTube, Link to the song: watch?v=ZHrSE0iRUjs
> 
> The song if you don't know is called Memory and it is from an RPG Maker horror game called Ib. A personal favorite of mine.
> 
> So for those who finished season 20, I have mixed feelings about this season. I really don't like two thirds of the entire season and yet they kinda changed my mind with the finale. I wish I hated it more than I do because it really wasn't that good.
> 
> As always, if you like this story check out the Korean drama it is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	10. Sytx and Stones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan goes with Sue and her friends to a local club and meets up with Kyle’s gang.

**Stan's POV**

God dammit, Kyle just rushed out of the building. Sue is holding me back to talk about the arrangements for my first session. I can't believe it, my first time in years and I haven't even gotten the chance to go talk to him. Seeing him again is so weird, I feel a wide mix of emotions, joy, anger, sadness, betrayal. I don't know what to think, but I do know that I want to talk to him again and try to figure how what happened to our friendship.

I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket and a familiar ringtone playing. Knowing who it is, I answer with a dull tone. "Hey fatass, I finished the podcast."

"Kewl, you're free for the day." Wait, he ignored me calling him a fatass? What the hell? "Also your hippie bitch called earlier, told me to let you know that she's staying with her folks for a few days."

Great, Wendy's out for a while. Now what? As desperate as I am, I'm not about to ask Cartman for some quality bonding time.

"OK then. I guess I'll talk to you later."

Saturday night. Alone. Damn that's weak. Maybe I should visit that club, if I'm gotta get loose, might as well.

It turns out that it is a pretty popular spot among Boulder students. Sue and the crew invited me to come with them to hang out and let loose. So here I am now, standing outside the club called Styx & Stones. It's a pretty big place and I can already feel the beats and lights pulsating around me.

I take a look to see a crowd bigger than the one I fought through during Black Friday when I was a kid, but it doesn't look like we'll have to join them or anything because Sue manages to get us all in. That girl is a wizard, I tell you.

The inside of this club is killer. It's totally dark except for the lights at the bar, the effects on stage and neon lights on the railings, a large dance floor in the middle of the club and right in front of a high as hell stage, too high to stage dive unless you're prepared to break a few bones, with a high tech DJ set on it, wired to the 2 story speakers behind it along with the wall speakers all over the club. Needless to say I'm really impressed by all this.

The guys all spilt off to do their own things and I'm left here aimlessly admiring the layout, since I'm here might as well pay Kate a visit. I walk to the bar and I see a few girls and guys working the bar. The guys are dressed in a red button top with a black vest and pants, the girls are wearing the same type but it's so low and obvious that it looked like someone tried to rip some buttons off their shirts to get some cleavage.

I see her mixing up a drink for another client, I decide it to play it smooth and have some fun. I lean into the counter and tap her shoulder, "You know you shouldn't be offering drinks to minors." She turns to me and giggles. "Don't worry about me superstar, what can I get ya?"

"Jack Daniels, straight up." I order. "Well someone here's a badass." She smirks, she grabs a bottle from under the counter and pours it into a glass. "Here you go, hot stuff."

I take my drink and thank her, the people here are going insane and so is the DJ, who is looks like he's high of the energy. He's wearing a gasmask and bouncing on stage, he's so hyper I'm pretty sure he thinks he's the fucking ringmaster, bringing everyone's mood up to past eleven.

Within the sea of waving arms and glowing sticks brackets, I see a familiar head of red marmalade hair, I walk into the sea of dancers, it's hard to walk with everyone knocking me around and I'm losing sight of that bright red beacon.

I feel my foot stepping on something soft, I lift it up to see a lime green lump. I grab it to see another set of hands reaching for the soft lump and a pair of eyes meeting mine.

Now that I see Kyle without his hat I noticed another difference, his hair is much shorter now. He trimmed his sides, it's barely covering his ears and leaving his puffy red curls on the top and in the front, it stands out now and forms his bangs that hang in front of his face, framing his face perfectly.

I straighten myself with the ushanka in hand, dusting it with my hands before giving it back. He awkwardly accepts it and stuffs it back on his head, muttering a thanks while avoiding my eyes. This is wrong, he was once my best friend, why does he act like we shouldn't know each other?

"Kyle…" I start. "I know this is weird but can we talk?"

"Sure. Let's get off the dance floor first." he nods and says softly, I grimace at the fact that he looks so scared to be around me. What happened to him? This isn't the same Kyle Broflovski I saw today on the podcast and definitely not the one I knew 8 years ago.

We walk to a wall away from the mash pit of a dance floor and start talking.

"So, how has your summer been?" Great conversation starter, Marsh…

"Not a lot, South Park's been kinda mild nowadays compared to the adventures we had together as kids."

"I didn't know you were going to Boulder."

"Well, why not?"

"I guess, what are you taking?"

"Psychiatry, I'm trying to be a psychiatrist." He replies.

"Psychiatry?" I ask him confused, I mean he's smart and all but I never thought he'd want to be a psychiatrist.

"Yeah, ma wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer or whatever. If I'm gonna be a doctor, might as well be one I want to be."

"Cool… I'm taking music." I add,

"Yeah, I've noticed."

…

Well this is awkward. Look at us, 8 years ago no one could even separate us and now we're standing at a club, making stupid small talk. I can't help but chuckle at our situation, Kyle looks at me with a confused expression.

"You've changed a lot, Kyle." I explain to him.

He shrugs, "Not really. I'm still the same old me. You on the other hand…"

"The Kyle Broflovski I knew would not be partying on a weekend." I point out. He snickers a bit, good to know that part of him hasn't changed.

"I'm here with some friends." He explains. I hear an explosion from the stage, I turn to see the DJ waving goodbye which probably means that must be the end of his set because I see another bear masked man on standby. "That's one of them." He gestures to the gas masked DJ.

I see the DJ walk over and remove his mask. I'll be honest, I don't know whether to be surprised or not by the man behind the mask.

"Stan Marsh?" He says after the mask is off his head. Yup, it's the one and only Kenny McCormick. I wink at him and do a little pose, "Do you know anyone else this awesome?"

"DUDE!" He screams and gives me a hug. "I haven't seen you in forever! What are you doing here? What happened after you left South Park?"

He then acknowledges Kyle's presence, giving him a fist bump. "You two finally rekindling the bromance?"

"Kinda." I answer for the both of us. "Damn, I could hardly recognise you without that oversized parka. It's kinda weird now to see your face and hear your voice like this. You look great."

"Nice to see you're charmed, Marsh. Would you care for a drink and a ride home with me?" He waggles his eyebrows suggestively and Kyle punches him in the shoulder. "Chill that temper, Kylie. You know I'm always up for a threesome." Kenny laughs and takes another punch and a glare given by Kyle.

"Ignore him, Kenny's been trying to get into everyone's pants, the day I arrived he wanted to me to break in his bed with him." Kyle sighs. "And Trust me Stan, me and Tweek took forever to get used to this" he gestures his hand to circle Kenny's face.

"Tweek? You mean Tweek Tweak? The spazzy coffee kid?" I ask.

"He's not as spazzy as he used to be, we started hanging out with him after you… Well, you know." Kenny trails off and scratches the back of his head while Kyle just looks down in silence, avoiding my glaze.

"…After I left" I finish for Kenny.

So Tweek's my replacement?

What the fuck you guys!? Tweek was once Kenny's replacement after he died for about a year and we ended up kicking him out because he wasn't fitting in with us, and now it sounds like they've been fine without me.

I feel my temper boiling, I've been upset that we've stopped hanging out because of my cynicism and I was so happy to find my old friends again only to find out that I've been ditched again.

I glare at them, making no attempt to hide my rage, Kenny noticed and Kyle just shrinks further. I wanna yell at them, I wanna lash out at them, especially at Kyle for making me feel the same goddamn way after all these years. Hatred, abandonment and betrayal.

Before I can say anything, I feel something hit my head, hard and a force charging right at me, knocking me to the ground. I feel a fury of punches hitting me before I could even register what happened. I see Kenny and Kyle shocked as they try and pull off whoever is assaulting me right now.

I decide to fight back, giving this jerk one good kick to the gut. He gets knocked back with the air knocked out of his lungs, Kenny and Kyle take the opportunity to grab him, pulling him back. After I regain my breath, I glare at my attacker but it softens a bit when I see who it is. It's Tweek, he's so much stronger and I wouldn't have recognized him if not for his messy spiky blond hair along with the constant twitches on his face.

"Tweek calm down! It's Stan!" I hear Kyle scream. Tweek looks like he's blinded by rage, unable to comprehend Kyle is saying. "Tweek, he's not gonna hurt us. Remember Stan, right? From when we were kids?" Kyle's tone softens into a soothing voice.

Tweek seems to have cooled down, rage quickly replaced by shock and anxiety. Our little brawl has drawn a crowd and everyone is watching us. I want to go hide somewhere and forget that all of this happened but Tweek decides to go full breakdown on us.

" **OH GOD! THEY'RE LOOKING AT ME! THEY THINK I'M SOME FREAK!** "

No offense Tweek, if they didn't just then, they definitely do now. Kyle and Kenny are now panicking, trying to calm Tweek who's shaking, like he's two steps away from a seizure, panting and breathing rapidly. He looks like he's about to black out right there.

But instead, he runs so fast that no one could stop him, a few people are even on the floor thanks to the blond shoving them. The three of us immediately run after him, he's in no state to do anything now. If we let him out on the streets like that, he is going to get himself killed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys all meet again. Poor Tweek and Stan, they didn't start off their reunion well though. Next time, we get Kyle's side of the night.
> 
> I'll be trying to give you guys 2 chapters a week, one on Monday and one on Friday. This will go on at least until January. Thanks to all those who follow this story and special thanks to Mekabella for the constant reviews.
> 
> As always, feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS
> 
> Take care, Loves


	11. Hands of Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle’s POV of the night at Styx & Stones.

**Kyle's POV**

Bright lights, huge crowds and house music blasting loud in my ears are probably not my usual way of spending a Saturday night, but here am I in the middle of a dance floor with Tweek. I'll be honest, I'm surprised he agreed to come, crowds are definitely not his thing but he said he wanted to be there for Kenny during his set. I'm proud of him for making the effort for Kenny, maybe this is the real first big step to overcoming his anxiety.

As soon as I pull up my car to the house, I see Tweek and Kenny in Tweek's car, waiting for me. It's lucky that he came back in time, apparently he died earlier while he was practicing; a vinyl flew off the turntable and sliced him in the head.

I park mine and jump into the front seat. Tweek is driving us there since he got his keys back and he wanted to return the favour for me driving last time, plus his car is bigger which gives Kenny enough space for his equipment in the back with some leg room to spare.

"We saw the podcast, Kyle." Kenny says from the backseat. "How are you doing?" Of course he'd want to bring this up. It's only been eating me up since the end of 4th grade.

"I'm fine" I growl, frustrated with my arms across my chest. I don't want to think about it now, I want them to just drop it, probably not the right way to do it. Their concerned glares are more than enough to prove my point.

"Kyle…" Kenny says, worry seeping through his tone. Of course he'd start, and he has always been able to read us like an open book.

"I… I don't know." I sigh. "I didn't think I'd see him again, especially like that." I answer honestly.

"W-well he didn't s-seem too upset, Kyle." Tweek interjects.

"Well, I wouldn't want to blow up my frustrations about my ex-best friend in front of an online audience either." I pout, leaning against the door.

"Kyle." Kenny sighs. "This is Stan we're talking about, I don't know what happened all those years ago that made you stop trying but I know he'd never hold a grudge against you."

"No, Kenny. That's the Stan from when we were 10. The Stan Marsh now is an internet star, he can have as many friends as he can, better friends. Friends that wouldn't abandon him when he needed them the most." I slouch back at my seat, remembering everything that happened that faithful day, the day I abandoned him for Cartman Burger.

"Dude, he had cynicism so bad that it made me depressed and pissed off and I was the one who died on a daily basis. You can't keep blaming yourself for what happened in the past."

"You should have heard him, Kenny." My voice cracks. "You should have heard him every time I tried to apologize. How much he hated me, for leaving him behind. What kind of super best friend am I?" I'm now on the verge of tears, I'm not gonna cry now, not over this again.

I hear Tweek sigh and Kenny's hand on my shoulder comforting me, I'm glad they're here, I probably would have broken a long time ago if it wasn't for them.

"Lo-look Kyle, let's j-just forget about t-this and have fun tonight." Tweek says.

"Yeah dude, I'll play one of your favourite mixes tonight. Make sure you're on the floor for that one." Kenny adds. Like I said, I'm really glad they're here and I'm not afraid to let them know.

"Thanks guys. You guys kick ass." I say to the both of them.

"No problem, man. Just pay me back tonight." Kenny smirks, and we're back to this again.

I just roll my eyes at him and laugh, "Whatever dude, make sure you play some Monstercat tonight. I'm not letting you take that back." I sit back now relaxed, thinking about the night ahead of us.

* * *

 

After a round of drinks, Tweek and I decide to head to the dance floor. He's still shaking a little but he seems to be enjoying himself, I think he'll be fine, as long as one of us stays with him to keep his cool. Kenny keeps his word as I hear my favourite song from Hellberg. I start dancing to Hands of Time, momentarily ignoring that fact that I can't dance for shit, I found that out after doing that gay ass thing for that rainforest choir.

The crowd is going nuts now, knocking me around, I notice that Tweek is no longer beside me and… dancing with some girl? Wow, way to make progress, Tweek.

I also notice the cool air on my ears, indicating that my hat is now gone, must've got knocked off in the moshing dance pit. I look around to try and find my lime green ushanka among the stomping feet. I spot it and reach out to it, only to find it being picked up by a pair of tanned muscular arms.

I look up to find his azure blue eyes staring into my forest green ones. Fuck, I feel myself getting stirred up again. The guilt and everything coming back to me in one ruthless punch, I can't even make eye contact with him as I awkwardly place my hat back on my head. This is terrible, I'm not ready to do this again so soon.

My mind is running to a million places as I try to figure out what to do now, Stan's voice calls me back to reality. "Kyle… I know this is weird but can we talk?"

I nod, "Sure. Let's get off the dance floor first." I say, barely able to force my voice to say anything. This is so awkward, I thought he didn't want to be friends anymore. I reluctantly follow behind him.

We lean up against a wall away from the dance floor, I look at the stage to see Kenny still going at it, then look back at Stan to see I'm staring at me. What do I even say to him?

He asks about my major and seems genuinely surprised, I guess I wasn't the psychiatric type, I was just as random and oblivious when it comes to stuff like this. I don't give him to the full reason why I chose psychiatry. That it's for my friends, for people like Tweek, Charlie and Stan, the people I want to understand and help.

Our small talk slips back into awkward silence, then I hear him laughing. I throw a confused look at him.

"You've changed a lot, Kyle." He says. Huh? I've changed?! You're the one with the cool style and attitude. You've always have been…

"Not really." I reply. "I'm still the same old me. You on the other hand…" I rack my brain on trying to figure out what to say next.

You look amazing?

You've gotten bigger and taller than I remembered?

You've gotten a hundred times better now from when we were kids now that I'm not holding you back?

Fuck, why is this so hard?

"The Kyle Broflovski I knew would not be partying on a weekend" He points out, stopping my thoughts again. I snicker at that, it's true. This is not my usual scene, if it weren't for Kenny, I don't think I'd even be here right now. It seems to have lighten up the mood a bit since I see a faint smile on his face.

"I'm here with some friends." I tell him, suddenly a loud explosion comes from the stage and Stan immediately turns over to look. I shake my head with a smile, Kenny always wants to make a scene. "That's one of them." I gesture to Kenny walking off the stage. He must have seen us because he's making his way over here. Thank Abraham, at least now it wouldn't be so awkward between me and Stan.

"Stan Marsh?" Kenny says after taking off his mask, I guess he's just as surprised as I am to see our old friend here. Stan surprisingly winks and strikes a little pose at Kenny, "Do you know anyone else this awesome?"

"DUDE!" Kenny goes in for a hug with Stan and I'm just caught off guard. I did not expect Stan to do something like that, even during that metrosexual fad, he never acted flirty like that. Is that something he picked up over the years? Kenny asks Stan a bunch of questions, he then suddenly looks at me and gives me a fist bump, thanks for noticing me now Kenny. "You two rekindling the bromance?" He asks. No Kenny, we're just awkwardly leaning against a wall, with me trying to not to make myself into a blundering idiot.

"Kinda." Stan answers for us. "Damn, I could hardly recognise you without that oversized parka. It's kinda weird now to see your face and hear your voice like this. You look great."

I look at Kenny, knowing him he's probably gonna try and court him to bed. "Nice to see you're charmed, Marsh. Would you care for a drink and a ride home with me?" He says with a smirk, wriggling his brows. I give him a punch on the shoulder, my way of saying 'knock it off'. Kenny just laughs at my face, "Chill that temper, Kylie. You know I'm always up for a threesome." I ignore the last part and just start glaring daggers at him by this point. God I hate it when he calls me that, makes me feel like a fucking girl, and in front of Stan no less. Stan doesn't seem fazed at that name Kenny called me.

I sigh, shaking my head in frustration. "Ignore him, Kenny's been trying to get into everyone's pants, the day I arrived he wanted to me to break in his bed with him." I explain. "And Trust me Stan, me and Tweek took forever to get used to this" I gesture around that son of a bitch's face.

"Tweek? You mean Tweek Tweak? The spazzy coffee kid?" Stan asks in shock. Oh no, he doesn't think that…"He's not as spazzy as he used to be, we started hanging out with him after you… Well, you know." Kenny trails off and scratches the back of his head awkwardly.

"…After I left" he finish for Kenny.

God this isn't how I wanted it to seem. I can't even look anymore and I just turn my attention to the floor in silence. Even with my eyes on the ground, I can feel his rage. I feel like breaking, I wanted to see him again and explain everything, but this? This isn't how I wanted it, why in God's name does this keep happening to us?

The next thing I know, I hear glass shattering on impact. Stan's on the ground with Tweek punching him over and over again in blind fury. What the hell happened in those 2 seconds?! Kenny and I try to pull him off before he seriously hurts Stan but thanks to his boxing lessons, Tweek has become almost impossible to pull off. It's only when Stan kicks him in the gut and knocks him back that we manage to stop this fight, even then it takes the both of us at full force to stop Tweek from charging at him like a mad bull, a crowd starts forming and Tweek is having a breakdown.

No! He was doing so well, this was supposed to be his greatest leap. Instead he dashes through the crowd and out the door. We run out to the parking lot to see him jumping into his car. FUCK! This has just gone from bad to worse. He just had to get his car back today.

Me and Kenny try and get to him but we're a little too late as we watch his car burst off aimlessly through the streets, Kenny then proceeds to get run over by Tweek's car and leaves me staring at both his corpse and a quickly disappearing car figure.

Great, now Kenny's dead, Tweek is speeding about 120 miles an hour down heavy traffic and I'm here, helplessly standing next to a corpse. Just as I'm about to scream and freak out, Stan pulls up in a car which I assume is his.

"Come on! We have to cut him off before he hits someone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time we follow Stan as he and Kyle go after Tweek. A little cliffhanger for Christmas, you guys like that? cx
> 
> Anyways, as always feel free to check out the drama this is based on. "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS.
> 
> Take care and happy holidays, Loves.


	12. Race to Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan and Kyle race after Tweek to stop him from hurting himself during an episode

**Stan's POV**

Once Kyle jumps into my car, I slam down on the gas, hoping we can catch up to Tweek before he seriously hurts himself or anyone else. The car jerks forward as it speeds down the road, Kyle griping on the seat while I give my steering wheel a death grip. Unfortunately, we are in Downtown Boulder and we have to stop him from a possible collision. We need a game plan.

I swerve through the honking cars as I try to catch up to him, "Ok Kyle, tell me what's wrong with Tweek."

"He's got social anxiety, the crowd watching him must've freaked him into an episode." Kyle says as he dials 911.

The traffic around us is making it hard for me to keep the car steady while trying to spot his car.

"There he is!" He abruptly shouts as Tweek's white sedan appears in the stream of cars.

We overtake the cars in front of us and tail Tweek, but his unstable state just makes getting to him impossible, "OK. Say we catch up to him, what's the plan?" I ask him.

"Fuck, I don't know. I'm calling an ambulance and hope they have sedative to calm him down."

"Wait, you don't have any?!" I look to him incredulously and he looks back at me in shock.

"DUDE, why the fuck would I have seductive on me?! Besides he hasn't had an episode this drastic since junior prom, and we were still at South Park then. Where his parents could help us."

"So what do we do?"

"How's about stopping him from driving and killing himself?! Now stop asking and catch up!" His attention now turns to the emergency service operator on the other side of the line.

Well that's something I guess.

"Hello, 911? I need help. My friend is currently having a panic episode and speeding down Pearl Street, I need medical help."

"Damn it, where the hell did he learn to drive like that?" I mutter under my breath, I swear he drives like a fucking NASCAR racer.

Kyle just ignores my questions and focuses on answering the operator, "He has anxiety and he got triggered by a crowd. No, I don't think he has any allergies…. NO! I don't have his medicine with me either."

Man, we need to do something. I speed up even more, I'm pretty sure whatever speed limit was set, and I just broke it tenfold.

"He's heading towards Sunshine Canyon."

"Then go, hurry up Stan!"

Wow, rude. I know Tweek's life is at stake here but does he have to boss me around like that?

"We're heading down Mapleton and towards Sunshine Canyon, please hurry!"

We follow him up the trails and I don't know if you know this, driving down the winding roads in high speed car chase isn't easy. I see a clearing and I get an idea, I push the gas pedal down flat as I overtake Tweek's car. Kyle clutches onto the seat tighter with one hand holding the phone to his ear. I hear the panic shaking out of his squeaking cries.

"Kyle, hang on to something."

"STAN! What are you doing?!" He shrieks

"Something stupid and crazy." I admit.

With a sudden turn on the steering wheel, I crash straight into the passenger side of the car and we start spinning. I step on the brakes to try and slow us down as the scene outside keeps spinning like we're on that teacup ride at theme parks.

We finally stop, both the cars, as I get out and try to regain my bearings. I feel sore as hell and Kyle looks tired and disoriented but I think we're alright. That may not have been my smartest idea, we didn't crash into the Cliffside or anything so that's always good. The ambulance arrives and the paramedics manage to pull the now unconscious Tweek into the ambulance.

"Is he gonna be OK?"

"Well, his injures from the crash don't seem serious, but with cases like these, we will need to keep him in for the night at least to check for concussions." One of the paramedic explains, "We will sedate him if his panic attack continues after he regains consciousness."

"That's good." Kyle sighs in relief.

"How about you boys?"

"Well, I'm still walking and talking, just a bit sore from the crash."

After the ambulance takes Tweek away, I wait by my now wreaked car with Kyle for the tow truck to come. Man, how am I gonna explain this to Mom? Wait, how am I gonna get back?! There isn't a taxi here and we're way too far out of town.

"Kyle, how are we gonna get back?" I ask him, Kyle looks up at me from his phone and sighs.

"I texted Kenny to drive my car to our location when he comes back, usually it takes about a few hours or tomorrow. If Kenny doesn't make it first, we can always just go with the tow truck." He answers calmly before turning his gaze back to the screen.

Wow… I hadn't thought of that. I lean back of the door of my car and begin my patient wait for rescue. Everything that happened tonight replaying in my head. This is by far the most…

"Holy shit! Stan, you're bleeding!" Kyle exclaims, pocketing his phone and pulling me closer, Now that he mentions it, I see blood on the collar of my shirt and I reach my hand to touch from my head to my neck, blood smeared all over my hand and down my neck.

"Shit, it must've been from the fight." He mutters. "Stan, kneel down so I can see it better." I do as he says without a word. He tilts my head down and into his chest, my head touching his chest and looking at the ground as he examines the wound apparently on the back of my head.

"Doesn't look too deep, probably about half an inch deep…"

Stings of pain spike through as he touches it. He moves away from me but keeps me in my kneeling position. I hear ripping, my eyes move from the ground to the source of the sound. I see Kyle, taking off his jacket, tearing off a strip of cloth from his t-shirt. "Stan. Head, down." I obey again, from the corner of my eye I see Kyle go to my car, coming back with a box of tissues I left in the car along with an unopened bottle of water.

"This is gonna have to do for now." Kyle says and he starts pouring the water onto my wound.

"Ah! Ouch! Fucking hell Kyle!" I scream as the liquid washes away the blood and hits every nerve there, that really fucking hurts!

"Hold still, Stan."

He then dabbing the tissue with the remaining water, his shaky hands cleaning the wounds on my head. Hisses and grunts of pain escape my mouth but I've just been through the worst part. After half a box of tissues and an emptied bottle, he ties the torn off cloth onto my head as a makeshift bandage.

"That should help with the bleeding." Kyle finishes and pulls me back up to my feet. As soon as I'm on my feet, he starts to sway and falls onto me. I catch him and turn his face to see what happened. His eyes become unfocused, his body is shaking and his face wincing in pain.

"Kyle, what's wrong?"

"Dude, I think…my blood…sugar…" Those words escaping his mouth in a weak and breathy tone are the last things I hear and then I watch those dull green eyes roll back. He falls limp onto me, not responding to me shaking him or calling his name.

"KYLE! Kyle! Goddammit, when was the last time you ate?!" No response.

Well this night just gets more fucked up with every passing minute, Tweek had a breakdown and is in an ambulance, Kenny's dead, and I'm bleeding through my skull while the only other person with me is passed out in my arms. I have to wake him up.

"Kyle, come on man. Wake up. Stay with me!" Still no response.

I have no choice, I call 911 but an ambulance might not make here for a while. If I walk down the path, I might meet someone on its way up here, maybe the other ambulance, the tow truck or Kenny. They can get Kyle to a hospital.

"Come on, Kyle. Let's see if we can get some help." I put his jacket back on him and carry him in my arms as I begin my long walk down the clearing. I take a glance at Kyle, checking for any responses. This is the first time I've seen him so peaceful since we saw each other again, as messed up as that sounds.

I look a good look at the boy I have cradling in my arms, he's much lighter than I expected. His thin yet slightly muscular arms dangling on the sides, his face against my chest. I can at least feel him breathing against it, which is always a good sign. If his breaths wasn't light and short, he almost seems asleep, like when we were 10 sleeping over at one of our houses'.

"Man, Kyle… What happened between us?" I sigh.

I'm alone and Kyle's unconscious in my arms, this might seem like a horrible time for this but it might be the only time I can get this off my chest.

"I missed you, dude. I don't know why you abandoned me, I don't know why we never patched things up like we used to. But it's horrible without you. I'm still mad but I don't want to be, I want my super best friend back. Everyone else sucks compared to you guys, especially you."

For the first time in a long time, I feel relief and the small smile on my face feels genuine. Even if he never hears or remembers any of what I just said, it feels great to say it to him. I start to feel lightheaded, I'm guessing it's from the blood loss and the exhaustion of walking down the trail while holding Kyle.

I've placed him a piece of candy I found in my pocket under his tongue but he's been fading in and out, he's still pretty weak but I think he'll be fine as long as I find some help before I pass out too. Suddenly, I see a bright light shining at us. We're gonna be OK now, that's my last thought before I feel darkness around me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No! Not another cliffhanger! Sorry guys but drama does what drama does. Next time we find out what happens to Stan and Kyle. I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far.
> 
> As always feel free to check out the drama it's based on,"It's Okay That's Love" by SBS.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	13. Two Broken Halves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan thinks about Kyle and the night before while Kenny and Tweek talk about the two’s broken friendship.

**Stan's POV**

Ugh… Everything hurts. My head feels like it got crushed by a freight train. I weakly open my eyes to a blinding flash of white light. I move around to find myself lying on a stiff bed with a thin piece of blanket on me. Green dividers and white walls along with the sound of carts being pushed and the conversations of people. I think I'm at a hospital, makes sense I guess. I'm guessing that car sent me here after I passed out with Kyle.

Wait, Kyle!

My mind suddenly snapping back to my friend that could be in a diabetic coma right now. I jump up off the bed and grab my jacket that's on the chair beside my bed. I reach for the phone on the bedside table and notice a note under it, it's a phone number with a message under it.

Hey Stan, sorry I got to you guys so late. Kyle's fine, I'm taking him home once he's up. Call me when you can. – Kenny

So this is Kenny's number. I check myself out of the hospital after the doctors let me go. I first call Cartman to tell him the simplified version of what happened and to ask him to get my car. After calling him and my mom to let her know I'm fine, I dial up Kenny.

After 5 rings, I hear his voice.

_"Hey, hey, this is Kenny."_

"Hey Kenny, it's Stan, I got your note."

 _"Glad to see you up and kicking, you've been out for a few days now."_ He informs me.

It's been days? Mom must be worried sick, I'm gonna have to call her after I check up on Kyle _._

"Yeah, I'm ok. How's Kyle? Can I talk to him?"

_"Umm… Stan, its midday. He's in class and I'm at work."_

Oh yeah… I'm supposed to be in class right now too…

"Can I come see you guys later then?" I ask, I want to see them again.

_"No offense Stan…" He starts awkwardly, "But Kyle might not wanna see you right now."_

…

Wait, what?

"EXCUSE ME?!" I almost yell incredulously but refrain myself since I am still in a hospital, "I helped saved his life! Why wouldn't he want to see his best friend?"

_"Look, I don't really know what happened between you two but you guys haven't been best friends in 8 years and I'm not gonna get between your super best friend drama. You two settle this yourselves."_

With that, the line dies and I hear nothing more than beeps. The motherfucker hung up on me, that bastard…

I walk over to the cab Cartman called for me, more confused and frustrated than ever.

Once I get back to my apartment, I just crash on the couch. It doesn't matter how nice the hospital is, their beds and food will always be shit. I want to close my eyes for a while. Just a few minutes of not thinking about last night and not giving a shit.

Just as I feel sleep take me away, the sound of footsteps echo from the bathroom. I look up to see the girl I've been living with.

"Hey Wends." I say lazily.

"Stan, where have you been?" Thanks, Wendy. Nice to see you so happy to see me too.

"Hospital. Surprised fatass didn't tell you." I answer groggily, trying to shake off the sleep my body craves.

She looks at me blankly and begins using her interrogation voice, "I didn't believe him when he told me that you got yourself into an accident to save some suicidal spaz. What were you thinking, Stan?"

"Um… How about, I want to save this person who clearly isn't in their right mind right now? Beside he wasn't suicidal, it was just a bad series of events."

"You could have gotten yourself killed, just because Kyle helped some unstable girl doesn't mean you have to put your own life down to do it."

"Ok, first of all, what does this have to do with Kyle? Second, I helped someone. Can't you be glad about that?"

"Never mind…"

"No. You've never mentioned Kyle after the first few months when we started dating. Why bring him up now?"

"Why are you so touchy about him? You wouldn't even talk about him, you lash out at anyone who even mentions him and suddenly you're on a talk show with him all buddy-buddy. Making promises like nothing happened."

Really? Is this the issue? Why's she acting all pissy about this?

"Aw-awww." I pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration, that's a habit that'll never go away. "Wendy, I didn't even know he was gonna be there. What's the big deal anyways?"

"Whatever." She decides to drop it, thank God.

"Fine, where have you been?" I ask her.

"Oh my god, Stan! I told you last week. Bebe and Clyde moved to Denver and I've been helping them. Have you even been listening to me?!"

Ugh… This again. I don't even know why I look forward to coming back to Wendy. She's a sweet girl and all but lately we've been growing distant. I don't care as much anymore that she's out late and she doesn't care if I don't wanna do shit anymore. All that's left is just this pointless empty bickering.

"I'm tired of this. I'll be in the recording room. Don't wait for me." If she doesn't want to stop it, I'm gonna end it here.

I start walking to the recording room and slam the door shut like a pissy teenager with mood swings. I hear her on the other side of the door, shouting and groaning aloud.

And this is usually how it ends. I'm sick of it.

* * *

**Kenny's POV**

I put my phone back in my pocket. Stan's probably gonna get me hell for this later, but right now Stan's not the issue. I get back from my break to see Tweek working the counter, his classes must be over. Working at a Harbuck with Tweek isn't as bad as you'd think. It's a decent job, pays rent and Tweek's skills make this job a heck of a lot easier.

"Kenny, w-was that Stan? ACK!" Tweek asks me, handing the customer a whatever-cino. Honestly, I think Harbucks are just making em' up at this point.

"Yeah…he called about Kyle." I tell him, putting my phone back into my pocket.

"Are you gonna tell him about Stan?" He's just as nervous as I am when it comes to Kyle and Stan.

"I might have to, but that'd mean letting Kyle know Stan contacted me behind his back. Fuck, he's gonna string my balls."

"I'll never understand those two…" He shakes his head in dismay.

"Stan and Kyle have always been two of the most stubborn dickheads I've ever met, sometimes I wonder if those two just need to fuck or beat the shit outta each other, just something to get those two to stop and get rid of all that tension." Those two really are an odd case, even I don't really know what they are to each other. "I don't have all the details of what happened that day. Kyle never cracked and all I knew was that one day he just… gave up."

"And he's only gotten worse since. Do you think that they'll ever fix it?"

"Like I said, those two are the most stubborn people I know. They'll eventually work it out but honestly I'm surprised that Kyle's still functioning. He either closes himself off or falls off the deep end every time he loses Stan." I grimace as I think back to those sour memories.

"Seriously?" His head snaps up and he stares in disbelief.

"Yeah, we ripped on Stan for going Goth because of Wendy but Kyle once nearly killed a bunch of fake queers just because Stan abandoned him." I say matter-of-factly.

"Wow, I never knew." Tweek says, with his bewildered expression. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Kyle isn't someone who people would call weak or sensitive.

"Kyle's a strong kid but he's only strong when he's allowed to be weak. He's got limits too." I let out a sigh, "They were their outlets, confidents. Even though we were all friends since pre-K, there are things he'd tell Stan that I know Kyle'll never tell me."

"Is there anything we can do about it?"

I scoff, "Just because I can't die doesn't mean I have a death wish, Tweek. If Kyle catches us doing anything like what you're thinking, you can kiss your coffee machine goodbye."

"K-Kyle wouldn't d-do that, w-would he?" His eyes widen, I guess Tweek has never even really pissed Kyle off enough to witness his pure wrath.

"Dude, he broke all of Cartman's shit when he gave Kyle AIDS."

"GAH!" He squeaks in disbelief, I guess he forgotten how ruthless Kyle can be to those who wronged him. If he didn't have such a strong moral compass, I swear he'd be a bigger threat than Cartman.

I sigh, thinking back to my two friends and their fractured friendship.

God, you're a real bitch sometimes. You know that? You're making me watch two of my best friends suffer and yet you won't let me do shit to fix it, at least throw me a bone and give me some fucking directions.

_Kenny-chan Kawaii Purinsesu~_

That's my phone ringing again, I don't know who this is. I just don't want it to be Kyle or Stan again, I'm not really want to deal with them now.

"Hey hey, this is Kenny." I say, not even bothering to hide my frustration to whoever's on the other side.

_"Hello, Kinny."_

Holy shit… I never thought I'd hear that voice again.

"What the hell? How did you get this number?" I demanded, I changed my number after I left South Park. Karen is the only one in my family to have it, there is no way he could have found it.

 _"Doesn't matter."_ He ignores my question. _"I know you wanna help Kahl and Stan. I have a plan and I need you to help me."_

 **He** wants to help Stan and Kyle? **He** actually wants to help my 2 best friends. I'm sorry, I think I either died and went insane or won the lottery because that shit's impossible. But then again, he was always the one with the plan... Maybe he could help.

Well, I did ask for guidance. God, I really hope you're not trying to fuck me over here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducting Kenny's POV! I figured I needed a few more perspectives than just Stan and Kyle. I'll be honest, this and the last chapters took me forever to write. Last chapter was mostly the car scene and this one was trying to capture Kenny's personality. Next week, we go back to Stan and Kyle as we find out what he and Kenny have in store for them.
> 
> Thanks again to all those who follow this story, you all liking this story really makes me happy. Your reviews let me know what's up and let me know how I'm doing. c:
> 
> As always, feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS.
> 
> Take care and happy New Year, Loves.


	14. Unjust Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A view of Shelly’s interaction with her psychiatrist, Dr. Nixon.

**Shelly's POV**

"Prisoner 7012, you have a visitor." The guard says, he escorts me from my cell to the interview room. My weekly visitor is already sitting there, with her fake preppy smile and little notebook and pen.

"Hello, Shelly." She greets me.

"Dr. Nixon." I say in response.

"Shelly, you know you can call me Francine."

…

"How are you feeling today?" She asks me like she actually is concerned for my wellbeing, greedy fakers…

"You keep asking me and you never tell me why you care."

"Because I do."

"Pssh, you're only here because my mom paid you to."

"Shelly, you don't get paid for volunteering. I will admit, I usually only do these sessions for juvies but that doesn't mean I don't want to help you, Shelly."

"Hmph."

"How about we just talk?"

"About?"

"About you and me, let's just get to know each other."

"If that will make you leave sooner."

"What are your hobbies, Shelly?"

"Listening to music, I listen to Lorde. My mom still sends me a few of her CDs"

"Lorde?" She seems shocked. "I'm surprised people still listen to her after that incident with her on stage rubbing her-"

"I know what she did, but she's always been a childhood idol to me." I cut her off, , I guess I shouldn't be surprised but no one talks about my hero like that.

She nods and writes some more in that notebook, "What was your childhood like?"

"Awful."

"Awful?" She looks at me and raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah, awful." I boil up at the thought of those memories. "Everyone in my family's an idiot, my dad was drunk and retarded, and my grandpa just wanted to die and my brother was a turd."

"What about your mom?"

"She was selfish, she only cared about dad or Stan. She never cared about me, I date a 20 year old man 9 years ago and she never even batted an eye, never a concerned 'Are you sure about this, Shelly?'. I'm sure she could remember the names of all that turd's friends and yet she couldn't name a single thing I like."

"You must have lonely then." She suddenly interjects, that line makes me go quiet.

Was that what I felt? Loneliness? I mean people have been telling me for years that I was jealous of that turd. Ha, what does he have that I would be jealous about?

I shake those thoughts out of my head, what does she know?! "I don't know what you're talking about." I scoff.

"Well, before I got married, I was living with my sister." She started. "Since we grew up together, we were pretty close. But then after she got married, she changed. She paid so much to her family that I felt more like her roommate than her best friend. At that point, I was so lonely. But even then I had my niece to talk to, I can't imagine what it's like to have no one."

"I had friends…" I remember the few girls that I hang out with, the ones that went with me to that concert when I was still living in South Park. "But it would have been nice if she- Wait, why am I talking to you about this?"

"It's fine if you don't want to. I'm not gonna treat you like my patient. Is there anything else you wanna talk about?"

"Is there anything you wanna rat out to my mom about?" I shoot a glare at her. She sighs.

"I told you before, patient or not, nothing that's said here leaves this room. I won't tell your mom about what you said here unless you want me to."

"Whatever, I'm done for today." I turn away from her and she gets the messages. The one thing I do like about her is that she knows when she's not welcomed anymore.

"Ok then, I'll see you next week."

The guard shows up and escorts her away like they have for the past 6 weeks. Her and all her stupid diagnosis, what does she know about me? Calling me lonely because my mom loved my brother more than her first child.

Calling me jealous because he has his ugly little girlfriend, his friends, his stupid, exciting misadventures…

Whatever, who cares what that wannabe psychiatrist has to say. Whatever's between me and Stan, I'll settle it with him. Face to face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I've decided to add another perspective and a new character, Dr. Francine Nixon. We'll also be seeing Shelly's rehabilitation process. Don't worry, it will still be mainly focus on Stan and Kyle. Speaking of which, next time we'll be going back to our broken duo.
> 
> Sorry for the short chapter, this was a last minute inclusion and Shelly's character is a lot harder to write for than I thought so sorry if she's a little OOC. Please let me know what you guys think.
> 
> As always, feel free to check out the drama this story's based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS


	15. When It Falls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan and Eric’s visit to Sharon ends with Stan receiving some bad news. Kyle couldn’t save Charlie a second time.

**Stan's POV**

Its Friday again, which mean Cartman and I are gonna go see my mom. I'm waiting in front of my place for Cartman to pick me up. Where is he? He's 15 minutes late. My frustrations lead me back to what happened yesterday. Wendy blowing up at me for no real reason. I mean, I saved Tweek's life. That's a good thing. So why am I in the fucking doghouse for that?!

I finally see Cartman's red car turn the corner, he pulls up to me and I hop into the front seat. My frustration must be showing on my face pretty bad since Cartman actually raises an eyebrow and looks at me in confusion.

"Woah, what crawl up your ass and died?"

"Nothing, Wendy's just being a bitch."

"Meh, I don't even know why you stay with that ho if you hate her so much." He shrugs, "What's caused the sand in her vagina this time?"

"I don't know, she was upset that I saved someone then I think she got upset about me and Kyle… Speaking of which, you knew he was gonna be on the show, did you?"

"Of course, you one-tracked dumbass."

"Why didn't you tell me?!"

"If I did, would you have done it?"

"Fuck you, man."

"Whatever, the important thing is that you're now part of the BC Live's radio line-up." Of course, he doesn't care about what I have to say. Typical Cartman. "And was it that bad seeing that jewfag again? I mean you're still alive."

"How could you throw me under the bus like that? Do you have any idea how awkward that was?!" I scream in frustration.

"Clearly, seeing your performance on that podcast." He scoffs.

I stop talking, wanting to ignore him the rest of the way. He seems to catch up on it and turns his attention to the road, I hear his phone buzzing like crazy. He's been texting a lot lately, but it might be another gig he's setting up, he's gotten a lot of them for me for the past month. Or maybe he's convinced some poor chick to let him bang her, I don't know or care.

I turn my thoughts to what happened this week. That awkward reunion with Kyle and Kenny, almost getting killed to save Tweek, that argument with Wendy.

Man, what a way to kick off a semester. I wonder why Kyle doesn't want to see me, is he mad at me? Why should he be mad? I'm the one who was abandoned and left behind!

We arrived at my mom's place, a simple home just like the one back in South Park, only in beige and not green. I enter the house to find my mom cleaning again, and not just your typical mom-keeps-the-house-tidy cleaning, it's more like a welcoming-important-guest cleaning. Cartman and I just stand there in shock as we watch her vacuum the couch.

"Oh, Stanley, Eric. So nice of you to come today."

"Hey mom… What's the occasion?" Last I check mom didn't clean so much when Cartman came around.

"Umm… Stan, you might not like this but, it's your sister. She will be allowed back out by next month."

…

…

…WHAT?!

"WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! You mean to tell me that Shelly is actually finishing her sentence?! How long have you known about this?"

"Stan…"

"HOW LONG?!"

"About two months now. Stan I've been trying to convince you to speak to your sister again."

"You know damn well why I don't. She's crazy! She stabbed a knife into my shoulder on my 16th birthday!"

"Stan, I know I'm not a great mother and I really want both my children to be happy together. Shelly's been changing, I've been to seen her. She looks calmer now, even her psychiatrist has agreed to continue helping her."

"Mom, don't do this to me. Please."

"Stanley, she's coming out no matter what. I don't expect you to forgive her, just try and get along."

"I won't make any promises, and I won't come over if she's staying here."

"Stanley…"

"Can we just move our meetings outside for now?"

"Alright, at least until you're comfortable around her again."

Sharon Marsh, forever the optimist. I really have no choice when it comes to my mom. I nod and we take our leave. Knowing her, she'll be spending the whole day cleaning and she won't want anyone going in and messing up her work.

I get back in the car with Cartman, wearing a thoughtful blank expression. The ride back is silent, neither one of us want to talk about what happened and what we heard. It's just the sound of the radio and the thoughts in my head.

Shelly's coming out. She's actually coming back home after almost 3 years. Would she still try to hurt me? Mom said that she changed, was it an act? Am I safe anymore?

I can't think straight anymore. I told myself I'd stop drinking so much, but tonight I'll just go somewhere and drink until I forget that today even happened.

* * *

**Kyle's POV**

It's been about 2 days since I left the hospital after my diabetic fallout, a future reminder to always eat even after Kenny promises supper after his gigs.

I decide that Saturday's a good day to go see Charlie. The nurses have informed me that some of her abusive family members have tried to come in like Danny but security has forced them away. I'm really worried about her now. Her family doing this to her even at a hospital even when she's on suicide watch, I can't imagine what's going on in her head now.

As I arrive at the hospital, I hear shouting. At the reception area, there's a doctor shouting at a sea of people. Actually, her gaze seems to be focused on one particular pair, a woman and a smaller figure next to her, her child maybe?

"Mrs. Baxton, wait!"

Baxton? ...Charlie?!

"Charlie!" I shout, the woman turns to me in shock. I recognize her, that's Charlie's mom. She seems to recognize me too and she pulls Charlie out the door and flags down a cab before I'm out of my shock and pursue them with the doctor.

They get into the cab and drive off before we could catch them. Before they leave, I manage to catch a glimpse of Charlie's eyes. Cold, distant, hopeless, just like the night I first met her.

The cab soon disappears from our sight and I turn to the doctor, fuming over what just happened.

"How could you let her go back with them?!" I face her, my eyes shooting daggers at her but she seems unfazed.

"Don't think you're any more upset about this than I am!" She glares at me, "I let one of my patient get dragged back into the lion's den."

"Your patient?" I soften my glare, "But you're not her doctor." I met Charlie's doctors during my visits and she definitely isn't one of them.

"I'm not allowed to be, but I've been following her case." Her tone softens along with her expression, her face now showing distress and thought.

Not allowed?

"Who are you?" I ask curiously.

"My name is Francisca Nixon. And yes, I'm not allowed because the woman that took that poor girl is my sister." She sighs. Oh, well now I feel like a dick for blowing up at her.

"Oh, I'm Kyle Broflovski." I offer my hand awkwardly as I avoid her gaze.

She accepts the offer and shakes my hand, "I know, you saved my niece."

"How did this happen?"

"Since you last came, Charlotte's been getting worse. We've managed to stop her family except her mom from coming, but that's only after a few more punches and bruises. She became quiet and distant, just like when you saw her just now.

"Can't we go get Charlie back? She won't make it with her family abusing her like that." My concern growing at the thought of Charlie back in the hands of those mind-breaking monsters.

"I'll inform the police but I doubt they'll take her back to their place."

"Anything I can do?"

"Sorry, kid but there's nothing much we both can do until we find Charlie."

I'm furious, I want to scream. I want to break something. I want to yell at whatever cosmic being let Charlie get taken back to that horrible hellhole.

But that won't help, Dr. Nixon is right, the important thing now is to get Charlie back in one piece. I leave my contacts with her and say my goodbyes. I get back to my car, starting my drive home, feeling worse than I have in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shelly's coming back and Stan is freaking out, Charlie's been taken and Kyle is worried sick. Yup, shit's hitting the fan this time. Next time, we see how Stan is dealing with the news.
> 
> I hope you all here on AO3 are enjoying this. I especially want to thank Mekabella21 for being so awesome with the feedback.
> 
> As always, feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	16. A Late Night Drink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan goes out to drink and meets up with a friend. Shelly continues with her weekly sessions with Dr. Nixon.

**Stan's POV**

Well, I kept to my word, the first and last thing I remember to this point was Cartman dropping me off home before I walked out to the closest bar, the one great thing about this bar is that they don’t fucking care about who they’re handing the liquor to, as long as you have the greens they won’t ask questions.

I don’t even remember how many I drank or how I got here but now I’m sitting under a bridge downing bottles of beer that past me must have bought from some store along the way, or maybe he got it from the beer.

“6 bottles of beer in 20 minutes… that has to be some new record.” I hear a voice to my right, I turn to face the voice but I can’t make out their face. I think the booze are messing with my vision. I focus harder to get a better look at the face next to mine.

The person is a kid, he’s got the same hair I had when I was a kid with a pair of dark cyan eyes.

“Oh it’s you.”

“Hey, I have a name you know.”

“Do I know?” I joke and put my hand out. “I don’t think we’ve met, my name is Stan Marsh, 18-year-old internet sensation.”

He rolls his eyes and plays along. “Name’s Z. 13-year-old 7th grader.”

“Z is not a name, Zac.” I scoff.

“It’s a nickname.” He defends his nickname, folding his arms against his chest. Just that move reminds me so much of Kyle.

“Whatever, man.” I turn my attention back to the bottle I’ve been nursing.

“So, what’s got you so determined to get wasted?” He asks as he sits next to me.

“My sister.”

“The one who attacked you?”

“Only got the one, yeah. Anyways, her sentence is almost done.”

“So… she coming back out?”

“Yup.”

“Oh…wow, I’m surprised you’re not ripping your hair out.”

“I’m not gonna hurt myself because of her. Fuck her. Fuck everything.” I take another swig before asking him. “What are you doing out here?”

“You’re not the only one with family issues, man.”

“Your stepbrother again?” I ask in concern.

“Ugh, I hate him so much.” He grunts in frustration and pouts. “He thinks he can do whatever he wants and my mom doesn’t even do anything to stop him. ‘No mom, of course I was fucking clumsy enough to fall down the stairs and give myself a black eye.’ Stupid family.”

 “Believe me, parents are really dense. My parents didn’t give a shit about me when she dropped a piano on my head or set me on fire.”

“Seriously?! Holy shit, how are you still alive?” His eyes widen in disbelief, I wonder if that will happen to everyone I tell this to.

“I’m from South Park.” I honestly think that’s the only explaination.

He shrugs and grabs a bottle next to me and starts drinking. I’d be surprised if this was the first time we were doing this but it’s not and he holds his drinks down pretty well.

“You know, most people wouldn’t be happy with a 13 year old drinking under a bridge with a college kid.” I remark as I toss my empty bottle away.

 “Meh.” He shrugs again. “Hey can I ask you something?”

“Sure, Z.”

“Ok, so you know how you’ve got a girlfriend?”

“Last I check, yes. I have a girlfriend and she is currently sharing my apartment.” I look at him to see him in thought, eyebrows knitted with his nose scrunched up a bit, like he’s trying to formulate his next few words.

“Got any tips? You know, to get her to like you?” He looks up at me, hope and a bit of desperation in his gaze.

“So, you’ve got your sights on one?” I smirk. So the kid wants a girlfriend…

“Shut up.” He blushes and turns away sharply. “Yes, I like someone and I’d prefer it get some actual advice rather than the same treatment my step brother would give me.”

“Hey, I’m nowhere as bad as that fucking tool. Ok I’ll help ya. Tell me about her.”

“Well, she lives in my neighbourhood. She has this short wavy black hair and the brightest green eyes I’ve ever seen, they remind me of spring.”

“Quite the romantic poet, if you ask me.” I snicker and he punches me in the arm, kinda like Kyle to Kenny that night.

“Well I didn’t ask you for that, just for advice.”

“You want my advice, talk to her again but hold up on the crush just yet. Get to know her so that you know that you’ll confessing to the same girl you’re obsessing, not some perfect illusion.”

“I’m not obsessing.” He crosses his arms and huffs.

“Whatever you say. I know a lovesick puppy when I see one.”

“Well I know what a drunk retard looks like too, come on. Let’s get you back.” He says in exasperation, he pulls me up and we start walking away from the bridge and the mountain of glass bottles we left behind.

* * *

**Shelly’s POV**

“Great to see you again, Shelly.” Dr. Nixion greets me as the guard brings me into the meeting room.

“Hello… Francine.” She smiles brightly, as if no one has ever said her fucking name before. I refrain myself from pulling my eyes and take my usual seat.

“I want to talk more about my family” I say, her head snaps up to me so fast I bet she has vertigo now.

She looks shocked, like someone just give her water for the first time.

“Go ahead.” She gestures with her pen on the paper of her notepad in prime writing position.       

“So after my brother’s 10th birthday, our parents got a divorce.” I start. “This wasn’t the first divorce they’ve gotten so we figured we’d be back in South Park in about 2 weeks. 2 weeks passed by, then 2 months and around half a year from then, I finally realized that we aren’t going back. Denver was our home and this was our life now. I didn’t think much of it at first, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but South Park’s a really fucking weird town.”

She nods to acknowledge what I’m saying as the sound of scribbling fills the room.

I continue. “But once you’re used to weirdness, normal…feels wrong. Nothing was the same and I felt really out of place. Mom was so busy working and dealing with her own baggage while my brother was drinking himself to an early grave. I had no one. So… maybe you were right, maybe I _was_ lonely and I was desperate for attention.”

She stops writing for the first time and looks up at me. “You said your mom was dealing with her own baggage, did you feel any emotional stress from the divorce?”

“Fuck no.” I exclaim. “I saw this coming for a long time. Mom’s neglectful but my dad’s a selfish moron, but the divorce wasn’t the only baggage she had.”

“Did something happen while you were in Denver?” She continues digging.

“Stan happened. Or more specifically, his stupid alcoholism.” I begin to feel agitated talking about him. “Around the age of 12, my brother was diagnosed to be a full blown alcoholic, just like his fucking dad. Mom spent some much time crying over that, calling herself a bad mom for not noticing this.”

“That got me mad, not for what she said but for only noticing it when it affects Stan. What about me?!” I shout, I then realize what I just did and sit back down, trying to calm myself down. I’ll be leaving soon. I don’t want the guards to think I’m ‘too unstable to function in society’.

“I’m done for the week.” She nods in understanding and closes her notebook. I sigh in relief.

“Ok, Shelly. I’m glad you’re willing to talk about this. Opening up to these feelings will help you in the long run.”

Will it? I just feel angry that the memories I just dug up as well as that outburst, I have to maintain a good image. I have to convince them that I’m ready.

I have to get out of this place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was a bit of an exposition dump, a little insight to what happened to the Marshes during those 8 years. Also introducing the last OC for this story, Z. I hope he sounds like a cute kid, I tried to make him kind of like the South Park kids, innocent, a bit mature for their age and a complete smartass.
> 
> Thanks a lot for all the support you guys are giving this story. This really motivates me to keep writing and all the comments and love will not go unnoticed, Loves.
> 
> Bonus points if you can guess where the title for this and the last chapter come from. Hint, last chapter's is the name of a song from a show I love and this chapter's is a creation for a certain horror game.
> 
> Anyways, as always if you like this story, feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	17. The Next Step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cartman give Stan a plan as to what to do next while the boys spend some time talking on a casual weekend.

**Stan's POV**

What day is it today? I lost track. I wake up with a splitting headache, passed out on the bed with a note on my face. I groan as I tear the sticky note off to read it. If you've ever tried reading with a hangover, you'll know it's almost impossible but I focus enough to get a good read on some of the words. With the bit I got, I piece that it's from Wendy, probably mad that I got drunk off my ass again.

Why did I do that again? What happened?

Let's see, Cartman picked me up and we went to my mom's place, she didn't let us in because she was cleaning… Fuck, Shelly.

Everything makes sense now, Shelly's coming out after so many years of prison. I guess that whole drink till I forget worked for about 20 minutes and honestly I'd rather not do that again just for 20 minutes of ignorance.

Suddenly, I hear footsteps, figuring it's probably Wendy, walking around with her disapproval glare. I've gotten it so many times that I decide to not care.

But I get up and go to the living room to greet her. To my surprise, it's Cartman on my couch.

"Leave me alone, fatass." I grunt, I'm in too much pain to deal with his shit now.

"Chill, I'm here to help. You've been out for a day. It's Sunday morning now." It's been 2 days?! Ok, passing out for a whole day plus a head-splitting hangover is definitely not worth those 20 minutes.

"I know you're probably hungover so I told the bitch to get out of the house and leave it to me to take care of you."

"Why do you care? Shelly's probably out on her way, thinking of how she's gonna make up for 3 years of beating the shit out of me for putting her in jail." I feel shivers going up and down my spine at the thought of what Shelly might have in plan for me. It gets worse when I realize that she might have some sadistic torture that I couldn't even come up with. I think I'm two steps away from an asthma attack.

He tries to calm me down. "Woah, Stan calm down. I don't know what to do if you had an attack."

Once I stop wheezing, we sit down and Cartman starts talking, "I know I'm not the nicest guy around, Stan. But I do understand why you're freaking out over Shelly. If you're that paranoid, you can just move. I've found a place for you to stay and-"

"Wait." I cut him off. " _You_ , Eric Cartman, are concerned for _my_ wellbeing and cared enough to look for a place for _me_ to stay? Now I know the world's going to end."

"Look, hippie. Do you want the help or not?" He rolls his eyes and asks.

"Uh, sure. Where is it?" I don't know why he's being so nice to me, but it's Cartman. It's probably best not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"It's a house, just outside of campus. I managed to get it for you at a pretty low price. Consider it a gift."

"Wait, you bought it?! With what money?"

"Well, anyone will give up for the right price. Apparently Mrs. Thompson values her cats more than that house."

"Ok…" Like I said before, Cartman's pretty fucked up.

"You wouldn't be living alone though, you'll be with 3 other housemates." He informs me. "With you being so trigger happy, it's probably safer than an empty house."

"Uhh, thanks, Cartman." It feels weird, being in Cartman's debt from an act of concern and kindness.

"There's another reason I picked that place, guess who your housemates are."

"Who? I don't know who…" I start thinking about who it could be, then it hit me. "Wait, seriously?!"

"Hey, you want your Jew back or not?"

"Cartman, I don't know if I should punch you or hug you right now."

“Eww! Don’t get your faggy germs on me.” He jumps away from me like I really do have some deadly virus but right now I’m too shocked to care. “I’ll get your ho to stay with her friends.”

"Dude, I can't thank you enough for what you're doing right now." I never thought I would say those words with honesty and yet here am I, actually grateful to Eric Cartman. "I'm sorry that I've been giving you a hard time, it's just hard to deal with all the shit in my life right now."

"Don't mention it, hippie." He says in a very serious and somewhat threatening tone. "Seriouslah don't. It would ruin my badass rep and I need people to respect my authoritah."

* * *

**Kyle's POV**

"Morning, Kyle. How're you feeling?"

"Hey, Tweek. I still feel like shit. Working on that assignment plus studying. Ugh… Can you make me a hazelnut latte?"

"Take that two, Tweeky."

"Sup, Kenny?" I groan, I need my caffeine to function.

"Guys, did you hear about Mrs. Thompson?"

"N-no, what happened? Oh geez, she's not gonna raise our rent. Is she?"

"That's the thing, she's not our landlord anymore, she moved!"

"Seriously? Talk about sudden."

"I know, I just found out from the mail that she sold it to someone and that they're moving in here."

"Wait! What happens to us?" I ask. Are they gonna kick us out? They shouldn't be able to do that, right? I mean we signed a contract.

"Well, luckily whoever it is doesn't mind 3 college guys living with them so we're safe."

"Do you think they're students from the university?" Tweek pipes in.

"Well whoever it is should be moving in this week. Do you think they'll be up for a quick round?" Kenny says with a smirk and glossy eyes.

"Kenny, does your brain ever stop thinking about sex?" I say to him blatantly

"I can't help it, dude. I've practically eye-fucked everyone I've seen to this point."

"Oh geez!" Tweek exclaims.

"Eww, sick Kenny!" I scrunch my face in disgust. I did not need to know that.

"Hey, you asked. All I'm seeing is that it might be nice to get some new eye candy." He shrugs then turns the focus onto poor Tweek. "Hey Tweeks, do you think it might be that girl who's been grinding on you that night at Styx?"

"Jezzes, why'd you bring her up?" Tweek said as his face turns red. Tweek's pretty shy when it comes to sharing his encounters but then again, the only one who's loud and proud about it is Kenny.

"Aw come on, it's been a while since you got some attention and you didn't share." Kenny whines, he sounds like a baby who got his toy taken away. Tweek just looks perplexed

"Oh geez, I don't know." He starts to twitch a bit, typical when he's nervous. "The place was dark and I'm pretty sure she was drunk."

"Didn't stop her from trying to french you though." Kenny winks and Tweek's face turns redder.

"Kenny, knock it off." I decide to step in and end Tweek's misery. "But it would help if you remembered something about her. I know you've been looking for her." I remark.

"WHAT?!" Wait, he seriously thought he was being sneaky around campus, glancing at girls around campus and the not-so-subtle mumbling about the next place to look for her?

"Please, whenever you're not at work or home, you're on campus looking at the girls there."

"Wait, Tweek's been shopping for his drunken date and didn't invite me?!" Kenny shouts, he looks at Tweek like he had just committed the biggest sin of all time. "Tweek, I thought we were bros."

"So spill, Tweek." I ask him teasingly. "Who is she?"

"I don't know, It was so dark there that I could barely see her. The one thing I do remember was her eyes, it was so beautiful. Silver grey, light reflecting it like a mirror."

"Dude, you've got it bad." I snicker at his lovey-dovey look, looks like cupid left his mark on Tweek alright.

Kenny chuckles and takes our dishes to the sink, Tweek taps my shoulder and he seems like he's got something on his mind.

"Kyle, I need to tell you something. Earlier this week, I saw Bebe around campus." Tweek whispers softly.

"Bebe Stevens? Oh god, do you think Kenny knows she's here?"

"Yes, I do." Kenny's voice rings from behind us.

"Kenny!" We jump after his sudden intrusion into our private conversation.

"Just a heads up, the whole whispering in behind someone's back while they're in the room thing, that doesn't work." He says, looking at us like the dumbasses we are.

"Uhh…" We stutter, trying to defuse the suddenly awkward confrontation.

"Don't worry about Bebe." He assures us. "We're history now. I don't need to avoid her like some pissy ex-boyfriend."

"Ok then, I was so worried you weren't gonna be cool about it." Tweek lets out a sigh of relief

"What you talking about, Tweeks? I'm always cool." He says with a light chuckle. He might seem OK to Tweek but Tweek didn't know him since pre-K.

After Tweek leaves the room, I approach him and ask him cautiously. "Kenny, dude. You seriously OK with it?"

"Look, Kyle. You deal with your relationship issues and I'll deal with mine." He says sharply.

"Don't be a dick, dude. I just want to help. You're not alone." I feel my anger boiling, I don't really want to get into a fight with him over this.

"Maybe I'm better dealing with it alone!" He snaps, then his expression shifts to remorse when he notices my astonished expression. "Ok, sorry for blowing up like that. I'm cool… I'm cool. I just didn't think I'd see her once we made it out of South Park." He admits.

"Like I said, you're not alone. Just… well, you know we'll be here for you right."

"Ok, Ok. You don't have to get all gay with me."

"Hey, that's an act of discrimination towards homosexual." I say, making my voice sound like our stupid PC principal from South Park Elementary. God, I hated that guy. He actually made me miss Principal Victoria.

He laughs at the memory and looks at me with earnest eyes. "I'll be fine. I've dealt with worse. Literally." He says in a lax tone, I know what he means but this isn't like his self-proclaimed curse, but I know better than to push Kenny.

It might be ironic that he has his shit together better than any of us since he had the roughest start. I know how tough Kenny's life is since he was not only the guardian angel for his sister Karen, but also the town of South Park as the masked hero, Mysterion. But because of that, Kenny's someone you can always count on. He's be there for you and you can always rely on him.

I just wish he knew that there are people he could rely and count on too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, this is happening. Everything's set in place, so let's the show on the road. Next time, we see what happens the aftermath of Stan's actions cx
> 
> I'll let you know something, no chapter in this story is purely exposition. Everything (other than my little silly references to South Park) has a purpose to push the plot forward, little or large. Just keep that in mind
> 
> Unfortunately, due to the semester starting again I will not be able to release 2 chapters a week anymore. So I'll return back to my once a week schedule with a chapter now every Friday.
> 
> Thanks again for all your comments and support, reading them is a blast for me c:
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	18. Howdy Roomie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan moving in with Kyle, Kenny and Tweek

**Kyle's POV**

Tweek and I have classes today, Wednesdays are the only days where Tweek and I drive to campus together. Ever since that accident, Tweek's parents kinda reconsidered letting him keep the car if that was what he was capable of, leaving the three of us to share my car now.

Tweek and Kenny have to use it to get to work so I being the nice guy let them use it while I normally take the bus to school, kinda like when I was a kid.

"So, you have any luck on finding your silver-eyed beauty?" I ask him a little while after dropping Kenny off to work.

"Oh god, do you two really have to call her that?" He groans with his hands over his face. "And no, I'm not even sure if she goes to Boulder."

"Well, if it turns out she doesn't, we can always go back to Styx to find her if she means so much."

"It's not just that she 'means so much to me', it's more like… Urgh, I don't know how to explain it. You don't understand, Kyle. No one's ever danced with me like _that_ before, even drunk. It felt so good to not have to worry about being in control or making the first move."

"No, I think I do." I say dejected and Tweek starts to panic, seeing how he stuck a nerve.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I know your problems with…"

"Its fine, Tweek." I give him a reassuring smile, I know what he meant and I'm glad that he feels this strongly for someone.

"Have you heard anything about that girl Charlie yet?"

"No, last I heard was her aunt telling me that she found her sister, but no Charlie. I think she escaped. So I guess it's a good thing… I just wish I knew that she was ok." I sigh, Dr. Nixon's news should make me feel better but I can't stop worrying how she's dealing with it all, being alone in the cold autumn winds.

We split up and head to our classes. My other classes are pretty dull, just like high school but Psychology just really fascinates me, I love the scientific explanations about the workings of the mind, the breakthroughs people have made and the evolution of psychiatric treatment. Today she mentions a bit about mental disorders, mainly about depression.

It's hard to pay attention in class when that topic reminds me of 2 of my friends, Charlie who looks so broken, I'm not sure if she'll make it on her own; and Stan who's cynicism reminded me a bit of depression, I know it's not the same but the way he just disregarded everything as shit when we were kids made me make that connection. Thankfully he looks a lot better than he did better.

Maybe if he wanted to, we can try being friends again.

I sigh at the thought of us being close again, I shouldn't get my hopes up. I abandoned him, he has every right to be mad at me.

Hell, I did it again when I left the hospital that day, I want to believe that we can be friends again but what he said to me when I tried to talk to him when I was 12 makes me think otherwise, it make me so mad that he could just switch between hot and cold whenever he feels like it.

Who's to say he won't lash out at me again?

Who's to say he isn't just playing me?

After class, I decide to walk back to clear my mind. A bus ride is much faster but it's not impossible to walk, it's times like these that I miss South Park, Everything was so close to each other.

20 minutes of walking and I arrive at the front gate, I rush into the house then to my own room and take off my wet coat and hat, letting them make their home on the floor. Cold, windy weather and a long walk doesn't seem like such a smart move now that I think about it. I make my way to the bathroom, a nice shower and a relaxing nap bundled up in bed. Now that sounds like a great way to spend the afternoon.

Just as I'm drying my hair, I hear a knock at the door. "Kenny! Get the door!" I get no response. That's weird, Kenny usually gets back around now to get ready for his DJ session at 8. Looks like I'll have to get it.

I slip on my sleep wear I brought in with me, the warm feeling and steam from the showers still making me feel a little dazed as I walk down the stairs to the door, "Who is it?" I ask.

"It's your new housemate." Crap, it's today?! I'm not gonna give the best first impression with a wet head in PJs, I'd go up and change if I hadn't experienced the weather, no one should have to wait through that.

I try and make myself somewhat presentable, take a deep breath and put on a welcoming smile. "Hey, sorry about that…" I feel my jaw hit the ground. I stare that person right in the eye, those azure blue eyes that takes the breath out of me.

* * *

 

**Stan's POV**

The look on his face when he finds out who his new housemate is, man I wish I could take a picture of it. I must have disturbed him in the shower or something, his hair's still wet, his cheeks flushed from the steam and heat radiated from off him. He finally calms down from his shock and starts talking again.

"S-Stan? What are you doing here?" He asks with a stuttering stupefied expression

"I told you, I'm your new housemate." I said matter-of-factly. "I'll be living here from now on."

"Are you sure you've got the right house?" He asks again hesitantly.

"Yup, this was Ms. Thompson's place, right?"

I hand him a piece of paper with the address on it, he takes one good look and tenses up a bit. I know he might not want to see me, but he straight up looks scared of me, like I'm such ruthless hunter cornering a helpless prey.

He suddenly looks at me with that look, the look he gives when he comes up with something or figures something out.

"Wait, Kenny told me that the person moving in bought this place from Ms. Thompson. THAT WAS YOU?!"

"Kinda, Cartman pulled some strings and you know him. I don't wanna know what he did it to-"

"CARTMAN?! As in Eric Theodore Cartman?" He screams so loudly I'm surprise no one look out to check. "As in the racist fatass that we grew up with?"

"The same one, and as fucked up as ever." I nod, much to Kyle's detest.

"Christ, I thought I was rid of him once he moved out of South Park. He's not moving in too, is he?" He asks warily.

"No, it's just me."

"Hey, hey, Kyle. Guess who's back?" Kenny shouts as he makes it to the front gate, he seems shocked that I'm here too.

Doesn't anyone know that I am moving in?

"Ahem." He clears his throat awkwardly. "Hey there Stan, you're moving in with us?"

"Yeah, did no one know?"

"Uhh… Let me show you to your room. Kyle, help Stan move his stuff in." Kenny brings me into the house and I take a good look at the place.

Damn, this is way better than my apartment back in Denver. How much did they have to pay for this? I follow him up the stair and he stands in front of a door.

"Ok, Stan. This is your room. Tweek's room's next door and Kyle's is the one at the corner, next to the stairs. I stay in the basement, Tweek didn't want it, something about underwear gnomes getting to him if he was underground. Plus, I doubt you guys would appreciate the noise."

"Uhh… Thanks Kenny." I open the door and we enter the master bedroom, it's well furbished with a dresser, a desk and chair along with a king-sized bed.

"So are there any rules I need to know about?" I ask.

"A few, Kyle puts a sign on his door when he's studying so don't bug him unless it's important, I bring people back sometimes so don't be too surprised to see random guys or chicks in the morning."

"You're bi?" I raise an eyebrow, I guess I shouldn't be so skeptical. He has been known as kind of a whore when we were kids and I turned out liking both.

"Pan, you cool with that?"

"Hey I'm cool, I play for both teams too." I shrug, he smiles and gives me a fist bump.

"Nice, anyways Tweek doesn't let anyone touch his coffee machine so try not to fuck with it and just ask him if you want any. We have a sticker system for food, green for Kyle, brown for Tweek and orange for me. Don't touch the food that doesn't have your sticker and any food that doesn't have a sticker on it is free for all. We'll get you a colour once you've settled in."

"Kenny, I need to know…about Kyle-" I start but I immediately get cut off from Kyle yelling.

"Stan, what did you packed in here?!"

"Gah! Slow down Kyle. I don't want to break his stuff!" I hear Tweek cry behind him, I guess he's helping Kyle.

"Tweek. You're not gonna drop it." Kyle says as they enter the room, they put the stuff they moved up next to the door and move to where Kenny's standing.

"Oh yeah, uh Tweek has something he has been wanting to say." Kenny nudges him forward. "Go ahead, buddy."

"Hey, Stan. Sorry about what happened at the club that day." He says with a shaky voice and a few twitches.

"Oh…" He's still hung up on that? I almost forgot about that. "It's cool Tweek." I assure him.

Tweek shifts around awkwardly before leaving with Kenny, leaving Kyle and me in the room. Well this is familiar…

"Kyle?" I start, and now I just realized that I have no idea what I want to say to him.

"Look, I'm sorry. Ok? I need to go" He shifts around uneasily, inching slowly to the door.

"Dude, I'm not mad about the club incident." I try to walk closer to him but with every step I take, he takes another one back away from me.

"No- I've just… I'm gonna go." That's the last thing he says before bolting out the door.

"Kyle! Don't run away from me!" I shout as I go after him.

Great, first day here and we're already acting like girls on their periods. I hope this works out, otherwise this is gonna be one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

* * *

**Kenny's POV**

As soon as I make it out of the room with Tweek, I get on the phone and I dial his number.

"Cartman! What the fuck is this?!" I growl angrily into the phone

"Well hello Kinny, nice to hear your poor ass again." He replies nonchalantly. Of course, he'd know I would call. I mean this has his fingerprints all over like Cheesy Poofs

"Dude, this is your stupid plan? Have Stan move in with us? Kyle isn't ready to face him again so soon!" I feel my temper boiling through the roof, when Cartman asked me for our address and said it was essential to his plan, I should have seen this coming.

"And Jew boy is never gonna face him until you force it." He rebukes, sounds so sure of himself. "Look Kinny, I'm the mastermind here. I know what I'm doing and you will respect my authoritah."

"What is _this_ supposed to accomplish?"

"Something happened between those two that made them end their faggy relationship, push them together long enough and they'll finally get the sand out of their vaginas and make up like those skanks in high school."

I let what the fatass say sink in and you know what? It actually makes sense. After a long moment of silence, I hesitantly ask him what I probably should have asked the first time he called. "…Why?"

"What?" He responds incredulously.

"Why are you helping them?" I ask him again. "I know you hate Kyle with every disgusting fibre of your being and I doubt that you care about Stan that much."

"Look, some shit happened after I moved and believe me when I say Stan needs this, especially now more than ever."

Suddenly I hear Stan yelling, then Kyle walking out of the room and making a mad dash to his own. Stan's standing in front of Kyle's door, knocking over and over, trying to coax Kyle into talking. Eventually, the silent treatment on the other side makes Kyle's point clear as Stan walks back to his room defeated.

"Fine but this better work, Cartman." I tell him threateningly, almost reverting back to my Mysterion tone. "I am warning you, if I find out you're doing this to hurt them, I don't care how many times I'm going to hell. I will drag you down with me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, tensions are rising up. Now the boys are living together and I mean what Kyle acting the way he is, it shouldn't come as a surprise that he's trying to run away from Stan again. And this is Cartman's plan all along, whoever didn't see it coming you should go back and watch more South Park. Yes, I am aware that this might be the worst chapter name I have come up with.
> 
> Next time, we follow up on how well they're getting along together.
> 
> The feedback here is awesome, thanks so much for all those who follow this story here on AO3 and thanks to Mekabella21 for being such an awesome friend.
> 
> Anyways, as always feel free to check out the drama this is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	19. Sleepless Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan and Kyle talk about their first few weeks living together.

**Kyle's POV**

What do you do when you feel the whole world turns against you and you're not quick enough to dodge the punches? I don't fucking know but I could really use some answers.

Stan showing up at the door was the last thing I expect that day. If this was some cliché fairy tale, two old friends reuniting after separation, we should be hitting it off like nothing happened.

Well tough luck, Kyle. Life ain't a fucking fairy tale, things have been weird now that there's a new member in the house.

I wake up to see a head of raven hair at the dining table and I have to remember that this is our new housemate. He's been trying to talk to me about the most random things, like when did I get my car, how is South Park and stuff like that.

He's been acting civil but I can't help but worry when he's going to blow up at me, just like he almost did that night at Styx.

I've noticed that we don't get along as well as we used to, he tends to make a lot of noises thanks to his late night recordings and my lack of sleep and constant studying doesn't help that same temper that's gotten me in so much trouble since I was a kid.

Not to mention that he's been in his room a lot of the time, sometimes I catch him with this blank look in his eyes. Was he like this when he was living in Denver?

I've noticed a few extra things in the house, bottles to be exact. We only buy beers in the house for sports nights and the trash bag for them had gotten heavier, much heavier since he moved in. So when I find a half bottle of Whiskey under the couch cushions, I have my suspicions on what's going on.

I go up to his room to confront him, I need answers. I knock on his door and he opens the door with a dazed tired expression, "Stan, is this yours?"

He takes a moment to focus on me and the bottle I have in my hand, eyeing the bottle he asks me in a cautious yet forceful tone, "Where did you find that?"

"Answer me Stan, have you been drinking still?"

"Yes." He answers me like he just gave me the answer to 1+1. "It helps me stop seeing the world as shit. I told you this before."

"When we were 10. Stan, you've been drinking all this time?!" I almost shout at him in disbelief. "How could you do that to yourself?"

"Kyle, it's the only thing that helps. You think therapy and all that crap actually works?" He says cynically and I'm just left in gasps.

"YES!" I start shouting. I don't care who hears me now, I'm way too upset to give a fuck. "It helps, retorting to this… Stan, you're gonna get addicted to this crap, we're 18! You're gonna turn into a fucking achly before you're even legal. You told me that you didn't want to be like your dad."

"Well you were too fucking late for that!" I'm a little taken back as he starts shouting. "Where were you when I was dealing with my parents' divorce? Where were you when I was stuck in Denver, miserable from not only dealing with this shit but from that fact that my whole life just ripped itself apart and you weren't there?! You had the chance to and you left me for Cartman! This-" He shoves the bottle in my face, the amber liquid swirling around in it disgustingly. "- was the only thing that made waking up in the morning bearable."

…

I knew it.

He's still mad about that, all that polite crap was just an act. I can't blame him, but goddammit it still hurts.

"You're right. I'm sorry." I apologize with a stoic tone, trying to hide my shameful whimpers as he slams the door in my face.

I should have known, and worst of all his cynicism are still there too, just as strong as I remember it. I go back to my room and think about this. What do I do now? Even if we become friends again, can I put up with his problems again?

Of course I can…

I _should_ be able to.

That's why I wanted to be a psychiatrist, to help my friends with their issues. But bearing with it is one thing, can I stand by him as a friend this time? To not abandon him again and to stick with him?

My mind is straining from having the inner battle of the century. I want to say yes, I can stay with him this time but at the same time, I can't convince myself enough to win.

* * *

**Stan's POV**

The following days are uncomfortable to say the least. Kenny has been practically welcomed me with open arms. Tweek's still a little jittery around me, probably due to our first reintroduction. And Kyle, god Kyle.

The one reason why I'm doing this is making it his personal mission to see me as little as possible. I'm frustrated, no, frustrated doesn't even begin to sum up my annoyance to this. What did I do to deserve this? I didn't do anything wrong.

Ok, blowing up at him that night probably wasn't the smartest thing to do to the person you want to make amends with. _It_ started happening again, _it's_ been happening more often and I've been having writer's block because of _it_.

I have been drinking more to make it stop, but I guess I didn't cover my tracks well enough. Kyle found one of my bottles and started confronting me with those judgmental eyes that reminded me so much of Wendy that I just fought back. But last I check, nothing I said was wrong.

He _did_ abandoned me for Cartman, he _did_ leave me because I couldn't stop seeing the world as shit, and I _did_ risked my neck out to save him and Tweek.

But that doesn't make me feel better about how we're acting now.

Now, I'm just lying in bed, rethinking everything that led to this moment, this pathetic scenario of living with one of the most important person in my life and him not wanting anything to do with me.

I toss and turn in displeasure when I hear beeping coming from outside, I cover myself with a pillow in a miserable attempt to drown out the noise. It seemed to work in cartoons, but then again this isn't a cartoon. I get up drowsily and open the door, trying to see what cause the beeping.

Then, I see Kyle's door open, he's walking over to the windowsill where the beeping is. It seems to be a small alarm clock. He opens the cabinet below the windowsill and pulls out a candle in a small glass jar which looks similar to the one lit on the windowsill, only the one there's almost out.

He blows out the dying candle and replaces it with the fresh one, his hands clamped together in a prayer as he lights it. I walk out quietly and only when I'm next to him does he notice me.

"What's the candle for?"

"It's for Charlie." He answers me with his eyes closed, still praying.

"Oh, she's still out there. Isn't she?"

"Yeah."

"She's a tough kid, she'll pull through."

…

"She'll make it, Kyle." I reassure him. "I _know_ she will."

"Thanks… Sorry if my alarm woke you up."

"It's fine Kyle."

He doesn't say anything more, I take this chance to apologize before that fight I started does any permanent damage.

"I'm sorry about that day, I know you're just looking out for me." He nods to acknowledge that he heard me but keeps his head down in an attempt to hide his face. I relax when I see a small hidden smile appear on his face.

"Night, Stan." I hear his soft response, he whispers as if he's worried he'll wake everyone up if he goes a decibel higher.

"Good night." I mirror his expression as I walk back into my room.

Well, that was…something. That's the first real conversation I've had with him since I moved in. It's weird but it kinda makes me feel secured, like everything can be ok again. I forgot that talking with Kyle can do that, even if it's small stuff. I'm glad that we had that and I'm glad that I can be there for him.

I start smiling at the thought as I lay on my bed, allowing sleep take me into a peaceful dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's your feelgood chapter, loves. Not as beefy as the last chapter but I really liked writing this one. They haven't made up yet but they're starting to feel more comfortable around each other. Next time, we follow the boys as we go back to drama.
> 
> The title is from one of the songs in the 'It's Okay That's Love' OST. Feel free to listen to it while reading, it's one of the songs in the list I love.
> 
> I just finished this chapter and I couldn't wait to get this out to you guys. There will still be a chapter out on Friday. It's a rare occasion so don't expect out-of-schedule chapters often.
> 
> As always if you like the story, check out the drama it's based on, 'It's Okay That's Love' by SBS.
> 
> Take care, Loves


	20. Lost and Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan meets up with his mother again and he and Sue find Charlie after she escapes.

**S** **tan's POV**

This is our first Friday that my mom and I are meeting outside of her place. I enter the café to see her sipping on her mocha with a small cake, and I smile as I approach her. "Hey mom."

She puts down her cup as I take a seat. "Hi Stanley, how have you been?"

"I've been worse." Another lie, I've been lying to my mom a lot more lately. I feel like shit, tomorrow is that day Shelley comes back and I have been on edge ever since.

"Stan, I know you better than you think." Uh oh, she's getting into her 'stern mom' mode. "I know that you think she's still dangerous but I really do think she's changed. I want to see my two kids at least acting civil with each other again."

"Mom, you know I love you but please…" I'm practically begging her at this point, I don't want to think about Shelly right now. I do that enough in my nightmares. "Can we just talk about something else?"

"Ok. I'm sorry sweetie. How are you liking your new place?" Thankfully she switches to a different topic.

"It's nice, mom. It's actually much better than my old apartment in Denver."

"Well then, I better thank Eric for giving you such a nice home." She seems relieved that I'm at least liking my new home. "I heard him mentioning about other people living with you. How are they?"

Oh boy… where do I begin with that?

"Yeah, they're cool but I've been having problems with one of my housemates."

"What's the matter?"

"I've pissed him off and I want to make it up to him."

"Well, what did you do that got him upset?" Yeah, mom. Yeah I do…

"I'm not too sure but one night I blew up at him after he found one of my whiskey bottles."

"Oh, Stanley…" She sighs, I lower my head a little in shame.

"It somehow triggered my cynicism and I yelled at him for putting his nose where it doesn't belong."

"But you've been handling it so well."

"I think it's just the paranoia causing a little relapse. I'll be fine, I've done it before." I try to shrug it off but her face doesn't show the response I'm hoping for.

"I know, dear but you were so miserable back then too. I don't want to see you suffer through that phase again." She looks so grim, I hate to see her so sad.

"I'll try not to."

She takes a deep breath and says in her calmest voice, "Stan, I know you've been doing fine on your own but maybe you should see a psychiatrist too. You haven't been taking the news about Shelly well and you're looking a lot worse than next week."

Normally my stubborn self would be flat out against the idea of paying someone to listen to me bitch and trying to get me to opening myself out to them or something, but I'm tired, I'm a mess, maybe I need some help. "I'll think about it. Thanks mom."

After paying for our food, I start my drive back home when my phone starts to ring. That's weird, it's Sue.

"Hey rookie." Since my first session, she started calling me rookie. She said that putting yourself online takes guts and she respects that but now that I'm under her wing, I'm just like another other new recruit.

"Hey Sue. How was San Francisco?" I greet her.

"The film festival was awesome, family visit though, not so much. It's barely November and my parents are arguing on whether to get Christmas decorations first or Chinese New Year's decorations."

"Shit, sounds like big trouble in little China." I laugh at my own joke but I can tell Sue doesn't really appreciate it like I do, I can almost envision her eyeroll. "Anyways, what's up? I don't have a session today, right?"

"No, you don't, umm this is weird." She sounds like she's still trying to process what she's about to say. "I came back to the station today to check the schedules and there's someone here asking for Kyle but I can't reach him. I figured since you seem to know him and I can't leave her alone out in the cold."

"Uhh sure. I see what I can do, where are you at?

"At the station, try and call him and get here as fast as you can."

"All right, I'll see you in 10."

I rush back to campus and head straight to the Communications station. Sue is sitting on the arm of a bench outside the building, lying on the bench right next to her must be the person she mentioned, she looks a bit younger than me, her short black hair seems forcibly cut and uneven and her limbs are wrapped in bloody bandages made from torn rags and her pale skin covered in bruises, she looks like she's sleeping with a jacket as a cover, probably Sue's.

"Sue, is this her?" I ask as I take off my jacket and offer it to Sue. She looks like she's been sitting out in the cold, probably because she was…

"Yeah, she just showed up outside and asked for help." She accepts the jacket and drapes it over her shoulders "When I asked for a name I could call, the only thing she asked me to do was call Kyle before she passed out on me."

"I think he's out on a seminar today."

"Well shit, I can't take her to my dorm and she can't stay in the building." She then paces back and forth, contemplating on what to do before she turns to me and asks, "Stan, can she stay at your place?"

"Mine?! It's a house full of guys!" I exclaim, did she really think it's a good idea to leave a girl into a house full of dudes? Especially with one of them being Kenny? I mean I know Kenny has boundaries but still…

"Look, if you're worried about that, I'll stay there too." She just says coolly.

"Are you serious, Sue?" I look at her, hoping that she meant that sarcastically. "You called me out of nowhere because of a girl who asked for Kyle and now you want me to let you and her stay the night at my place without even asking?"

"Yeah, sounds about right." She shrugs and I just facepalm as I mumble a string of profanities, what the hell did I get myself into…

"Argh…" My thoughts of frustrations get cut off by the sound of groaning from the girl on the bench.

"Hey there, kid." Sue says in a calm, almost motherly voice. "Didn't quite get your name before you KO'd."

She looks around at her surroundings and at us. Her gaze stops at me as she looks at me intensively, like she's trying to place me.

"You're Stan Marsh." She simpers. Her voice comes out like a rough whisper, sounding raw and cracked. "I heard that song you sang for me, thank you."

"Wait, Charlotte Baxton?" Sue makes the realization just as I do, her face probably mirroring my gasped expression.

"Holy shit, you're ok." I murmur, more as a statement of fact than for confirmation. "Sue. I'll bring the car around, you get Charlotte in and we'll head back." I start running to my car.

I can't believe it, Charlotte's alive. Kyle will be so happy to see her. I pull up and help Sue lay her down in the back seat.

"How did you get here?" Sue asks as she gets into the front passenger seat.

"I ran away and I have no idea where to go. I wanted to call Kyle, he's the only one who helped me but I barely made it out with the clothes on my back, not to mention I don't know how. No address, no phone number…"

"I'll take you to him, he's living with me." I inform her.

"Thank you." She said with a sweet sincere smile, relief written all over her face.

"I'm glad you're OK, Kyle has been pretty worried about you. From what I've seen he hasn't slept properly since you disappeared."

"Wow, Stan you make it sound like Kyle's a little too 'caring' about Charlotte." I know Sue's joking about it but it somehow just rubs me the wrong way, I don't know why.

"Huh? But Kyle's gay." Charlie says with a raised brow.

"Wait what?" Both of us practically shout, I think the driver in the car next to us is giving me a strange look.

"Yeah, he told me that the night we met."

Wait, Kyle's gay? What the fuck? I'm gonna have to ask him about this later.

We make it back and we manage to help Charlotte to the living room, it might have been better if she had a bed to sleep on but I don't know if she can make it up the stair the way she is now.

Sue lays her down on the couch while I go to the kitchen to get some water for her. I see Tweek popping his head out from the stairway, I thought the house was empty but I guess all that commotion we made must have startled him.

"S-Stan? What's _ngh_ -going on?"

"Tweek, is it just you?" I look around and I don't see our other housemates. "Where's Kyle and Kenny?"

"Kyle should be back soon and Kenny's in his room, hungover."

"Stan! How long does it take to get a glass?" I hear Sue call from the living room, Tweek looks on edge to hear another voice in the house.

"Sorry." I holler back, getting back to my task.

"Guys, shut the fuck up. I'm trying to sleep." I hear Kenny groggily grumble as he comes up from the basement.

I was about to explain the situation to them when I see Sue's shrill yell, " **STAN!** "

"Coming!" I yell back. Ouch, I deal with that enough during my first few times on the job, I don't need to hear it at my home too.

The three of us make it to the living room, Tweek and Kenny stop in their track while I hand the water to Sue. The two of them sharing the same expression, shock and disbelief, except it's towards two different people.

"It's you…" They both say, Tweek's eyes on Sue while Kenny's on Charlotte.

"Wait, you guys know each other?" I look at them, their expressions still frozen on their faces.

"He helped Kyle pull me up after I almost fell." Charlie answers me, her voice sounding much better after she drank some water. She turns to Kenny and says, "I never got an introduction."

"Kenny, I _did_ died shortly after so that's why." His tone starts a bit lax but soon becomes tense and full of regret. "I heard that you were ok until your mom kidnapped you from the hospital."

"I'm OK now." She says with a smile of relief, Kenny visibly relaxes.

"How did you get here?"

"Sue found her outside the station and we brought her back here." I explain.

"Y-Your name _argh_ is Sue?" Tweek squeaks, nervousness and curiosity obvious in his trembling voice.

"Yeah, Tweek." I "You know her?"

"Wait a minute, silver eyes..." Kenny seems to be in thought before he looks like he discovers the cure of cancer. "Holy shit dude, this is the girl you danced with that night?! She's fucking hot!" He exclaims with a broad smile and a clear admiration in his tone.

Tweek turns red almost instantly and his face skews into a mix of embarrassment and frustration "Shut up, Kenny."

"Wait, that girl you guys have been talking about is my boss?!" I finally piece everything together.

"She's your boss?!" They both shout in shock again.

We hear her clearing her throat and all eyes are on her. "Ahem. Hey there, I'm right here." She puts her hand out for Tweek with a smile, just like the first time Sue and I met. "Sue Andrews, nice to meet you boys. As Stan just said that, he's one of our radio DJs that I am managing, so yes, I am technically his boss."

Tweek freezes before passing out. Everyone in the room is shocked, I don't really know what to do before Kenny pipes in.

"Ok… Sue, you keep tabs on Charlotte. Stan, call Kyle, his seminar should be over by now. I gotta get Tweek back to his room.

We nod as Kenny tends to Tweek. I don't know how but Kenny manages to pick Tweek up and put him on his back as Kenny piggybacks Tweek up the stairs.

I… have no idea what just happened. But Kenny told me to call Kyle and that's what I'm gonna do now.

* * *

**Kyle's POV **

I get a call from Stan, telling me that someone is waiting for me back at the house. I walk in, half expecting it's my mom coming to visit but I'm in shock when I realize who's on the couch.

I go over to her and give her a hug, it's real.

She's Ok.

I finally reel in the shock but it still takes me a moment or two to get my voice back. "Charlie, I'm so glad you're ok."

"I tried to come to you as soon as I got out." She apologizes with her face cradled on my shoulder, remorse laced all over her voice which still sounds raw. "I'm sorry I left."

"What happened that day?" I pull back from the hug and ask her.

"My-my mom s-said that she wants me back home and that she misses me. I really thought things might have changed but I was wrong." Poor girl, she looks like she's about to burst into tears. "I was so, _so_ _wrong._ Now they've been punishing me and her for loving me."

"Shh…It's Ok now, I'm sorry I asked." I rub her back to comfort her.

"Where were you though?" Stan suddenly interjects. "The police could only find your family and no one would say where you were."

She calms down again before answering, "Word got around that the police was called and that people were looking for me so before the police found where they kept me, they hid me in some basement, it belonged to a friend of my dad's." She almost growls in disgust. "Luckily they aren't as careful as my family, I broke out a few days ago and I realized I was in the outskirts of Denver, I didn't know where to go and I didn't know who could trust so I walked to the station, I was banking on the chance that I was far away enough from anyone who had my dad's influence and that someone in there must know you."

"That's when Sue found her and called me, we brought her here." Stan once again interjects, linking the pieces together.

She nods and looks up at me. "They've been feeding me and taking care of me, Sue even changed my bandages." She shows me her arms which have in fact been dressed very professionally, but it breaks my heart knowing she needs bandages to begin with.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't stop her in time." I apologize to her, but she just smiles at me with a hint of amusement.

"You sounds like Kenny. There was nothing you could do." She says "I don't want to think about that anymore, can I sleep for now?"

"Alright but tomorrow we've gotta work out what to do next." She nods in response and she closes her eyes.

We let Charlie sleep in the living room but Sue seems insistent on staying too, so the two of them are sharing the pull-out couch, lucky investment I guess.

Stan fills me in on what I missed before I got home as we walk back upstairs. According to him, it turns out the girl Tweek's been crushing on is Sue and he passed the fuck out in front of her. Ouch… Note to self, Tweek's gonna need some help tomorrow morning. Luckily Kenny took care of him before heading out to work.

"Kyle, what do we do?" Stan asks.

"I don't know, I doubt they'll call the police now. If they do, we can get Charlie to have them arrested for abuse."

"But what if she's got nowhere else to go?" He continues asking. "We can't let her stay for long."

"I guess we'll just have to talk it through with her tomorrow, see what she wants to do." I know what he means but right now we aren't in any position to make decisions for her. "We'll discuss this in the morning, Stan."

"Ok." He heads towards his room, he suddenly turns around sharply and looks a little awkwardly at me. "Oh, umm… Charlie said something before in the car that I wanted to ask you about. She said you were gay."

"Yeah, I'm gay. So?" I shrug.

"Oh…" He seems a little taken back, probably from my bluntness. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well you never asked and it's not like I'm hiding it." I answer nonchalantly. "I'm kinda like you, I'm pretty open about it but I'm not gonna jump to the front lines of any fucking gay pride parades."

He chuckles at the thought. "Fair enough."

With that, we head back into our rooms. I sit at my study desk, reviewing the notes from today's seminar when I hear my alarm ringing again. I get up and walk out to see Stan turning off the alarm and switching the candles.

"I saw the sign on your door, figured I'd do this for you in case you got too invested in your studies." He answers me as he puts away the blown out candle.

"Thanks."

"Don't sweat it, man."

"No, I don't just mean for this."

"Huh?" He asks in confusion and surprise.

"For taking care of Charlie too. I know we're not on the best terms right now and I've been acting like distant, but I want to thank you, Stan."

"Don't worry about it, Kyle. She's a good kid. How are you doing?"

"Me?" Now it's my turn to be shocked and confused.

"Yeah, you've been studying a lot." He explains. "I don't know how hard your classes are but I do remember you being an infamous study freak. Don't burn yourself out before mid-terms and make sure you still eat, wouldn't want another diabetic spill."

"It was just that one time and Kenny promised us dinner after his set."

"Whatever, man. Just… Remember to take care of yourself too."

"I will, thanks." I say sincerely, I never realized that even when we weren't talking he was still paying attention to me.

"Ok, you've gotten stop thanking me before you turn Canadian." He replies with a smirk.

I roll my eyes before answering, "Fine, I won't. Good night, Stan."

"Night, Kyle."

I forgot, before he turned 10 he was one of the nicest people I've ever met, Cartman and his Uncle Jimbo even called him a pussy for not wanting to hunt innocent wildlife. He was the one I could always count on, I almost forgot how nice it can feel to know someone's there for you. Kenny and Tweek are two of the coolest friends I could have but no one understood me like Stan does, no one could get me like my super best friend does, I missed that.

I've made up my mind. I'm going to help him through this, whatever's bugging him I'll stay with him till the end. I'm not running away this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Chinese New Year's for any Chinese readers out there. Yes, in case you are wondering Sue is part Caucasian and part Chinese. Charlie and Sue have now met the rest of the boys and they will play a part in the story. Stan and Kyle are slowing getting be to the way they once were. Next week, we'll follow the boys as they talk a bit about themselves.
> 
> Whoever guessed Tweek's crush, you get a free pixel cookie. Good job cx
> 
> As always, feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, 'It's Okay That's Love' by SBS.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	21. Broken Remnants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny and Charlie talk about their lives from their broken families, Stan meets up with Z to help with his issues, while Shelly meets with some confrontation.

** Kenny’s POV **

Argh… back home after work. I like clubbing and all but a job’s a job. Walking in I see someone on the couch, I guess Charlie and Sue are staying the night. As I walk pass the living room, I hear Charlie stir in her sleep. She shifts uncomfortably and her body seems to be curling inwards. I walk over to her, I know the signs of a nightmare when I see one.

“Hey, Charlie.” I said softly as I gently shake her shoulder, she groans but still doesn’t wake up.

“Hey, kid.” I try waking her again. “Relax it’s just a dream.”

Her eyes slowly open as her pupils start to focus, she asks in a groggily voice, “…Who’s there?”

“It’s me, Kenny.”

“Kenny?” She rubs her eyes as her voice starts to clear up. “What are you doing up so late?”

“Just got back from Styx, lots of work to do.”

She nods to acknowledge that she heard me but then sits in silence, I wonder if it’s got to do with that dream…

“Bad dream?” I ask.

“How can you tell?”

“Because my sister acted the same way you did when she gets nightmares.”

Karen… Man, I miss her so much. Focus, Kenny. You’re helping Charlie now. I rub my hand that on her shoulder in a comforting manner, “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t wanna.”

Charlie opens her mouth but stops herself from talking when we hear Sue stirring in the armchair next to us.

“Let’s talk outside.” I nod in response, she walks out to the patio with the blanket she was using draped over her shoulders. I go to the kitchen to prepare 2 mugs of instant hot chocolate, I figured she’d want something warm to help with the autumn chills and to help her sleep better. She accepts the mug with a smile.

Charlie takes a sip and finally sighs after a long silence, “…I dreamt that I was home again…”

“Charlie…” I understand immediately, some people wouldn’t understand that you don’t just leave everything behind even if you _could_ get away from it.

“It was horrible, a broken home.” She snaps her eyes shut at the thought, groaning at the memories. “No peace, no acceptance, no future.”

“I can kinda relate, for a while that was my life in South Park.”

“Kyle told me a bit about the times you guys had there.”

“I guess he didn’t mention much about me.”

“Other than ‘don’t be surprised if you see his corpse in the front yard’? No.”

“Well, he’s not one for revealing backstories.” I chuckle.

I take a deep breath before I start. “I’ll start from the beginning, I grew up in the poorest family in South Park, and when I say poorest I mean _poorest_. We had little to nothing more than a rusty hole-infested roof over our heads, my family was pretty fucked up. Parents’ always drinking, my brother’s hardly home and I had to do everything I could to protect my little sister and make her happy.”

“Sounds like she means a lot to you.” She comments.

“Karen is the sweetest little girl you’ll ever meet.” I sigh longingly at the memory of my baby sister. “She’s pretty shy but she has this wide eyed innocence that just makes you want to keep her safe. She was one of the reasons I never tried to left South Park until she got away from my family, I managed to get her a small apartment, it’s a tight squeeze and we both have to pay for it but I’m glad that she’s free from them. We still talk to each other but I think she still misses her guardian angel.”

“Well, you can tell her that her guardian angel’s still doing a great job. I literally won’t be alive if it weren’t for you guys.”

“No problem.”

We finish our hot drinks, but Charlie seems reluctant to go back in.

“Hey, Kenny. Stay with me for a bit. I don’t wanna go back to sleep yet.”

“Sure.” I take our mugs back put them to a side. “How are you feeling now?”

“About the dream? A bit shaken but I’ll live.”

“I meant about the whole situation.”

“Oh.” She fiddles her fingers a little. “Nervous, but relieved. It’s nice to feel safe.”

“Well don’t be afraid to come to us for help. Kyle’s not the only one you can turn to, Tweek may be a bit twitchy but he’s nice and Stan and I will always be there to help you.”

“…Kenny, can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead.”

“How did you get strong?”

“What?” I look to her in surprised confusion.

“Growing up like that can’t be easy, with the shit you had to deal with in South Park and yet you still do everything you can for Karen. How do you do it?”

“I didn’t have a choice. I was a kid too but if I was going to protect Karen, I’ve gotta learn to mature and get tough.”

“I feel so weak, they push me and I almost jumped of a building.” She clenches her fist as she fights back any tears. “They have such a strong hold on me that even when I’m here away from them, I still have thoughts of giving up. I hate that, I want to fight back, and I want to stand up for myself.”

“Charlie, everyone has their weakest moments. Everyone wants to give up one point or another, but that fact that you’re still here and that you want to fight back means a lot. You’ll make it through this and we’ll be here to help.”

“Thanks Kenny.” She turns to me and smile. “That means a lot to me.”

“Try and get some rest, we’ll need to figure out the plan in the morning. Knowing Kyle he’s probably thought of plan A, B all the way to fucking Z.”

“Yeah.”

“Good night, Kenny.”

“Night, princess.”

“Princess?” She raises an eyebrow.

“Don’t like it?”

“No… It’s nice.” She shakes her hand and smiles sweetly.

“Good to know, see ya in the morning.” We say our good-nights and I head to the basement. I felt so exhausted when I got back but now I don’t know if I can sleep at all with this giddy feeling inside me.

* * *

 

** Stan’s POV **

I wasn’t expecting a last night call to the park and yet that’s exactly what happened, Z called me on my phone and sounded really excited about something, something about him finally doing it. Reluctantly, I put on my coat and start driving to the park.

I wonder why he had to call me out in the middle of the night of all times.

I lose my train of thought when I see a figure dash across the road. I stomp on the brakes just in time before whatever that is becomes roadkill. I groan in pain at the sudden stop and the soreness from the belt stopping me from flying out the fucking windshield.

I look at the figure, it’s Z. Now using his arms to block his head and face, like that could have saved him.

“What the fuck were you thinking?! Running on the road like that.” I shout at him.

“Stan!” Z gets into my car and blissfully ignores my scolding, he looks like he’s high on adrenaline right now. “Thank god you came, I need help.”

“Woah, calm down Z.” I drop my anger and stop him from jumping off the seat. I decide to let that reckless behavior go for now, I’ll bitch about it to him later. “Now tell me what happened.”

“Oh my god, there’s so much. Where do I begin?” He takes a few deep breaths and calms down, but even then he’s got this shit eating grin on his face. “Ok…Ok, well first thing’s first, I finally stood up to him, I stood up to my stepbrother.”

That would explain all the bruises on his face and arms, I want to tell him to not fight his brother if he couldn’t hold his own but he looks so proud of himself that I couldn’t rain on his parade.

“There’s something else.” He continues. “I finally talked to her.”

“Seriously? Holy shit that’s awesome.” I congratulate him. Working up the guts to talk to a crush isn’t easy, I don’t care what anyone says.

“Yeah, she’s a little shy.” He gazes longingly into the distance. “But… I can’t stop thinking about her. She’s so beautiful, just a few says ago I was talking to her, I was looking at her soft wavy hair and I noticed a bit of red on the roots.”

“So, you think she dyed her hair black?”

“Honestly, I think I like redheads better.” He shakes his head sharply, probably trying to snap himself out of that gaze “Argh. I’m acting like some lovesick pussy.”

“Yeah, you’re getting there.” I laugh a bit to which he just rolls his eyes at me.

“Haha.” Z laughs sarcastically. “So how have you been?”

“Pretty good actually.” I answer. “You remember my best friend from South Park?”

“Oh yeah… Kyle, right?”

“Yup. I moved recently and he’s one of my housemates.”

“No way!” His eyes widen in excitement. “Dude tell me everything.”

“Nothing much to say really, I think we’ve gotten pass the awkward stage and we’re starting build our friendship back to the way it was.”

“Well it’s a start I guess. Judging by how you talk about him, you two are gonna be just fine. I’m surprised you two stopped being friends to begin with.”

“Yeah… Anyways enough about me, I know you didn’t call me out in the middle of the night just to hear me talk about Kyle. You also had a favor too, right?”

“Umm yeah…” He scratches in head awkwardly with a faint blush appearing on his cheeks. “Ok, wow this is pretty embarrassing now that I’m actually gonna do it.”

“So are you gonna ask me or am I gonna have to pull it out of your throat?” I fold my arms in mock annoyance.

“It-It’s for her, she’s a huge fan of your work and I know it’ll mean the world to her if you sing this for her.” He says it so quickly that I barely get it all, I take the paper he’s holding out for me.

“You know a name will help, Z.”

“No way!” He glares at me, not really threateningly with the pink hue on his face. “The last thing I need is to hearing her name when you rip on me.”

“Whatever.” I laugh as I look at the paper. There’s a lyric sheet for a song. “Dude, this is pretty chessy.” I say after I finish reading it.

“I know! I know!” He groans with his hands covering his face. “So… can you do it?”

“Sure thing, Romeo. Just make sure Juliet’s listening tomorrow.” I wink at him and he groans in frustration.

“Ugh, don’t call us that. Makes me feel like I’m in some cheap high school play.”

“Fine, come on. I’ll send you back home.”

I start up the car again as Z puts on his seat-belt. We talk a bit more, me to him about Kyle and him about the plans he has for his crush to which he still refuses to give me a name for. The things I do for this kid…

* * *

 

** Shelly’s POV **

 “Morning, Shelly.”

“Hello, Francine.” I figure it’d make no sense if I start calling her Dr. Nixon again after referring to her as Francine. But don’t get me wrong, this is no way makes us friends.

“How have you been doing lately?”

 “It’s been about 2 months since I’ve been released from that hellhole, honestly if you asked me the only thing different is there isn’t a guard threatening to tackle you to the ground if you stare at someone. I still go come to see you once every 2 week now and my mom has been pretty much the same, working all day then acting like she gives a shit about me when she gets back.”

“What do you mean?” She asks me with her pen spinning between her fingers. “Have you been making attempts to reconnect with your mom?”

I don’t bother responding, why should I make the first move? She was the one who’s always _so_ busy that she couldn’t spare for her goddamn kids.

“What have been doing since you’ve been released?” She tries asking something else.

“I’ve been taking a few odd jobs, not everyone wants to hire an ex-convict.” I inform her.

“You mustn’t give up hope. There are still people with prejudices but there are some agencies that can help get you on your feet.” She’s starting her hope preaching again. She sounds like one of those shitty motivation posters, the only thing I thought about it when I see them is when does that cat fall off the fucking branch.

“You’re wasting your time.” I respond with a blank glare and an annoyed tone.

“And you’re an ignorant fool if you think I didn’t see what you’re pulling.” She snaps back at me, with a clear tone of irritation.

“Excuse me?” I raise my eyebrow and fold my arms across my chest, almost challenging her as to what she means by that.

“You heard me, Shelly. I know you’re not as calm as your mother makes it sound.” She starts saying in a stern voice. “I know you still hold a lot of resentment towards her and your brother.”

“If you think I’m so unstable, then why’d you let them release me?” I scoff.

“I never said you’re a psychopath. I just said that you have some unresolved issues and you weren’t going to get better with an extended sentence. You have been able to show restraint and logical thought so don’t make me regret it.”

“And what’s gonna stop me from doing what you’re so scared of me doing?” I challenge her.

“Shelly, I took the risk for your sake.” Her face starts skewing with anger and frustration. “I have nothing to gain if you get better but your life will be worse if you choose to go after your brother. I want to help you, please just let me.”

“So what? You’re blackmailing me into receiving your ‘treatment’?”

“Listen to yourself.” She casts a look at me from the chair she’s sitting on, continuing to challenge me. “What are you going to do if you went and confronted your younger brother?”

“I don’t know!” I jump off my chair and shout. “But it’s gotta be a fuck ton more helpful than the shit you’re spitting out.”

I start staring at her so intensely that I half expect to see a hole right between her eyes and right through her know-it-all brain, she responds with a glare just as strongly. I step back away and start walking to the door.

“I’m done, send the bill to my mom or something.”

“… See you in 2 weeks, Shelly.”

“We’ll see.” That’s my last words to her before I slam the door behind me.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit's going down, Charlie is still traumatized by her family's abuse and Dr. Nixon is starting to catch on to Shelly's intentions. Next time, we follow the gang as they figure out what to do next.
> 
> Dr. Nixon isn't stupid by the way, she just wants what's best for her clients and sometimes that involves taking some risks.
> 
> Also, whoever can guess the song Z asked Stan to sing before the next chapter gets a free pixel cookie. Hint, it's part of the drama's soundtrack.
> 
> Thanks so much to people checking out my work and leaving kudos c:
> 
> As always, feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	22. Taking Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang talk about what to do next while Stan and Kyle have some issues of their own to deal with.

** Kyle’s POV **

Ok, Sunday morning, two things on my mind right now. First thing, Charlie. It’s obvious that she can’t stay here forever. I think I’ve come up with a plan, maybe I can give Dr. Nixon a call. From what I saw when I met her, she seems genuinely concerned about her niece’s wellbeing and she seems like the kind of nice and protective guardian Charlie needs right now. I’ll need to talk about this with her.

I walk down to the kitchen after getting myself cleaned and dressed for the day. Charlie, Sue and the guys are all downstairs eating breakfast, it smells amazing. Tweek must have made breakfast today.

“Morning Kyle.” Kenny greets me, the others stop their small talks to give me a few nods and smiles.

“Hey guys, what’s going on?” I ask as I take an empty seat and Stan pushes me a serving of French toast.

“Nothing much, Stan’s just bugging Tweek for boxing lesson.”

“Boxing?” I look to Stan, confused. “You never cared about fighting before.”

“It’s not for me, it’s for a friend of mine.” Stan explains. “His stepbrother’s been giving him a hard time, he’s got guts for trying to fight back, but I just wish he has the power to back it up too.”

“Stan, I can’t teach someone! I mean I just do it for fun and exercise now.”

From the side of the table I heard Sue whispering to Charlie, “With how jumpy he is, I’m surprised he knows boxing to start with.” To which Charlie giggles at Sue’s remark.

If she thinks that, then she either didn’t notice Tweek and Stan’s fight that night at Styx or she was way too drunk to remember it.

“Who is this friend of yours anyways Stan?” Kenny asks.

“His name is Zac, but he prefers Z. He’s a kid I met back 2 years ago at a gig. He came to hang with me after my session at a local café shop and we became friends”

“He likes to be called Z?” I raise an eyebrow.

“Yeah, like the letter ‘Z’.”

Huh, Ok then. “Well, Stan. Maybe bring the kid over one day and we can see what we can do for him.” I tell him and Stan seems satisfied by that

“Ok, I’ll ask him then.”

After that, we drop the topic and finish our breakfast with some light chit chat and a calm mood, we regroup back in the living room to start discussing.

“How are you feeling today, Charlie?” I ask her.

“A lot better, I still feel sore but it’ll pass.” She smiles and moves her shoulders to show it. “Thank you guys so much for letting me stay the night.”

“Our pleasure, princess.” Kenny says to her with a smile.

Since when did Kenny start calling her princess?

“So what’s now?” Tweek asks, bringing us into thought.

She looks down at her feet in contemplation. “I’m not too sure, I’m never going back to that town for as long as I breathe so I’ll have to find somewhere else to live.” Her fist clenching slighting on the clothes we lent her.

“What about your aunt?” I bring up my idea.

“You know about her?” She raise her head and looks at me. “I haven’t seen or heard from her after she got married and moved out.”

“Yeah, Francisca Nixon, right?” I ask to verify and she nods in confirmation. “She works in the hospital you were admitted in. She tried to stop your mom from taking you that day and that’s how we met.”

“Wow, I must’ve been so out of it that I didn’t even notice. I’ll go to the hospital today and see if I can find her, maybe I can ask her to let me live with her.”

“I’m sure she’ll take you in, kiddo.” Stan reassures her.

“You gonna be ok going there alone?” I ask her, I know she can take care of herself but I can’t help but worry a little, she’s like my little sister at this point.

“My family don’t know I’m here and they definitely wouldn’t think that I’d go back to the same hospital I got admitted to.” She reasons, she adds after she notices my unchanged worried expression. “I’ll be fine, I’m gonna learn how to take care for myself.” Only then do I relax a little.

“You know what?” Kenny suddenly says brightly. “We never gave Stan a formal welcoming and now with you and your life coming back together, this called for celebration!”

“Kenny...” I look at him warningly. Kenny just smirks at my reaction and laughs

“Chill, Mr. Oxford.” Kenny chuckles as he reassures me. “No keg parties, no alcohol, it will just be the 6 of us hanging out and spending the night like dumb teenagers.”

“I’d like that.” Charlie being the first on to speak up.

“Seconded.” Sue continues with her hand raised, Tweek nodding quickly after Sue.

“I’m in.” Even Stan too?

“We all cool?” Kenny looks at me hopefully and suddenly my opinion became a lot less important. I shrug in response.

If you can’t beat them, join them I guess.

“Then it’s settled.” Kenny claps his hands together in delight. “We’ll get the food and set the place up.”

Sue and Stan have gone off for Stan’s bi-weekly radio session, leaving the 3 of us at the house. Tweek seems antsy, I think he’s having a minor breakdown from seeing his drunken crush again. I’m not worried, he’s gotten a lot better than he was before and I’ve learned the difference between an attack and your typical Tweek freak-outs.

“So… I didn’t know that the girl was Sue.” I say as we clean up the living room.

“Wait, you knew her too?!” Tweek turns to me in shock.

“Yeah, she works at BC Live. I met her when I did that podcast.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t know, man. Silver eyes was all I had to go on and I didn’t pay attention to her eye colour when she told me we were going live in 5 minutes, I never really met up with her since.”

Tweek mumbles something about silver eyes and her light blue hair as he goes back upstairs. After he leaves, Kenny approaches me as I clean the coffee table.

“Hey, Kyle. I know I should have asked you this a long time ago but are you Ok?”

“In what sense?”

“You know, between you and Stan.”

“Oh…” I should have known I guess, it’s only a matter of time before he asked me this. “Well I’m not sure, I know I’ve been acting distant and there’s a reason.” I contemplate on whether to tell Kenny about it but I decide it’s probably better if Kenny knew. “It’s because… I caught him drinking again.”

“Oh.” Kenny echoes with a blank expression but I can tell he’s shocked.

“I wasn’t sure if I could deal with him that way again, I didn’t want to abandon him after making up.” I continue explaining. “But now I know what to do.”

“Well what are you gonna-” Kenny starts asking before a loud tone cuts him off

It’s my phone, I excuse myself and answer the call.

“Hello?”

_“Hey, bro.”_

“Ike! Hey buddy. How’s 10th grade?” I say with a bright tone, I missed him and I haven’t heard much from him since the guys and I left South Park.

 _“Meh, it’s nothing I can’t handle_.” Lucky son of a bitch, he manages to make it to high school at the age of 13. He gets to skip so many grades for being a genius and even though he never says it, I know he’s rubbing it in my face.

“Hey, don’t get smart Ike, you didn’t have Mr. Garrison for most of your entire fucking school life.” I shudder at the thought.

After his presidency ended, he came back to South Park and some dumbass thought that he was capable enough to teach high school, I still wonder how he’s even allowed to teach to begin with. If he somehow followed us to Boulder, I’d be ready to shoot myself.

_“Ha, fair enough I guess. So how’s Boulder? I haven’t really talked to you since mom has been hogging the phone those rare times you’ve bothered calling home.”_

“I’m sorry I haven’t been calling much, a lot has happened within these few weeks.”

_“Do tell.”_

I tell him about Boulder, the classes, moving into the house, that night out in town, meeting Charlie, and lastly about the podcast. I hesitate about telling him about Stan since after he moved, Ike has been my hearing ear to all my problems. I know how he’ll respond, but I say it anyways.

“Ike, Stan’s back.”

 _“… Are you Ok?”_ I know I took it bad when Stan didn’t come back to South Park but was I that concerning?

“I’m been dealing with it pretty fine so far. I want to fix our friendship.”

 _“Has he explained himself for that time yet?”_ Again, I should have known Ike would ask this, he’s the only other person who knows about it.

“… No.” I answer. “I don’t know if he even remembers it.”

_“Let’s say he doesn’t, do you still want closure from it? It was the reason you stopped after all.”_

“I don’t know anymore.” I reply honestly. “If he really doesn’t, I’ll just try to let it go.”

_“Kyle if you’ve been able to do that, you’d done it years ago.”_

Damn it, I hate how smart he is. I want to forget it, I really do. But maybe Stan doesn’t even know that he’s not the only one hurting ever since he left. We talk a bit more before I tell Ike to say hi to mom and dad for me and hang up.

* * *

 

** Stan’s POV **

I finish the last song on my playlist for this session and start saying. “My time’s almost up. Here’s my song of the day, it’s from a good friend of mine to his little crush. This one’s for you, Z.”

I tune my guitar which I purposely bring with me to this session, I start strumming the tune that I’ve been practicing and start singing the words Z showed me

 

> Ooh, you make me live
> 
> Whatever this world can give to me
> 
> It's you, you're all I see
> 
> Ooh, you make me live now honey
> 
>  
> 
> Ooh, you make me live
> 
> Oh, you're the best friend
> 
> That I ever had
> 
> I've been with you such a long time
> 
> You're my sunshine
> 
> And I want you to know
> 
> That my feelings are true
> 
> I really love you
> 
> Oh, you're my best friend
> 
>  
> 
> Ooh, you make me live
> 
> Ooh, I've been wandering round
> 
> But I still come back to you
> 
> In rain or shine
> 
> You've stood by me girl
> 
> I'm happy at home
> 
> You're my best friend
> 
>  
> 
> Ooh, you make me live
> 
> Whenever this world is cruel to me
> 
> I got you, to help me forgive
> 
> Ooh, you make me live now honey
> 
>  
> 
> Ooh, you make me live
> 
> Oh, you're the first one
> 
> When things turn out bad
> 
> You know I'll never be lonely
> 
> You're my only one
> 
> And I love the thing
> 
> I really love the things that you do
> 
> Oh, you're my best friend
> 
>  
> 
> Oh, ooh, you make me live
> 
> I'm happy (happy at home)
> 
> You're my best friend

After I finish singing, I put down my guitar and I say to the microphone with a smile “That’s the end of my set, I’m Stan Marsh and I wish you all good day and good night.” Sue gives me a thumbs up to let me know we’re off air.

“Well done, rookie.” She pats me on the back once I exit the booth. “Eric is right. You’ve been getting better since your first session.”

“Well we’ve gotta give the people what they want.”

“Now that’s the kinda attitude I’m looking for. I’ll see you back at your place tonight.”

Well, I’ve got a few hours to kill. I might as well go see Wendy. It’s been almost 2 weeks since I’ve seen her and it is kinda my fault for that, but something inside me just doesn’t care enough to want to see her. Do I still love her? The past few months have been nothing but us arguing and I’m sick of it. Maybe… I’ll go see her and make up my mind. If I still feel nothing then maybe its best we take a break.

I start my car and leave for Bebe and Clyde’s place, thankfully I kept the address Wendy gave me. They live in a small apartment in the centre of Denver, great for living the nightlife but horrible in terms of parking. As I drive around and scan for a spot, I notice a red hummer in the apartment parking lot. Wait a minute, that’s Cartman’s car. What’s he doing here?

I give up looking for a place inside and settled for a spot outside. I dump a few quarters into the parking meter and head up to the apartment. I knock on their door to see Bebe answer the door. I haven’t seen her since 4th grade and she looks a lot different than she did when she was 10, she kinda looks like that time where all the girls but Wendy went slutty. She seems shocked, I’m not surprised seeing how this is supposed to be a surprise.

“Stan! H-hey, it’s been forever.” She starts stuttering a little before asking, did I scare her that much? “How have you been? What are you doing here?”

“Hey Bebe.” I give her a small wave. “It has been awhile, I’m here to see Wendy.”

Her shock now seemingly replaced with nervousness. “Umm…Wendy’s not in. I don’t know where she is.” She stutters as she slowly tries to close the door.

“Oh, her car’s here so she should be back soon.” I take a few steps closer to try and enter. “Can I just come in and wait for her then?”

“NO!!!” She shrieks before clearing her throat, much to my shock and confusion. “She’s-uh- not coming home for the night! She’s staying over at a friend’s place.”

“I thought you didn’t know where she is.”

“Uhh…” I see her grip on the doorknob tighten as her eyes start darting a little.

Suddenly, I hear a guy’s voice making his way to the door. I realize that it’s Clyde, Bebe’s boyfriend. “Babe, who’s at the do- STAN?!” His expression mirrors Bebe’s when he sees me at the door.

“Clyde, dude.” I greet him for the first time in 8 years. “Great to see you again. Do you know where Wendy is?”

My question meets with silence again from the couple who just keep looking at each other, seemingly at their wits’ end.

Ok this is ridiculous.

“Ok, I know that she’s here.” I cross my arms in annoyance. “What’s up?”

I get no answer again and it gets me thinking. Silence from her friends, Cartman’s car, and lack of Wendy bugging me for a date... No… It can’t be…

My eyes widen from my reasoning and it seems even more plausible with Clyde and Bebe’s jittery reactions. I clench my fist and grit my teeth, I really want to be wrong on this and I hate myself for asking this question.

“Is fat-ass here?”

Their eyes shoot open in shock for a second before they regain composure but that’s all the proof I need.

I take a deep breath before turning to Bebe. “Bebe, let me in.”

Maybe she was intimidated or guilt ridden but she opened the door and I walk into the apartment to Wendy’s room, the only locked door in this apartment. I give it 3 hard knocks, I’m kinda surprised I didn’t break a hole in the piece of wood with how loud those knocks are.

“Wendy, its Stan.” I say with a dry, serious tone. “We need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, who saw that one coming? You get a free cookie if you did and if you ask how could he do that to Stan, refer back to South Park. He's a complete piece of shit if you remember. But yeah, that happened and Kenny and Ike are both worried about how Stan and Kyle are getting along and I'd say it's going for the better so far c:
> 
> The song that Stan sings is You're My Best Friend by The Once, one of my personal favorites in the soundtrack due to a particular scene. Those who might have seen the show would know which one and you better believe that scene is gonna show up. :D
> 
> Link to the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8aUHv0Newo
> 
> The support I've been getting is amazing and it's the biggest reason I'm always so excited to get these out to you guys. Your reviews help keep me and other writers motivated.
> 
> As always, feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	23. Red Like Roses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang have a karaoke night and some buried feelings get dug back up into an ugly light.

** Stan’s POV  
**

The door opens revealing Wendy walking out of the room in a bathrobe and lingerie that I’ve never seen her wear but it had clearly seen some action. I don’t see Cartman in there and I can’t tell if it’s for the better or not. I’ll deal with the fatass later, right now I need to talk to my girlfriend.

We sit in silence at the dinner table as Bebe and Clyde are clearly peeking from their room.

“You know after all those years of dating, I wondered how we were going to end up.” I start. “I guess this is it.”

Wendy says nothing. She just has her hands on her lap with her head down, preventing me from seeing her face.

“Well.” I prod, trying to get some kind of reaction from her. “Don’t you have anything you want to say?”

“If you’d just paid attention, it wouldn’t have come to this.” She says, barely sounding like a whisper. If I hadn’t been looking for an answer, I wouldn’t have catch it.

“Yes, I’ve been sleeping with Eric.” She says with a cold, emotionless tone. “For over 3 months now. And for those 3 months, he’s cared about me more than you ever did for the past 2 years we’ve been together.”

“I rarely see you outside of your recording room and the times I do see you, we always fight.” She continues with a sigh. “I’m so tired of it, Eric helped me feel wanted and loved again, he took me out of dates and all those times I stay out late, I’ve been spending nights in his place.”

“Hell, we weren’t even that subtle about it!” She starts raising her voice, aggression slowing building as she stands up to get into my face. “We’ve been texting all the time and I’m all he ever talks about. If you had just cared about anyone else around you for once, you’d notice. You’d notice and maybe then you’d realized the mistake you made.”

I take it all in, everything Wendy has said to me. I take a deep breath before calmly saying to her. “You’re right. All this time if I had just paid attention, I’d noticed my mistake. And that was getting back together with your cheating ass.”

I walk out of the apartment, ignoring Bebe and Clyde’s awkward attempts of a goodbye and marching straight to my car. I sit in the driver’s seat with my hands clenching my steering wheel in a death grip. 

I can’t believe it, Wendy and I haven’t been on the best of terms but she’s still my girlfriend. I’ve never think that she’d be fucking Cartman behind my back, they probably fucked on the bed we’ve slept it… God that makes me sick. The two pieces of familiarity from my old life finally crumbling away together.

I see Cartman’s fucking car sitting in the parking lot. I really want to take my frustrations and put it all out onto that red hummer there.

No… It’s not worth it going to jail for that backstabbing son of a bitch. That asshole betrayed me, I’m not letting him put me down too.

I start my car and start driving, I don’t know where I’m going and I don’t care. I just want out, I just want one fucking moment of peace to keep my sanity in check.

* * *

  **Kenny’s POV**

Soon night comes around and we finish setting up the place for our private little party, personally I’d still prefer if we could have a few boozes tonight but Kyle’s a stickler for the rules and he’d never let me go if I break that promise.

Charlie comes back a few hours before Sue does, first informing us about her visit to the hospital.

“I checked the hospital and they told me that she was on leave. Her husband, Dexter has asked her to take some time off to relax from the stress. I asked the staff to call them. We talked a bit and she’s so happy that I got away from my fucked up family. I got their numbers and they said I can move in with them when they return next week.”

“That’s awesome!” Kyle says and Charlie nods in agreement.

“I hope you guys don’t mind me staying the week.” She probably feels bad for asking. She really shouldn't.

“Hey you’re welcome to crash here anytime, princess.” I assure her, she smiles at me again. I'm really starting to like seeing her like this, so happy and relaxed.

“So what's on the agenda, Lil’ Red?” Sue turns to Kyle and ask him with this smirk.

“Don’t call me that, Sue.” Kyle groans, Charlie and Tweek snickers at their interaction.

“Lil’ Red?” I raise my eyebrow. I must've missed something when I walked away to order the pizza.

“She started called me Red for obvious reasons" Kyle explains in a deadpanned tone. "I told her to stop calling me that because there was a girl in our school that’s called Red and-”

“So I called him Lil’ Red, I mean look at him,” Sue then pinches Kyle's cheek.“Ain’t he just the cutest thing?”

Kyle pulls her hand off of him and warns her, “Girl or not, Sue. I will kick your ass if you call me little or cute again.”

“Alright then, Red.” She replies with a wink, clearing disregarding Kyle's threat.

“Argh!” Kyle groans in frustration again, much to our amusement.

Kyle decides to change the topic, after looking around the room he asks, "Where's Stan? He finished his session, right? He should be back by now."

"Chill, he told me he went to see his girlfriend-" Sue says with her arm over his shoulder in a very bro-like manner. "-and if I didn't know any better, I would've guessed it was you by the way you're acting." She smirks, Kyle rolls his eyes and throws her arm off of him.

“Stan will come back when he’s good and ready." I say, then I stand up andd walk to the front of everyone. "Now we’ve got Rock Band and Kyle’s old Okama Gamesphere set up, we’ll also picked a fine selection of movies for you ladies.”

“And pizza?” Sue asks.

“Already ordered under Kyle’s credit card.”

“Wait, WHAT?!” Kyle shouts, his eyes wide with shock and disbelief.

“Dude, find a better place to hide your wallet than your top drawer.” I fold my arms in front of my chest and smirk with pride.

“DUDE!!” He screams again, face now red with frustration and anger. It's a dangerous game but it's way too much fun pushing Kyle's buttons.

“Relax, I’ll pay you back later." I promise the fuming redhead." Now, what’s first tonight?”

Charlie and Tweek shrug and Kyle turns his face away, clearly not ready to talk to me again yet. Sue says, “Meh, none of them seem fun now. You guys got Karaoke?”

“Actually, yes. Let me go set it up.”

I go and dig up a Karaoke machine that I won in a bet last month. Some retard decided to challenge me to a shot drinking contest and I won, I guess when you’re immortal, alcohol poisoning becomes less of a concern than getting drunk as fuck. 

But the guy passed out before I could get my prize so I took the guy’s machine as my prize before leaving, we didn’t set any terms so sucks for him.

Tweek and I set everything up and hand the controllers to Charlie and Sue to pick their songs.

“S-Sue, Let m-me -agh- show you a song I like.” Tweek says after the girls pick their songs.

“5 bucks says he’s gonna choose a love song.” I say to Kyle.

“20 bucks says he ain’t.”

“You’re on, Broflovski.” We shake hands behind Tweek’s back and wait for him to make his selection.

At the end, Tweek picks some song we don’t recognize so it’s up for debate who wins. We drop the bet and start selecting our playlist with each of us picking a few songs to sing, the first one goes to our guest of honor, Charlie. She picks the song ‘This Will Be the Day’.

Hearing her sing her heart out to this song is amazing, she could have picked any emo song to scream her frustrations out but instead she’s singing something powerful and inspiring.

A song warning those who doubted her that she will come back stronger to face the real world and anything that it can throw at her.

She pulls me in half-way through the chorus and hands me one of the microphones on the table. I follow her lead as we finish singing the song together, loud and proud. After it ends, I feel so pumped that I could probably take on the world if I had to.

“You guys were awesome!” Sue says in awe“I didn’t know you two could sing.”

“I took some singing classes when I was a kid.” I shrug and Charlie just giggles at the praise.

“Man, remind me to get you guys to come on the show one day.” Sue says with a gleam in her eye.

Kyle’s song is next and of course he picks some daft punk songs, we start egging on him to dance to it. Hey, when you pick a song with not that many lyrics you gotta do something else. He still can’t dance for shit but man is it fucking hilarious to watch him try.

He finishes his song with a burning glare shot right at me, to which my response is a smug smirk and a shrug.

It doesn’t matter if you’re thinking of 20 different ways to kill me right now, Kyle. You cut my boozes so I gotta get my entertainment somehow.

As I’m singing ‘Do You Wanna Know?’, I start strip-dancing on the table with my hips thrusting at them. I see Kyle fighting Sue for the remote, probably to turn it off. Sue is cheering me on while somehow managing to keep Kyle away from his prize, Charlie's looking a little red and flustered. Tweek's used to this so he just sits with mild amusement, and with a small hint of jealously? Oh man, I didn't mean to steal Sue's attention.

Just as I finish the song, Stan enters the house, looking annoyed and frustrated. He grabs a slice of pizza from the dinner table before joining us. By this point, we’ve been having so much fun, we don’t really acknowledge Stan until Sue greets him.

“Hey, rookie. Nice of you to finally join us. You can pick the next song.”

“Fine.”

“Red like Roses Part II? You sure?”

“Just start the damn song.

> I couldn't take it, couldn't stand another minute
> 
> Couldn't bear another day without you in it

I listen the lyrics and immediately stiffen, I recognize this song. I look over at Tweek to see him with the same expression. Sue and Charlie just look uncomfortable, seeing Stan act this way. Makes sense I guess, they don’t know Stan and Kyle’s history. 

> I wasn't dreaming when they told me you were gone
> 
> I was wide awake and feeling that they had to be wrong
> 
> How could you leave me when you swore that you would stay?
> 
> Now I'm trapped inside a nightmare every single f'ing day

I see Kyle starts tensing up too, feeling every word cut him. I understands why Stan chose this song but he’s acting like Kyle never regretted his actions, like Stan was the only one suffering the aftermath. I really want to punch him for that

> I know you didn't plan this
> 
> You tried to do what's right.
> 
> But in the middle of this madness
> 
> I'm the one you left to win this fight

After the chorus, Kyle suddenly stands up and takes the extra mic on the table, clenching his fist tight on the base of the mic. He looks Stan in the eye and starts singing the next verse.

(Kyle’s singing will be in italic, Stan’s will be underlined) 

> _I know you're broken down by anger and by sadness_
> 
> _You feel I left you in a world that's full of madness_
> 
> _Wish I could talk to you, if only for a minute_
> 
> _Make you understand the reasons why I did it_

It hurts seeing Kyle like this, I know why he’s singing this. He’s doing exactly what Stan’s doing, using this song to show his frustrations to his former best friend but it hurts seeing him so overwhelmed with frustration and grief, so broken that he looks like he’s gonna break the second he stops singing, and so desperate for Stan to listen to everything Kyle wants to say to him. 

> _I never planned that I would leave you there alone_
> 
> _I was sure that I would see you when I made it back home_
> 
> _And all the times I swore that it would be okay_
> 
> _Now I'm nothing but a liar, and you're thrown into the fray_
> 
>  
> 
> _This bedtime story ends with misery ever after_
> 
> _The pages are torn, and there’s no final chapter_
> 
> _I didn’t have a choice, I did what I had to do;_
> 
> _I made a sacrifice, but forced a bigger sacrifice on you_
> 
>  
> 
> _I know you've lived a nightmare_
> 
> _I caused you so much pain_

They sing the chorus and it’s almost physically painful to watch these two, they might not notice it but I do, they have the same expression. They both have something they need to say to each other but they don’t say it, whether it be out of petty anger or pride is beyond me. 

They reach the bridge and it is heartbreaking how into it they are, like they want to use the song to send the message they desperately need to get out to each other. 

> _You're not the only one who needed me; I thought you understood_
> 
> You were the one I needed, and you left me as I always feared you would
> 
> _Would I change it if I could?_
> 
> _It doesn't matter how_
> 
> _The petals scatter now_
> 
> _Every nightmare just discloses_
> 
> _It's your blood that's red like roses_
> 
> And no matter what I do
> 
> Nothing ever takes the place of you
> 
>  
> 
> _Red like roses_
> 
> _Fills my head with dreams and finds me_
> 
> _Always closer_
> 
> _To the emptiness and sadness_
> 
> _That has come to take the place of you_

The song ends and the screen of the television goes back to the selection menu. The room falls into a tense silence as all of our attention now focuses on Stan. 

Kyle looking at him, catching his breath from singing his heart out. I can tell Kyle’s looking for some kind of response on Stan’s stoic face.

Stan says nothing and just drops the microphone onto the table, walking away with Kyle trailing right behind him. The rest of us in the living room continue to sit in that awkward silence. 

It started off as such a fun night but where could we go from here?

Sue take the initiative and stands up. “Well guys, I’m gonna head back. BC Live is gonna need their leader bright and ready.”

We nod and follow her lead. We clear up the trash and clean the place back to its pre-party state. Charlie excuses herself to get ready for bed while me and Tweek show Sue to the door.

“Just… Take care of those two." Sue says "I don’t know what’s going on with them but they'll need it.”

We both give her a reassuring smile. Tweek responds, “Don’t worry, Sue.”

I continue, “We always have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stan's being kinda a dick now but if you went through what he did, you would be too. I'm not saying he's right to do that to poor Kyle but he's letting his emotions get the better of him now. Next time we'll see what Stan and Kyle get past this.
> 
> If you haven't noticed, I'm a huge fan of RWBY. The two songs here are part of the RWBY soundtrack, I recommend watching the show if you haven't and listening to these two songs.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	24. Carry On My Wayward Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan and Kyle’s argument finally lets both sides of their story out into the light.

**Stan's POV**

I walk away after singing that song, adrenaline pumping through my veins from letting out my anger on Kyle. Deep down I know I regret using him as my punching bag especially since we were starting to rebuild our lost friendship, but the betrayal I felt from Wendy and Cartman just reignite my negative feelings towards him.

I hear footstep behind me, I know Kyle's probably chasing after me. I quicken my pace to my room and put all my force onto the door, slamming it shut if it had not been stopped by Kyle.

"Stan listen to me! I'm SORRY!" That's the first thing he cries out to me. I know I'm the one being a dick here, but I couldn't stop. I know what I'm doing is wrong but it feels like I should. I feel like I should make him suffer for those 8 years of loneliness and rejection.

When he see no reaction out of me, he catches his breath before continuing, "I'm sorry that I didn't come back for you. I'm sorry that I took you, our friendship, all of it for granted. You weren't the only one that lost his best friend that day!" His expression not only shows remorse, but also frustration of being wronged.

That's not fair, he still had Kenny and Tweek. He still had the familiarity of South Park. I had nothing but a broken dysfunctional family and a sister that wanted me dead.

"Yes! I abandoned you that day. I was an asshole and I've regretted it every time I walked by your old house and you weren't beside me saying goodbye as you go back home." His voice cracking and I can see tears now forming in the corners of his eyes, he's begging for my forgiveness… "I'm so sorry that our friendship ended up like this… Can you please give me another chance to fix it?"

Damn it, I don't care how mad I am at him, I hate seeing Kyle cry. Seeing him like this almost makes me break my resolve but that one burning question is keeping me from falling apart.

"Answer me this Kyle, why? Why in 8 years you've never tried to patch things up? Why didn't you come find me when I couldn't leave Denver?"

Kyle pauses and just stares at me completely stunned, like I just told him that the sky wasn't blue.

"…You really don't remember, do you?" He says as he looks at me with sad eyes.

I stay silent, I don't know what he's talking about-

"I DID!" He shouts. "I _did_ try and you… you pushed me away!" He's now looking up at my face in anger and frustration.

What? I pushed him away?!

"Bullshit, when did I do that?" I glare back at him, challenging his statement.

"I. Came. Looking for you." He says in a bold, firm tone that I have never heard from him before. "I found your new number and your address in Denver and I tried to talk to you again but every time you answered you just called me a piece of shit. So I decided to come all the way to Denver to find you-"

"Wait." I stop him. "When did this happen?"

"About 5 years ago." He shallowed heavily before continuing his story, now the anger in his tone died and he continues in a more drearily one, "I'll never forget that day. I knocked on your door but no one answered, all I heard was groaning and shouting. I thought you were in trouble so I broke in, I just saw you sitting there in your room, you were so out of it and when I tried to talk to you, all you did was blame me, blame me for turning you into that."

5 years ago… So it was when I…Oh shit.

He probably sees my expression and realizes that I have pieced it together. "So, yeah. I called your mom and… I'm the reason your mom found out you were an alcoholic. After that, I left…" His eyes now shut tight as a small trail of tears start rolling down his cheeks. "I couldn't face you again now that I saw what I did to you."

I can't believe it. He _did_ try. Kyle came back for me. And _I_ pushed him away from me then acted like the victim… I'm such a fucking jackass.

I pull him over so we could sit on the side of my bed. My mind goes blank as I'm trying to apologize to the one person I've wronged for so long. "Shit, I'm sorry I said that. I didn't mean it."

"Stan, it doesn't matter if you meant it or not, you were right." Kyle opens his eyes and oh god… Tears are pouring out of those big green eyes and down his cheeks now. He looks so vulnerable.

"I was a complete piece of shit." He says in disgust. "I abandoned you and I didn't realize how much it hurt until it happened to me. It was when the PC Frats came to South Park, I didn't agree with their views about Caitlyn Jenner so Randy tied a fucking tree onto me and drew dicks on my face."

"Wait, Randy as in my dad?!" I stop him again, mostly due to shock and a need for confirmation.

"Yeah, turns out he joined the PC bros after he left South Park." He rubs his eyes, trying to stop his tears. "Don't know where they've gone to now."

Aww… Why? Dad, you fucking retard. I would facepalm right then and there if Kyle wasn't crying next to me.

"I'm sorry my dad did that to you." I pinch the bridge of my nose in annoyance of my dad's antic.

"It's not just the PC guys, no one would stand by me and I became so desperate that I trusted an ad and gave her my social security number." He drops his head down in shame as his voice slowly devolves into a faint whisper.

"You gave someone your social security number?!" I cry in shock. Kyle's the smart one in the group, he would never do something so stupid.

"I was desperate Stan!" He groans in regret. "I was so lonely and I thought I could trust her. I'm sorry, Stan. I'm sorry that I made you feel like that and I'm sorry I made you so unhappy."

"You didn't make me unhappy." I turn to the weeping redhead and correct him. "Just because we left on bad terms doesn't mean I don't want you back. I'm sorry what I said hurt you, I was in a really bad place then and I did miss having you in my life. You're my best friend, you'll always be my constant and I want us to be best friends again. Unless you don't want to."

"Of course I want to!" He jumps at my words, giving me hope. "I just didn't…. I thought that you hate me. I thought you'd be mad at me."

"I was, for a while but I'm done being mad." I admit. "I don't want to push you away out of some stupid emotional rage and regret it again. And I don't hate you, Kyle. If I did, I wouldn't have moved in with you. I want us to hang out again, I want us to be friends again."

Now that I've said all I want to say, I never felt lighter and I can feel the tension in the room dissipating. All that's left is Kyle's answer.

"What the fuck happened to us dude? When did we become such girls?"

"When we realized we like dicks?" I joke with a smirk.

Kyle's face turns red in embarrassment before slugging me in the shoulder. "Shut up!"

We start laughing and talking, more like how we used to. For a split second, I don't see that awkward nerdy little redhead I moved in with; I see my best friend again, with his warm smile, his playful laughs and his smartass comebacks.

For the first time in a long time, everything feels right in the world and for the first time in a long time, I feel happy.

* * *

 

**Kenny's POV**

I smile as I move away from Stan's door, leaving those two alone to catch up on lost time. Tweek and I have been listening in on their conversation, purely for Stan and Kyle's sakes of course.

"I told you they'd eventually work it out." I say with a confident smirk, I wish the Kenny half an hour ago could be just as confident as I am now

"You were right, Kenny." Tweek nods in agreement, not seeing through my façade. "I'm glad it worked out, I haven't heard Kyle laugh like that for a while."

"Same here, Tweeks. Same here."

"Do you think everything will go back to normal now?" He asks.

"It's gonna take some time, even after they solved their issues. But yeah. Everything's gonna back to normal again." Back to the way they were 8 years ago… The thought made me smile.

After we plan on how we're gonna "celebrate" the mending of Stan and Kyle's bromance tomorrow, and by "celebrate" I mean rip the hell out of them and probably make them pay for lunch, we part ways and go back to our rooms.

Before I go to bed, I pull out my phone to send a message.

_You're off the hook this time, fatass._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we know the full story of what happened between those two 5 years ago. Now that everything has cleared up, they can finally move pass it c:  
> Next time we'll be having a time-jump and we'll see how the gang are getting along.
> 
> In case of someone didn't get it, Kyle did make attempts to talk to Stan again but his alcoholism was so strong then, he was hardly ever sober so he didn't know or remember that. Once Kyle saw what had become of his best friend after abandoning Stan at his time of need, Kyle felt too guilt-ridden to face him again. Kyle was apologizing for not going to see Stan again after his first visit to Denver.
> 
> The support I've been getting for this story is amazing and I love every comment I get, be it good or constructively critical. It will be my birthday in this coming Monday and this story and the love it's been getting has been one of the most awesome gifts I've had. Thanks so much, Loves.
> 
> The title was the hardest part because I liked the name and the lyrics of the original song but the music tempo didn't feel right for the moment besides the song I listened to while writing was different, this was the song.  
> Big Bang- Last Dance (It's Korean): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTarVPKYetw
> 
> As always, feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	25. Night of Fate (Part I)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four months have passed since Stan and Kyle's argument, the gang have been getting closer as they make more progress and get into more trouble.

**Stan's POV**

"So, remind me why you're here and not fawning over your girl?" I ask Z, we've been hanging out a lot more and we've gotten closer. He's asked me to teach him how to fight his stepbrother in addition to how to seduce his crush.

"Well, you promised to teach my guitar." He reminds me as he walks beside me with his hands resting on the back of his head. "Besides she knows I'm after her so now I'm playing the long game. I don't wanna seem too clingy and desperate."

"You're not acting clingy on me?" I raise an eyebrow.

"I know you don't want _me_ to act cling." He teases me with a playful tone. "And here I thought I was the one who fell for a redhead."

"And here I thought you were the straight one." I retort.

"I'm not the one who took 4 months to fix my friendship."

Well… Z's not wrong there. "Fine, you got me there." I admit.

He grins victoriously over his petty win as we pass by the Harbucks that Tweek and Kenny are working at.

I stop the two of us, "Hold up, I'm gonna get some coffee. You want some?"

"Nah, I'm good. I'll wait out here for you."

I enter the shop to the aroma of freshly roasted coffee and the light chit chat of the patrons. Tweek is the only one there right now and he looks so busy he probably wishes all the coffee he drank would give him super speed.

After the guy in front of me places his order, I walk up to the counter to talk to my spazzy housemate. "Hey Tweek."

"H-Hey Stan, what can I get you?"

"I'll have an espresso, extra milk and cream." I place my usual order.

"Again?" He asks with concern. "Didn't you have one before you left the house this morning?"

"I've been having a hard time sleeping properly." I explain while releasing another sleepy yawn.

"Ok. You've got a few people ahead of you so wait a bit." Tweek writes my order onto the cup and goes back to making orders.

"Cool. You coming again on Wedsneday?" Tweek has been coming over to the communication building lately, after Sue found out about his social anxiety she's been trying to help him overcome them. One of them being mock recording sessions where Tweek can just practice speaking his mind to an empty room.

"Yeah, those sessions are helping."

"I've noticed, you barely twitch and stutter when we're in public now." I point out to him.

I wait patiently at the side, looking around before noticing another blond who's supposed to be working here right now. "Where's Kenny?"

"Dead." Tweek says blankly. "Shot himself."

"Again?"

"Yup."

"Wow, it must be really bothering him then."

* * *

**Kenny's POV**

"Kyle! This is a serious issue." I shout into the phone, I don't care if people are looking at me weird. This is a code red situation

"Not serious enough to call me in school, asshat!" Kyle growls back.

"Are you kidding me, Kyle?! I haven't had a satisfying fuck in month. Just yesterday, I was about to have a threesome with this hot dude and his girlfriend but I couldn't even get it up! A threesome, Kyle! I could go shoot myself now, there's nothing left worth living for!"

"First, you wouldn't die anyways, you just came back. Second, eww TMI dude." Kyle makes a sound of disgust. "Third, calm the fuck down. I can't help you if you can't get hard… Shut the fuck up, asshole." I then hear Kyle shouting, more to the background than to me. "Sorry, eavesdropping bastards. You sure it wasn't some erectile dysfunction?" His voice returns focus back to me.

"Kyle…" I shut my eyes and groan. "I shot myself 5 times since I came home that night. A new body isn't the solution here."

"Urgh… Can't we take about this when I get home?" He huffs impatiently before shouting to the background again. "I see you, stop snickering!"

"Fine, I have to get to work anyways." I end the call and enter the shop, I see Stan and Tweek talking together.

"Hey, Tweek. Sup, Stan?" I greet them as I go under the counter.

"Hey, dude. Just waiting for my espresso." Stan says, pointing at Tweek who's making more orders.

"Kenny, can you take over?" Tweek asks as he serves the fresh cup he makes to another customer. "I need to make a delivery."

"Sue made another booty call?" I smirk while thrusting my hips a little in an oh-so-appropriate manner.

"N-No!" Tweek stutters loudly, drawing the attention of everyone in the room "She just ordered 5 cups of coffee and some cakes." He lowers his volume and explains with his cheek pink from embarrassment

"Man, her treatments must be doing something." I point out. "Tweek would never volunteer to do a delivery and that outburst would've freaked him out."

"That girl's a wizard, I'm telling you."

"Yup, if Tweek didn't have his eyes set on her, I'd be all over that ass." I say longingly as I finish up Stan's order. "Anyways, here's your espresso, extra milk and cream."

"Thanks man." Stan takes his cup and walks out.

Before I turn my attention to the customer impatiently waiting for me to take her order, out of the corner of my eye I see Stan outside talking and walking down the block.

That's weird. Is someone there? Who is he talking to?

* * *

**Kyle's POV**

After Kenny's obnoxious call, I push past my eavesdropping classmates and go back into my seat just in time to hear my professor announce our assignment.

I hear everyone groan and I just chuckle in amusement. The assignments are difficult but almost everyone in here is older than me and yet they still act like the people in high school. Maybe I'm just advanced in my age. After 2 semesters and a ton of AP classes back in high school, I'm already 2 years ahead in schedule. I can start on my medical degree after this year. The lecturer dismisses us and I head back, excited and ready to meet up with the guys this evening.

Ever since my argument with Stan three months ago, the four of us have only gotten closer. Stan and Kenny have pretty much become brothers while Stan and I are pretty much back to the way it was. It's still a little awkward, mostly due to me, but we joke and have gaming nights like when we were kids.

Stan has been telling me that he forgives me for what happened between us, but I'm gonna keep working to make sure I'm worthy of that trust again. If I know anything, it's that trust is hard to gain once you've lost it.

I catch a bus to Downtown Denver to meet up with Kenny and Tweek at the bistro we talked about, Stan's gonna join us later since he's helping Sue with BC Live tonight.

I spot Tweek and Kenny at a table outside, I walk over as Tweek notices, "Hey, Kyle."

"Hey, guys." I greet them as I take a seat. "You ordered anything yet?"

"Nope, now that you _and_ your wallet are here," Kenny claps his hand on my shoulder with a wide grin, "we can begin."

I roll my eyes and shrug his hand out my shoulder. "I still haven't forgiven you for calling me in class today. All I've been hearing are people saying, 'You need some Viagra, Kyle?', 'Kyle, I heard you couldn't get your boyfriend hard. Is it true?'" I groan at the humiliation I experienced before shooting a glare at that blond bastard. "So, thanks asshole."

He shrugs it off playfully before sighing, "I don't know what's wrong with me. I was so sure too, but nothing felt right anymore. It's not as exciting."

"Maybe because you keep finding the same types of people." Tweek pipes in. "Kenny, everyone I've seen you with has black hair-."

"Big whoop, almost half the fucking population has black hair." Kenny retorts sarcastically. "By your logic, I should go fuck Stan next."

"Dude, don't even joke about that." I growl at Kenny's statement. I mean, Kenny shouldn't have one night stands with friends. That comment really pisses me off more than it should.

"Let me finish, Kenny." Tweek stops us from arguing before he continues what he was saying. "I meant to say they have black hair _and_ big brown eyes. Remind you of anyone?" Tweek says with a tone that says 'You should know what I'm talking about.'

Wait, what?! Is Tweek implying that Kenny has a thing for Charlie? …I don't know what to think of that.

"So what?" Kenny frowns. "You're saying I'm trying to replace Charlie?"

"It _did_ all happen after she left and lived with her aunt." Tweek replies.

Kenny opens his mouth to retort but he seems lost in thought, soon Stan joins us and we steer the conversation away from Kenny's erection issue. Our drinks come and we just spend our time talking shit and having fun. After a few drinks in, we start talking about one of my favorite topics.

"My professor gave me the weirdest diagnosis assignment." I start.

Ever since we moved onto diagnosis assessments, I've been reading case studies on some of the most ridiculous cases of mental illnesses. One time I read about a patient who couldn't stop drawing genitalia and another patient who still believed her dead baby was sleeping in her arms. They make for the weirdest conversations when you're drinking.

"So what's the 'patient' this time?" Kenny asks, intrigued.

"The patient is a middle aged woman. Apparently her husband is into bondage-"

"Kinky." Kenny cuts me off with a smirk. "So handcuffs, belts?"

"Yes Kenny, the whole package." I continue explaining, "Anyways long story short, the husband likes BDSM and she comes in for a consolation about it."

"Dude, what's wrong with BDSM? That shit's hot if the person knows what they're doing." Kenny says. I guess I shouldn't have expected any other kind of answer from Kenny.

"I don't know, man." Stan says, he looks a little uncomfortable and unsure.

"So what's your diagnosis, Kyle?" Tweek asks.

I take a moment to think before giving my two cents. "Well… I don't know really. I don't really think there's anything wrong with it. I mean, if no one really gets hurt and they love each other then I guess it's OK. Beside the woman isn't scot-free too, she has the obsession with having sex in exactly the same way."

"Kyle, the tools and process isn't the problem." Stan interrupts. "The problem is consent. The first rule of BDSM is consent but I haven't once hear you say that the woman agreed to be tied down or have the belt used on her. If she's OK with the stuff her husband's doing then its fine; but if she isn't, then there's something wrong with the husband."

I let Stan's words sink in and you know what, it makes sense. "Huh, you have a point. Thanks Stan." I thank him with a smile and he gladly reciprocates.

"To be fair Kyle, you lack the experience to make the call." Kenny suddenly says, ruining this nice moment between us.

"Oh shut the fuck up." I frown with my arms crossed.

"But Stan, I didn't know you were into it." Kenny then turns his attention with a smirk. I look at Kenny with concern, he… he isn't actually thinking of having sex with Stan, right?

"No I wasn't." Stan explains. "I dated a girl who was really into Fifty Shades of Grey and she wanted to try it. I wasn't comfortable with that."

"All right, Casanova." Kenny gives Stan a pat on the back.

"It's nothing compared to your track record." He laughs before turning to me. "So Kyle, how many guys have you dated?" Stan's question bringing the three of us to silence.

Oh no…

"Uhh…" I stutter, I don't know how to answer him. I mean I know the answer, but I don't know _what_ exactly to tell him.

"Kyle hasn't dated anyone since Annie in 6th grade!" Tweek pipes up, responding for me. I cast a grateful smile to him, even if I wanted to tell him the truth it's wouldn't be here, in public.

"No way!" Stan exclaims, seemingly unaware of the looks Kenny, Tweek and I shared, "Kyle you're adorable, you could get any guy you want."

Wait, Stan thinks I'm adorable?

Suddenly these two big guys show up, they look much older than us, bigger too. Their eyes scanning the area like they're looking for someone. They glance over our way and their gazes lock onto our table. Uh-oh, something tells me shit's about to hit the fan.

"Hey, you." One of them calls out, pointing our way.

"What do you want?" I stand up, readying to fight if I have to.

"Our business ain't with you, strawberry shortcake." The other one snickers.

I feel my anger rise as I hear that comment. Wow… Do these guys have a death wish?

They start walking over to our table, "Our business is with blondie there." Their gazes lock on poor Tweek.

"M-me?" His eyes widen in fear and disbelief.

"Yeah you, words going around that you're after Jake's girl." They explain as they crack their knuckles. "We don't take kindly to that."

"Since when was Sue been dating Jake?" I hear Stan mumble beside me.

"Jake's girl?! T-this must be a mistake. I'd never try to break apart anyone! I don't even know who Jake is!" Tweek desperately trying to explain, but it looks like nothing is getting into those meatheads.

"Well, Jake Winter doesn't make mistakes. And frankly, I don't care." He says as they throw the first punch. Tweek recoils in the force but he seems fine beside the bruise that will form.

"Back off, asshole." I walk up to them, trying to look intimidating despite the fact that they tower over me.

"Look, the little guy wants to act tough." He laughs at me like he's looking at some joke. That's when I snap

"Don't fuck with me!" I shout as my fist connects with his face, I might be short but that punch has enough force to make his falter.

"Argh! Bastard!" He growls as they charge at me again. I don't care, they're not getting Tweek without a fight.

"Leave them alone!" Stan and Kenny join in, pushing them away from us before standing in front of us protectively.

It's not long before, the 6 of us start getting into a brawl. Chairs are thrown and the people inside the bistro start screaming and running away from the fight. We all take some hits before the sounds of sirens echo into the night, getting closer to us.

This breaks up the fight as Kenny shouts, "Oh shit! We gotta go."

We spilt up as we run away from the cops, Kenny and Tweek run off into the streets as Stan pulls me into the alleyway. Stan and I keep running before turning a corner and hiding. We keep our ears open for any signs of the cops on our trail, thankfully it's all quiet now.

We get up before discussing what to do, we don't know if the cops are still on the streets looking for us and we're too far away to get to home without a cab or a bus.

Stan surveys the area for landmarks to pinpoint where we are. "I know this place, we're close to my old apartment. Wendy has been saying at Bebe's so we could just spend the night there."

"Okay, let's go." I agree and the two of us make our way to the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... that happened. I hope this isn't too much of a filler chapter for you guys. I know some of you guys really want these two to get together already, believe me I have their paths all mapped out and I can't wait to write it out but it will take time for their relationship to feel genuine, I only ask you guys to trust me about Stan and Kyle. I hope you enjoy the interactions the four of them have, I really like writing them, especially when it's one of them being badasses.
> 
> Next time, we follow these two as they talk about the parts of their lives that they've missed.
> 
> Happy birthday to me, I guess. This is my gift to you guys, I hope you guys like it c:
> 
> As always, feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	26. Night of Fate (Part II)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan and Kyle talk about Kyle’s dating issue and Z comes seeking help.

**Kyle's POV**

Stan’s apartment turns out to be about two blocks, which would be fine if we weren’t a bunch of inebriated college kids who were just in a brawl. Luckily it seems like the cops gave up on us and we make it to the building without drawing any extra attention.

Thankfully Stan has been paying for the power so the heating still works fine, wish I could say the same for the lights, the bulbs are burnt out so we have to light a few candles we found in the kitchen and put them around the apartment. We sit in the living room, trying to collect ourselves after the fiasco that happened.

“So… What now?” I ask him.

“Well, I don’t think I can drive us back tonight and you’d wanna spend the cab money. Let’s just stay here for the night and head back in the morning.”

“Sure, sounds like a plan and if we’re gonna spend the night here, I want something to drink.”

“You sure? You’ve had a few back there and no offense, you’re kinda a lightweight.”

“Fuck you, just get me something.” I’ve been thinking about what Stan said in the bistro, we’ve known each other for so long and I want to come clean to him, but I really need to be drunk for this.

He leaves the room and I think about how I want to say it. I should just spill it, leave no secrets about it. If it was anyone else, I would never consider it but this is Stan. This past four months has proven that he hasn’t really changed, he’s mostly the same Stan I knew 8 years ago. Besides, I think he should know, Kenny and Tweek do and Stan deserves the same.

“Here you go.” He brings in two six-packs and hands me a freshly opened can of beer. “Hope you don’t mind room-temp beer.”

“Thanks Stan.” I take a swig before I start. Right now’s a better time than any, I guess. “Stan, remember what you said back in the bistro? That I could get any guy I want?”

“Yeah… Why?”

“It’s not that no one wants me…” I take a deep breath to calm my anxious heart. “I’m the issue.”

“What?” He asks confused.

“We’re all a little broken, Stan. Tweek’s got his social anxiety, Kenny’s got his sex addictions…. I have ‘relationship issues’.” I explain, “I have a hard time trusting people enough to let them love me, the real me.”

“Kyle…” Stan looks like he’s trying to wrap his head around what I’m saying. “Well maybe that’s not the case. You probably just haven’t met the right guy yet.”

“Even if I did, I wouldn’t have let them love me. All because of some stupid ass prank.” I feel the new rush of alcohol in me, making it easier for me to say it.

“Prank?” He inquires cautiously.

“Annie wasn’t the last person I dated. Her name was Vivian but all her friends just called her Vivi.” I wince a bit at the memory, I really don’t want to remember this but I need to get it out and there’s no turning back now. “It happened when I was 13. We just got to Middle school and I thought things were gonna be different. In a way, I was right; the middle school was a joint-school with kids from all over Park County. There I met a girl I’d never seen before and I felt something in me change, she was too enrapturing that all the boys wanted her. Including me. I thought I had feelings for a girl I hardly knew and with my take-action nature, I confessed to her. Vivi didn’t respond and just left. The next day, I went to school and wouldn’t you know it Vivi accepted my confession and we became a couple. But you know how the story ends by now, huh?” I give a dry laugh as I shake my head, god I was such a fucking idiot back then. Stan just looks at me with concern.

“Two months later, I learned the truth… in the worst fucking way possible.” My voice raises and my fist clenches onto the can, leaving dents onto the surface. “Cartman came up to me, laughing his ass off about something he read. I ignored him like I normally did but then he quoted something he shouldn’t have known about, my letters to Vivi. He started citing my letters word for word and I demanded to know how he knew about them. Turns out Vivi’s been posting my ‘love’ on her Instagram and just… having her post something I put so much of myself in online with captions like ‘Here’s the love note for the day, not as funny as last week’s.’, I was so mad by the time I got to school that I just pulled Vivi away from her friends and demanded to know everything, she just fucking shrugged it off and said I shouldn’t take it too seriously. Then I finally got it… it was all one-sided. She didn’t love me, she saw me as a joke. Something to laugh about with her friends.” I drop the empty can and reach for other. I calm myself down a bit, the memory’s hitting me again, it’s not as bad as before but it still fucking hurts.

“After that, Vivi never said anything about it again and just acted like nothing happened, but everyone else didn’t. I was done with relationships.” I say drily. “I didn’t want to be the butt of someone’s joke and I don’t trust anyone who wants me to believe about their ‘strong desire’ or their ‘undying love’ for me. Those people broke me and I hate that Vivi’s probably somewhere living her life just fine without knowing what she did to me.”

I finish my story as I finish my second beer. I feel both relief and uneasiness, I’m glad I finally told Stan this but I’m worried about what he’ll think of me now that he knows. I look at Stan, his face has changed and he looks like when I first dropped the bomb about what happened to Charlie that day at BC Live.

He covers his face with his hands and says, “I’m sorry that it happened and I’m sorry if what I said earlier triggered some bad memories.” Even though I can’t see his face, I can tell he feels sorry for me. His voice is laced with sympathy and remorse. I didn’t tell him this to gain sympathy but I’m kinda glad that he feels that way.

“Its fine, Stan. I just… You’re my best friend and I figured you deserved to know this.” I reassure him, “Honestly I’ve kinda gotten better at it. I used to get pretty anxious thinking back about it but now it’s…better I guess. Love itself doesn’t scare me that much, it’s more the idea of making yourself so vulnerable and dependent to another person. So many people have hurt me and I just think it’s easier to stay alone.”

He opens a can from the six-packs he brought in, he practically chugs the drink down before asking me, “How have you been dealing with it?”

“I’m not on medications like Tweek if that’s what you mean. I’ve been doing a kind of self-therapy, I try to think back about it without freaking out and I’ve read cases of what real love is like.” I inform him before saying wistfully. “I have a more realistic grasp on romance and part of me wants that. I just wish I was strong enough to experience it myself instead of envisioning it in my head.”

“Kyle, I get that you have a problem with relationships.” He says in a calm and comforting tone. “After hearing what happened, I can definitely see why. But you don’t have to keep imagining it like that.”

“Stan, no one would be willing to put up with my issues.” I retort, “Plus, I don’t want to just date someone to get over my anxiety, I’d be no better than _her_. I want an actual relationship, I’m just waiting for the right guy.”

“Well. You’re not gonna find someone if you just sit here and wait, maybe you need to just start taking action and just do it.” He points out, much to my dismay.

“What?! Stan I can’t just go up to someone and _just do it_!” I cry out. “What am I supposed to say? ‘Hey, I have relationship anxieties but I think you’re hot. We should _totally_ make out.’ People will think I’m a freak, no one would-”

My words get cut off. Something pressing on my lips is stopping me from my rant, something soft and warm. My mind focuses and I see Stan’s face right up against me, his nose touching my cheek, I can’t believe what’s happening right now.

Stan Marsh is kissing me.

He keeps the kiss short as I feel him pull away from me. My mind is left in a swirl of incoherent thoughts. What just happened? We were talking, I said that love can’t just be spontaneous and then he… he kissed me. Now, he’s sitting back to where he was with a smile on his face. God I just want to wipe that smirk off his face.

“How many times have you done that before?” I ask him in with a stoic tone

“A few times.”

“… And how many times did you get hit for that?” I continue with my teeth clenched.

“I don’t know…” He looks up in recollection, “Maybe 6?”

With that, I slap him. My hand leaving a bright red mark on his face with a satisfying sound. “Make that 7.”

I’d honestly punch him if it wouldn’t leave a bruise I do not need Tweek and especially Kenny playing 20 questions on how Stan got a black eye, since the guys didn’t land a hit on his face.

I get off the couch we were sitting on to get away from him. I need to get my head straight. Why the fuck did Stan just kiss me? Suddenly I see Stan come towards me as I’m backing away from him, we keep going until my back hits the wall and he puts his right arm up against the wall, trapping me under him. I raise my hand, ready to give his other check the same treatment but he grasps my wrists, forcing me to look at him. I notice his face glowing under the soft candle lights.

He looks at me as he starts, “I know that seems insensitive for me to do but love is a pretty risky game. We’ve all been hurt by someone we’ve trusted but it’s OK to be afraid of it. But you shouldn’t run away from it. Even if you’ve never loved before…” I notice his face coming closer to mine.

“Even if you never knew what it felt like…” He continues. His face is now inches away from mine and I can feel his breath on my skin

“All you need is one moment…” I feel him lightly grazing over my cheek, my heart is racing at this point. What is he doing to me?

“To change everything.” I hear him whisper lightly with his lips on my ear.

* * *

**Stan's POV **

Kyle quickly pushes me with way more force than I thought he would, his face's bright red and he looks like he just ran a marathon. He shoots a glare at me and asks me with a cautious and accusing tone, "Stan, what the fuck was that?"

"I was proving a point. Look at you, I just got closer to you and you act like I'm trying to rape you. I get that you have hard time opening up to someone but you gonna stop analyzing if what's the best move when it comes to love." I take my seat back onto the couch. "You just gotta follow your heart."

"Follow your heart." He scoffs, now taking a seat at the end of the couch and out of my reach. "What a joke, that's what got me in this in the first place."

"Kyle, if I learned anything, it's that you just gotta do what feels right, don't leave things for remorse or 'what if's. If you think you have feelings for someone, think about them and don't try to reject the feeling."

"What's with you guys? You sound like Kenny!" He jumps off the seat again, his face now red with anger. "I'm the one learning about the mind and how to help people with issues. Not you! So stop acting like you know what's best for me!"

"Ok, Kyle. Chill. Sorry man." I calm Kyle down, I might have pushed him too far. He sits back down and opens another can.

My mind now no longer caring about the fuming redhead before me, but the kiss I stole from him, "Your lips are softer than I thought." I mumble at the memory.

"What?" He asks before he pauses, his face turning green. "Oh shit… Dude, I think I need to throw up."

"Oh umm, come on." I pull Kyle to the bathroom and I let him puke in my toilet, I'm gonna have to clean that in the morning before I leave. I lightly pat his back to help him, then I hear knocking.

Who the fuck is knocking at this hour? "Kyle, someone's at the door, I gotta go get the door." I inform him before leaving him in the bathroom to open the door.

I open the door to find Z, his face is completely fucked up and he has no shoes. Did he run all the way here barefooted?

"What are you doing here?" I close the door, I don't want Kyle to see Z like this.

"I can't stay home, can I crash here for the night?" Ever since Z told me that his stepbrother locks him out sometimes, I offered to let him hang at my place so that he doesn't have to stay at the park until his mom comes home.

Normally I'd let him but I can't deal with both Kyle and Z right now. "We'll talk about this at the park."

I go back inside to grab a pair of shoes I left here before for Z, "Kyle, Z needs me. I'll be back soon."

* * *

**Kyle's POV**

Why the fuck did I think getting hammered was the best way to confess my past? My head's gonna hate me when I wake up. I groan as I walk out to the living room, Stan's no longer in the room. I think he mentioned he might be outside with whoever he said was knocking earlier. Was there someone knocking earlier? Urgh… I'm too out of it to remember.

I somehow wander into the bedroom. I lay my eyes onto the bed and I instantly feel its temptation. I wanna just crash and sleep here… but I shouldn't. Stan was acting really weird earlier, I mean I trust him and all but the alcohol in my brain is playing out horrible scenarios I know would never happen. Stan wouldn't do that to me… Not after he knew what happened about me with Vivi…right? But, maybe a little extra precaution wouldn't be bad.

I come up with a pretty smart idea for someone drunk off his ass. I find a little hiding spot on top of his drawer and I pull my phone out, the battery's on 27%. Shit I should've charged it before. Whatever, it should be enough for now. I put the phone into camera mode and I set it to record before putting it into the hiding spot I found, angling it to capture the whole room.

I step back and smile proudly at the setup. Ha, see you try and beat that.

With the reassurance of the camera and my body deciding to no longer give a fuck, I collapse onto the bed and doze off.

* * *

**Stan's POV**

I give Z the shoes and a pack of tissues I found in my pocket, he takes them on the bench he's sitting on. I cross my arms and ask him. "Z, what the fuck? Why are you so bruised up?"

"I know you said not to fight him until I could but…he," he wipes away a stray tear on the corner of his eye. "that son of a bitch wanted to steal my guitar, it was the last thing I had from dad, from my life before the divorce. I tried to stop him and well…" He touches his wounds lightly with a piece of tissue I give him, he hisses at the pain. "I guess we both know who lost."

"I can't believe this…" I groan in frustration. "Get yourself to the fucking hospital then! Why are you here?"

"Because I have nowhere else to go!" He cries. "You think I like coming here all the time, begging for your help? I feel horrible every time I have to come here and ask for your help but I had to, because no one else would give a shit about me. I'll just be another echo in the shadows. Please Stan. Don't leave me."

"I can't help you tonight, here's some money to go see a doctor. I need to get back to Kyle." I take some money out of my wallet and put it in his hand before leaving, I know it's cold of me to do so but this is ridiculous, it's been 5 times this week, I can't keep letting Z depend on me like this. Plus, Kyle's pretty wasted and he probably needs someone to take care of him tonight.

Out of guilt, I still pull out my phone to make a call, "Kenny, I'm sorry for calling you so late but I need a favor."

After calling Kenny to help with Z, I return to my apartment to find it empty. Kyle's not in the living room or in the bathroom. I notice that the master bedroom door is ajar so I enter the room. I see him sleeping on the bed, his hat still on his head but slight skewed, making it look like his hair is trying to escape it. His face looks peaceful and the blissful silence of the room allows me to hear his soft breathing. He looks like just like how he was in my arms that day, only much sweet and innocent.

I think back to what Kyle told me about Vivi, it's horrible what happened to him and I hate that bitch for hurting my super best friend and… I hate myself for not being there for him, I know it's stupid to blame myself for something like that but I couldn't help but think that I could have stopped this hurt.

 _So many people have hurt me and I just think it's easier to stay alone_. That line keeps ringing in my head, was I one of those people? God, I hope not. I hope Kyle has forgiven me for what happened between us. I hear Kyle turning on the bed, breaking out from my thoughts. He's grabbing every little bit of the blanket he could get and wrapping himself into a cocoon.

I know I probably look like a creep right now but I can't take my eyes off of him like this, I reach out and lightly pat the small amount of hair that made it outside its green prison, noting the small sounds and gentle movements Kyle gives as a response. I can't help but crack a small smile at the sight. He's so adorable.

After a long while of being a creep hanging around Kyle's calm sleeping body, I get up and head over to my old recording room and call it a night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's your first taste of fluff. Like I mentioned before, the love in this story is spontaneous but it requires time to properly grow. So just trust me, guys c: Next time we see the aftermath of Stan's actions.
> 
> If you've seen the drama, you'd know what Kyle's condition is different from the original one. That's because this is part of my personal insecurity. Obviously it's changed a little to fit the story, it only lasted for a few days and that person would hurt me was my first crush, but other than that everything's the same. Ironically, the friend who revealed it to me was also named Vivian XD
> 
> As always, feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	27. Young Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny has his first meeting with Bebe since he left South Park and he’s confronted with his sour feeling towards her and his budding feelings for Charlie. Also, Cartman gets punched in the face.

**Stan's POV **

"Are you sure, Kenny?" I ask Kenny. I don't have any classes this morning and all I have is a radio session this afternoon. I stop by Harbucks to get my daily cup of espresso and hear about Z after Kenny took over.

"Yeah, I didn't see a kid with black hair or anyone there really." He says as he hands a cup of iced coffee. "All I saw was a bunch of 20s on the bench with a pair of shoes and a pack of opened tissues."

That's weird, was Z mad at me for choosing Kyle? I hope not. Speaking of Kyle, I have to talk to him. I think I might have overdone it last night since Kyle was already gone before I even woke up. All that's left was his phone with its battery dead, I wonder how it got there. I'll have to give it back to him when he gets home.

I suddenly hear someone gasping behind me, "Holy shit, they weren't lying."

I turn back to see Sue and Charlie at the door, both of them looking at Kenny. Makes sense seeing how I mostly made it out with a few bruises on my body while Kenny has a one forming just below his eye.

Charlie snaps out of her shock, switching into concern as Sue starts, "Rumors around campus is that you guys got into a fight with Jake's guys."

"Yeah, stupid dumbasses." Kenny then smiles triumphantly. "We put them in their place though."

"How did it even happen?"

"Those assholes came at us first, we were just enjoying the night and they came picking a fight with Tweek because he apparently stole 'Jake's girl'."

Sue looks taken back before her face flickers into realization and anger. I, being the thickheaded idiot asks her softly, "Since when did you start dating Jake?"

"I didn't." She says with her jaws and fist clenched. "Thanks Kenny, I'll see ya later."

With that, Sue stomps out of the café. It's uncommon to see her stressed out and it's even rarer to see Sue furious. I do not want to be near her now, nor do I want to imagine what will happen to whoever crosses her today. I stop thinking about her as I hear Charlie talking to Kenny.

"Are you guys OK?" She asks with a gentle, caring voice. "Sue called me and said you guys got into a fight, I got here as fast as I could after the bell rang." Even though she said 'you guys', I know her question is more directed towards Kenny. Her eyes haven't left him since she entered.

"Don't worry, princess." Kenny responds with a smug look. "We're from South Park. We can hold our own."

"Clearly." She rolls her eyes. "I'm more worried how it happened."

"Again, we South Park folk have our ways of attracting trouble." He shrugs. I have to say, he's not wrong.

"Whatever, I'm just glad I'm visiting you at work and not at the station."

"You wouldn't be the first girl paying my bail."

"But you know I would if I could, hotshot."

I just stand there in silence as they keeping talking, seemingly lost in their own world. Man, those two are flirting like crazy now. I bet they've even forgotten that I'm here.

I clear my throat and break up the little 'lover's spat', Kenny shoots a glare at me for ruining their moment. "So where have you been?" I ask Charlie. "Haven't heard much from you since you went with Francisca."

"High school." She replies with a groan. "You know I forgot about how boring it is to spend 8 hours of your life in a classroom listening to someone can be. Almost makes me wish I was still on the run, almost."

"Be thankful at least you didn't have our teachers.” Kenny points out. “Mr Garrison and Mackey were so shit, man."

"Kyle told me about Garrison. I think he said he was an 'unqualified manwhore who probably has poor Lemmiwinks stuck up his ass'. I'm quoting him here." She says with a playful laugh and a shrug.

Kenny and I chuckle at the statement. Yeah, that sounds like Kyle, alright.

We keep joking and laughing, much to the annoyance of the customers and Kenny's manager. Obviously he didn't really care but he goes back to making coffee to keep his job.

"Kenny's gonna get himself fired one day if he keeps this up." Charlie giggles as she watches Kenny brew his next order.

"You know you care a lot about Kenny." I say knowingly with a raised eyebrow.

Charlie catches on to what I'm implying and she responds almost defensively, "I care about Kyle too. You guys are like, my heroes. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you."

She says with admiration and I don't doubt that for a second but that's not the answer I'm looking for.

"Yeah, Kenny isn't the only one good at reading people." I take a sip of my espresso. "I can tell that the way you care about him is way different than the way you care about the rest of us."

My words leave her speechless. Her face glowing pink and her mouth gapping like a fish, trying to come up with some kind of denial or rebuttal. I feel bad for calling her out like that.

"You don't have to say anything, kid." I mock-zipped my lips. "These lips are sealed."

She smiles a bit with the reassurance but immediately her face drops into troubled confusion. She sighs as she asks, "Is it weird that I have feelings for someone I only met a few months ago? I mean, I know I adore Kenny, I like how reliable he is and how protective he can be, especially after hearing what he does for his little sister. But I don't know if it's love or if I'm even ready to fall in love again."

Hearing Charlie say this reminds me of what Kyle told me last night, so I give her the same response. "Then just think about how you're feeling and what you want to do next. There aren't many wrong answers when it comes to these things."

"What do I do when I figure them out?" She looks at me, hoping for some kind of guidance.

"Just follow your gut, kid." I reply. "But if you want advice on how to get Kenny, you better go talk to Kyle or Tweek. They've known him longer than I have."

She sits quietly, taking it in before nodding with a hint of determination. "Ok, thanks Stan."

Suddenly, I notice a familiar blonde coming into the store, I greet her with a slight wave.

"Hey Bebe." I greet her, catching her attention. She walks over to me and Charlie.

"Hi Stan, didn't expect to see you here." She says half-heartedly, her eyes darting around the area.

"You here for some coffee?"

"No, umm…" She's now actively looking around, frantically searching for something. "I'm looking for someone. Have you seen Kenny?"

"Yeah, he-" I start as I point to the counter he works at, only to notice that there is no one there, "-was just here…" I trail off, confused. Where did he go? I turn back to Bebe and ask, "What do you need to tell him?"

"I need- it has to-" She stutters nervously, her fingers twitching with anxiety from explaining herself. She calms herself down a little bit before continuing, "I have something I need to talk to him about, and it has to be face-to-face."

Charlie stands up, surprising me and Bebe. "I'll look for him."

"Thanks, uhh…" Bebe trails off, she probably doesn't know about Charlie. Bebe looks at me, begging me to help her.

"Charlie." She introduces herself.

"Oh right, you're that kid Kyle saved."

"Thanks, nice to know that's the only thing people know me for." Charlie says sarcastically before going under the counter. Clearly she doesn't give a shit.

"So where's Clyde? Did you come here alone?" I ask Bebe, looking over her shoulder for her boyfriend.

"Clyde's at work, I asked Cartman to drive me here." She answers, keeping her eyes now glued to her phone.

Cartman's here? Hearing that name just reignites some of that residue rage, part from the affair and the other being what he did to Kyle in Middle school. I stand up with my jaw clenched.

"Wait here for Charlie, I'll be right back." I say with a flat tone before marching outside to confront the fatass that was once one of my best friends.

Cartman is leaning up against his car, on his phone, probably texting Wendy or something. He looks up from his phone, probably expecting Bebe to come out, and his face pales when he sees me coming over to him. I don't even give him a chance before throwing a punch straight to his face.

"That's for fucking Wendy behind my back." I growl.

Cartman falters before regaining his balance, he touches his left cheek where my fist collided with his face. It'll probably leave a nice bruise. "Ok… Fine I deserve that." He groans.

"I'm surprised you could feel remorse, you fat fuck." I scoff at him.

"Honestly, I wouldn't have cared if it weren't for two reasons." He tells me, with no regret in his voice. "One, you're my moneymaker. I'm still your manager and we need to work together, something you obviously don't see, seeing the calls I've gotten from our usuals."

After Cartman betrayed me, I made sure to ask my prospectors to call me directly when it comes to gigs and opportunities.

"You're surprised I did that? You're lucky I didn't do this years ago."

He's clearly furious about what I said but he pushes his anger down and continues, "Secondly, I did it for them."

"Them?" I raise an eyebrow.

"The two important women in my life, Wendy and your mom, Sharon." He explains. "Believe it or not, I do feel things and I feel nothing but gratitude for what Sharon did for me after my mam ditched me. Sharon took me in like I wass her own child, it wasn't much but it gave me a better sense of family than my own did." He says earnestly. I can tell because I could even feel it, he's not lying. "Wendy and Sharon wouldn't want you to end up broken again because of my love for Wendy, so I did my best to make sure you wouldn't fall apart again by sending you to the one person who can do that."

"So that's why you got me to move in with Kyle." Now everything makes sense. I should have known that Cartman would never help me just for the sake of it.

"I don't expect you to forgive me, but I do hope you go see Sharon again. You've been visiting her less and I can tell she misses you."

"I wonder why." I scoff. I feel bad for mom because it's not really because of her but Cartman and Shelly. I should at least go back to my usual visiting schedule. "Fine, I promise."

We've come to a mutual silent truce, I don't know when I can forgive him and Wendy but I don't hate his guts. All of rage left that mark on his left cheek. Before I go back inside, I turn back to him

"Also." I throw another punch, just as powerful as the last one, onto his right side this time. "That one's for Kyle."

* * *

**Kenny's POV**

"Kenny?" I hear Charlie's voice. What's she doing here?

"Charlie!" I exclaim, turning to her, trying to act like I wasn't trying to hide from my ex-girlfriend in the storage room. "What's up?"

"What are you doing in here? There's a girl named Bebe outside looking for you." She asks with her arms folded. Something on my face must have shown anxiety and rage when she mentions Bebe because she drops her arms and asks me, "Is something wrong?"

"I'm fine, it's just I don't know if I can face her right now." Not without losing my job or scaring Charlie.

"Should I just get rid of her? I could if it'll help." She asks me innocently. I would laugh at her proposition if she wasn't being serious.

"You don't know her, Bebe Stevens won't stop until she gets what she came here for." I pinch the bridge of my nose in annoyance, Christ I need to stop hanging around Stan so much. "Tell her to come back after I close shop, 5 pm."

Thankfully, Charlie seems to get that I don't want talk about Bebe right now and just does what I ask. She comes back in after delivering the message. She warns me that Bebe is still outside.

Charlie sits down on the floor, next to me, "Kenny, who is that girl?"

"Someone I used to date." I answer flatly.

"Oh…"

"Look Charlie, there was just some stuff that happened and I'm not sure if I could face her while I still need Harbuck's paycheck."

"It's fine. You don't have to tell me. I get having some stuff you don't feel comfortable sharing."

"No, I just… I don't know how to tell you."

"Kenny," She places her hand on my shoulder, comforting and reassuring me with that sweet smile of hers. "it's fine."

"So how has school been? Any dickheads messing with you?"

"I'm fine… There will always be those guys, especially after telling my story to all of fucking Colorado. Got a new nickname too, 'Popper'." I feel my anger grow towards those people, her aunt has diagnosed that Charlie has depression and PTSD from what happened with her family, luckily her depression can be controlled with some anti-depressants.

"But there are people helping me, I even have a few girl friends to watch my back." She continues, her voice filled with joy and hope.

I hate asking her this but I need to know. "Have you thought about what you're gonna do about your family?"

She closes her eyes and sighs, she answers with a tired tone, "I want them out of my life but Francine said that as long as I'm a minor, I don't really have much of a say in the matter. They're still my legal guardians, I could file for emancipation but luckily I haven't heard from them yet so maybe they just decided to leave me the fuck alone."

"Charlie, why not just report your family?" I ask her cautiously. It seems like the obvious answer. If she did that, she'd be free and she'll just the justice she deserves.

"Call it cowardice or empathy, I just don't want to deal with them anymore. But they're still my family, I hate their guts and I want nothing to do with them but in the end, I am still a Baxton, their blood runs in my veins." She says with a grim tone. "So call it an unofficial truce, if they don't come back to fuck with my life, we'll go our separate ways but the minute they pull anything, I'll call 911 in a heartbeat this time."

For her sake, I really hope they don't come back. She's been through so much within such a short time. I go back out to notice that Stan walking back in, looking a little roughed up. When I ask him about it, he tells me not to worry about it. He just went to 'talk' to Cartman. I don't know what he did to piss Stan off and I don't know if it had anything to do with our plan to get Stan and Kyle's friendship fixed. I decide not to question him and let it at that.

It's one hour to closing time and Tweek hasn't come into work today, I didn't even get a phone call, which has me really concerned. I hope he's OK. Maybe whoever Jake is might be giving him a hard time. Tweek's strong but he really doesn't know how to fight back. He only does it to protect me or Kyle, maybe even Sue now.

It makes me happy that Sue is so accepting of Tweek's anxiety, a lot of the girls he's met couldn't really deal with him and he's been shut down so many times because of it. But if Sue really is dating someone else, poor Tweek is gonna have his heart broken.

5 o'clock comes around and like clockwork, Bebe arrives at the door. The shop is really much empty by now so we both take a seat. "Hello, Kenny."

"Bebe." I greet her, then look around for her 'boy-toy'. "No Clyde?"

"No, Kenny. I wanted to talk to you and Clyde doesn't have anything to do with this."

"Is there anything left to talk about?" I ask her cynically.

"Yes, I do have things I need to say and you're not making it easier. I feel awful about how we left things."

"I wonder why." I scoff, I don't care if I'm acting like a dick right now. She knows what she did.

"Kenny McCormick, how dare you!" She stops herself before raising her voice any higher. "I'm not here to get into a fight about it. Clyde said we might need closure for what happened and I somewhat agree. I can't get you out of my mind."

"You had your chance at high school. Besides, you're with Clyde now. Unless you want to go back to your 'blonde slut' phase?" I say mockingly.

"You know what I mean. I may not love you anymore but that doesn't mean I'm not worried about you. I know my decision hurt you but it wasn't yours to make."

"You didn't even give me a choice!" I slam my hands onto the poor table. "I know I treat death like nothing but that doesn't mean you can do that to-"

" **STOP**!" She yells, cutting me off before she continues in a burned-out yet pleading tone. "Kenny, you know why I had to. I have my dreams, I wanted to go to college, and I wanted to be a lawyer. I wanted to prove that I'm not some dumb blonde stereotype. I can't really do that as Mrs. McCormick."

"Could've fooled me." I look away with my arms folded against my chest.

"This isn't going anywhere, I'll come back when you can act like an adult."

She storms out of the café, leaving me frustrated and upset. I sit down at one of the tables and shut myself out from the world.

My mind is brought back when I hear the sound of a cup placed in front of me, I see a red cup of coffee and Charlie with another cup in her hand.

"Americano, I hope you don't mind."

I take a sip of the coffee she made, it's not half bad. "I didn't know you knew how to make coffee with these machines, princess."

"You try living with a workaholic psychiatrist, this is her favorite."

"That could be Kyle in a few years." I chuckle at the thought, before asking her, "What are you doing here, Charlie?"

"Moral support." She answers straightforwardly. "The way you talked about Bebe didn't spell for many positive outcomes and…" She puts her cup down before saying with worry laced all over her voice, "from what I heard when I walked over here, it sounds about right."

I put my head down onto the table and groan. Great, the girl I have feelings for had just heard me fight with my ex. "Christ, how much did you hear?"

"Just the bit at the end."

I pull my head back up and sigh. "I guess I owe you an explanation."

"Kenny, you don't owe me anything."

"I do want you to know though." I take a breath before saying with as much feeling as I can muster, "Charlie, these past few months you've been gone I've felt something I haven't felt for someone for a long time, yearning. I was longing to see you again. I didn't even recognize this feeling until Tweek called it out and when you came in earlier today, you have no idea how happy I felt. I want a chance to be with you but I think you deserve to know everything about me before you make this decision."

"Bebe, she was my ex-girlfriend from high school." I start. "Kyle probably told you by now that I'm a self-proclaimed whore so when Bebe wanted to be fuck buddies, I jumped at the offer. It was supposed to just that, sex and no strings attached. But soon we became a real couple, things were pretty good. That was until senior year, Bebe asked me about my future and I told her that I'd probably just get out of South Park with her and the guys and find a job. I didn't really care much for college and it wasn't like I had the money for it. She yelled at me for not thinking about our future and that she didn't want to end up that way too. When I asked her what she meant, she pulled out a bunch of stuff, college pamphlets from schools I knew she was considering… and a pregnancy test. Positive. I just looked at her then hugged her as she started crying. She was scared out of her mind and I was shocked too, but I wasn't gonna abandon her. So I told her that I'd take care of the both of them. I wanted to make sure that this kid wasn't gonna have the rough childhood I had." I feel my heart tighten at the memory. "But I never got the chance."

Charlie stays silent as I tell my story, her face blank and free from emotion, making it hard to tell what she's thinking, "After 5 months, I noticed that Bebe hasn't changed at all. I asked her how the baby was doing and she just told me it's gone… At first I thought she had a miscarriage so I started freaking out, wanting to take her to the hospital and make sure she's alright. But she confessed to me, she had an abortion. She didn't want to give up on her dreams so she gave up our child. I was so mad then. I called her a murderer and a monster."

I take another sip of Americano to calm my nerves. "I knew I went too far but I never took it back. I resent her so much for what she did, I thought my love was enough to convince her that we'd still be happy despite everything we would have to forgo. But it wasn't, so I made sure to cut every thread I could find with the people I sleep with. I'd never think of kissing anyone or hold them in my arms."

I look up into her eyes and place my hand over hers. "You were the first person I felt something for since, your smile lights me up and I love your sweet chocolate eyes. You're strong, fun and inhumanely amazing. I fight the urges to even touch your face because you're just this beautiful treasure that I want to keep from the world. I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend on the spot, but I hope you consider me an option."

Charlie pulls me up from my seat and into her arms, hugging me as I listen to her soothing voice, "Kenny, I'm sorry that Bebe did that to you and it hurts knowing how much you're suffering without mentioning it to me or Kyle or anyone."

"Kyle and Tweek know, they were there. They helped me through my grief. But I doubt Stan knows, Bebe wouldn't share this story around."

She pulls back from the hug a little, just enough for her to see my face."Anyways, I'd be lying if I didn't think the same about you. So let's just see how this'll play out."

My eyes widen at her words. Not wanting to get my hopes up, I cock my head a little and ask,"Which means…?"

She just smiles as she pulls away from the hug. "Meet me at the cinema this Saturday, we're going to see Split. The gentleman pays for the snacks." She teases playfully with a wink.

I don't know what she's making me feel now, but goddamn am I addicted to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Young love, how precious~ But yeah, Kenny and Charlie are acting on their feelings way faster than any of the other guys. That's what happens when you have two reckless young adults in love with each other, but they don't know that yet c; This chapter is the longest one I uploaded to date and I think I might start writing longer ones to push the stories on a little faster. Next time, we follow Kyle as we see his side of the day.
> 
> This was one of the few that took me a while to write, I found two songs to listen to while writing this,  
> The Bebe and Kenny scene is Amnesia by 5 Seconds of Summer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9u3y5fmoAvA  
> Charlie and Kenny's would be Young Love by JEdward: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKmI3BDs_KQ
> 
> As always, feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS.
> 
> Take care and happy spring break (for all the students), Loves.


	28. Emotional Dilemmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle's a little antsy about the events between him and Stan last night while Tweek faces some troubles of his own on campus.

**Kyle's POV**

I wake up with a pain-induced moan, head hurting from a massive hangover. Why the hell did I drink so much last night? I pull the sheet of my body to get out of bed.

Wait a minute, these aren't my sheets… This isn't my bed…or my room! What happened?!

I immediately look down to check myself. I'm still dressed, good. I never had drunken sex and that is not how I'm planning to lose my virginity. Even though it hurts my head, I force myself to remember what happened last night and figure out where am I.

Let's see, I was out with the guys. We got into a fight. Cops showed up and Stan and I ran. We ended up in… Stan! I remember now, what happened last night and what he did. He kissed me, Stan kissed me and tried to put moves on me. Did he do anything else? Is he still here?

I don't give myself enough time to find out as I quickly grab my bag sitting by the front door and my legs carried me out of the apartment, I must look like a maniac, bolting down out of building for no reason. I luckily still have my bag since I didn't go home before I met with them yesterday so I hop on the bus and head straight to Boulder U.

I find a seat on the bus near the window and I notice people staring at me. I realize that I must look like a mess, I hadn't even check to see if there were any hickies on my neck. I reach for my phone to check but I feel nothing in my pocket. Of course, I left my phone in the apartment since my drunk ass decided to use it as a precaution measure and I bolted out of there before I could remember to grab it. I facepalm as a frustrated groan escapes me. Great job past Kyle, now I have no idea what happened _and_ I'm left without a phone for the rest of the day.

I use the reflection from the bus window to try and check, there aren't any visible bite marks and I don't notice that my clothes have been tempered with. Maybe I was wrong. Nothing happened and I'm being a paranoid little ass who couldn't even trust his best friend. I hate the feeling of guilt rising, seeing how that's the more likely answer.

That still doesn't excuse the move he pulled though. I can't get it out of my head as I set off the bus at my stop and walk to my class. I'm a few minutes late but by the looks of things, I haven't missed anything too important.

The lecturer starts talking from his podium, going over the assignment he gave us yesterday. I'd normally be taking notes or at least paying close attention but the hangover and thoughts bombarding my head make dozing off a bit more tempting now.

It doesn't last long since I feel someone poking me and I hear giggling around me, the lecturer is looking right at me with his arms crossed. I seem to be caught red-handed, even though I was sitting near the back and not making a peep. He must have eyes of a fucking hawk.

"Nice of you to pay attention, Mr. Broflovski. Seeing how you find my lectures lulling, why don't you give me the definition of PTSD?"

It would have been a problem if I hadn't studied ahead of time. I clear my throat to clear any grogginess in my voice and answer, "PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a mental illness involving exposure to traumatic events in the person's life. It could affect anyone, regardless of their medical or psychiatric history. For PTSD all it takes is one event, one moment to change everything."

 _"_ _All you need is one moment…To change everything."_ I flinch at the memory and I feel myself panicking. I try to hide my racing heart and trembling hands as all eyes are on me. The lecturer seems satisfied by my answer and I sit back down. I clench my eyes shut and put my head on the table, covering my ears discreetly with my hands. I can still hear Stan whisper those words with me trapped beneath him, the breath from his lips on my ear.

No one seems to notice and the class just passes me by, I manage to catch some of what the lecturer's lesson but I'm gonna have to go off on my study notes and textbooks for this. I find a more secluded area behind a school building to calm myself down. I punch the wall and kick over a trash can in anger. I can't believe that happened, _in class_ of all times.

Fucking hell Stan, what did you do to me?

I have some time to kill before my next class so I decide to walk around to try and get that intrusive memory out of my head. Suddenly, I hear some voices from behind the communication building. Curiosity overtakes whatever I was worrying about before and I follow the sounds to its source.

"So Twitchy, you didn't seem to heed my warnings." I hear a dark and threatening voice, followed by a grunt from another voice.

"Please, I don't even know who you people are or who's this girl I stole!" The other voice cries. Is that Tweek?!

I look over the corner, keeping myself hidden from the people. I see Tweek on the ground with a figure with brown spiky hair, his back facing me as he taunts the poor blond. "Well, let's see if we can piece it together blondie. Blue hair, high cheekbones… Big sliver eyes." Tweek's coffee brown eyes widen when he makes the connection. "Ringing any bells yet, freak?" I can't even see his face but I can hear the smirk in his voice.

"Sue's your girlfriend? I didn't know, man!"

"Well now you do, but that doesn't mean I can let that go. Got a reputation to uphold."

I finally had enough and decide to step in, I shout, making my presence clear, "Back off!"

The two of them notice me and the brown hair figure turns to face me, I must say I'm caught off guard by who it is. It's the host of the podcast I was on, Jake Winters. "Oh, look. It's the small town Brainiac."

Oh joy, he remembers me. I ask him, "What are you doing to my friend?"

"Your friend has crossed a line, personally I can't let that slide."

"He said he didn't know, so back the hell off or you'll have to deal with me too." I growl. No one threatens my friends and gets away with it. I fought those guys last night and I'd do it now to help Tweek.

"The boys were right, you are feisty." He grins mischievously.

I stand in front of Tweek protectively, on guard in case Jake tries anything. Because any punches are thrown, I hear a shrill voice cut through. "Jake! What the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

Sue is here, and she looks like she's ready to kill someone. Her eyes burning with anger as she marches towards us, Jake specifically.

"Hey there, poppet. Words going around that this kid's been getting real close to you. I'm just dealing with it, that's all."

"Leave my friends alone, asshole." Her finger jabbing into his chest. "I'm not yours and you don't get to dictate who I want to be with."

"But we're the face of BC Live. We have to care about our image. I know we had a rough start but-"

Sue immediately cuts him off. "Wrong, you have to care about your image. I don't give a shit about this."

"Poppet, please-"

"And what did I say about calling me that? I. Am. Not your. 'Poppet'. If you ever fuck with Tweek or any of my friends again, I'll _pop_ something else right of out their sockets."

"Whatever."

"Dick." She mutters before she focuses her attention onto us. "Are you guys OK?"

"Yeah… I can't believe that's the same guy who hosted your podcasts."

"Jake's a good actor. We constantly act like professionals in front of others but everyone in that building knows we're a mess when it comes to teamwork." She turns to tend to Tweek, who's still frozen in shock on the ground. "Tweek, I'm so sorry that he tried to hurt you." She apologizes, hurt and sincere.

"Are you dating him?" Tweek asks her.

"NO!" She shoots up and immediately gag. "Are you kidding me? He's a fucking tool, besides he lost his chances with me."

"What?"

She shakes her head, "It doesn't matter right now. Are you guys hurt?"

"I'm fine." I answer. "Tweek, you good?"

He nods, but Sue still looks over at him with worried eyes. "Ok then." She sighs. "I gotta get ready for tonight's radio session."

"Oh right." I exclaim, coming up with an idea. "Sue, can I borrow your phone for a bit? I need to call Stan."

She digs her phone out from her jacket and dials Stan's number before heading it to me, "Here you go."

After a few rings, Stan picks up. "Hey Sue, I didn't forget. I'll be there by 4."

"Hi Stan, it's me."

"Kyle?" He asks, confused. "Dude, why are you calling from Sue's phone?"

"Because I think I left mine at the apartment last night." I explain. "Can we go get it from there tonight?"

"Oh your phone, I found it and I have it with me now." Wait he has it with him? What if he knew I was recording him to make sure he doesn't rape my sleeping body? "The battery's dead though, I'll charge it up for you and I can hand it to you after the radio session." He says, much to my relief.

"Ok, thanks Stan."

"No problem, dude."

I hang up the call and hand the phone to Sue, I soon notice that she has a grin as wide as the Cheshire cat. "So ~ what were you doing at Stan's place last night?" She asks suggestively.

We got drunk, he kissed me and pinned me to a wall. But I can't tell her that.

"Nothing!" I squeak. "We got drunk and-" Sue raises an eyebrow, that sly grin on her face getting bigger. I almost shout my defense. "-nothing like that! We just need a place to crash and we just spend the night there. Separately." For whole night, I hope.

Sue seems to be content with my answer and says that she's gonna take Tweek to the communications building to calm him down and patch up any injuries Jake might have caused. When I ask her what she'd do if Jake was there, she just responds, "I don't make threats lightly, Kyle. And I don't promise things I'm not capable of doing."

I immediately shut up after that. Yup, Tweek's in safe hands. I think to myself as I get back for my next lesson. After this, I'm gonna have to go find Stan to get my phone back.

* * *

Once class is dismissed, I pack up my stuff and start heading for the communications building. Since Stan's radio session isn't over yet, I'll go to the studio and wait there. I'm caught off guard when I notice that there's a small crowd of girls surrounding the lit window in front of the building. I look over and I see why. That's the window to Stan's booth and he seems to notice me among his adoring fangirls.

He gives a small wave and flashes a toothy grin at my direction, which gives the fangirls crazy, each claiming that Stan's wave was for her but I know it's my eyes he locked on when he did that. It makes me feel special, knowing that out of all these girls dying for his attention, he gives it all to me.

I shake my head, chasing that thought out of my mind. Focus, Kyle. You're still mad at Stan for touching you like that last night. The only reason you're here is for your phone. Deep breaths…All right.

I signal to Stan, making a phone gesture with my hand. He catches on and starts playing a song so he can step away from the booth and hand my phone over to Sue. Sue makes it to me with ease and hands me my phone, "Stan told me to tell you he's sorry he can't give it to you himself." I nod at Stan to show that it's OK. Probably for the best because I don't know what these girls would do if Stan walked out of the safety of the booth right now.

"Ya know those girls are a little delusional but I know who that smile was for." Sue winks, causing me to blush at her words. She laughs as she goes back into the building to do her job.

I clench the phone in my hand. I got it, I got what I came here for so I should just leave now. But something in me convinces me to watch Stan's performance. Maybe for a little bit.

Stan looks like he's really enjoying himself. He doesn't DJ like Kenny does at Styx. Kenny is more hyper and in-your-face, Stan's style is more casual, more playful. I watch as he does a little dance in his booth when Psyko Underground plays, with little fist pumps and everything, and I can't help but crack a smile. The girls seem entertained too as they squeal with every little gesture Stan does.

The song ends and the next song on the playlist starts. Stan sits back down and seems to be on his phone. About a minute later, I feel my phone vibrate. I have a text message.

SM: Hey dud, I see u got ur phone back. U going bk or r u gonna keep me company?

I roll my eyes at his message. Kenny and Stan know that texts like these are my pet peeve but they keep doing it anyways.

KB: Hey, yeah I'm heading back in a bit. I doubt you need me, seeing all those girls ready to worship the ground you walk on.

SM: U jelly? ;)

KB: Super jelly, I should leave now before I turn green with envy.

SM: Ur eyes r green enuf.

SM: Srsly though, dont wrry abut those girls, ky. They dont know me like u do (:

Ky? Did he just call me Ky? It's probably just a typo.

KB: Whatever, Stan. I'll see you back at the house.

* * *

I wave him goodbye before heading toward the bus station. Thinking back to Stan's performance and our messages, I start smiling like an idiot. He's such a dork. I should be mad at him for the shit he pulled last night but I just couldn't stay mad at Stan, I never could.

I get onto the bus and I reach for my phone again. Remembering the video I record last night, I pull out my earphones and let my finger linger on the screen. I'm a little scared now, I mean it's fine if nothing happened, but what if something did? I'd never be able to look at Stan the same way again. My body seems to make the decision for me and my finger drops onto the screen, starting the video.

I watch myself collapse onto the bed and snuggle into it like it's my own. God, I'm never letting myself get that drunk ever again. About 20 minutes later, I hear the front door open and footsteps getting closer. Stan appears at the door and just stands there for a moment before walking in. He moves closer to my helpless sleeping body and sits on the bed, right next to me.

I feel myself tense up as I notice how close Stan was to me, but he's not doing anything. He's just sitting there watching me bundling myself in my sleep which should be extremely creepy to me, except the way he's looking at me seems almost loving and precious, as if he's watching a kitten. He lightly touches the bit of my hair that escaped my lopsided hat and-

I feel my eyes widen and my jaw drop. Did I just _purr_?! I play it again to make sure. Holy shit, I purred under his touch. He seems to notice it too as he smirks at my reaction. I throw my head back onto the seat as I close my eyes and groan in embarrassment. God it's so humiliating, I just wanna bury myself in a hole now. After a long period of silence I hear Stan getting up and I watch him walk out of the room. He doesn't seem to return and the video cuts off, probably from my battery dying.

That's it? I sit back and think about what I just watched. First of all, I'm never getting that drunk again. Second, drunk me is very affectionate. Third, I was wrong about Stan… Well, I wasn't wrong per se. I didn't think he'd actually hurt me, but that doubt was there and now I feel awful about it. The video repeats itself and I'm watching Stan looking at me lovingly again. He looks so protective and I'm surprisingly OK with the idea of Stan being protective of me.

My phone rings again from another text message. I hope it's not Stan, I don't think I can talk to him now after what I just watched. Huh… It's Kenny and he just sent a mass text.

_Clr ur schedules 4 Spring Break, guys. We r going 2 Hawaii ;D_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kyle's emotions right now are a little bipolar, his heart feels one way while his brain is telling him something else and until Kyle can decide which one to listen to, he's not moving anywhere quick. Next time, we join the boys as they go on their spring break trip.
> 
> For those curious about the song Stan was dancing to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REafczZpeHs
> 
> Kyle is so much fun to write for, I literally finished wrote most of this chapter within 3 hours. It's just so easy to get into his frame of mind. Writing his reactions towards Stan though requires me to go back and try to recapture the feelings in the drama and how I think Kyle would feel and act.
> 
> There's a reason the gang are going to Hawaii, an old friend to be precise. Those who can guess who it is before the next chapter gets a pixel cookie.
> 
> I might take a little break from this story to focus on my finals. Believe me I don't want to but anyone in university would know that March is a bitch to go through, so don't worry if you don't see a chapter up next week, I'll make sure to keep up. I will finish this story and I'm not forgetting it until it's done.
> 
> I've actually been posting the release dates for my chapters in my profile, so I'll let you know if anything changes or when the next chapter is coming up.
> 
> As always, feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS.
> 
> Take care, Loves


	29. The Boys Are Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1 of the Spring Break chapters. Conflicts arise along with new feelings, the gang are going to Hawaii for spend the holiday with some familiar faces.

**Kenny's POV**

"God, I'm so excited for this trip. A 3 day getaway in Hawaii. No school, no work and we can finally get away from this cold for a while." Charlie chirps in excitement. I hasn't seen her this happy since our date 3 weeks ago. Her aunt just dropped her off at our place. Now we're just waiting for Sue before we head to the airport.

"Speak for yourself, this feels like summer for me." A young 13-year old boy says, walking down the stairs from his brother's room.

Stan shrugs in response, "I don't know about you guys, but I can't go around wearing T-shirts yet."

"Aww, you're losing your South Park charm Stan." I hang my arm over his shoulder. "Next thing you know, the CIA will come crashing in the window and they won't even acknowledge you."

"Don't jinx it Kenny." Kyle says as he come out of the kitchen, slapping my face with today's paper before tossing it onto the kitchen counter and turning to his little brother on the staircase. "As for you, Ike, pipe down. I still can't believe you got Ma to make me take you to Hawaii."

"But Kyle~" Ike whines playfully, batting his eyes at his brother in hopes of charming him over. "I'm your little brother and we're supposed to be bonding."

"15 minutes since you've been here and I already throw you onto a train to Nebraska." Kyle rolls his eyes at his brother's antics, but the small smile I see on his face lets me know he's happy to spend some time with Ike. Seeing the Broflovski brothers together is making me miss Karen, I wish I could've afforded to take her with us too.

After a while, we hear a car horn blaring loud outside our house. Sure enough it's Sue with her van she borrowed, we thought that it'd be easier if we all went to the airport in one car instead of multiple cars going to the airport. "Sorry I'm late guys, I had to make sure Kate could handle everything and that Jake wouldn't give her trouble." Sue explains, slightly out of breath. After she regains her composure, she notices Ike among us and reaches her hand out to greet him. "You're Ike, right? Kyle told me his brother was joining us."

"If you call sweet-talking our mom into letting him come then sure." Kyle mutters under his breath as he starts carrying our bags into the trunk, eliciting laughter from us as we all start to help.

After we load all our bags into Sue's van, we all get in with Sue and Stan in the front, Kyle and Ike in the middle row, and Tweek, Charlie and me in the back.

"So, Ike. Kyle and the guys told me about their lives in South Park. How is it now that you're still living in it?"

"Well, they've had crazier adventures than I had." Ike says, "After they left, things kinda mellowed down a bit. We still have our occasional celebrity death threats but so far the only one who keep doing it was Tom Cruise because he had to prove that and I quote, 'I'm not a fudge packer and no shot-nosed kid with a poofball hat is gonna call me otherwise.'"

"Aww really?!" Stan groans and I can see him pinching the bridge of his nose through the rearview mirror. "I moved away already by then and it took me months to get him out of my closet."

"Didn't stop him from trying last month, I think he's more of a joke nowadays." Ike shrugs, "No one really seems to give a shit anymore."

"Enough about Tom Cruise." I cut him off, I want to know. "What about the other? What about Karen?"

Karen and I are still closer than ever, we call each other once a month to save on phone bills but that doesn't mean I know everything. Karen's a sweet girl but she never lets me know that she needs help, she thinks it would be a burden and sometimes she doesn't tell me things like when her landlord raising her rent hoping to force her out or when someone harasses her. It hurts but I know she's doing it for my sake, and her guardian angel will step in whenever he can.

"Karen's fine, I've been keeping an eye out for her when we're at school." He reassures me. "Everyone knows that Karen McCormick is off limits." This takes some weight off my shoulders, I know Ike wouldn't lie and I know the Broflovskis have been helping Karen under Kyle and Ike's request.

"That includes you too." I warn him. "Don't make yourself a target, Ike."

"Yes, sir." He says quickly with a squeak and a gulp. "So… enough about me and South Park, what about you guys? Kyle told me a lot about Charlie but I haven't heard much about you, Sue."

"What's there to talk about me? I'm just a simple girl from San Francisco." She answers modestly.

"Who also happens to manage most of the student programs in the communication sector." Stan adds.

"What about those two people you talked about? Kate and Jake?" Ike asks, Kyle punches his shoulder, probably for being a nosy little bastard.

Sue doesn't seem to care as she answers Ike's questions, "Kate is my best friend. She's my second in command and an awesome makeup artist-"

"I can vouch for that." Stan pipes in again.

"-As for Jake, he's an asshole." Sue continues with a slight tone of annoyance. "I liked him a few years ago but he shot me down, and now that I became who I am now, he thinks I'll fall into his arms and become his trophy girlfriend. Well, I can happily say that this is the most satisfying 'fuck you' I ever give someone." She finishes with pride in her voice and a confident smile.

"Damn girl." Ike marvels. He turns to Kyle and asks, "Kyle, how do you always get to meet these kinds of people?"

"When you can't take five steps without accidently getting onto the government's watch list." Kyle says flatly.

Charlie looks at me and asks, "Are you guys really on watch lists?"

"With half the stuff we did, I'd be surprised if we weren't."

"Man, I wish I can put my family on a watch list." She huffs and crosses her arms in front of her chest.

Apparently, Charlie's brother, Danny, did come looking for her and wanted to 'take her home'. Her aunt wasn't having any of it so she called the cops. Charlie had been dealing with interviews with the police and Child Protection Services, and has been stressed out. I'm glad her Aunt Francine let her come on this trip with us.

I nod in agreement and pull her in for a kiss for comfort. Her face brightens up a bit and it feels so good to know that I can make that frown of hers go away. I see Kyle peaking over at us with a blank stare. I clear my throat to get him out of his trance.

"I'm sorry, I'm still getting used to this." He explains, rubbing the back of his neck. He's probably embarrassed that he got caught staring.

"Funny how life works, huh?" I say with a smug as I pull my princess closer to me.

"You never gave me any details about that date, Charlie." Sue suddenly prods.

Charlie raises an eyebrow, "I didn't take you for the gossip girl."

"I work in communication, honey. Gossip is my bread and butter." Sue says in her bright voice, "So you gonna spill or is lover boy here gonna give me his version?"

"We met up and went to see Split." Charlie answers. "The movie has some interesting ideas but it wasn't that great."

"I kept saying that we shoulda gone see Fifty Shades Darker." I point out.

"That movie's worse!" Charlie shouts in disapproval.

"No one who goes into that one actually watches the movie."

"Thanks, but it's just the first date. I'd much rather watch the movie without making out and having your hands all over me, Kenny. And by what Kyle warned me, it's probably for the best we didn't watch that."

Fucking Kyle… Was this his revenge for making him dance that night? I kick the back of his seat in a petty attempt of revenge.

We make it to the airport with about half an hour to spare thanks to Kyle's meticulous planning and constant nagging. We get our tickets and get everything checked in.

"I still can't believe he's covering for our entire trip. Our tickets, our accommodations, everything." Kyle mutters in disbelieve, even with our boarding passes in hand.

"He's got plenty of points stored up in his Mahalo rewards card." I state.

"I still can't believe Butters is from Hawaii." Stan gawk in disbelief.

"Trust me, I was there." I inform Stan, "He had to go through trials and he got a whole ceremony with those drinks with the little paper umbrellas, just for him."

"Kenny and Butters became pretty close friends after that trip." Kyle pipes in, "Butters was basically our unofficial fifth member of our group. They even stayed in touch after Butters moved out of South Park."

"He moved out? How come?" Stan asks.

Kyle and I look at each other before he sighs, "Family issues. You should ask Butters, I don't think it's really our place to say. Anyways, he moved to Canada after junior year in high school and lives with his girlfriend."

"Butters has a girlfriend?!" Stan almost shouts in shock, I guess that's more surprising to him that Butter's being from Hawaii.

"Yeah, he's been dating a Canadian called Charlotte for about 8 years now." I respond, ignoring Stan's embarrassing little outburst. "They hit a few rough patches but from what Butters told me, they've gotten closer ever since he moved in with them."

"Un-fucking-believable." Stan sighs in disbelief. "Butters has a more stable relationship than me."

"Wendy was a bitch, Stan." Kyle pats Stan on the shoulder. "A cheater isn't worth your time or memory."

"Oh, you have gotta be fucking kidding meh!" I pale as I hear an all-too-familiar voice screeching from behind us.

We look behind us and Stan, realizing who it is, now mirrors my expression, "Oh…no…"

There they are, standing right in front of us. The asshole who called me about half a year ago to fix Stan and Kyle's friendship and the whore who broke Stan's heart.

Kyle on the other hand, wastes no time lighting his short-temper. "What the hell are you doing here, fatass?!"

"I'm not fat, I'm big boned!" Cartman shoots out his usual response before pulling Wendy closer to him. "For your information, we're going on vacation with my hot girlfriend. We got a free, all-expense paid trip to Hawaii. But that's probably a wet dream to you, you cheap Jew."

I look over at Stan to see his expression harden, Kyle seems to have figured it out and groans, "Oh my god, please don't tell me that Butters invited you."

"What are you talking about?" Cartman asks before making the connection himself, "God-fucking-dammit Butters!"

"Uh-uh, I ain't spending my spring break around Cartman." Kyle says firmly as he walks away.

I run and catch up to Kyle as he's about to walk out of the terminal. "Kyle, please."

"Did you know about this, Kenny?" Kyle looks at me with a sharp gaze. He's really mad, I've gotta be defuse this quick or I might die before I get onto the plane.

"No, Butters just called up and asked us to come to Hawaii, he never mentioned anything about Cartman." I respond calmly and truthfully. I didn't know that Cartman was gonna be here, otherwise I would have planned things a lot differently.

"Well, you can tell Butters that I appreciate that he had me in mind but I am NOT about to spend three days of supposed relaxation dealing with Cartman again." Kyle says firmly, standing his ground. "I had enough of his shit when we were kids."

"Kyle, come on." I'm two steps away from getting on my knees and begging him. "Butters really wanted all of us to come. Granted, I didn't think all of _us_ would include Cartman but its Butters. Please don't make me let him down."

Kyle goes into deep thought and he seems to be calming down, judging by his slumping shoulders and his softening gaze. "Fine, but help keep me in check otherwise I'm not sure if I can make it onto the plane without strangling him."

"Deal."

We walk back to the waiting area, I can feel Cartman's glare on us and I can tell Kyle is fighting to keep his temper in check.

"Ok Kyle, I talked to Cartman and seeing how we're all gonna be there for the next 3 days." Stan now acting as the mediator, pulling both Kyle and Cartman over for a handshake for truce"Let's not try to kill each other."

"Fine, I'm doing this for Butters." Kyle complies with a huff.

"Psh, you would. You fag." Cartman sneers but does the same.

Ok, now he's really testing Kyle's limits. I notice Kyle clenching his hand tighter until his knuckles turn white, crushing Cartman's pudgy hand. Cartman is obviously in pain but he isn't screaming like he used to.

"Kyle…" Stan warns him. He take a deep breath, I guess he really is gonna keep his word and try to play nice.

Kyle let go of Cartman's hand, now red with his tight grip. Cartman shoots another glare and he backs away towards Wendy. Same old Cartman, all bark and no bite.

Charlie utters in disgust, "So… that's the infamous Eric Cartman."

"I am so glad that he had that level of professionalism when I first talked to him because now I just want throw him off the plane once we take off." Sue shake her head in agreement.

"Join the club." Kyle growls as Stan pulls him away.

Luckily, Stan and Ike have been keeping Kyle distracted by talking and keeping his mind off the scenario we just got thrown into. Sue and Tweek are listening to her iPod, while Charlie and I are sitting across from them, cuddling and giving each other pecks on the cheek. Wendy notices this and makes a remark. "I'm surprised you have a girlfriend. I didn't think anyone would want someone as selfish as you."

"Wendy, leave Charlie out of this." I warn her. "What happened between me and Bebe is our business, it has nothing to do with her. Or you."

I see Stan and Kyle trading glances, Stan looks clueless as Kyle just shakes his head to let him know now's not the best time to talk about it.

"I'm sorry, you weren't picking up any of her calls and she's been trying like crazy to talk to you." Wendy reiterates. "I'm just looking out for my best friend."

"Leave him alone." Charlie jumps in to defend me. "Kenny told me about Bebe and honestly you can't blame Kenny completely for this."

"He got her pregnant and wanted her to throw her future away for him! He called her a murderer and a monster!"

"And Bebe isn't innocent either." Charlie counters. "You can't make Kenny into the bad guy for being willing to take responsibility and take care of her."

"You don't get it do you?" Wendy mocks, almost sounding like she's laughing at Charlie, "I'm calling Kenny selfish because all he's thinking about is what he wants, he wants a kid so he wouldn't give a thought to what Bebe wanted. All Kenny wanted was a woman who'd pump out babies and waits on him; Bebe wanted a future outside of South Park and she deserved it."

"You're calling Bebe's actions, aborting their child without even consulting him, selfless?"

"At least, it's for a good cause." Wendy defends, "She's gonna become a better person by getting further education while Kenny is gonna stay the living example of white trash."

"Yeah, and you're a living example of a hypocrite." Charlie roasts.

Wendy's face is now glaring red from anger, "You little-"

"ENOUGH!" I shout, finally fed up with their bickering. "I'll talk to Bebe when I'm ready, now can we please drop it?"

That seems to stop their cat fight. Wendy walks away with Cartman chasing after her and Charlie sits back down with a face of anger and frustration.

"The nerve of her…" Charlie cusses but looking over at me with a small, worrying frown. "Kenny, are you mad at me?"

I sigh, "No, I'm just annoyed at it all." Charlie looks at her feet in guilt, I didn't mean to make her feel bad, "That being said, it was really cool watching you fight for me." I pull her towards me with a smile as I reward my warrior with a kiss.

She gladly reciprocates before she pulls away and says, "I'm not as strong as Sue or Kyle but they're crazy if they think I'm gonna sit there while she insults you like that."

Hearing her say that just makes me want to kiss her more. God, how did I get so lucky with her?

* * *

**Kyle's POV**

The flight is thankfully uneventful after what happened in the airport, I'm surprised security didn't try to throw us out. We get off the plane and a few girls put leis on us to welcome us. We walk off to claim our bags and look for Butters and Charlotte who are supposed to be here to pick us all up. The one thing I noticed is that Charlie doesn't look as cheerful as she did before their argument with Wendy. Did what Wendy say really bug her that much?

The arrival hall is full of people and name signs but somehow we manage to find Butters and Charlotte near the end of the walkway.

"Heya fellas, I'm so happy y'all made it." Butters greets us with his big innocent grin. He hasn't changed much since graduation day, he looks a little taller, just about the same height as me. He's wearing a light blue Hawaiian shirt with a black bead necklace and shorts that makes him look more like a tourist than a native.

"Nice to see you too, Butters." I greet him back with a quick hug. He does the same for Tweek before Kenny pulls him into a tight bear hug.

Kenny effuses, "How's Canada treating you, Butterball?"

"We've been great, Ken." Butter replies with his voice strained with Kenny's hug. He takes a few breaths after Kenny lets him go before addresses everyone else, "Stan, Ike, it's so good to see you two again. Especially you, Stan. Oh golly, I haven't see ya in 8 years. And are these the friends you told me about?"

"Yeah, this is Sue and Charlie. Guys, this is Leopold Stotch but as you've noticed, everyone calls him Butters." I step in to introduce them.

"It's been a while." Stan says with a smile. "I didn't even know you moved, or that you now have a girlfriend."

"Oh right, I haven't introduced you guys." Butters suddenly exclaims, "Charlotte, dear, this is my old pal, Stan from South Park. Everyone, this is Charlotte and actually, she's my fiancé now." Butter declares, his face practically beaming with joy. "You're looking at the future Mrs. Scotch."

"Holy shit! You proposed?!" Kenny gawks with his face beaming with pride and joy for our usually timid friend.

"Yeah but my proposal was a bit rushed, so I didn't get a ring in time to do it."

"Because well, he asked me the minute I told him that we're gonna have a baby together."

If Butter's announcement made us gawk, Charlotte's one made our jaws hit the ground, Kenny stutters in shock, "Y-you're pregnant?!"

"Yup, for two months now. Apparently, he had the thought of asking me for a while but he didn't get everything set up in time, and the thought of us starting a family together, he just got down on one knee and popped the question." Charlotte answers with a warm smile on her face as Butters pulls her closer to him and places his hand on her slightly noticeable bump.

Kenny recovers from the shock first and approaches the couple before asking softly, "May I feel it?"

"Sure."

Kenny gently places his hand onto her bump under her guidance. Kenny's face turns into a mix of grief and amazement. Everyone crowds around the couple, congratulating Butters or talking to Charlotte, everyone but Charlie who's standing in place with a bitter smile on her face as Kenny looks over at her.

Butters chuckles before breaking up the reunion, "Ok, guys. Let's head over to the house."

Butters manage to rent a whole house for us to stay in and a van bigger than the one Sue has, it can fit all of us in, even Cartman, which really says a lot. Man, what can't Butters' reward card pay for? Seeing how he's paying for our vacation, I'm not gonna question it.

Although I was mad about my vacation plans being destroyed by Cartman's presence, I can't help but feel at ease. The nature scenery and the easygoing energy of this place is already making its effect on me. Maybe this trip won't be so bad after all.

After half an hour of small talk between the girls minus Wendy, we make it to the house and I've gotta say it's pretty good for a house paid completely with a rewards card. It reminds me of Stan's place but way bigger, it's a five bedroom apartment with just enough beds for everyone, a well furbished kitchen and it's located right next to the bench.

"Well, Charlotte and I have the master bedroom and we got a room with three singles if you guys are uncomfortable sharing beds."

"Don't worry Butters, Charlie and I are very comfortable sharing." Kenny says mischievously as he rubs his nose onto Charlie's cheek, making her turn a little pink.

"Whatever, Wendy and I will be taking this one." Cartman walks over to a bedroom with his bag, claiming it.

"I call the single bed." Ike and Sue call out at the same time, Tweek quickly following suit.

"But what about me and Stan?" I question, even though I can kinda guess the answer.

Sue just throws her arms around our shoulders and sticks her head right between ours, "I'm sure you two don't mind sharing a room and a bed together."

My eyes widen in shock, me and Stan sharing a bed?! We haven't done that since we were kids. I open my mouth to object before Stan stops me, "Come on, dude. It's easier not to argue against Sue. Many have tried, few have ever succeeded."

I still feel like trying but something tells me Stan's right and I shallow my argument with a sigh of defeat

If it was a month ago, I wouldn't have mind but ever since that night, especially after I've seen the video, I've been pretty avoidant of spending time with Stan alone. It's not that I don't trust him, he didn't do anything to me before. I can trust him. Don't panic, Kyle. Don't panic! I'm totally panicking right now! God, stop being like Tweek! Get a grip, Kyle. This is Stan, your super best friend.

Right. No matter what, Stan's my super best friend and he'd never do anything to hurt me. We toss our bags into the room and walk back out into the living room, we can work out the sleeping arrangements and details later.

"So what's our plan?" I ask Butters.

"Well, today we're touring the city, seeing the sights. Tomorrow, I'm planning a hike on a pretty popular nature trail and we'll going to a nice luau restaurant for dinner." I notice that Stan and Kenny look really excited for that, weird. "The third day we can just spend time at the bench."

"Fuck waiting for the last day, let's go there now." Cartman barks."We can go shopping later."

I normally would disagree because it's Cartman but everyone else seems to be on board. We guys got changed pretty quickly so we head for the beach first. I'll give Hawaii one thing, the postcard pictures don't lie. The ocean view is beautiful and the sand feels so warm and soft under our feet. I take in the view while Kenny and Cartman dive right into the water.

The girls come out soon after and it's amusing to watch their jaws drop, Tweek especially, and I can see why. Sue is wearing a two-piece red bikini, her high ponytail has been let down and her long wavy blue hair now mimics the sea, making her look like a mermaid. I'm gay and even I can acknowledge how hot she looks.

As much of a bitch she is, Wendy looks pretty good in hers too, it's a two piece which looks more modest than Sue's, with a top that stops at her stomach and black swim shorts. Charlotte's is the most simple with a basic looking one-piece but seeing that she's carrying another human life inside her, it's probably for the best.

Surprisingly, I don't see Charlie. She was so excited to go here and show off the new swimsuit that she bought when she and Sue went shopping. Kenny seems to notice too as he gets out of the water and starts looking around for her.

"Don't worry, Kenny. I'll look for her." I say as I get up and pat the sand off my shorts

He nods reassured as he goes back to join the others as I start walking back to the house. I soon see Charlie, walking out towards the beach. She isn't wearing a swimsuit and she has her head hanging down.

"Charlie, you doing OK?" I ask her with concern, her head shoots up as she hears my voice and that slight desolate look in her eyes gets replaced with a fake smile.

"Yup, perfectly fine." She answers with fake enthusiasm.

"Why aren't you wearing your swimsuit?" I point out. "You sounded pretty excited to show it off to Kenny when we were packing."

Her eyes avert away from mine as she responds with a small voice. "It…I just think it doesn't look that good on me."

"How come? Sue said you loved it when you bought it."

"Maybe I'll wear it when I feel up for it, right now I just wanna sit here and watch the sea." She cuts me off, ending the topic there. "You can go join them if you want." She finds a shady area under a tree and sits down onto the sand.

"Are you kidding me? I'm not going in there." I say as I sit next to her. "After that pee incident, I wouldn't go near a public pool unless I had to and the ocean is just the world's largest toilet bowl. No way am I swimming around in fish piss."

She smiles at my response but it leaves as quickly as it comes as she stares blankly towards the others, playing in the ocean. Kenny and Cartman are having a water fight but Sue, Ike and Stan. Stan seems to be acting as the protector as he stands in front of Ike, shielding him from their attacks.

It makes me think back to that video of Stan watching over me, he looked like he was sheltering me and just thinking about it makes me feel all warm and relaxed. I'm so used to being the voice of reason or the one who looks out for others, it's so nice to be the one being taken care of and Stan has always been the one taking care of me, even when we were kids.

"You still with me, Kyle?" Charlie's voice cuts my train of thought as I see her looking at me.

"Oh yeah" I respond, quickly shaking myself out of my daze, but my eyes still on Stan.

"Yeah, I wouldn't keep my eyes off those abs either. Those blue eyes and that smile just make him look even better." She responds dreamily.

"Huh?" I look at her with shock and confusion.

"I mean, Kenny always looks awesome." She says with pride before looking at me with a smug smile. "But I don't think it's Kenny you're interested in, huh Kyle?"

"What do you mean?" I ask her, both curious and confused as to what she means.

"You know, both you and Stan are pretty perceptive people except when it comes to each other." She says smugly before flashing a mischievous smile at me, "You were drooling at Stan."

She thinks I'm drooling over him? I mean, Stan is pretty good looking. His azure blue eyes look stunning against the sea, his build making him look strong but not intimidating and now that he's not wearing a shirt, I can clearly see that...

Wait, am I doing it right now?! Shit, deny it Kyle. Deny it!

"No I'm not." I say defiantly as I look away from her and Stan, even though the warmth on my face clearly indicates that I'm blushing.

"Yeah, and I'm a cantaloupe." She replies sarcastically. "Kyle, there's nothing wrong with that. I'm honestly a little surprised after Kenny told me about your relationship anxiety, but it does make sense that you'd have feelings for the person who's most important to you."

"Charlie, I don't really trust feelings anymore. And I don't even want to think about Stan that way."

"Don't or don't want to?" Her smile gets bigger as she turns my words against me.

"I DON"T!" I jump up and shout so loudly that the others stop playing and look over towards us. I realize what I just did and I slump back down in humiliation and defeat.

"Ok, tell me when you come back out of your closet, Kyle." She pats me on the back.

"Oh fuck off." I groan.

"Hey, Ike. Had enough of the water?"

"Meh, snow and ice are more my thing."

"Hey, princess." Kenny walks up and sits next to Charlie. "How are you feeling?"

"Better." She simpers, "Sorry I worried you."

"It's cool, you wanna go back?" He asks as he wraps his arms around her

"Let's sit here for a bit, the sun's setting." She says as she plays the affection girlfriend and starts snuggling in Kenny's hold.

I chuckle at their sweetly-cringy antics as I get up and start tugging Ike away from the two. "Come on, Ike. Let's leave the two lovebirds alone."

"Remember what I said Kyle. Call me when you come back out." Charlie shouts, much to everyone's confusion and my embarrassment.

Ike raises an eyebrow as I quicken my pace. "What's she on about?"

"Forget it." I look down to hide my blushing face, I hope Ike doesn't notice. "I never really asked much about how home was like."

"Everything's pretty much the same." Ike informs, "I've been keeping an eye on Dad to stop him from trolling again and Ma still manages to find something new to fight for. She's been asking for you to come back home, you know?"

"I'll be going back to South Park in a few days-" I remind him before he cuts me off.

"To drop me off. _Not_ to visit them." He states with an accusing tone.

"You know I love you guys but I can't deal with Ma right now." "You know how controlling she is and all she'll want to do is try to set me up and fix my 'issue', like it's that simple."

"I'm not saying she's perfect or that her methods are right, but we're family. Don't treat her as anything less."

"I don't treat her any less, she's my mother and I'll always love her."

"Ok, so can we expect you to come home for Hanukkah _this_ year?"

"Alright, set the table for four." I reluctantly comply.

"Make that six." Now Ike is smiling just like Charlie was, "I've been noticing how you've been eye-fucking Stan."

Not Ike too…What the hell? Everyone is taking this way out of context.

"I'm not eye-fucking him, I don't even feel that way about him." I cross my arms.

"Trying to lie to a genius?" Ike clicks his tongue, "You're a bigger idiot than I thought, big brother."

"Do you want me to play 'Kick the baby' again?" I spit in annoyance before I recount what he said. "Wait, you said six. Who else were you counting?"

"Oh…" His eyes cast downwards and he rubs the back of his neck as he utters his answer, "Umm, Karen."

"Karen McCormick?" I look at him puzzled. "You're inviting her over for Hanukkah?

"Yeah, we've been together for a while now."

"You're dating Karen?" My eyes widen in surprise. "Holy shit, how did I not know this? How does _Kenny_ not know this?"

"Karen's gonna tell Kenny herself and I'm telling you right now."

"How long have you two been together?" I ask.

"For about 2 months now."

"Good luck winning Kenny over then, buddy." I pat him on the shoulder for encouragement and luck, "Last thing we need is Mysterion coming over to kick your ass."

* * *

**Stan's POV**

After our trip to the beach, we didn't have enough time or energy to enjoy the city so we just decide to eat a nearby burger shack. It might not have been very 'Hawaiian', but food when you're hungry is always good food. As everyone starts going back into their rooms, Kyle and I retreat back into ours "It's nice to see Butters again, I haven't seen him in so long and I didn't know how much I missed after I left."

"You don't know the half of it, but this is the first time I've been to Hawaii too." Kyle mutters as he lays on the bed, "I like it here, it's warm and peaceful."

"Yeah, I could really use some inspiration here to write a new song." I pull out my laptop and a ukulele I bought specify for this trip. "I haven't been writing much since everything starts. Actually, I haven't done a vlog in a while either."

Kyle looks up at me as I turn my laptop on. "Are you filming one now?"

"Yeah dude." I nod before starting up my camera. "Hey, people." I greet. "It's Stan here, sorry I haven't been online for a while but a bunch of stuff has happened. For those who missed out on my vlog last month, big news number one: I moved to a new place closer to campus. Big news number two, Wendy and I are officially done. And the best news of all, I got my best friend back." I move my head a bit so that Kyle appears on camera. "Say hi, Kyle."

Kyle sits up and entertains me with a drowsy smile and a small wave. "Hey internet."

"Some of you guys might know Kyle, I talk about him a lot and now here he is, red hair and all." I introduce him as I playfully ruffle his hair, now free from his ushanka.

"Whatever dude, stop messing with my hair." He complains as he pulls my hand out of his curls. "The last thing I need is for it to go back to its Jewfro days."

"Nah, your hair is always fluffy."

"And I'm supposed to be the gay one here."

"Kyle, are you labeling me?" I gasp in mock-horror.

"I would never." He rolls in eyes in amusement before getting off the bed. "Keep talking to your camera, I'm gonna check on Ike."

With that, Kyle walks out of the room, leaving me to finish my Vlog, "So yeah, that's Kyle Broflovski. My super best friend… and the most important person to me. We've lost touch after I moved away but I'm glad that we worked things out and we're stronger than ever. Anyways, my friends and I are spending a few days in Hawaii and I've never been happier. Even with me being on the campus radio and all the personal drama happening here, I'll try and keep you guys updated. That's all for now, take care guys. Have a good day and good night."

Thanks to it being a vlog, I didn't have to do much editing before uploading it onto my channel. I leave it be and walk out onto the yard, enjoying the warm tropical air and the smell of the sea. Even after I moved to Denver, I never got to go anywhere with my family, thanks to mom needing to provide for the both of us. I'm happy that I at least get to share this with my friends.

I lay down on the grass, taking it all in until I hear Butters walking into the yard, "Heya, Stan."

"Oh hey Butters." I sit up to talk to him

"I know I said it at the airport but it really is great seeing ya again after all these years." He smiles. "We really missed ya."

"Sorry I never came back." It still makes me feel horrible to know how badly I thought of the world when there were people who were worrying about me and the people I never reconnected with.

"It's Ok, Kyle took it the hardest." Butters laments, "I could only remember a handful of times I saw Kyle smile after you left."

"So, Kyle told me you moved after high school, and that you had a girlfriend while I was gone."

"Yeah, Eric set me and Charlotte up while she lived in South Park." Butters explains, that explains why Butters invited Cartman, I guess. "But she moved back after a while, and I moved to Canada to live with her after graduation. I'm currently in a state university in Toronto, I wanna join the Child Protection Service. I don't wanna see any more kids suffering from their families."

"What do your parents think about it?"

Butters looks at me in confusion before he sighs, "I'm guessing they didn't tell you then."

"About your family? Kyle said it wasn't their place."

"He might be a self-righteous jerk at times but Kyle's a respectable man." He takes a deep breath before continuing. "My folks spilt up again, apparently dad didn't stop going to bathhouses after the last time we found out and my mom couldn't take it. She tried to pull the same stunt she did before but this time I knew better, and I never wanted to go back to her again." Butter finishes with a bitter tone.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

Butter looks up at me and smiles. "Ya got nothing to be sorry for. Besides, last Kenny told me she kinda lost it and got addicted to member berries. But I didn't go back and promised myself I wouldn't see foot back into Colorado again."

"Do you ever miss South Park?" I suddenly ask him, I don't know why I did. Maybe part of me misses it and I wanted to know if Butters feels the same.

"Sometimes." He answers. "I'm never going back there but I can't say that I'll ever forget it. I guess, we South Park folk are just destined to a life of madness."

"Probably." I agree.

We sit there in silence and listen to the waves washing over the beach, until we hear the sliding door open behind us. Kenny walks into the yard, I think he was looking for us.

"There you guys are." He blurts with relief, checking around for anyone before whispering, "Is everything ready for tomorrow?"

Butters and I both smile knowingly, "Dude, it took me a while to learn how to play the ukulele but I think I'm good." I reply, hardly able to keep the excitement out of my voice.

Kenny and Butters nod in approval, "We can meet up and practice a little after everyone else is asleep." Butters suggests.

"Cool, see you then." I nod before I hear someone coming out of their rooms, we split up for now as I prepare for our rehearsal. Tomorrow's gonna be great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 1 of their holiday and the world ain't pulling any punches on them, next time we follow them onto day 2 and what Stan, Kenny and Butters have planned. 
> 
> Holy shit, this took longer than I thought. 3 days straight of working on this in between classes but I delivered. I know I promised two and I'll try to get it posted when I'm finished with it. Please be patient :c
> 
> I've been meaning to find a way to introduce Ike into the group and I hope this is a pretty good introduction for him. Also whoever guessed that it was Butters, you get a cookie. c:  
> Originally I thought of having Butters in Tweek's place but it didn't work well so I changed it so that he was with Charlotte (If you don't know is Butter's girlfriend from 'Where My Country Gone?'). If you didn't know the stunt that Butter's is talking about, watch 'Butter's Own Episode'.
> 
> I am sorry for this but it's probably gonna try and do as much as I can before I have to worry about Finals. Everything will go back to normal after that unless some shit happens, fingers crossed that nothing happens.
> 
> As always, feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	30. The Hawaiian Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys put Butters’ surprise in action. The girls are confused, the guys are stressed out. What else could go wrong?

**Kyle's POV**

_Beep- Beep- Beep-_

Ugh… Alarm… Must've forgotten to turn it off my phone. I groan as I try to reach for my phone, but I can't really move, something's weighing me down. What is that?

I struggle to open my eyes, using my one free arm to rub my eyes open. I see an arm over me and on my chest along with a warm feeling pressed onto my back. It doesn't take long for me to realize that Stan is moved closer to me in his sleep and he's now spooning me.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised, I remember that Stan loves taking up the bed when we had sleepovers but now it's different. We aren't a couple of kids anymore and this shouldn't make me feel like I'm trapped in a tight bundle of nerves. My skin is covered in sweat and my heart's beating faster than it did the night at his apartment, it's beating so hard I feel like it's trying to bruise my ribcage.

I try again and successfully pry myself away. I turn off my alarm and pull myself out of bed, I rub my eyes and let down out a small yawn. I hear Stan groaning and he seems to be looking for something. I leave him to sleep in and get ready for the day.

I notice that the bathroom door is locked so I knock on the door. "Hey, who's in there? You gonna be long?"

Immediately I start hearing frantic fumbling and movement before the door is unlocked and it would have hit me straight in the face if I didn't react and step back. Charlie steps out, looking a little discouraged and preoccupied as she rearranges her shirt, "Morning Kyle, sorry for taking up the bathroom." With that, she walks away. Her behavior confuses me but I'll ask her after I get cleaned up.

Afterwards, I see Charlie and Charlotte sitting at the table with Tweek slaving in the kitchen and Sue as his helper. "Good morning Kyle." Charlotte greets with a wave and a tired smile, she looks a little green.

"Morning." I greet her. "Are you OK, Charlotte?"

"I've had a little morning sickness but nothing to worry about, it's already much better than I was back home. I think the vacation mood is helping."

Sue and Tweek soon appear by the doorway with Tweek carrying a small fruit salad and a cup of ginger tea. "Either way, you better not eat so much." Tweek comments as he presents the food, "Here, can you take this?"

Charlotte nods as she takes her breakfast. "Of course. Thank you, Tweek."

"I gotta say, Tweek." Sue compliments, "Your Culinary Arts courses are doing you well."

"Y-you're just saying that because I made s-strawberry shortcake."

Sue winks playfully as she sticks out her tongue, "Caught me."

We laugh at their interaction before Tweek and Sue go back into the kitchen to make sure said pastries don't turn into charcoal pieces. Charlotte seems content as she rubs her bump lovingly, she probably feels better now that she's drinking her ginger tea, I heard that it's supposed to help with morning sickness after all.

I soon pull something tugging my shirt, it's Charlie. She looks down as I hear her ask softly, "Hey Kyle, can I talk to you for a bit? In private?"

I take the hint and pull her outside into the yard, and away from earshot. "What's up?"

"Kyle, how were Kenny and Bebe like in high school?"

I eye Charlie puzzled, why is she suddenly asking about this? "If this is about what Wendy said…"

She shakes her head so quickly that she'll probably have vertigo. "I don't give a damn about what that bitch has to say." She says sharply before softening her voice. "I just wanna know what they were like…"

"They were like high school sweethearts, they were pretty close and Kenny acted like the perfect boyfriend with what little he had. Bebe was the last person Kenny gave his heart to before you." I make sure to add with emphasis. "He never explicitly said it but I can tell he thinks the world of you."

"The last person…" She mutters under her breath with a solemn look. "How many people has Kenny been with? Like how he was with Bebe."

I look Charlie in the eye and I'm starting to get worried about what I'm noticing. Her brown eyes are wavering, unfocused, like she wants the truth but she's scared of what she'll hear. I figure I'd give her some answer that she might want to hear, but our friendship is based on honesty and trust.

I can't lie to her.

"Honestly, I've only seen him look at someone like that a few times. Besides you and Bebe, there's a girl called Kelly who was in our dance group and a girl from South Park called Tammy Warner."

Charlie looks absolutely torn right now, her shoulders shaking as she keeps her face hidden but I can hear her snuffles. I didn't know that I could feel worse than I did when I saw Charlie get taken, the worst part is that _I_ did this.

"Look, it doesn't matter who he was with." I let her rest her head on my chest and pet the back of her head, saying this as reassuring as I can. "Like I said, he likes _you_."

"Yeah… yeah, I'm sorry." She lifts her head off my chest and wipes off any tears trying to come out. "I'm not doubting Kenny's feelings or loyalty. I just got a lot on my mind right now."

I ruffle her hair a little, kinda like how Stan did last night. I'm pretty sure I reacted the same way she did, annoyed but amused. She joins the other with a smile to show that she's OK as she joins their conversations.

"Kyle, c-can you do us a favor and get the others? Breakfast is almost done."

I nod as I head to the room Ike's in. He's still sleeping, how cute. I pull the sheet from right under him, pulling him pull down crashing onto the floor. He groans in pain as he breaks free from his blanket cocoon.

"Good morning, little brother."

"Oww couldn't you have woken me up like a normal person?"

"Hey, you wanted some brotherly bonding time." I shrug with a huge grin on my face, nothing like a little petty revenge to start the day. "Besides, why waste my energy on a wakeup call when the floor does a better job?"

"Man, fuck you." He glares.

"First of all, that's incest. Second, I'm not a 16 year old girl named Karen McCormick."

"Why did I even bother telling you?"

"You can keep asking yourself that after breakfast. We're supposed to be hiking near one of the volcano sites today."

"Fine." Ike walks out to the bathroom, grumbling something about getting me back for this.

Eh, I'll worry about that later. I walk over to my room to wake Stan up when I hear voices on the other side of the door.

"Who the fuck do you think we are?! We can't change it last minute!" Is that Kenny's voice?

"I can't believe you thought about telling Cartman out all people!" And Stan?

"Geez, he was your manager. I thought he could help." Butter?!

"Guys seriouslah, it'll work. I hate him but we're gonna need Kahl to do this." Him too?!

Once I hear my word being mentioned, I decide to go in and get some answers. "What are you up to, fatass?"

Everyone in the room looks at me like deer caught in front of a headlight, "Kyle!?" Stan yelps in shock.

"What's going on here?" I ask again.

"Great, the Jew's here." Cartman says "Butters, ask him for your help."

Butters looks at him perplexed "Huh?"

"Stop bossing Butters around." Kenny hisses "This wasn't his plan."

"Shut up, Kinny!"

The two of them start arguing and it's giving me a headache, I need answers. "Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on?!" I just explode.

The room falls into silence as they look at each other, trying to figure out what to do. Stan breaks the silence first, "Well, who wants to say it?"

Butters takes a deep breath and steps forward, "Kyle, there was another reason I asked you guys to come. I asked Kenny and Stan to help me surprise Charlotte. I wanted to give her a better proposal than a simple drop on the knee so I brought a ring with some of the money I've saved." He explains as he pulls out a small velvet box, inside the box is a simple silver ring with stylish engravings on the side, "I'm planning to-"

"Butter's original plan was to dance like a fag, but I improved it with mah idea." Cartman cuts him off rudely, looking so smug about it too. God, why didn't I throw him off the plane after takeoff?

"If you call turning a nice dance by the seaside into a rock concert an improvement." Kenny spits. I take a moment to imagine it and I'm not gonna lie, it seems pretty cool.

Almost like magic, Stan seems to have read my thoughts and remarks, "I'm not gonna lie, it sounded cool to me at first too."

Kenny groans as he hands me a piece of paper, "Look at the song Cartman wants us to perform at the restaurant tonight."

I take the sheet music and take a look at it, it's 'Burning Love' by Wynonna Judd. The first thing I notice is the notes and how complex they are, all I can say is "…Wow."

"Yeah, wow." Kenny cross his arms and starts. "Way too difficult to prepare for in 12 hours and way too complex for Butters' vocal range."

"Butters can sing this." Cartman dismisses, "You love her enough to do that, right?"

"Are you kidding me? This is Butters' gift for Charlotte. Not your personal stage."

"But fellas, Eric said Charlotte would love it." Butter speaks up, fidgeting his fists nervously against each other like when we were kids. "My idea wasn't good enough to impress her."

"Butters, she loves you and she's carrying your child." Kenny reassures, "You don't need to impress her with glam rock."

"Aww geez, I-I just wanna make this special for her." Butters sighs.

"And I thought we were his friends." Cartman accuses, turning the barrel onto us. "Don't you think that she deserves more?"

"Yeah." Oh no, Butters. Please don't fall for it. "Kenny, Stan. I thought you wanna help me."

"We do, Butters. But this…" Butters just looks at Kenny with this pleading look and I can see the confliction on Kenny's face. Kenny sighs and finally gives in. "Fine, we'll do it."

"WHAT?!" Stan and I whisper-shout.

"Butters is counting on us to help him and if he thinks that's the best way then… we'll start practicing right away."

Cartman somehow manages to find a place for us to practice, filled with functioning equipment and everything. We tell everyone else that we had something to do and we convince them to go without us, I can tell that everyone's suspicious about what we're doing but they go along with it.

I hope we can at least play this song by lunch, I haven't really played the bass since I've learned how to play the piano in 6th grade.

Just like Kenny and Stan said, the song is too difficult for us for us to perfect in just a few hours and Butters sounds nowhere like Wynonna Judd, nor does we sound any good. We keep going at it until we have to stop practicing to join the others for lunch at a buffet restaurant. We're only 6 hours away before we have to do this in front of everyone, there is no way we can do this. This is a disaster.

"Guys, we've been practicing for 3 hours now and there is no way that Butters can hit those notes." Stan groans as he gets some extra fish on his plate.

"I can't believe you let him walk all over us like that!" I chide, "I can't believe you're taking Cartman's side."

"You think I want this?" Kenny growls. "Butters believes that Cartman has his best interest in heart and you just don't like the idea of listening to him." Is he turning this on me?

"This has nothing to do with my hatred towards Cartman." I defend as I notice Butters by himself. "I'm gonna try to convince Butters to do otherwise."

I walk over to him and call, "Butters!"

"Heya, Kyle." Butters smiles innocently. "What's wrong?"

"I need to talk to you about your surprise, we can't pull this off by tonight."

His smile drops into a concerned frown. "I thought you wanted to help."

"I want to help, but I'm also looking out for my friend." I make sure to articulate before stating my case. "I know you think Cartman is doing this out of the kindness of his heart but his heart is a dark, cold organ probably filled with cholesterol. He doesn't do things to be kind."

"Maybe he's changed after all those years away from South Park, you haven't even given him a chance." I almost want to slap myself, how can anyone still trust Cartman like Butters does?

"Butters, Stan has worked with him and even he can vouch that I'm right." I urge him. "I even heard him mention about letting Stan sing your part too."

"Even if he's doing it for himself, what does it matter? The whole point of this show was to show Charlotte how much I love her and this song will show that power and passion-"

"How is making Stan sing showing your love?!"

"Shut up, you don't know anything about romance Kahl." Somehow that fatass sneaks up behind us and snarls, "Last I check, you haven't loved anyone since Vivi." I stiffen at the name, much to Cartman's delight. "What did your last letter say again? 'You showed me light at my darkest hour, I'll love you forever.'? I thought you kept your promises, Jew."

I block out whatever he said to Butters next, my blood feels cold and I feel myself wincing at the horrible memory that Cartman dug up. I hate that. I hate it so much that it's using it against me like that.

"I hope your fiancé likes your little light show, but you can find yourself another bass player." I say coldly to them as I walk out of the restaurant, I'm not gonna let him see that he got to me. I'm not giving him the satisfaction.

* * *

**Stan's POV**

I watch Kyle pull Butters away to a corner, hopefully he can convince Butters out of Cartman's plan. I just don't get what he has to gain out of it. Is it that he wants to humiliate Butters? No…this would have been an awesome idea if it was anyone else. I don't get it.

I snap out of my thoughts when Tweek approaches me at the fruits table, "Stan, I need help."

"Sure, Tweek. What's up?"

"OK, so you've had dated around before Wendy, right?

"You mean during our stupid off-again breaks? Yeah, I dated some girls during then just like how she dated other guys."

Tweek's face turns a little red as he stammers, "So… h-how do y-you get a girl?"

Wow, he must really want to be with Sue. "There are better ways to ask for dating advice, you know. Sue's still single, you just need to hint that you're interested and boom, match made." I say with a few hand gestures to show.

"That's the thing." He looks to me and says. "I don't want her to make the first move, I wanna do it this time. I wanna sweep her off her feet."

"No offense, man but I've seen your moves and you're gonna have to _really_ impress her to do that."

"That's why I'm asking for your help, you know how girls work and Kenny's ways were one-night-funs before Charlie and even then Charlie was the one who really asked him out."

"Well, everyone knows a sure way to someone's heart is through their appetite. Plus, Sue's a huge foodie, she is from San Francisco and all."

"I've been delivering Strawberry shortcakes for her, I even baked some for her for breakfast."

"Yeah, that's good and all but even I can do that. That doesn't really scream 'You mean a lot to me'." I point out. "You gotta really put in the extra effort."

He ponders for a while before his face lights up, I think he has an idea. "OK, thanks Stan." He says as he takes a big bowl of strawberries. Do I even need to guess who that's for?

As I walk back to our table, I notice Kyle stomping out of the restaurant with Butters looking worried and Cartman rolling his eyes. What happened to him? Kenny seems to notice this too because his face darkens tremendously as he goes over to them.

"Kenny what's wrong?" I ask as I follow him.

"You piece of shit!" "You brought _her_ up again, did you?"

"What happened?" I ask again, clueless and hoping for answers.

Kenny ignores my questions and continues to chew Cartman out, "I saw that look on Kyle's face. I haven't seen that look in years! There's a reason we don't say _that name_!" Kenny growls with so much anger, he looks like he's actually considering murdering Eric Cartman

"Kenny." I step between the two of them, hoping that it's enough to stop Kenny from actually acting on his rage. "As much as I love kicking Cartman's ass, what the fuck happened?"

"I thought you were his best friend, I figured you'd know that he got his heart played." Cartman jeers at my supposed ignorance.

"Shut the fuck up." Kenny explodes, I'm now physically holding him back from ripping that fatass's throat out.

"Actually, I _do_ know. Kyle told me and if you pea-sized brain remembered, I gave you a pretty nice black eye for that." I remind Cartman. "So for the third fucking time, what happened?"

"Cartman must've mentioned Vivi in front of Kyle and well, you saw the result." Kenny stops thrashing but doesn't let go of the sharp tone in his voice. "It's one of the biggest reasons we stopped hanging out with him and why we practically erased her from our memories."

This is what happens when they mention her? No wonder they act like she never existed, how much did it hurt Kyle to tell me about it that night? I feel Kenny's angers now coursing through me as I pull Cartman to a side with Butters calming Kenny down.

"You are really pushing my limits, Cartman."

"We have bigger things to worrieh about. Kahl ditched us, now how are you gonna perform?"

"Are you kidding me? You broke Kyle and you're worried about that!? And stop saying it like it's a gig, it's not. It's us helping our friend."

"Look, Stan. We just need to do this. Butters will have his faggy little love song and we have a video we can send to record companies. They want some more recent work and I can get you signed up with one of them."

"Is this why you hijacked Butters' gift for Charlotte?" I look at him at disbelief but that this point it shouldn't have been a shock, "I knew it. I should've known you'd pull some shit like this."

"Don't you get it, Stan? It always gets more attention if there's some stupid ass meaning behind it and the people love it, so will the record labels."

"You're insane. Last I checked you're not my manager anymore."

"Just give me another chance."

"After what you did to Kyle, why should I?"

"Stan, I thought you wanted to have your music heard. Getting that label contract will help you with that, plus they'll pay for the rest of your studies. Sharon would have a lot off of her shoulder since she doesn't have to worry about your fees and student loans."

"Even so, it doesn't have to be tonight. I can do a recording once we get back and it'll work just as well. We don't need this to win them over."

With that, I leave him and head back to Butters and Kenny, who has calmed down now.

"Butters, I'm sorry. Cartman was doing this because he wanted to use this as a chance to make some music video. He wasn't even gonna record your declaration." I apologize for what Cartman did. Even if I had no part in it, he was doing it to get on my good side.

"What am I gonna do?" Butters sighs, now looking thoroughly defeated. "I do like the song idea. Maybe you can do it anyways? It doesn't matter as long as-" He begs me with hopeful eyes, but I can't do that.

"Of course it matters. Butters, I thought you're doing this for Charlotte."

"I am!" He exclaims.

"Well, Charlotte would not want some singer to perform a love song for your sake, she'd want to hear her fiancée profess his love for her, in his own way."

He fidgets nervously as he squeaks, "I don't know where to start."

"Don't worry, Butters." Kenny steps in to reassure him. "You've got the words along with the best songwriter" He points to me then himself, "and the best DJ to help you."

"But if we're gonna make it, we need Kyle to do this." I explain. "He's the most organized out of all of us, he'll know how to fix this."

"Kyle's gonna be in a really weird and unstable place after what Eric said." Butters says distraught.

"Stan can try and get him out of it, right?"

" _Try_ is the keyword here." I mutter as I walk out to look for the redhead.

It doesn't take long seeing how he's just sitting at the street corner, watching the cars drive by. "Hey, Kyle. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. I forgot how easy it is for Cartman to get to me." Kyle says as he tucks his face into his arms. "I'm so pathetic, I feel like I should be over this by now but I'm not. All it took was for Cartman to make me feel like this again."

It hurts me to see Kyle put himself down like that. Every time I see what it does to poor Kyle, I just wanna slap that bitch in the face for even thinking that it's a harmless joke. Harmless jokes don't make people wallow on sidewalks.

"Cartman doesn't know shit, he's just some lowlife who's just knows how to use people. And no one said getting over trauma is easy, it's like a scar. She did a number on you and you're healing, you said it yourself."

A scar… Just like the one Shelly gave me on my 16th birthday. It's weird, seeing Kyle like this reminded me of how I acted after the incident. Constantly trying to repress the memory until it opens itself and you feel the pain just it just happened. I feel my scar pulse a little at the thought

"Yeah, thanks." He smiles, unaware of the depressing train of thought I just had. "Don't worry about me, I'm fine. I just need to set my mind straight again."

"Cartman told me his plan. Apparently it was his attempt to kiss my ass and re-hire him as my manager."

"Disgusting." He grimaces. "Both the fact that Cartman would even use Butters like that on his special day, and the fact that you just gave me a mental image of Cartman kissing your ass."

Hearing him say that give me that mental image and I have to stop myself from throwing up everything I just ate, "Eww sick dude."

"Told you." He smirks.

"Anyways, we kicked him out and changed the plan again. But we need you, Kyle."

He takes a deep breath before jumping up and brushing the dirt off his pants, "OK then, let's go."

* * *

Night soon arrives as we finish on the last touches. We once again tell them we'll meet them there, Charlotte looks worried and I can tell it's taking a toll on Butters. We set everything up before they arrive, I begin feeling a little anxious as I watch my friends get seated.

"Judging by the equipment, I'm guessing you changed the act." I hear Cartman's voice, I turn to face him. He doesn't look mad or insulted, just dull, like he doesn't give a shit.

"Yes, and for all our sakes just let it be." I state but he isn't leaving. "If you do, I'll let you be my manager again. Everything goes back to the way it was."

"Deal." He smirks as he finally walks back to the table.

Kyle who watched it all happens just sighs and asks, "What are the odds that this was what he wanted all along?"

"Probably pretty high, but right now I don't care." I shrug. "How's Butters doing?"

"He's freaking out." Kenny mentions before I hear Butters muttering to himself.

"Oh geez, I'm so nervous. What if she doesn't like it? What if Eric was right all along?"

I walk up to him and look him in the eye, telling him in a calm relaxed voice, "Leopold, listen to me. You are gonna walk onto that stage, you're gonna serenade to the girl with your heart and your child, and she's gonna love it. Because it's you who's singing it, now stop worrying and remember the words."

Butters stops shaking and smiles, he's still nervous but at least he isn't gonna pass out from shot nerves.

"That's really good advice, Stan." Kyle says, looking like he's proud of me. "You've become a lot wiser."

I mess with the green ushanka on his head, indirectly ruffling his head as I say smugly, "Wisdom comes with age, little boy."

"Oh shut up, you're only like half a year older than me." Kyle chuckles as he pulls away from my grasp.

I hear the host for tonight as he comes onto the stage, "Welcome everyone here tonight, we have some wonderful performance for your dining pleasure but tonight we have a special performance under request for a special lady here tonight.

"That's our cue." I note, "Is the camera ready?"

Kyle nods, "Yup, Ike should have it recording when we start."

"How did you convince a nosy 13-year-old to not tell?"

"It works when you have something he doesn't want a certain someone to know yet."

I walk out onto the stage to introduce us. "Hey, people." I hear my name among some whispers, I guess there are people here who know me. "We're here tonight for an awesome friend who has a special surprise for the girl he loves. Let's go, boys."

The curtain pulls up to show Kyle on an electric keyboard, me on guitar and Kenny on bass drums. Butters has a tambourine and a microphone. We start to play as Butters calms his nerves and starts singing.

> The sweetest brunette with a voice so soft
> 
> The girl with the white shoes that I want to show off
> 
> That's right. It's you, it's only you. You are my lady

Everyone seems shocked, especially Charlotte, who watches Butter in awe and adoration.

> You are the kind of girl I thought were dreams
> 
> The main character of my fantasies.
> 
> That's right. It's you, it's always you. You are so pretty
> 
>  
> 
> You are my shining sun, you're the love I don't deserve
> 
> You're so perfect, I'm so sorry I don't match your worth (oh my lady)
> 
> I'm lost in your endless sea, overflowing with your love
> 
> I have loved you more than anyone else. Oh my love
> 
>  
> 
> If I could grant your every little dream,
> 
> If you could smile every night you go to sleep
> 
> That would be all, all I ask for. You are my lady
> 
>  
> 
> You are my shining sun, you're the love I don't deserve
> 
> You're so perfect, I'm so sorry I act so unnerved (oh my love)
> 
> I'm lost in your endless sea, overflowing with your love
> 
> I love you more than anybody else. Oh my love

Butters walks down the stage, in front of Charlotte as he sings the next verse.

> Before you, the world seems cold, like the nightmares of my home.
> 
> But you came into my life and then patched it back to new
> 
> I will keep on loving you, you're the beacon of my world
> 
> Thank you for loving someone broken like me, I love you~.

"Charlotte, this song's for you." He takes her hand into his. "I know I proposed to you already but I wanna let you know just how much I love you." He pulls the silver ring out of his pocket. "I hope tonight's enough."

"Buttercup darling, it's more than enough." She cries with tears of joy as he sips the ring onto her finger. She wraps her arms around him, "I love you too."

The rest of the dinner goes off without a hitch and our spirits elated, Sue and Charlie are absolutely bubbling about how amazing that performance was and how they should have known. Sue knocks me on the head, saying that she could've helped. True but after Cartman and Kyle, we don't need another chef to mess up the broth. Butters and Charlotte finish before us so Charlotte want to take a walk by the bench outside. Kenny and I share a look, unbeknownst to the others as we watch them walk away.

We finish up quickly and we go back to the car to get the instruments we stashed. We quickly paid and urge everyone to follow us, "Come on, guys and stay quiet."

We run quietly and stealthy ahead of the couple, to where we were supposed to hide for our original plan. Everyone begins asking in confusion before we hear them coming and we shush them.

"How long have you been working on this?" Charlotte asks

"The song? A few hours." Butters answers. "The surprise, about a month now."

"So that's why you've been making so many calls to Kenny."

"This wasn't my original surprise, I changed it 'cause I was worried you wouldn't like it."

"Leo, I'll love it because it's from you." Charlotte smiles as she kisses him on the cheek. "Because you took the time to do it."

"They were right."

"So what was your original surprise?" She inquires curiously

"Well Stan and Kenny were supposed to play-"

> E ku'u lei e hele mai 'oe
> 
> A 'ike i na waiwai o ke kai 'uli iho

The couple finally notice all of us with me on my ukulele and Kenny singing while playing a traditional Hawaiian bongo drum. Ike, still holding the camera, giving them a thumbs up as the rest of them wave.

> Mai 'uwe 'oe e ku'u lei hiwa
> 
> E aloha wau ia 'oe na kau a kau
> 
> Ei nei e, oh, e ku'u lei

Butters seems caught off guard by us. Charlotte on the other hand, just giggles as she rolls her eyes before turning to him, offering her hand to her stunned lover, "Leopold Scotch, may I have this dance?"

> Skies will turn to grey
> 
> Oh~ Love will pave the way
> 
> I will love you
> 
> I will love you always

Butters smiles as he takes her hand and they began dancing under the moonlight, their giddy smiles as big as the crescent moon. They swirl around with the sandy bench as their dance floor. We all look at each other with the same grins and cheer as we watch our friends dance blissfully.

> When it's hard to stand
> 
> Oh~ You can take my hand
> 
> I will love you
> 
> I will love you always

Kyle, watching everything unfold, pats me on the back, looking impressed. "Not bad, Marsh. Not bad at all."

"What can I say? I'm a real charm." I say with a smug, confident grin

Kyle punches my arm playfully before sitting next to me and laying his head onto my shoulder. I jolt a little in shock, but it's hardly noticeable as I don't want to startle him. I try to keep my face straight as I feel myself both tensing and relaxing, with my blood feeling cozy warm around my face. I steal a glance at the unsuspecting redhead before returning my gaze forward towards the happy couple as I mouth the next few lines.

> I will love you
> 
> I will love you always

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, even though they aren't in this story for long, I love Butters and Charlotte. They're such a pure couple. I hope you enjoyed their little surprise. Next time, we follow them on their last day at Hawaii.
> 
> Holy shit, this chapter was a lot harder and way more serious than I originally planned. It was supposed to be more of a South Park feel episode but I like how this turned out. All the songs you see are actual choices I had when I was deciding which song to use and it took me a while to choose. Burning Love was close but it didn't feel like something Butters would sing.
> 
> All the songs used in this chapter in order:
> 
> Haha - You're My Destiny: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gXVG6Of0TI
> 
> Lilo and Stitch 2 - I will love you always (Movie scene): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4A2DSnjkBEU
> 
> Finals are next week so I'm gonna have to stop again, I'll try to make it back the week after to finish up their vacation. Sorry loves xc
> 
> As always, feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	31. Not Fall in Love with You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang spend their last day in Hawaii while Stan starts seeing Kyle in a new light and set his sights on him.

**Stan's POV**

Last day here in Hawaii, I wake up feeling much better rested. Probably because I don't have to spend 2 hours past midnight practicing my ukulele. I should get up now but I don't really want to, I feel really warm, like I'm hugging the world's coziest furnace.

Wait, this feels familiar. It feels like the same as yesterday, I was feeling warm like the sun was blanketing me until that warm slipped away from me. I woke up shortly after because I felt cold without it and I couldn't find it again.

I find myself spooning Kyle. Was I doing this yesterday too? I really don't feel like letting go but something tells me Kyle won't be as pleased as I am if he wakes up to find me cuddling him.

I get up and walk to the dining room with my laptop to check my YouTube page to see how the videos I uploaded are doing. Besides the Vlog I uploaded on the first day, I also uploaded our performance last night under Butter's permission. Immediately, I noticed a bunch of comments on both of the videos.

I decide to check the ones from the Vlog first. Most of them are them wishing me a happy holiday and calling Wendy a slut, but the ones that caught my eyes are the ones about Kyle. Like I said, I hadn't done a Vlog in a while and this video is the first time my viewers actually get to see Kyle in person. Some of them are calling him cute, others are happy that I got my best friend back.

There are, of course, asking about our relationship. I've come clean that I was Bi a while back but I never had a boyfriend, so there's an all-out debate in the comment section right now. I take a moment to read the comment that started it.

_Who wouldn't love these two, inseparable best friends ever since they were kids? Idek who wouldn't, right? It's so obvious why I ship these two._

They see us as a couple? Somehow that idea isn't that odd, if anything I kinda like that. Kyle and I have been growing closer since we moved pass our fight. Even without that, Kyle is the person I'd trust my life with and the one person I'd give up anything to protect, that says a lot about how much I care about him.

What am I thinking? Even if Kyle is the most important person to me, that doesn't mean we can be a couple. I don't know if I should try anything with Kyle's condition, something changed when Kyle told me his past with Vivi. I feel more protective of him, I didn't want to let anything else hurt him like that girl did, so far I've been able to keep any weird impulses in check but I still couldn't put my finger on it until now. Those feelings are too strong to friendship standards, even super best friends standards.

Am I falling for him?

Ugh… It's too early for me to question my feelings. I need coffee. I close my laptop and see Cartman coming out of his room. "Hey lardass."

"Where's breakfast?"

"We're going out for breakfast today, remember? You can have some snacks in the pantry if you want."

"Twitchy needs to get up and cook some grub. I'm starving here." Cartman grumbles as he grabs some Cheesy Poofs from the cupboards.

"Leave Tweek out of it, Cartman. He isn't your personal chef." I defend poor Tweek who isn't here to defend himself.

"He doesn't know how to leave things alone." Kenny groans angrily as he walks in and sits down next to me.

Cartman rolls his eyes. "Please, it's not my fault I walked in on your bitch."

"Stop calling Charlie a bitch." Kenny warns him.

"Oh right, sorry. That would mean that I'd see _it_ as an actual girl."

I notice Kenny's knuckles go white as he clenches his fists. "You did _not_ just go there."

"Trust me, I got a full body view before the freak scrambled to put it's clothes back on, caught it staring at itself in the mirror before locking the bathroom door." Kenny isn't the only one getting mad. Charlie's a sweet kid and she doesn't deserve to be treated like that by someone as disgusting as Cartman.

"She isn't a freak!" Kenny practically jumps off his chair, growling at Cartman's smug face.

"Then what is she?"

"STOP IT!" I shout, halting their argument. "Both of you can it before she hears you two, it's our last day here so if you want, you two can never see each other again after we get home."

That stops the feud but not Kenny's rage, he goes back into his room steaming with anger. I turn to Cartman who looks completely indifferent to it all and I ask him, "Do you hate us?"

"Only the ginger Jew, the rest of them are just fun to push around."

After a few minutes, everyone else comes out of their room. I can't tell if they heard Kenny and Cartman fighting but with how loud it was, I'd be surprise if half the block didn't know. The atmosphere is deafening until Charlotte and Butters start thanking us for the surprise, hearing how happy it makes her brings our spirits back up. For the last day, we're going to shop around for souvenirs and spend some time at the beach before we have to leave tonight. I promised mom that I'd get her some coffee.

Shopping doesn't take too long since we want to spend as much time as we can on the beach before we have to go back to the chilly winds of spring showers. I got the coffee and a little tiki statue, as a memorabilia and because it looks like it's pissed off expression reminds me of Kyle.

We get changed and hit the beach the minute we got to the house. Since this is our last day, we decide to go all out to the bench. Charlotte and Butters are sitting under a tree, Charlie and Kenny are playing Frisbee against Ike, Tweek and Kyle. I see a beachside bar and decide to get some drinks from it. "Ok, who wants what drink?" I ask them.

"Rum and coke." Kyle gives his usual order as he sends the disk back to Charlie.

"I'll have a chi chi." Butters places his order, apparently he fell in love with them the last time he was here.

"Make that two." One for Kenny.

"Three." And another one for Cartman. I'm not fucking paying for his drink if that's what he's thinking.

Tweek and Charlie don't want any, and Kyle wouldn't let Ike get one no matter how hard he tries his begging pout. With everyone's orders in mind, Sue and I head to the bar.

"Three chi chis, one rum and coke, one whiskey." I place our orders before letting Sue order hers.

"Strawberry sunrise, no ice. Oh, and one of those little umbrellas."

The bartender nods as he mixes our drinks, leaving Sue and I to talk a little while we wait. She visibly relaxes with a sigh and a smile, "You know, after all the shit that's happened, we really needed this break. You needed to reconnect with some of your old friends and I got to know you guys a little better."

"All I saw you get to know is Tweek and his cooking. You two have been getting along really well."

"Oh haha, don't pull that tone on me." Sue slugs me in the shoulder and leans against the bar. "Tweek's a really great guy, charming and a really good cook. However, Jake isn't gonna let Tweek go if I go for him now. I'll have to deal with that loose end first. Besides, right now I just wanna help him be the best person he can be. I know how much it sucks to have your potential ignored by something you can't control."

Man, that's a mood killer. But I don't blame her almost everyone in her crew knows her rough start, and part of the reason why we hate Jake so much. The guy's a dick that really needs to know that Sue isn't some trophy girlfriend.

"It sucks that we still need him."

"He's a pretty face for the public, as long as it keeps us going, it doesn't matter. If we don't keep our ratings up, I don't know if the school would let us keep our program." We notice the mood change and she sighs. "Sorry, we should be happy. It's our last day here, we would make it worthwhile."

"Yeah, anyways, you're right." I take her cue and lighten up the mood again, thinking about the fun we had on this trip. "It's nice to see Butters again, I'm glad he's so happy now with Charlotte. Makes me wish I could fall in love like that."

"You mean with Red there?" She smirks as she looks over at Kyle. "I know you've been giving each other glances since we got here. You broke up with that cheater, so what's stopping you?"

"My feelings are in a weird place right now, I don't know if it's just me not wanting to lose him again or whatever. Besides, Kyle isn't really one for feelings."

"Well then, think about it and make him see. When all possibilities are gone, what's left is the truth."

"Thanks." Our conversation ends when the bartender returns with all of our drinks on 2 trays. "Come on, rookie. Let's get all this back to the others." Sue says as she carries one of them and we make our way back to the gang. Kyle is arguing with Cartman about something again, what this time?

"What did we miss?" Sue asks.

"Charlie was just asking for more stories on the misadventures in South Park."

"Did you tell her about the one with the Nazi zombies?"

"Oh, yeah. That's when we were playing The Stick of Truth."

"Nazi zombies?"

"Yup, we were all there for that battle." Cartman begins to narrate with an overly-dramatic voice. "T'was a battle to end all battles, the fierce humans of the Kingdom of Kupa Keep against the retarded drew elves of the Elven forest-"

"Hey!" Kyle shouts angrily.

Cartman, as for usual, ignores Kyle's outcry and finishes his story. "-for the most powerful artifact known to this world, the Stick of Truth."

"Please, it was just a plain old stick." Wendy scoffs. We all reply with cold, angry glares. She doesn't understand that we risked our lives for that 'plain old stick'.

"So what happened to it?" Charlie asks curiously.

"After Kinny went crazy with the stick's power, Douchebag farted on his balls and we threw the stick into Stark's pond."

"You knew a kid named Douchebag?" Sue raises her eyebrow in confusion.

"He farted on your balls?" Charlie asks Kenny to which he just shrugs.

"It was a weird moment for everyone. It just happens."

"Man, I wish I could've seen it." Charlie sighs wistfully. I didn't know that half of our adventures would be that appealing to someone, half of the times the townsfolk just want us dead.

Kenny, being the loving boyfriend he is, picks up a random stick by his feet and takes Charlie's suggestion. "How about we play one round? For old time's sake."

Everyone agrees to one game and honestly, I'm kinda excited. It's been a while since I got to be with them and play like we were kids again in our backyards. Video games are fun and all but there's nothing more with a little trip down nostalgia lane.

"So how are we gonna decide factions?" Kyle brings up a good concern. Half of the kids we used to play with aren't here.

"Psh, I'm the great wizard of the humans." Cartman answers, like he's answering the most obvious question in the world. "Butters, Kinny and Tweek are already humans. Don't think that you can corrupt them with your Jew magic."

"Then I guess I'm Stan Marshwalker again, elf king." I kneel before Kyle, like the loyal ranger I am.

"First mate Ike, ready for your command."

"Very well then." Kyle nods before asking, "What about the girls?"

"We've been over this before, Kahl. Girls can't play."

Charlie and Sue both cry out. "Fuck you, why not?"

"Because girls are whiny and weak and all they'll do is bitch about their outfit, besides I'm the wizard king and I said so."

"But we have the Stick of Truth. Whoever controls the Stick controls the universe, remember shit-for-brain?" Kyle waves the stick with a smug look on his face. When did he take that from Kenny? Kenny doesn't seem too upset about it anyways seeing that Charlie can play now.

I walk to Kyle's side and back him up. "Yeah, and we say that the girls can join us."

Cartman looks like he's about to have an aneurysm before relenting, "Fine, Wendy, come over here."

"I guess you and Charlie are with us." Kyle welcomes them as they join our side, Charlotte doesn't want to play because the pregnancy drains more energy from her.

"Roles?"

"We'll just stick to our old roles." Kenny says as he points out him, Butters and Tweek. "Butters is a paladin, Tweek's a Barbarian and I'm a princess."

"Goddamnit Kinny." Cartman grunts in frustration. "Of course the crossdressers have a boner for each other."

Everyone except from Cartman, looks at Charlie with concern, worried that what the fatass said would hurt her. But to our shock, she shrugs and plays it off like the smartass she can be, "He's not wrong, oddly enough it did start of as some stupid ass punishment from a bet. But I found myself through losing that bet."

"Whatever, pussies. Choose your classes." Cartman cuts Charlie off, much to her annoyance.

Sue decides to be a thief, Charlie is a mage while Wendy is a warrior, fitting for each of them. With roles and teams set, we just need to prepare and let all Hell break loose.

"Very well then." Cartman draws a line in the sand with a walking stick he probably stole, and announces, "This marks our borders, we will meet back here in 20 minutes and we will burn your forest down to get the stick."

"You're on, fatso." Kyle responds before we all break off to gear up.

* * *

**Kenny's POV**

We search across the area and some local stores for the equipment we need, most of our weapons are toys, stuff we found around the house, drift wood and rocks. Not really effective weapons compared to my old bow or Butter's old hammer, but it should do the job nicely. I hope we don't get hurt, I've gone about 2 weeks now without dying and I don't wanna hurt my princess because of some stupid game.

"All right, almighty grand wizard. What's the plan?" I cross my arms at our 'leader' and his dominatrix warrior of a girlfriend.

"We go in there and kick Kahl in the nuts." Cartman declares, we all just give him blank stares in response. Really, Cartman?

"For the stick dumbass, that's not gonna help us get the stick." I want to slap this fat ignorant son of a bitch all the way to South Park.

"But… Kahl will be in pain~" He whines annoyingly, like that makes the most sense in the world. Knowing him, it probably does to him.

"And what makes you think that Stan and Ike will let you get close enough to Kyle to do that?" I retaliate as I readjust the plastic tiara on my head I bought just for this game.

"Besides, Sue is really strong." Tweek adds.

"That Charlie has fire too, I can see it in her eye." Even Wendy is giving her thoughts on it, not that Cartman cares, of course.

"Those pussies aren't gonna do anything because you guys are gonna keep them distracted. Wendy will fight Stan, Tweek and Kinny can go for the chicks since they wouldn't hurt their boyfriends. Butters, you keep Ike busy and get the stick. I'll beat up Kahl and make him suck mah balls." Cartman says once again in that overconfident tone. He's gonna make us battle while he sits in his fucking tower again like he did with Douchebag.

Butters looks at the weapon Cartman gave him in utter conflict, "But Eric, I don't wanna hurt Ike with a lead pipe."

"Are you a fighter, Butters, or do you wanna join the faggy elves?"

"Leave him alone." I step in again to defend poor Butters. "I don't like fighting my girlfriend either, Cartman."

"Too bad, _I'm_ the wizard king and I command you to battle your hoes." Cartman stomps away and goes to Wendy, leaving the three of us frustrated with his supposed 'authoritah'.

"Fucking Cartman…" I growl as I kick the sand around me.

Tweek looks absolutely on edge, "I don't know how I'm gonna fight Sue, she looks like she'll take down a tank if she wants to." He's right and so can Kyle and Stan, Cartman has no idea what he's up against.

"What are we gonna do then?" Butters asks worryingly, but unfortunately we have no other choice

"We go to battle. What else can we do?" I say dejected as we follow Cartman and Wendy beyond enemy lines.

We reach the point we're supposed to spilt up and gang up on them from both sides and surrounding them. Our base is at the house after the Elves claim supplies and weapons for themselves while the Elven forest is a small area of greenery with trees and stuff, not too far away.

Later awhile of walking and careful attempts at stealth, we are surprised by Charlie, looking nonchalant in a white bathrobe, a big sunhat and a parasol in her hand. "Oh look, it's the blond trio. You were seven seconds behind schedule."

"Aww geez, I'm not sure if we should fight her." Tweek says, "It's three on one."

"Can I even the odds then?" A voice rings from the tree Charlie is leaning on. We didn't even notice her until we look up and see them big silver eyes gleaming dauntingly as she jumps to her partner's side.

"Sue?" Tweek exclaims. Sue now has a bath towel wrapped around her head, looking like a thief's cloak and hood and leaving her eyes as the only prominent feature we can see through that hood. I notice a bent arched-shaped stick with a rubber band they made as a makeshift bow and a canister filled with sticks on her back as her arrows.

"Sugar, you didn't think I was gonna let her fight alone, did you?" Sue intones, acting as carefree as Charlie is right now while she draws her bow. "The king's got you all figured out."

That makes sense. Shit, they must've set us up and let us play into their hands. I turn to Butters and whisper, "Butters, they know what's up. Try and find Cartman before they send Ike after you."

Butters scrambles as he runs into the shrubary, but the girls don't even bat an eye. They set their focus completely on me and Tweek, "Everything going according to plan, huh?" Charlie mocks with a playing tone.

"You girls are really getting into this."

"Hey, if you wanna see the insanity of South Park, you gotta let yourself live in it."

With that, we engage in combat. Sue is firing her arrows at Tweek along with twigs she throws at him like throwing knives, while Charlie charging towards me with that parasol. I jump back to avoid her attack and throw the Frisbee at her; she blocks it by opening her parasol, using it as a shield as the Frisbee bounces off of it.

"Not bad, princess. You're really good at this" I smile as I reach her the jump rope we found on the beach, I use it as a whip and knock the parasol out of her hand.

She looks flustered as her weapon is kicked away, but she counters by splashing me with a bottle of ice cold water, slowing me down as she retrieves her weapon. "Thanks, Kenny but you know there's something beautifully ridiculous about you calling me by that pet name when you have a fake plastic crown on your head."

"Welcome to South Park." I smirk as the slowing effect wears off and we jump straight back into battle.

* * *

**Kyle's POV**

Sending Sue out for a stakeout is the best play we did. After we learn about Cartman's plans, we figured the best strategic is to let them think their plan is working and trap them so just like Cartman wanted, Sue and Charlie are going after Kenny and Tweek. Ike will go after Butters but I warn him to go easy since Butters has to get close to the stick at least and he isn't hard to take down. Ike is pretty strong if he wants to be especially with his growth sprut.

Now all we're waiting for is Cartman and Wendy to make their move. Stan doesn't have his broadsword anymore and I don't have my golf club, but the brooms from the house will give that lardass a few good bruises.

"Do you think they know we know?" Stan suddenly asks out of boredom.

"Even if they know, we have the upper hand. Our biggest concern is Wendy, I don't know whether to go easy on her because she's a girl or beat the shit out of her for being a cheating whore."

"I thought I was the one fighting her."

"Please, after our battle in the school with Douchebag, do you really think fatso will fight his own battles?"

"Give up the Stick of Truth, you filthy elves. It belongs to the humans!"

"The Stick will never belong to a racist, selfish prick like you. You want it? Come and fight me for it, fatass." I challenge him as I draw my weapon.

"Fine!" Cartman shouts, accepting my challenge, only to throw it at his girlfriend. "Wendy, beat the crap outta Stan and Kahl."

She doesn't seem to care as she marches towards me and Stan confidently, "Gladly."

"It's show time." Stan grins, he acts as his role as my loyal ranger and leaps into action.

I will say one thing, Wendy isn't an easy opponent. Cartman probably loaded her up with the best armor and potions so that she could guard him. Cheap spineless bastard. I cast a wind spell with Sue's battery-powered hairdryer, temporarily kicking Wendy off balance as Stan performs Whirlwind Slash. It obviously makes a dent in her armor but she isn't done yet. We get so caught up in the battle I almost forget about Cartman, who's sneaking over to the stomp we used as a pedestal for the Stick of Truth. I leave Stan to fight Wendy, knowing now that half of her armor is gone that Stan would stand a better chance, and go after Cartman.

"Oh no you don't." I shout as I throw my weapon, launching it into the air and hitting him smacked on the back of his head.

Cartman glares angrily at me as I place myself firmly in his path. I pick up my weapon and slash Cartman with it, knocking him down easily. He refuses to stay down though as he picks himself up and try attack after attack on me, none of them landing and doing any damage as I counter his every attack, sending his fatass flying backwards with his body covered with bruises.

"Fight fair, you cheating Jew." He shouts angrily as he charges towards me again.

"Please, I'm hardly fighting right now." I mock him as I sidestep, easily dodging his attack and giving him a good kick to the back.

"Fine, you asked for this." Cartman growls with a warning tone. I don't understand what he's doing because I hear a slurry of curses and swear words coming out of his mouth and a charge of electricity forming around his hand.

"Whore! Weirdo! Ginger! Bullshit! Christian! ASSHOLE!" Cartman cries as a surge of lighting shoots right towards me, I couldn't move out of shock but I hear shouting, "Kyle, look out!" I get knocked down and watch the lighting charge blast right above me.

I regain my bearings and I see Stan on top of me, he must've been the one to push me out of Cartman's attack. It doesn't look like the attack hit him either as I stare into my savior's eyes. He just jumped in to protect me, he saved me.

"Mommy what are they doing?" I look over to see a little girl, no older than 5, looking right at us with her parents, the mother blushing in embarrassment over her daughter's question. I feel my face redden as I realize why. Without any context, our positions do look a little obscene with Stan pinning me down on the ground and him looking over me protectively, maybe even a little possessively.

"Nothing sweetie, close your eyes and go to grandma." The mother stutters as she sends her daughter away before she shoots a disapproving snarl at us. "Shame on you boys."

I begin to stutter as I want to explain that it's not what it looks like, as cliché of a line that is but she stomps away to her child before I could get the words out. The father just shakes his head before reaching into his wallet. "Well, it is a PC society now. Here you go, boys." He hands us twenty bucks before following his wife back to his family.

"Umm… Thanks?" I mumble as he walks away. I try to get up but Stan isn't moving, he hasn't moved throughout that entire event.

"Come on, Stan." I said a little shyly from being in this position, "Wendy and fatass must have the stick by now."

Stan seems get knocked out of his daze, "R-right." He nods and stutters as he stands up, pulling me up too. We rush back to the battle ground to see Tweek, Kenny and Butters out, Wendy and Cartman going up against Sue as Charlie heals Ike's wounds. Stan and I join in and it's clear now that the humans are fighting a losing battle.

It's not long before they're all taken out and we win the match. "Nice try Cartman, but the stick is still ours." I taunt him triumphantly as our team cheers. "How does it feel getting your ass whooped?"

"God-fucking-dammit!" Cartman bellows angrily before turning to his fallen warriors"It's all your fault!"

"Seriously? We had little to no potions with us because you wanted all the cheesy poofs to yourself." Tweek cries out in defense.

"Yeah, Eric." Butters joins Tweek with just as much anger and frustration. "We're n-not invincible."

"Can it, Butters. Stop being such a little wuss."

"Cartman. That's enough." Kenny steps in again, being the voice of reason and Butters' guardian.

"Kinny, we could have gotten the stick if Butters wasn't such a pussy that he couldn't even beat a kid."

"B-but I didn't w-wanna hurt Ike, he's Kyle's br-brother." Butters says with a sob in his voice.

Cartman starts ranting, "He's a Jew-"

"Shut up, fatass." Ike and I yell, I would've pierced this broom handle right up his ass if Stan isn't holding me back

He continues, once again ignoring our outbursts. "- and Jews go to hell, do you wanna join him? If you're gonna be that way, you might as well join those pansy elves. We don't want you anymore." Cartman finishes coldly, Butters looks like he's ready to fall apart as Charlotte rushes over to us.

"Eric Cartman, that's enough!" Wendy scolds as she slaps her boyfriend, he whines as he rubs the cheek with the searing red handprint.

"Butters, darling." Charlotte holds Butters, coddling and comforting him. "Shh… it's OK. He didn't mean it."

Charlotte leads Butters away from us, allowing me to yell at Cartman. "Why are you targeting Butters? This is his getaway too and he's paying for us to be there for him."

"Psh, that's why you're here. I'm here because he needs my awesomeness. I saved his proposal."

"You nearly ruined it, Cartman!"

"Shut it you Jew, you're the last person who can act like they know anything."

"BUTTERS!" I hear Charlotte shriek from behind us, we turn and we're shocked to see why. Butters is in the sea, swimming further and further out. Charlotte is trying to call him back while going out into the water as far as she can.

"Oh god…" I hear Tweek exclaim in shock before we all spring into action.

"Butters, come back!" I shout out, hoping to catch his attention.

No such luck.

As we run over to them, I see Tweek's eyes twitching, his breath hitching with shallow breaths. This isn't good. I think he's having an episode.

Before I can think, I see Stan taking off his shirt and diving in after Butters. OK, calm down. We need a plan. "Kenny, get Charlotte back on shore. Wendy, Cartman, call 911 and go get help." I start barking orders at everyone, they all run off while I tend to Tweek, who's hyperventilating now. "Tweek, buddy. I need you to calm down."

I look over to see Kenny having trouble getting Charlotte back to shore. "Charlie, help Kenny take care of Charlotte." She complies and heads over to convince Charlotte.

Not after a moment does Charlotte get out of the water do we hear a loud splash. Butters isn't calm at all, he's thrashing and shouting. Stan is trying his hardest to stop him from panicking and… Oh no, Butters is pushing down on Stan! It's not long before both of them go under.

"NO!" Oh god, Stan!

Thankfully, Stan comes back up with Butters over his shoulder, still flailing his limbs around like a madman. Both of them make it up to shore before Stan gently lays Butters down on his back and collapses next to him.

"Sue, take over for me." I say as I put Tweek under Sue's care and start dashing over to Stan and Butters. I start with Butters who has his eyes closed and with no signs of breathing. Immediately I begin performing CPR, clearing his airway and pressing down on his chest. After a few seconds, Butters starts coughing out the waters in his lungs and I hear him taking in deep breaths.

I then turn my attention to Stan who sits up and looks at me with proud eyes, he seems fine other than a scratch on his head. I let out a sigh in relief, "Thank Moses. You two are alright."

"Were you about to perform CPR?" Stan smiles lightheartedly, "Maybe I should've stayed in there longer."

"Jackass." I let out a choke of relieved laughter and punch him on his shoulder playfully, only now noticing a rough and prominent scar on his shoulder blade. I sneak a glance at it with concern but Stan doesn't seem to notice. It's not long before an ambulance shows up and the paramedics give us aid.

* * *

**Stan's POV**

After hearing what Charlotte and the paramedic said, I realize how much I don't know about them. It turns out Butters has Schizophrenia and what happened must've triggered Butters into an episode. Butters has been trying to stop taking medication of the cost they could save for their child and because he doesn't want to rely on them anymore. It takes them a while to calm Butters down before they take him to the hospital.

I'll be honest, even as a kid I knew there wasn't something right about Butters, but I would've never guessed it was something this serious. Watching what happened to him, it was like he lost control of where he was and he's just panicking. To lost control of your body and mind like that, it's terrifying.

Everyone is in a damped mood after what just happened, we start packing since our flight is in a few hours. Charlotte and Butters are staying for one more day so that the hospital can monitor him properly. We thank them for the trip but it was all forced false smiles. I notice Tweek sitting on Butter and Charlotte's room alone, looking distressed. "Hey Tweek, how are you feeling?"

"How do you think I feel?" He glares but I can tell he didn't mean it. "I had an episode. Right there when Butters needed more attention than I did. Right… in front of Sue."

"She's not gonna think any bad about it. You can't control it."

"That's beside the point. Butters needed me, I couldn't even take care of myself and I ended up being nothing but a burden. Kyle had to worry about me because I couldn't keep it together."

"Stop that, I don't have your condition and even I know it doesn't work like that. Look, this was just a fucked up series of events. There was nothing more we could do." Tweek seems to take in my words but he doesn't react, he sits there in silence as I let myself out of the room.

I look for my roommate but I haven't seen him since we came back from the hospital. I go to Ike's room to look for him. "Ike, have you seen Kyle?"

"He went over to the beach, had to clear his mind."

With that, I head to the beach where I finally find my redheaded companion, sitting on the seaside as he watches the waves lap against the shore. I sit down next to him and make my presence clear, "Hey, dude."

"We were just here a few hours ago, laughing and playing around like we were kids again. Reality's a bitch." Kyle says softly as he looks solemnly at the horizion. I join him as I let the thought sink in. What a fucking day…

"I didn't know Butters was capable of that." I say. "He looked so cheerful."

"That stunt Mrs Scotch pulled really terrified him, he was always scared that she'd come and finish the job. That's why he doesn't want to go back. No one in South Park comes out normal, we're all battered and scarred. Nothing more than ticking time bombs." He puts his hand on my shoulder and I flinch as I feel his finger lightly grazing over my scar. "Stan, I noticed a mark on your shoulder."

I let out an empty chuckle at the memory and his sadden expression, I don't want Kyle to feel bad over some shit Shelly did, "Like you said, no one comes out unmarked. Mine's just more obvious."

"I heard about what happened but if it's OK, I wanna hear it from you."

"After we moved to Denver, mom had to work double time to support us, which means less time together as a family. I understood why and I guess without my dad, I wizened up and tried to be the kid my mom wanted me to be. I focused on school and football, until I found music. I helped her whenever I could. But it never felt right to me, I didn't feel like I was living and all I did was drink to fill that dull feeling in my chest." Kyle shifts uncomfortably as I mention that and he looks at me apologetically. "Anyways, even with all that shit, I tried to live my new life here. Shelly wasn't taking it as well. She was already fighting with me for mom's attention but now that the time she spent home was less, there was no one left to lash out to but me. She blamed me for ruining Mom and Dad's marriage, she said if I'd kept my shitty thoughts to myself, we'd still have our old lives."

I take off the shirt to let him see my scar as I point to it. "This was from the last time I saw her, made with a knife from my 16th birthday party."

"Jesus, that's horrible." He mutters. It aches my heart to see Kyle look so guilt-ridden, like he's blaming himself for this.

"Yeah." I chuckle as I put my shirt back on. "She left quite the mark, huh?"

Kyle says nothing, looking more down casted than I've ever seen him. I get up with a jump, starling the poor redhead. "I need to get out of this funk." I look at the sea, playing in the water for a while seems like the perfect solution. "You coming?"

Kyle follows my gazes and immediately objects, "I'm not swimming in fish piss."

"Fine." I look around for a solution and I see a stand-up paddleboard at a rental shack. "How about that?" I point to the board

Kyle looks in contemplation. "Wouldn't our feet touch the water?"

"Come on, Kyle. Live a little." I whine a little as I put on a begging pout. I know that Kyle can't resist me doing that.

Jackpot! Kyle rolls his eyes and reluctantly agrees, "The things I do for you, Stan Marsh."

I practically bounce to the shack as I rent a paddleboard and life-jackets for the two of us. Kyle sits on the front end of the board while I stand on the back end with a paddle, gently pushing us out into sea. Kyle seems to relax a little as he looks out into the sea, I keep paddling as I take in the view around me. I'm gonna miss Hawaii, maybe I can come back here someday; maybe even with Kyle and the gang… or just with Kyle.

I get knocked out of my train of thought as I notice that we're getting picked up by a wave. "Woah. Hang on, Kyle." I yell excitedly.

"Stan? Stan?! What's going on?" Kyle cries out as we ride the wave until it wipes us out and we fall into the water. I pop back up onto the surface of the sea and head toward shore, giddy with adrenaline over what just happened.

Kyle comes back up shortly after with the same expression and sits next to me. "That was awesome! How high did we go?"

"I don't know." I join in his laughter. "You still upset about swimming in fish piss?"

He rolls his eyes as he splashes me, "Shut up, I wanna enjoy this."

I retaliate by picking him up and tossing him into the water again, I watch Kyle come back up with his eyes change and his grin widens. "Oh you are so dead, Marsh." We start playing around, splashing water at each other, trying to make the other give up and cry uncle.

Seeing that I make him so happy after watching him stressed out about our friends just gives my brain a burst of mind-dazing happiness. I guess this is how Kenny feels when he makes Charlie smile because I don't want this feeling to end.

I walk over to him and place my hands on the sides of his head, making him halt his attacks and stare into my eyes. I take in the sight before me, Kyle bubbling with happiness, his red locks darkens by the water and matting onto his head, his eyes and smile make him blissfully happy like the fucked up situation an hour ago never happened. He looks ever better than the day I saw him again. This sight is beautiful. He is beautiful.

"What?" He says in between his laughter, completely oblivious to my growing feelings towards him.

I can't help myself anymore. In one swift movement, I close the gap between us. I hear the laughter stop and I feel the smile on his face drop as our lips connect. This time I take even more time to remember the taste and the feeling, it's so overwhelming but intoxicating. I feel like I could get addicted the way Kyle's making me feel right now.

I pull back expecting him to slap me again like the night at my apartment, but what I see when I open my eyes is Kyle in shock, but not angry, more so innocently confused. He has this adorable 'deer-caught-in-the-headlights' look as his face flushes into a light shade of pink, "Stan…?"

Fuck, the way he said my name. I can't help it, that adorable face is begging to be kissed. I pull him in again, sealing our lips together again. I feel Kyle stiffen against me as I deepen the kiss and I feel things I never felt, not even with Wendy; this elated high, this feeling of completion and possessiveness, and the chills I feel going up and down my spine make me feel like a 10 year old boy figuring out how to kiss again.

The last thing on my mind is the feeling of Kyle slowly moving his hands to cradle the back of my head and his fingers running through on my hair as his lips begin to move with mine. I wrap one arm around his waist, pulling him closer before my brain short-circuits from our kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's your first big romance scene between these two. I've been looking forward to writing this scene since I started this. Next time, we see how Kyle reacts to Stan's advances.
> 
> Holy shit, this took so much longer than I planned with everything going on. I am so sorry and I hope it's worth the wait. Next chapter will come back on the usual Friday schedule.
> 
> I hope you guys like the Stick of Truth segment, that put took forever to write since I'm not used to writing action and I had to learn how to write this by reading through Stick of Truth stories. By the way if you wanna read awesome SoT stories with a little more variety (and Not an AU), I recommend "Rise of the Dragonborn" by TheDarkAngel'sShadow and "South Park: Stick of Truth (Female version)" by Mage of Hope.
> 
> As always, feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS. Please let me know what you think, reviews and comments make my day c:
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	32. Something About Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a kiss was shared between Stan and Kyle, Kyle starts breaking down in more ways than one. Kenny steps in to be the voice of reason to try and get Kyle to finally open up.

**Kyle's POV**

I don't know what's happening to me, I can't think anymore. All I know is that I love this new feeling, I want more.

I need more.

I pull him closer as I desperately try to get more of it. But soon the high wears off and my clouded mind is slowly coming back to me. What am I doing? Is Stan kissing me? Was that what was giving me my high?

Wait... **HE'S KISSING ME!?**

I pull away from him abruptly, my heart is racing harder and faster than it did when I woke up in his grasp and it feels like my heart is choking me. I look up at my raven hair companion but he still looks dazed, his eyes glossed over and his lips are kiss-swollen and slightly apart as light pants escape from them.

I break away from his hold and give him another slap, too out of my mind to put any real effort into it but it does the job. He looks confused as I walk back towards the house. I must look ridiculous right now, my clothes are soaking wet from the ocean, my face feels blazing hot, red from the blood accumulating there, and I look like I’m ready to kill someone.

I try to calm my heart and shaking hands, I need to get away from Stan right now. I can’t believe he- we- I don’t know what happened.

“Kyle, what’s wrong?” Stan asks me, looking confused and concerned as he tries to approach me.

Before he can put his hand on my shoulder, I grab his wrist and push him away, “Don’t touch me.”

“Huh?” Again, Stan looks completely oblivious to what’s happening. Damn him.

“Why did you do that?” I ask with a monotone, almost-robotic tone. I don’t care how cold I sound right now, I need answers.

What surprises me is that Stan gives me what is probably the vaguest and most infuriating answer, “Because I wanted to.”

“You… just suddenly decided you want to kiss me.” I repeat, hoping that he’ll realize how utterly ridiculous that sounds.

Stan stays quiet as he contemplates, he furrows his brows as he says, “I don’t understand. You were fine when we were kissing.”

“Don’t call it that.” I stop him with that eerily cold voice. “That was _not_ a mutual kiss, it was one-sided at most.”

He looks at me with a gawked mouth and those breathtaking blue eyes are now cold and filled with emotion, “One-sided? Are you kidding me?” He notices that the emotionless look on my face and mumbles to himself, “Is this part of your anxiety?”

I turn sharply to look him in the eye, mustering as much rage as I can as I snarl, “Stop talking about it like you know me, you don’t know shit.”

“So tell me, Kyle!” He shouts in my face and he throws his arms up in frustration. “Because I’m confused as shit. I kissed you and you kissed me back.”

“I didn’t kiss you. Did I say I liked it? Did I say I want to be kissed? No. We never kissed, we’ll never speak of this again. So leave me alone and _never_ touch me again.” I give him one last warning before marching into the house, past my friends and into an empty room

“Kyle, what happened?” I hear Ike ask as he tries to open the door. No use, Ike. There’s a lock for a reason.

“I’m not in the mood, tell me when we leave for the airport.”

I need a moment to get my brain straight. Everything’s so screwed up right now and I just can’t even think about what I’m saying anymore. I just need to put myself back together, I take deep breaths as I try to regulate my erratic heartbeat. Think of calming things, Kyle. Breathe in… breathe out. Ok, calming things… This trip, it’s been fun. Spending time with my friends. Celebrating Butters’ engagement. Setting up that performance, having fun… with Stan. I close my eyes, wishing that it was all just some messed up dream but all I can see is Stan kissing me again. I can still feel the lingering feeling of his fingers on my face, the intense stare he gave me as he pulled me in…

No! Don’t think about him like that! What’s wrong with me?! It’s happening again, my hands are trembling, and my heart feels like it’s collapsing on itself. This is bullshit! Who is he to come back into my life and fuck around with my head like that?!

I kick the furniture over in frustration as I’m left alone with my thoughts, each new one becomes more ridiculous and loud. I don’t know anymore, I don’t know.

* * *

**Kenny's POV**

After Kyle locks himself in the empty room, Stan retreats back into his and does the same, leaving the rest of us completely clueless as to what the fuck just happened between those two. It's like they went back to the way they were half a year ago, like when Stan first moved in with us. Actually it's worse because Stan looks so cold and frustrated while Kyle looks furious, but in those burning green eyes I notice something else, fear.

I just don't understand what happened that would make Kyle do this after him and Stan were on such great terms. Things don't get better after takeoff, Kyle asks me to trade seats with him, which is a row down and near the aisle, the furthest seat away from Stan's among us. Charlie, now sitting next to Kyle, looks incredibly concerned for him. Stan on the other hand, is just staring outside the plane window with his brows burrowed in frustration. We all go home and we say our goodbyes to Sue and Charlie as Sue drives her back to her aunt.

As we enter the house, I think Stan couldn't take the silent treatment anymore and grabs Kyle by the shoulder, turning Kyle to face him. "Ok, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I have nothing to say to you." Kyle keeps his head down and replies in a cold tone that I haven't heard in a long time. It's enough to send chills down my spine.

"I have something to say." Stan says with a firm tone, sounds like this is really serious. "Kyle, this is ridiculous. All I did was kiss you, if you don't like it just tell me. Don't pull this crap."

"Wait what?" Ike, Tweek and I both shout in shock. I figured something big happened to cause Kyle to act like that, but I never thought it was this.

Stan notices our astonished outbursts and explains, "I kissed Kyle at the bench earlier today, because I have feelings for him."

"I told you, that wasn't a mutual kiss. You forced yourself onto me, you bastard."

"Listen to yourself, you're not making any sense."

Kyle just rolls his eyes and mocks him, "Wow, how can you say that without any shame?"

Stan, probably realizing that he isn't getting through to Kyle, just lets his shoulders drop and a sigh of indifference, "Fuck this, come talk to me once you've got your emotions straight."

"Fuck you! My emotions are fine, you're the one letting your fucked up emotions control you!" Kyle shouts at Stan as Stan retreats into his room without a second glance, "Screw this, I'm going upstairs." Kyle clenches his bags in his hands and stomps up into his room, leaving the three of us stunned over what just happened.

Did Kyle Broflovski just backed down from a fight? He'd never usually let these stuff go. Last time someone tried to put moves on him, that guy walked away with a busted lip and a dislocated arm.

Tweek looks concerned as he whispers in thought, "You don't think…"

Ike just crosses his arms and scoffs at Tweek's implication, "If that's really what happened, do you think Stan would still be alive?"

Either way, this is bad for both of them. We need to figure out what's going on. Ike is right about one thing, no one lays an unwanted hand on Kyle Broflovski. But that could only mean… Stop, Kenny. Don't jump to conclusions yet, no matter how likely they are. Even if those suspicions are true, I need to hear Kyle say it himself.

I take the initiative to knock on Kyle's door, knowing very well that he locked it after storming in.

No response.

I try again, knocking harder on the wooden door as the hard knocks form a loud thumping sound.

Again, no response.

Tweek sees this and says, "Kenny, I don't think Kyle wants to talk to us."

I ignore him, and use all my strength to slam my fist onto that wooden door. Tweek and Ike flinch at the sound created as echoes loudly through the house.

It doesn't make Kyle open his door, but it does catch Stan's attention. He opens his door and shows himself at his doorway, "Kenny, can you keep it down? I'm trying to reco-"

"Shut up, asshole." I cut him off angrily. "Don't talk to me after what you did to Kyle. Kyle's like a brother to me, and I won't let him get hurt by some prevented bastard who never bothered to come back!"

Those words enrage Stan as he slams his door shut with full force, it takes any ounce of my mind to not flinch at the sound like Tweek and Ike do. I feel bad for accusing Stan of something he never intended to do but it does just the job as I hear Kyle's door being unlocked and the door creak as he slightly opens.

"Come in, Kenny." Kyle says quietly as he lets me, and only me in.

He closes the door again and sits down on his bad with an unidentifiable look on his face. "You didn't have to be so hard on Stan. You know him, he's more emotional than any of us. I doubt he actually meant to hurt me."

"Kyle, why did you lie?" I decide to just come straight out and ask, no beating around the bush.

"What?"

"About the kiss." I clarify, "Why did you lie about it to us? To Stan?"

"Not you too." He grimaces. "Why does everyone act like they know what I'm thinking?!"

I know what he's doing, he's feigning ignorance to avoid the subject. He's pulled this trick too many times but I can't let him get away with this one. "Have you even been hearing what you're saying? Kyle, Stan has been our friend since pre-K and he hasn't changed. But you? You're too blind-sighted by your own walls to see that. What are you trying to protect with those defense? Your relationship anxiety? The same one you've been fighting to get rid of? Is it really worth defending yourself so much that you'd treat your best friend as some perverted sexual predator?"

Kyle doesn't say a word, he just looks at his feet like they're the ones talking to him. I make him look me as I say,"Kyle Broflovski, I am asking you as your friend, be honest with yourself. Did you like the kiss?"

I hear Kyle mumble softly, "I didn't hate it…"

"Yes or no answer, Kyle." I chide.

I watch Kyle shrink a little as I hear his answer, "… Yes."

"Did you feel anything?"

He nods and answers, "It felt shocking, and terrifying, and… nice."

That's new. A kiss to Kyle is usually an emotionless act, like a façade he has. Ever since that bitch Vivi broke him, he'd never trust anyone with his emotions, kisses from party games and blind dates were meaningless to him, and he would always fear that the next person he trusted would play him just like her.

He just shakes his head in confusion as he stutters, "I don't- I just don't understand. This is insane, I'm supposed to know… That's what I've been studying so _I should know_ , but now I don't even stop shaking. I don't know what to think." He tightens his fist and tenses up as his feelings of devastation grow, "Why do I feel like this? Why Stan? Why do I always have feelings for the people who hurt me the most?!"

It breaks my heart to see Kyle like this, but he needs this. I pat him on the back, "Just get some sleep, Kyle. You need some time."

I left Kyle to his thoughts as I exit the room, Ike and Tweek are standing right outside Kyle's room. Ike gives me a grateful smile as he goes downstairs but Tweek looks empty as he leans against the wall.

"Tweek?" I ask with concern.

"I'm sorry." He says with a hint of guilt in his eyes. "I just- I nearly cried when I heard Kyle talking about... the kiss, and him opening up that it felt nice."

Oh… I get it now. "It's Ok to feel jealous about it." I console him.

"I want to get over my anxiety too." He says wistfully, "I could barely get by kissing without breaking down… Let alone go any further. Just once, I want to love someone without worrying that I'd fall apart and freak her out"

I give Tweek a high five and a bro hug for support as we go back to our rooms. I don't know what's gonna happen between us now, and I don't know how I can help them this time.

* * *

**Stan's POV**

So… last night was a complete disaster. I can't believe Kyle didn't feel the same. I was so sure when we were kiss- Well according to him, that wasn't really a kiss. Fucking asshole. If he doesn't feel the same, that's fine. But why did he make it sound like I raped him? Kenny too. How could he say that about me? He should know that I'd never hurt Kyle, at least on purpose.

But did I really hurt him that much with that kiss? I know I said I should follow my heart and I felt like I did the right thing, so why is everything turning out so wrong?

Ugh… I really don't want to have to deal with everyone after last night. I can't stay in bed all day though, I get up and get to my morning routine. I walk into the dining room, hoping no one is there right now. Thankfully the kitchen is empty now, maybe I can grab a snack and leave without having to worry about-

"Hey, Stan." I hear Ike's voice from behind me. I sigh in disappointment, no such luck I guess.

"Morning Ike." I greet him, genuinely surprised that he's the only one. "Where are the others?"

"Are you that eager to see them right now?" Ike raises an eyebrow as he walks in, "Tweek and Kenny are at work and Kyle's still asleep. I need to talk to you."

I groan internally. Great, now his brother is going to yell at me. "Let me guess, it's about me kissing Kyle."

"Partially, but that's not the focus here." He walks up to me with the sternest look I've ever seen, "I'm just going to get to the point here, are you serious about getting into a relationship with my brother?"

"What?" I ask stupidly, a little disoriented from my expectations.

"You know about what happened between Kyle and that little witch so I'm gonna skip that. You should know why Kyle's so hesitant about relationships, that girl hurt Kyle in ways I can't even describe and it left a bigger impact than any of us thought it would." Ike recalls solemnly before reverted back into protective brother mode, "Kyle isn't acting like that because he hates you. It's a defense that he puts up to protect himself, unfortunately the dumbass doesn't know when to lower it down. Even if he'll never admit it, you've hurt him more than you'd ever know by not coming back to South Park 8 years ago. So I'm warning you now Stanley Marsh, don't mess with my brother if you're not serious because if you hurt him again, I will never let you forget it." He threatens me with a glare that reminds me of the angered, blood thirsty ones Kyle reserves solely for Cartman.

We break apart once we hear footsteps coming down the stairs. Ike reverts back into Kyle's adorably annoying little brother and chirps "Good morning, big bro."

"Hey, Ike." Kyle ruffles his little brother's hair as he lets out a yawn. "Ready to head home?"

"Yeah, just let me get my bags." Ike walks out into the living room but not without shooting me another warning glare.

Now that Kyle and I are alone, I begin to feel the awkward silence around us. Thankfully Kyle makes a move to break that silence, "Stan, I want to apologize for my outburst yesterday. I was feeling illogical and I apologize."

"What's with the big words, Kyle?"

"Listen to me, I did some thinking last night and I'll admit it, I liked the kiss." I reel in shock as I listen to Kyle's words. That catches me by surprise, he liked it? Does that mean that-

"But that's that, it was in the heat of the moment and we didn't know what to feel." He concludes, much to my disappointment.

OK, so… Kyle admits that he likes it. At least I didn't scare him off, that's a start. I notice that Kyle is waiting for a response, so with the information he and Ike have given me, I give what I believe is the best response for both of us. "It's a big change, I understand if you need time."

"That's not what I-" Kyle tries to retaliate but I put my hand up to stop him.

"So just knock on my door three times or let my phone ring three times." I continue. "Then I know you're interested, if you don't feel the same way, then let it be. We'll just keep being friends like we've always had."

Kyle looks hesitant and before he can say anything, Ike re-enters the room with his bags in hand. "OK, Kyle. I'm ready."

"Y-yeah. I'll go get my keys." Kyle looks utterly shell-shocked as he and Ike leave the kitchen.

I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding as I watch the brothers leave, I haven't even realize how nervous I am when I confronted Kyle like that. At least he didn't shoot me down right away. The die is tossed, I've placed my bets and I've given the choice to Kyle. The ball's in his court now so it's his call whether I'll be in the friend-zone or I'll have my first boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... Who didn't see Kyle's freak out coming? He isn't ready to open himself up yet, but all he needs is a push in the right direction. Next time, we follow Kyle and Ike back to South Park while Stan visits his mother.
> 
> Two chapters in a week, its a little tighter than I thought. Hopefully you guys don't mind a shorter chapter. I've been looking forward to writing this chapter in particular and if you've seen the drama, you'd know why. It is one of the more quiet and serious scenes where they just talk about how much more their mental illnesses are affecting them than they're letting on. It's a truly bittersweet scene and one of my personal favorites c:
> 
> If you didn't know, the title of the chapter is from "Something About Us" by Daft Punk, which is what I consider one of the most iconic Style songs. Feel free to listen to it when reading this.
> 
> As always, feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS. Please let me know what you think, reviews and comments make my day.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	33. It Runs in the Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle takes Ike back to South Park and now he has to deal with his mother, Charlie convinces Kenny to set up another meeting with Bebe, Stan goes to visit his mom and receives some concerning news about his sister.

**Kyle's POV**

I clench the steering wheel as I continue my drive back to South Park. Ike is sitting in the passenger seat, just mindlessly switching between radio channels before stopping to open the glove compartment for my CDs.

I could care less about the music right now, I can't stop thinking about what Stan said. He said that he has feelings for me, and I think he wants to win me over. What am I thinking? Just because we- come on Kyle, you've admitted that it was a kiss too. Just acknowledge it. Right.

Just because we kissed, that doesn't mean we should be a couple. He's probably kissed a bunch of people like that before, at parties and on dates. Even if he got caught up in the moment like that, why does my heart hurt just thinking about that? Do I want to love him? Could I even love him if I tried? I haven't given my heart to anyone since- Ugh, I'm doing it again. Why am I over-analyzing this? Why can't I be like Stan and just 'follow my heart' like him?

Suddenly, I hear an old but familiar chord, this song… "Ike, did you put on this song?" I ask, Ike just smiles knowingly and hands me a CD box with some writing on it

_SBF Mixtape_

_Happy birthday Kyle._

Even without reading the words I knew what it was, he made this for me for my 9th birthday. It was the last birthday gift I got from Stan before he left.

"Wow… I didn't even remember that I had this." I smile at the memory, I guess there will always be a part of Stan on my mind. Ike turns up the volume, blasting the song through the speakers. I just relax and reminisce about the times Stan and I just lounge about in one of our rooms, playing this playlist he chose for me as we just went about being kids.

"You considering Stan's offer?"

I stop my train of thought at Ike's words and respond defensively, "Don't phrase it like that, you make it sound like he's making a deal with me."

"It'd be a pretty shitty deal for him, if you ask me." Ike shrugs in his seat, "He'll have to be your little lapdog and deal with you and all your mood swings; all you have to do is give him affection and a pat on the head."

"Shut up, Ike. It won't be like that."

"So you've considered it." Dammit, I played right into his hands.

"What's there to consider?" I hiss dismissively, "He said that I don't have to do anything if I'm not interested in dating. Which I'm not."

Anyways, I don't think we should date. He's probably too enamored by the concept and I'm not really the best candidate to be anyone's boyfriend. I'm too emotionally unstable, like I said, I don't know how I feel about Stan right now and it's unfair to let myself date someone while I'm so unsure, and with my condition it'll feel like I'd be using Stan to get rid of it. I don't want to use Stan.

"You may be a smart man Kyle, but you're a horrible liar, especially to yourself."

"Ugh, I don't wanna have to worry about Stan now. I'm now worried about dealing with Ma when we get home."

"Hey, I'm not the one who didn't come home for Hanukkah last year."

"I wanted to get away from South Park for a while. Could you blame me?"

"No, but I expected at least a phone call saying, 'Happy Hanukkah.' Was that too much?"

Damn, he got me there. I remain silent until I admit, "I'll admit, I probably could've handled it better."

"That, along with a lot of other things." Ike scoffs.

"She's too controlling, Ike. Remember how scared we always were because we knew how she'd react over something so little? I wanted to stay with my friends and she kept pushing me to Berkeley or Harvard. I had to basically fight with her to stay in Denver with the guys." It wasn't a pleasant memory to say the least. Ma was really happy when she found out I wanted to be a doctor, not so much when I mentioned that I wanted to study psychiatry. In her mind, she thinks that I'll be dealing with psychopaths and the mentally insane. At the end I won but

"I told you, I'm not saying she's right. Hell I'm scared of her too. You should've seen her face when I told her I was dating _the_ Karen McCormick. I guess after you came out, she was hoping at least I would want a Jewish girl." He sighs dejectedly before lecturing me again. "Either way, she's still our mom. So stop making it sound like you're going to war."

I groan hopelessly as I drive up the mountains, I know I'm just prolonging the inevitable. "Fine."

A three hour drive back home from Denver isn't too bad, but three hours isn't enough to prepare one for the sheer unpredictability of Shelia Broflovski. I love my Ma, I really do but I keep feeling like I have to watch every step I take around her. My love life does that to me enough already, I don't need it from my own mother too.

I park the car on the driveway and shut off the engine, not too eager to go inside the house just yet. Ike notices and sighs, "Am I gonna have to drag you in or do I have to go get mom to do it?"

"I'll be fine." I mumble as my forehead rests on the steering wheel, trying to gather the strength to not just go fuck it and drive straight back to Denver. I must look pathetic.

After another few minutes of self-pity, I pick myself up. "Come on, Ike." I say as I exit the car.

"Ma, Dad, We're home." I announce as we enter our warm green home. Dad is sitting on the couch, watching the evening news about the mayor's new Christmas lights for this year's tree. I hear the bustling of kitchenware and the nostalgic aroma of kosher food, Ma must be in the kitchen preparing dinner.

"Welcome back, boys." Dad greets us without taking his eyes off the screen, I'm glad that my dad actually did keep himself away from his computer unless it's for work. I really don't want to save Skankhunt42's ass again from the wrath of the townsfolk and my Ma.

"Kyle bubbi, where were you?" I hear her hollering from the kitchen before walking out of there. "You two were supposed to be back here an hour ago. Your father and I were getting worried."

Ike jabs my side with his elbow as he goes to help her set up the table. I roll my eyes and answer, "We got stuck in some traffic during the rush hour."

Dad turns off the TV and gestures me to the dining table. "Well either way, I'm glad you boys made it back in time for dinner."

I knew that I'd probably have to end up dealing with dinner and chit-chat from my parents, but that doesn't mean I want it to happen, part of me really wants to say no thanks and walk out the door to start my drive back to the gang, maybe even get some Denny's for dinner. But the glare Ike shoots me a glare that pretty much knocks that idea out. I give in and sit at the table.

"Thanks, Ma." I thank her as she hands me a serving.

We all sit down and Ike waits a little before asking, "Mom, where's Karen? I thought she said she'll be here for dinner."

"She called earlier and said that she had to work extra shifts today. I'll leave some dinner for her." She responds before digging into dinner.

Ike seems satisfied with her answer and begins eating. We proceed with dinner before Dad tries for some small talk, "So boys, how was Hawaii?"

"It was amazing, I haven't seen Kenny and Butters since they left South Park." Ike chirps excitedly with his cheeks filled with food, "Hawaii is really pretty too. I met some of Kyle's other friends too, Charlie and Sue."

"Isn't Charlie the transgender kid you talked out of suicide?" Dad asks.

"Yeah, she's become one of our closest friends and Kenny's new girlfriend." I answer, feeling a little more at ease to share parts of my life with my family.

"I hope you took good care of your brother, Kyle."

"Of course, Ma." I nod flatly.

"And how's Denver, bubbi?"

"School's fine. Kenny found us a really cool place that's near campus. Living with Tweek and Kenny is great, we spend most of our time hanging out and having fun."

"And have you met any nice boys?"

I know she was gonna ask this sooner or later, I groan internally as I give her the same answer I always give her. "… No, I'm not looking for anyone right now anyways."

She sighs and she puts her fork down. Oh god, here we go.

"Kyle, I know you don't like me rushing you but I want to help you get better." She starts, "Do you want me to find someone? I'm worried at this rate you'll end up alone."

"No. I don't need you playing matchmaker." I snap as I prop my head with my arm, turning myself away from her as I stare at the food on my plate.

"Besides, Kyle can take care of himself, mom." Ike speaks up to defend me, I think about how to thank him for that until I hear what he says next, "Stan even kissed him and asked him out."

Ike looks panicked too as he realizes what he just said and immediately shuts up, he dares a quick glance over to see my expression. If you weren't my little brother Ike, you'd be ten foot under before bedtime.

"Stan?" She raises an eyebrow, "Do you mean Stanley Marsh? I haven't seen him in 8 years."

Ike looks up at me helplessly and apologetically, I have no choice now but to tell her what she wants to know, "Yeah… we met up again in Denver. He moved in with us about half a year ago."

"Have you accepted his proposal?" She suddenly asks, making me choke on my food at her implication.

"Propos- You make it sound like I'm marrying him!" I shout after I regain my speech.

"Kyle, you've been alone for so long since that girl broke your heart. You've rejected every time I find a boy for you. You could at least try and date him, you could even get better."

I slam my fist onto the table, silencing everyone at the table. "How can you say that?! It's not that easy." I look at her with a dark expression, I stand up and excuse myself from the table, "I'm done with dinner."

"Kyle, it's too late to drive now." Ike immediately says, stopping me from walking out the front door. "Why don't you stay the night?"

"Clean up your room and you can sleep there tonight." Mom says with her back turned towards me.

"Whatever." I just roll in eyes but comply. I'm not gonna walk out the door like some prepubescent teen and make everything worse.

I walk up the stairs and enter the first door on the left, my room. It's a little emptier than when I was here last time but everything I left was still where it's supposed to be. The one thing I left behind the most were pictures: pictures of me, Kenny and Tweek back in junior year and some from our middle school dance. Then I notice something I forgot about for a while now, an old picture of me and Stan, at his 10th birthday party, the last picture I had of us together as kids.

The two of us were grinning like complete idiots with bits of cake frosting stuck to our faces, we were so innocent and happy back then… What I wouldn't give to just spend another day like that with him.

"You know mom didn't mean it like that." My thoughts get interrupted by the sudden appearance of Ike at the door.

I put down the picture and say, "I don't care, Ike. How could she just dismiss it like that? She makes it sound like it's _my_ fault I'm not better yet."

"It's not just your fault, Kyle. But you're not doing yourself any favors." He points out, "You try to keep it hidden but I heard you cry at night sometimes. I know you're haunted by it, but can you at least keep trying? Isn't that like psychiatry 101? 'You can't help a patient who doesn't have the will to help himself.' You're stronger than this."

"I know… I know. The last thing I need is to be lectured on psychiatry by a pipsqueak like you."

"Says you, I'm taller than you." He smirks,

"By half an inch." I return the jab playfully, the two of us laugh and I can feel the tension in the room dissolve a little.

"But I'm still growing, I'll tower over you soon enough."

"I just wished that she could see it through my eyes." I sigh, "You're scared of ghosts, Ike. How would you feel if I left you in a haunted graveyard and told you to get over it?"

"It's not the same, I can live a normal life regardless of that fear. Can you really say you'll be happy if you don't overcome yours?" He looks at me earnestly as he says, "Even if it doesn't seem like it, we care about you. I care, dad cares, and in her own way mom cares too. We all want to see you happy, Kyle."

"Thanks, Ike. Tell me when Karen comes over. I wanna meet my future sister-in-law."

"Well you have no problem accepting Kenny as your brother-in-law."

"Hey, he's practically family already."

Ike gives me a fist bump and leaves, allowing me to soak in the childhood memories I have on this room. The four of us were a weird misfit of friends but Stan and I were the most solid of the bunch. Now… He wants more than just friendship. He likes me, he wants to date me. I recount with a weird new emotion now. I soon recognize it, it's an emotion I haven't experienced in a while, hope.

* * *

**Kenny's POV**

I must look like an idiot now. Here I am, sitting in a coffee shop, talking to my baby sister with my jaw dropped onto the ground. After asking about her life back in South Park, she just drops a bombshell onto me. I reel in the shock and the first thing I say once I've regain control is, "… I'm sorry Karen, what?"

I hear her sigh through the speaker, "You heard me. I'm dating Ike Broflovski."

"Yeah…That's what I thought you said." I mumble under my breath as I bring my hand to my forehead, creasing the furrows above my brow. "How long have you two been together?" I ask.

"About 2 months now." Karen replies warily before asking with a meek and worried tone, "Are you mad?"

God dammit I can imagine her looking at me with those wide sky-blue eyes of hers, that's my only weakness. Any anger I might have had, which was none, dissolves as soon as I hear the worried tone in her voice. "Karen sweetie, I'm not mad. I'm just worried." I reassure her.

Her voice perks up after hearing that, "You really shouldn't. Ike is such a sweet guy. He helps me when those jerks pick on me in school."

I smile as I hear her gush about her boyfriend, I can only imagine the huge grin on her face and the love in her eyes. She must really like him. "I'm just upset he didn't say anything while he was with us in Hawaii."

"I asked him not to, I wanted to tell you. Ike would tell Kyle and I would tell you, seems fair doesn't it?"

So Kyle knew before me and he didn't say anything? I'm so getting him back for keeping this a secret.

"Is Ike there with you?" I ask her.

"Uh, yeah. He's talking to Kyle right now. I'm over at their place for brunch."

Well, talking to Kyle is probably gonna be easier than talking to Ike. "Can you pass the phone to Kyle?"

"Ok." She says before I hear her voice calling for Kyle.

A few rustling sounds through the phone later, I hear my housemate's voice, "Hello?"

"Kyle, you son of a bitch. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm guessing Karen told you, huh?" His voice sounds calm and collected, he's probably been expecting that, "They told me to keep it quiet. Ike said she wanted to be the one to break the news. Who am I to deny her that?"

"Are you OK with that?"

"With what? My brother dating your sister?" Kyle laughs before answering, "Why not? We've watched those two grow up and you've practically been like my brother. What difference is a label gonna make?"

I laugh along with him. You know what, he's right. "Fair enough."

"If you're worried about Ike, don't. You know Ike just as well as I do, Ike's a responsible and loyal kid. He'd put Karen first before even himself, if he did anything to hurt her, I'd kill him before you even try."

"Nah, she's my baby sister. I get the first strike." I joke before continuing with a serious tone, "I'm not scared that he'll hurt Karen, I'm just worried that's all. I'm sure you understand."

"If it wasn't the sweet little Karen McCormick I know, I wouldn't have been as trusting towards a girl with my brother's heart."

"Understood." I say as I see the café door open and see the girl I've been waiting for. "Gotta go, buddy. My 'date' is here. Tell Karen I'll try to come to see her this summer."

"Good luck, Kenny. Fuck knows you'll need it." With that, Kyle hangs up the call. I take a deep breath as the girl with blonde hair sits down at the table.

"Hello, Kenny." Bebe greets with a small smile, "I was surprised that you actually called me to meet up."

"Don't get too comfy. Charlie said that I should at least listen to Wendy once and have a civil conversation with you."

She nods in acknowledgement, "She's mature for her age. Is she your new girlfriend?"

"Yes." I respond flatly as I tap my fingers on the table "So what is it you wanna talk about?"

"I- I want to apologize. I know what I did was horrible and I don't expect you to just forgive and forget. Even if I made the call, it hasn't been easy for me either." She reaches for her stomach as she says softly, "I can't help but feel guilty, even after a month from the abortion I can still feel our child inside me, kicking, growing… Sometimes I even feel a second heartbeat."

She's been feeling that for a month? I knew abortions aren't easy on women but I didn't think about the psychological aspect of it. I've grieved over our child but Bebe was the one who was actually carrying the child and the one who made the call of having it removed out of her.

She continues, "I know it's impossible but I couldn't stop thinking about what would've happened if we'd have the kid and stayed together. Then I just keep thinking, would we've been happy?"

"I would've tried to-" I try to rebut but she quickly silences me with her next words.

"That's not what I mean. Kenny, tell me honestly, do you really think the two of us would've worked as a couple? You have your sister to worry about and you were ready to settle down in South Park; but I wanted something bigger: A chance to see the world and leave my name as someone important to society. I wanted a chance to prove my worth to the world."

I let what she says sink in, trying to sympathize with her views, "I see."

"We're too different and bringing a child into this world would've not only complicated our lives but their life too. I don't want our child to suffer for our mistakes."

I want to yell at her, saying that she never gave us a chance but… I think I know that I'm fighting a losing battle, if there's one thing I know about Bebe Stevens is that she's very driven. She knows what she wants and she'll work until she gets it. She's not one to settle down with a family and our lives would've been bounded together only by that child. I hate to even think about it, but she's right. I'm still detested by her actions but I don't think we could've lasted with the way we are, and the last thing I want to do is to make a child live with a broken family.

"I'm not saying what I did was fair but right now I believe that it was the right decision. We've moved onto our own separate lives with the people we love, maybe one day we'll form families and have our own children to love too." She finishes with a bittersweet look of relief, like she has finally been released from the chains of her own guilt.

"I'm not saying I forgive you for the stunt you pulled but I can kinda see where you're coming from. Still I wished you would've talked to me about it."

She agrees dejectedly, "Maybe I should've. Aren't we a mess?"

"Well that's what happens when you let a couple of hormonal sex-crazed teenagers fuck about." I chuckle, trying to lighten up the mood. "As messed up as it is to say, I kinda envy Kyle on that. He never had to deal with issues like this."

"Right… Kyle, how has he been?" She asks.

"He's been better, right now he's having a hissy fit over Stan."

"I heard a little from Wendy. Those two really are dense, they just need to get together. I can tell they're good for each other." She shakes her head in disappointment.

"Not like we're better like the love department than they are." I point out.

"I guess you're right." She smiles sadly.

We fall once again into silence, but it's not a painstaking silence. It gives me time to sort through my thoughts. Like I said, I never really considered it from Bebe's perspective. I always believed that I could've changed her mind if I had the chance, even if she didn't want our child I could raise them by myself. But in the end, I was being selfish. Who am I to demand that Bebe keeps a child that she wants or has the ability to take care of? And even if our child was born, could I guarantee them happiness? What if they ended up wishing they were never born?

God, I never wanted someone to suffer for my own desires, especially the ones I care about.

I hear the sound of a remainder on my phone and I check the time. Shit, I pretty go now. "I have to go. I have a date with Charlie later."

"Ok. Thank you, Kenny, for this. It was nice talking to you again, like adults. I hope we can remain as close friends." She smiles, she acts much more at ease now than before. I, surprisingly, feel much lighter too. I suddenly see my ex-girlfriend as less of the demon witch I labelled her as but rather the determined and headstrong blonde I knew since elementary school.

"Not now, but maybe soon enough." I don't know if I could completely forgive her for what she did, going behind my back like that. But at least, we should try and be like adults. I've taken the first step and hopefully both of us can recover from this.

* * *

**Stan's POV**

"Hey, mom. I got you that coffee you wanted." I give Mom the bag of Hawaiian roast coffee after I enter the house. This is one of the few times I've actually visited home since Shelly was released. Mom said that Shelly hasn't been at home in days and that she could prevent Shelly from attacking me if she comes back while I'm still here.

"Thank you, Stan. I'll be looking forward to this tomorrow morning." She takes the small bag as we sit down on the couch in the living room, "So how was your trip?"

"It was really nice to see Butters again. They've changed so much since I last saw them." I recount my trip, all the fun we had in the sea, Butter's love proclamation… my kiss with Kyle. Ugh, it sucks not knowing what's going on in that little red head of his but I said I'd wait for him.

"I'm sorry Stanley." I get cut off from my Kyle-related wallows when Mom suddenly apologizes with a sullen look in her eyes "It wasn't fair for me to take you away from the lives we had in South Park and expect you to come with me regardless. I should've given you a choice."

"And what? Live with Dad? No thanks but I'm sure Kyle and the others would've understand if those were my two options." I try to lighten the mood a little with a shrug, "I just wish, I could have said goodbye to them and kept in touch. Maybe all this wouldn't have happened. Anyways, can't change that now." I don't want Mom to feel bad for trying to be happy.

"Stanley. Do you blame me?" She asks, I'm caught off guard by this question and the hurt in her voice, "I sometimes feel like I should've just stayed with Randy, at least until you two went to college and could be on your own. I went through with the divorce and now look at us, I had to work so much that I neglected you two, Shelly ended up in prison, you turned to drinking and I didn't even have time to find another man." She ends with a hollow laugh.

"Mom, my alcoholism is my problem, you didn't cause it. I'm still working on it. One day I'll be able to go throughout the day without a drop of whiskey." I mutter as much confidence as I can along as much of that confidence as I can fake to reassure her, "And I don't blame you. You were in a tough situation. I don't even know what I'd do if I was in your position, you gave up everything for us and you did the best you could to raise us. I don't blame you mom, and… I'm sure Shelly will feel the same too."

She looks at me solemnly at the mention of by wayward sister, "Shelly. My own little girl has been so distant from me. I haven't been able to talk to her much and I haven't seen her in weeks. Dr. Nixon has been busy with her niece but she told me she hasn't seen Shelly in months. She asked me to warn you, Shelly might still be a threat to you… so be careful. I don't want to see you two get hurt."

Mom and I talk until 4, with her talking about work and how Janice from accounting doesn't give a fuck about taking people's lunches from the break room and how Cartman drags me into a recording room to record that song what Cartman wanted for my audition. Is it weird that he's taking this way more seriously than I am? Then again he is my manager once again so he probably just wants the fame and money. We say goodbyes and I promise to visit again next week, hopefully with some good news, maybe some relating to Kyle. I really hope so.

I begin driving back until I pass a bunch of shops and notice a familiar face. I park my car and get out, wondering if my eyes really saw what I saw. I found them again and sure enough, it was Z. He's following another guy, clearly older than him.

"Jeff, come on man." I hear Z plead.

"Zac, I'm only gonna tell you once. Leave me alone." The one Z called Jeff snarls back at him.

Wait, I recognize that name. That's the name of Z's stepbrother. Why is Z chasing after his douche of a brother?

"No!" Z stands firm, "Mom has been worried sick about you. You've gotta come home."

So that's why. It's not so much because for Jeff or his own sake but for his mother's.

"She's only worried because she's scared my dad will dump her ass once he realizes I'm gone."

"Don't talk about our mom like that, Dad won't do that." Z defends his mom.

"Shut up." Jeff scowls, "She's not my mom and he's not your dad. You little runt, you're gonna learn your place." I start hearing steady but forceful footsteps until Z gets pinned to the alley wall with a painful yelp. Jeff balls his hand into a fist and pulls it back with enough force to seriously hurt Z.

I can't let him get hurt! I step into the alleyway before Jeff hurts poor Z. "So you're the stepbrother I've been hearing so much about?" I call out.

Both of them turn to look at me Z looks utterly confused at my sudden presence, "Stan?"

Jeff on the other hand looks annoyed, he grabs Z by his shirt as he demands an answer, "Zac, who is this?"

I quickly pull Jeff off of him and plant myself between the two. "None of your concern, you douche." I warn Jeff, "Now back away before I kick your ass."

"He's my stepbrother, I can do whatever I want." He snaps, "You on the other hand, should keep your ass out of other people's business."

Without turning to face Z who's behind me, I urge him to run, "Z, I want you to run and go someplace safe. Go to my apartment if you have to. I'll take care of this."

Thankfully he doesn't argue with my plans and runs out of the alleyway. Jeff's eyes follow him until Z goes out of sight, Jeff then turns all his attention on me for letting his victim go.

"Why do you care about the twerp anyways? He can't even fight for himself" He asks in an arrogant and condescending tone.

It irks me to no end how little he cares about the world around him. Z would've been happy as a kid on summer vacation if Jeff left for good if not for their mother. Z's a good kid and he definitely doesn't deserve to be treated like shit and having no one stand up for him.

I decide to say none of that and just respond in as cold and as serious a voice I can mutter, "Shut up."

With that, the two of us start fighting it out. Fortunately for me, Jeff is about the same age and build as me, meaning I could likely figure out how he's going to fight and vice versa. Trading punches and blows don't do much for either of us since we both keep dodging them. I let my guard down a little once I twist his arms to his back with a tight grip and keep him trapped against a wall.

Big mistake, since he immediately turns it against me. He skillfully maneuvers out of my grip, forcing a switch in positions. He throws me out of the alleyway and against my own car forcefully, smashing my head onto the car window as he throws punch after punch towards my head, my gut and my face. I try to focus despite the throbbing ache in my head and the mind-numbing buzzing sound in my ears. I can't drop my guard now, this guy is way stronger than I first guessed, and to think that he's been constantly beating on Z like this reignites my rage and determination.

I force him back into the alleyway, giving him the same treatment he gave me. He tries to block and shield my attacks but as soon as I force him onto the ground, this fight has selected its victor. I keep going at him, mindlessly letting my rage turn into the force I exert with every attack. Eventually I run out of steam and I stop, my knuckles now bloody and heavily bruised from all the fighting. But that pales in compassion to what I have done to Jeff, he lies on the ground, limp and motionless. He's not dead, I didn't do enough damage to do that but he would need to go to the hospital to recover from that. I'm pretty sure I'm not looking as pretty either with the cuts and blood, but hopefully that teaches that fucker a lesson.

I stand up and slowly make my way to the car, limping as the pain finally hits me in full force. I grunt as I struggle to get into the car and start the engine I don't want to go find Z now and check up on him, I wanna go home and sleep the pain off. So I send Z a message, telling him where Jeff is and that he shouldn't be a problem anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, the relationships between the boys and the people in their lives aren't really as stable as they want it to be. But that's what makes them who they are. Kyle isn't happy about his family pushing him, Kenny is trying to heal the scars from his lost child and Stan still wants to make the people in his life happy no matter what he has to do. Next time, we actually go see Charlie and the trial on her family's abuse.
> 
> Holy shit, this took so much longer than I planned. Don't worry, I'm not dead and I'm not abandoning this story. Life has just been busy and my family isn't exactly thrilled about me sitting in front of a computer screen for hours on end so I've been doing other stuff aside from writing. I apologize, Loves, for I have sinned XD
> 
> The parts that took the longest time were the fight scene and Kenny's part. Kenny's part was added and changed last minute after talking to my friend about Mockingbird by Eminem. I can imagine Kenny and Bebe ending up like that so I had to rewrite it. If you haven't listened to it, go listen to it. It's so good.  
> Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9bCLPwzSC0
> 
> Thank you all so much, we're almost at 800 views! Thank you all for those who stick around and review.
> 
> Anyways, as always feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS. Please let me know what you think, reviews and comments make my day.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	34. I Can Hear Your Voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle is constantly thrown into problems regarding himself or his friends without any clues or answers, meanwhile Charlie’s family is set for trial but her family has now become the least of her worries.

**Kyle's POV**

"Good morning, Kyle." I hear Karen greet me as I walk down the stairs, she's sitting on the couch with my mother and Ike.

The years have been kind to sweet Karen, her beige brown hair has grown out to shoulder length and with proper plumbing and food, she looks very healthy now. She's slightly taller than girls her age, making her and Ike's height difference a little more obvious.

"Hey Karen, when did you come over?" I smile as I greet my brother's girlfriend.

"A little while ago" She replies before getting cut off by a phone call. She exits the room to talk to Kenny who decided to call her.

I'm surprised since he texted me before saying that he was planning meet Bebe again after Charlie convinced him to at least hear her out. I've been on Kenny's side on that argument but I can't deny that he should listen to her apology, since Kenny was miserable after he found out about the abortion.

Karen soon comes back into the room and hands me the phone, saying that Kenny wants to talk to me. After some expected shouting from keeping Ike and Karen's relationship a secret from him, we say our goodbyes and hang out.

"Kenny said he had to go, he's arranged a meeting with Bebe." I explain as I hand Karen her phone.

"He's going to see that blonde slut again?"

"Charlie convinced him to at least hear her out, I think she's right. Kenny needs closure from this."

"Right, Charlie's the transgender girl he's dating." She sighs blankly. "He gave me crap for not telling him about dating Ike but I'm kept in the dark about his life too. I wish he'd tell me things."

"You know he means well, he doesn't want you to worry."

"Like I don't know my own brother, still doesn't make him any less of a hypocrite."

I leave for Denver immediately after brunch. It was nice to spend some time with my family and Karen but with what happened last night, I don't really want to be around my mom for a while. As I enter the outskirts of Denver, I start mentally preparing myself for the questions about Karen's life I know Kenny will ask about.

I've watched Karen grow up the same way Kenny has with Ike after Stan moved away and they've been welcomed into our homes many times, usually when their parents are drunk and/or high off their asses again. Those… weren't good times for them, I'm glad Karen has a place of her own now. She looks so much happier now that she and Kenny have moved out of their awful home, part of me thinks it's because of Ike who's sharing the same expression throughout brunch. I just hope Ike doesn't 'visit' too often.

Like seeing love like theirs, and Butters and Charlotte's that keep me wishing I could find love like that too. Would I find it with Stan?

I turn off the engine of my car after I park outside our house and my head jerks upwards at the sudden realization. My little brother might actually get laid before I even get my first boyfriend… Wow Kyle Broflovski, you are pathetic.

I groan at the realization. Thankfully no one's come out and noticed my humiliation, I can wallow in my self-misery at peace. After what feels like a millennia, I take my bags into the house, completely disregarding anyone who might be home right now as I slam the front door shut.

Turns out someone is home. Tweek shows up, looking a little relieved as he spots me. "Oh thank god, I think someone broke in."

"Hey Tweek, is it just you here?" I ask as I drop my bags at the front door.

"Yeah, Kenny will be soon but I don't know what about Stan." I wince at little as Tweek says his name. I don't really know how I should act around Stan after what he said before I left.

"I don't care when he comes back." I cross my arms, trying to not to show how tense I feel

Tweek seems to notice but not care, "Kyle, are you free today?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I want to go talk to that jerk that threaten me before."

Well that caught me off guard. "Jake? What the heck would you talk to that fucking douche?!"

"Look, I wanna ask Sue out but ever since that day you and Sue saved me. I've been thinking about he might do if I even try to make a move. I want to see if we can talk it out." Tweek explains calmly, leaving me to gawk a little at his naivety.

"You know the answer. What if it's as predictable as we expect it to be?" I decide to ask him straightforwardly. If he wants to go through with this I need to make sure he knows what he's doing.

"If he really wants a fight, I'd be happy to show him how deceiving I can be." He responds with a hint of smug confidence in his tone. I'll be honest, I rarely ever see this side of Tweek and I'm happy to encourage his confidence, I just hope it's the right move.

Just then, the door opens and the voice of the other blond in our group chimes throughout the living room, "Hey boys, what'cha talking about?"

"Tweek here wants to find the son of a bitch that sent those guys after us and have a little heart-to-heart with him." I recount in a sarcastically monotone voice.

Kenny's eyes widen in disbelief as he turns to Tweek, "You're kidding, right?"

"To save your breath and questions; yes, he knows it's probably futile to end it peacefully and if push comes to shove, Tweek's ready to kick some ass." I once again answer for Tweek with a little pride at the end. Regardless of how this'll turn out, I'm proud of Tweek for taking action.

"Alright then." Kenny smiles proudly as he pats Tweek on the back, "You got guts, Tweekers. That girl must really be worth fighting for."

"You'd do the same if it was Charlie." He said.

Kenny nods, "True that. So where are we gonna go to find the douche?"

"Jake works with Sue at BC Live, so my best guess is the Communications building."

With that, we all hop into my car and begin driving to campus. The silence doesn't last long after Kenny notices a missing fourth member in our group and he speaks up about it. "Hey Kyle, you know where Stan went?"

"No, I just got back a while ago." I reply flatly, "Why should I know where that blockhead went?"

"Are you still mad at him for kissing you?" Tweek asks.

"I'm not mad, just frustrated." I groan, I really wish I could've avoided this entire conversation. "I can't piece together why'd just kiss me like that."

"… Because he likes you?" Kenny answers like he's stating the most obvious thing in the world.

"Yeah, no shit. I got that part. But having feelings for someone is one thing, _why_ did he just kiss me? What did he think was gonna happen? That I'd kiss back and fall hopelessly in love with him?" I roll my eyes as I say cynically, "Yeah right, if the world was that simple, it'd be a fucking Disney flick."

"No, it's because he's Stan." Kenny corrects me. "He's always been a pretty straightforward guy. He doesn't really think things through before taking the dive." Both a curse and a blessing, in my opinion.

Thankfully we arrive at the Communications building and they drop the topic, Tweek takes us through the building. He walks around it like he'd even know where any crack on the wall is, I guess Sue's been making him deliver here a lot, not that he's complaining.

We soon find Jake in the Green room, with two other guys that I recognize as the two bastards that threatened us a while I go, the ones I kicked their asses. "The fuck? What's that nutjob doing here?" One of them jumps up and snarls at us.

"Call your lapdogs off, Winters." I step in, "We're not here for a fight, Tweek just wants to talk."

Jake stands up with a cunning smile and start talking in an eloquent way I never expected from him, "Quite the crowd for someone who just wants to talk. Plus, I expect a little more courtesy towards my friends."

Kenny follows my lead and defends Tweek, "Cut the shit, you-"

"It's fine, guys." Tweek cuts us off before stepping forward to talk to Jake, "Fine, we'll step forward and let's just talk. Just the two of us."

"Ok then." Jake follows suit with a cocky aura around him, "So what do you want? After all I did, you'd be the last person I thought I'd see today."

"Believe me, the feeling's mutual." Tweek replies with a bitter undertone, "I want you to stop forcing Sue to date you."

"You know just as well as I do. You can't force Sue Andrews to do anything against her own will, either she submits or you move on." Jake shrugs, "I don't really feel like quitting on her now."

"I don't get it. From what I've seen, you don't even like Sue that much and you've got girls throwing themselves onto you. Why latch onto her?"

"I'll be honest with you. I'm a pretty greedy man, I want everything you can think of, money and women, power and sex, status and glory. I demand the finer things in life and of course, I crave what I can't have." He answers with a smirk, "I don't know if she ever told you, but she had this huge crush on me 2 years ago. She acted like a little school girl that found out what love was, but she wasn't good enough so I turned her down. Now she's a complete beauty with the authority to boot, she's perfect. I've got a head-start, all I need to do is rekindle those feelings and she'll be mine." He says in a confident manner that makes my skin crawl and my blood boil, if I was in Tweek's position I woulda already decked the guy.

"If you're so sure you've got it in the bag, why send threats towards Tweek?" Kenny suddenly challenges him.

"Kenny, please. I got this." Tweek said before turning to Jake and demands, "I _do_ want to know that, so answer the question, Jake."

"Like I said before, rumors going around that you're looking to go after my poppet and there's nothing I hate more than losing, especially to a nervous wreck like you."

"So this is just a game to you?" Tweek makes a face of disgust, "You're sick."

"If it's a game you want, I'll gladly comply." Jake once again changes into a calm cunning demeanor, "How about this, we play a little game between us? Whoever gets Sue will have to stay out of the picture, no more confrontations, no more threats."

"How'd we know you'd keep your end of the deal anyways?" Tweek asks warningly, shocking both me and Kenny.

"You're not seriously considering this?" I ask him softly as I pull him aside.

"I may be greedy but I'm a man of my word. After all, I never did anything to you after I promised that to her." Jake reassures us. I can't deny that but damn do I wanna punch that smug ass grin off his face.

"Look guys, I know he's been bugging the crap outta Sue and this could be the solution." Tweek whispers hopefully, I could see why he's considering this.

"What's Sue gonna think if she finds out you did this?" Kenny retorts with a serious look on his face

"I'm sure she'll understand. I'm doing this for her." Tweek stays silent for a moment before answering softly, more to himself than to Kenny I think, as he looks Jake in the eyes and shakes his hand, "OK, Jake. You've got a deal."

* * *

After our meeting with Jake, we leave to get some dinner before going home. All throughout the dinner, Kenny and Tweek have been arguing. Tweek believes he's made the best choice there but Kenny's saying he's making the wrong call. I don't know, I feel bad for brushing off Tweek like that but I have enough on my plate right now. I still don't know what I'm gonna say to Stan when we get home. I don't even know if I should talk to him.

"Hey Kyle, Stan should be in his room. Why don't go you knock on his door and get him to eat dinner?" Kenny makes the decision for me as he goes down into his room. "Remember Kyle, it's three knocks." He turns to me and wink before walking down the stairs in a fit of laughter.

I roll my eyes for probably the twentieth time as I walk the stairs to Stan's door, Kenny's words start ringing in my head again as I raise my hand to knock on the wooden barrier. Instead I decide to just call for him, "Stan?"

No response.

"Stan, open the door." I try again.

Still, no response.

I begin to grow impatient and just keep slamming my fist onto the door. After what feels like an hour, I finally hear the door unlock and Stan's face appears through the door, looking exhausted and disheveled. "So… three means you accept my confession, so what does trying to smash through my door mean?" He whines.

I reel in the shock of seeing Stan like this, he's black and blue all over and I see a few patches of dried blood on his face and clothes, "Holy shit, Stan are you bleeding?!"

"Huh?" He seems to waken up a little more to register what I said and notices the blood on his clothes. "Oh it's dried up by now."

Hearing him mention it so nonchalantly just escalates my distress, "What the fuck happened?"

"Got into a little fight. I was on my way back when I saw Z and his stepbrother. He was about to beat Z up before I stepped in." He just shrugs it off again like it's nothing! Damn it, why am I acting more anxious about it than he is?

"Jesus dude. We need to get you cleaned up." I take a good look at him now to take note of what I need, nothing looks broken so hopefully all I'll need is a first kid kit. "There should be some supplies in my room, go wait in the bathroom." I instruct him as I head to my room.

Luckily for him, all medical students are required to know basic first aid so I have a ton of bandages and disinfection for practice. I take my supply box from under my bed and head to his room where Stan is sitting on the edge of the bathtub.

He already has his shirt off and it would take a lot of effort not to pay attention to that fact if it weren't for the other wounds. A bruised rib, cuts on his upper arm and back probably from glass by the looks of it.

Just how bad was that fight?

"Damn, looks like you got the short end of the stick." I mutter as I pour some disinfection onto a gauze dressing, "Look at all these bruises."

He hisses a little as the gauze cleans the wound but he recovers quickly and smirks with a cocky tone, "Psh, you shoulda seen the stepbrother then. I bet even his own mom would've a hard time recognizing him."

"Stan, why did you even throw yourself into that fight anyway?" I sigh as I move onto the wounds on his back, "You should've just called the police and let them handle it."

"Kyle, when have the police helped us with anything?"

"Your point of references is officer Barbrady from when we were kids." I state matter-of-factly as I bandage up the cuts on his arms. "We're not in South Park anymore. The adults can help us."

"Don't you get it, Kyle? Everyone just talks down to us like we don't know what we're talking about, I mentioned to you guys about Shelly and how she beat me up, what did you do? You guys called me a pussy for not fighting back. When I told you about Z and how much his stepbrother hurts him, what did you do? Nothing, I bet you don't even remember that I said that."

Ouch… As much as it hurts, he's right. I remember Stan telling me about the shit Shelly did to him since we were seven. I was a dumb kid and I didn't know how to react to that, if I could go back and change one thing, I would've taken him more seriously and helped him.

But that's the past, I can't let it cloud my judgement. "Even so, you can't just dive headfirst into-"

He grabs my hand, startling me and cutting me off from what I wanted to say, "Kyle, you know what it's like to feel alone and left behind. Z needed my help. He was alone, and scared. He needed someone to help him, I guess I saw a part of myself and I wanted to do everything I could to stop Z from going down my path and dealing with everything I have to now. The last thing I want is for anyone to end up like me, a cynical alcoholic who seeing nothing but shit in the world, someone who's so fucking useless to the people around him. I can't stop and watch when I can obviously do something about it. " He confesses as he looks at me with sad blank eyes.

Seeing him like his makes my chest ache, I can't stay mad at him for that, "I'm sure Z is grateful." I reassure him before telling him in a soft but stern tone, "Just remember you're human too, so don't push yourself too hard. Z wouldn't want you getting hurt for him."

None of us say a word after that, allowing me to focus on patching Stan up and think about what Stan had said. I never realized how strong his connection is to this Z kid, I don't know much about this kid but all I know is that he sometimes drinks with Stan and that he's got family issues to deal with but yet Stan has willingly thrown himself into the line of fire to protect him. That does sound like Stan, doing everything he can to help the ones he cares about. The scar on my abdomen is all the proof I need for that fact.

What bothers me is that he called himself useless, he doesn't truly think that of himself, right?

I bandage up the last of his wounds and let out a breath of relief, "Done, it's a good thing none of them are too deep or serious otherwise we'd have to take you to a hospital."

"Thank god for that then." Stan smiles as he gets up and moves his aching shoulders.

"Oh yeah, there's some food downstairs for you if you've haven't had dinner yet." I tell him as I pack up my supplies and walk out of his bathroom.

"Thanks dude, I'm starving." He replies as he puts on a clean shirt on.

We part ways as I enter my room. I think back to the thought I had as I trace the scar on my side, the scar from my kidney transplant. Stan does think the world of me; I'm important to him. That's why he'd trick Cartman into giving me his kidney, I obviously mean a lot to him and I know he means a lot to me too. I've been thinking about Stan's love confession to me and yet I never come up with any answer, because I've been running away from the biggest question of all. It's not _whether it's fair_ or _how good of a boyfriend I can be_ , it's _whether or not I share his feelings_ and _whether being together would make the two of us happy_.

So that's the only question on my mind now, would it make Stan happy? … Kyle you fucking idiot, of course having your crush love you back would make you happy.

Then, what are my feelings towards Stan? Well, I know I like him well enough as a friend and he means a lot to me. I felt so lost when I realized Stan wasn't coming back to South Park, it was soul crushing to be around places like Stark's pond without him. I've haven't felt more at ease after Stan re-entered my life again. I don't really know what that means, all I know is that I don't want to be away from him again. I don't want to lose him again.

Now the big question, would being with Stan make me happy?...

* * *

Today is an important day for all of us, but especially for Charlie. It's been about a month since her family was arrested and today we're all going to court to testify and watch the judge deem those sick bastards guilty. We arrive at the courthouse on time, meeting up with Dr. Nixon and their attorney, Mr. Hughes.

Kenny is holding Charlie close, who's practically shaking with nerves right now, "I almost can't believe this is happening. If everything goes right, I'll finally be free from them."

"Don't worry about it, princess." Kenny comforts her with a kiss on her temple, "The evidence on our side is overwhelming, they won't win this time."

Dr. Nixon approaches me after talking to the officer, "Hello Kyle, I haven't really talked to you since that day we met outside the hospital."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I was just mad then." I scratch the back of my neck in embarrassment at our last interaction.

"Trust me, I'd be way angrier than you were." She chuckles at my flushed face, causing me to laugh a little too. She calms down a little before continuing, "I heard from Charlie that you're studying psychiatry too."

"Yeah, I'm looking to start my medical degree by next fall."

"Well, I'd be happy to help you out, you can come to me with any questions you have and I can teach you some stuff you'd need to know on the job." She offers, "Think of it as an unofficial apprenticeship."

I feel my eyes widen in excitement and disbelief, "Are you serious? That'd be awesome."

"You're a good kid, Kyle. I'd be happy to help." She smiles before tensing up slightly, "Speaking of Charlie, Kyle, did anything happen during that trip to Hawaii? Charlie hasn't really been lively ever since then."

Hearing that Charlie might not be well makes my excitement drop too. I've noticed some signs but nothing that happened there should cause a depression though, all I can really think about is that stupid argument Charlie had with Wendy and Butter's episode, "No, but I've noticed it too. I can't tell for sure though."

Our conversation gets cut short as everyone is asked to enter the courtroom. "Alright, let's go and close this case for good."

Everyone is seated accordingly with us sitting behind Mr. Hughes and the defense attorney, Mr. Solf, on the other side. According to Hughes, Solf is a pretty ruthless attorney and a difficult adversary. Thankfully, his words shouldn't even compete with the evidences on our side.

"The court is now in session to trial the case of Isaac Baxton, also known as Charlotte, versus the accused: Scott, James, and Daniel Baxton. The three stand accused in case C-137 with at least three counts of child abuse violations. The three defendants are the father, uncle and brother of the victims respectively who have been allegedly abusing the victim for almost a year before she escaped from her home."

The trial is going as smoothly as I hope it would, the pictures they've taken of Charlie's body and scars are more than enough to make our guts churn. Kenny had to look away to stop himself from tearing as he holds her closer, it looks like that's enough to shock the judge and jury. But what confuses me is that Mr. Solf doesn't seem to be doing much about it, not even any damage control. What's he playing here?

"The prosecution would like to call the victim to the stand." With that, Charlie walks up to the stand, a little shaken but I can tell she's putting up a strong face.

"Please give us your recount of the alleged abuse. How did it start?" Mr. Hughes asks.

Charlie takes in a deep breath before starting, "I found out that I like wearing girl's clothes so I started wearing them in secret, usually whenever I was stressed or unhappy. With that simple change, Isaac became Isabelle and soon I found myself happier as Isabelle. I was more confident and I became reluctant at times to go back as Isaac. It began to feel like a chore, like I was putting on a mask for the world. But one day, Danny came into my room and ripped that mask right off me. They found the makeup and dresses and they've been abusing me since. They believed that I wasn't in my mind so they isolated me from my friends, keeping me under close watch; and they've hit me to try to correct me." She chokes on a sob before recomposing herself, "Those scars in the picture were from what's left from those 5 months I spent with them before I escaped them the second time. I wouldn't even be alive right now if it weren't for my friends." She finishes with a small smile.

"Could you state the ways they've physically abused you?"

"They kept me locked in the basement, usually one of them would come in and beat me until I was black and blue. They've used weapons like belts, knives and bats."

"The prosecution has no more questions, your honor." Mr. Hughes concludes as he sits back down.

"Very well, the defense may begin his cross examination." The judge declares and Mr. Solf stands up with a smirk on his face. I don't like it, it's like the one Jake had when we confronted him last week.

"Victim, please state your name once again, to the court." Mr. Solf asks in a calm but slightly sinister tone.

Charlie narrows her eyes but complies, "My name is Charlot-"

"Your _legal_ name, please." He cuts her off to specify.

I feel my rage burning after I realize what he's doing, I can see Kenny's eyes turn darker as he makes the same realization. "Isaac. Isaac Lorne Baxton." She answers flatly with her jaw clenched, looking like its taking every ounce of her strength to say each syllable.

"Isaac, let me ask you. Do you resent your family?" He continues prodding, insisting on using her old name.

"For hurting me and constantly forcing their ways onto my life?" She responds sarcastically, "Yeah, I think I have the right to be a little angry with them."

"Then why didn't this happen sooner?"

"Excuse me?"

"You had the evident and reasoning by your side, yet for the past 5 months you didn't do anything to our client until recently. You could've pressed charges after you escaped the first time."

Mr. Hughes immediately steps in to stop his relentless questioning, "I object, your honor. This has nothing to do with the case."

"Your honor, I'm trying to prove a point." Mr. Solf explains himself, "Regardless of the case, the victim is only a teenager. Teenagers are easily swayed and influenced. My clients, although they used the wrong method, do have their child's best interest at heart. The victim may just be an overzealous teenager, he may not know what he wants and my client only wishes not to let his child's future be dictated by a rash decision he made when he was 16."

Goddammit, I can't stand to hear the bullshit he's spitting out right now. He's not trying to clear her family's name, he's trying to make it sound like it's her fault. "The prosecution should not use the age of the victim to dismiss her trauma and emotions." Hughes said as he stands his ground.

The judge takes our side as he declares, "Objection approved, the defense may not use the victim's age to sway the jury."

Mr. Solf is visually displeased but he complies and said, "Very well, I would like to call one of the defendant to the stand."

The man he calls is Charlie's dad, the one responsible for all the scars on her body. The one who made her cry herself to sleep. He shares a lot of physical traits with her, mainly her black hair but unlikely Charlie's sweet chocolate eyes, his eyes were icy blue. Cold and soulless as he looks towards us. I notice Kenny's fist turn white from clenching them so hard, watching him take those strides to that stand is probably making him wish it's Mysterion here instead, right now beating the shit outta him for what that bastard did to his 'princess'.

"Defendant, state your name and your relations to the victim to the court." Mr. Solf walks up to him and requests.

"I am Scott Baxton, I'm the father of the victim." He answers in a low, authoritative voice.

"Could you give us your side of the case?"

"When Danny showed me the dress Isaac was hiding in his room, I couldn't comprehend it. My own son was wearing women's clothing." He grimaces in disgust, "I figured he was confused so I stepped in to try and rectify it. While I will admit that my methods are more aggressive compared to others, I did it to protect my boys."

"So you were doing it to protect your child?" Mr. Solf continues asking.

It makes me sick to witness what's happening now, it's just they're acting on a script they've created themselves. Watching Scott try to gain any form of sympathy is revolting, especially with what he's saying. He's making himself into some misunderstood guardian, well tough-fucking-shit, parents who care for their kids wouldn't even think about giving them scars.

"It might not seem like it, but Isaac can be a pretty stubborn kid. He was so convinced that he should be a girl that talking wouldn't snap him out of it. I wouldn't care if it was another kid on the street but he's my boy."

Mr. Solf gives a conniving smile as he faces the judge, "I have no more questions, your honor."

This prompts Mr. Hughes to take his turn for questioning, "Defendant, let me ask you. Do you truly believed that abusing your child like that would've helped him?"

"If I did nothing, he'd continue to let himself get brainwashed into believing that this is OK." Scott answers so sincerely that I seriously wonder if that was what he really believed.

"Why wouldn't it be OK? Your child only wishes for you to accept her for who she really is."

"Ha, let me ask you this then." Scott turns to ask him, "If your kid one day came to you saying they got addicted to Heroin and asked you for some money to continue buying more, would you let them?"

"Comparing your transgender child to a Heroin addict is hardly reasonable." Mr. Hughes responds flatly and methodically, emphasizing how ridiculous it sounds.

"But it's part of who they are, shouldn't they be accepted for it?"

"One of them is illegal and one of them is nothing more than someone being themselves, you cannot make that assumption." Mr Hughes ends it with his arms crossed, he turns to the judge and jury and announces, "I would like to call one of our witnesses."

"Witness, please state your name and relation to the victim."

"My name is Kyle Broflovski and Charlotte is one of my closest friends." I state.

"How do you know the victim?"

"We met on the top of an apartment building on November 10th, she was about to commit suicide after feeling abandoned by her friends and family. I managed to talk her out of it and she was sent to the hospital."

"Do you know about the abuse she suffered from the three accused?"

"Yes, during Charlotte's time at the hospital we talked a lot and she shared parts of her life with me. I even saw Danny rush into her room to beat her up before security dragged him out." I feel my face drop at the memory, I wish I could've done more then, "When I found out that her family took her away from the hospital, I freaked out; and I was so happy when she showed up alive."

After Mr Hughes has finished his questions, I internally brace myself for whatever Mr. Solf has planned. This guy is willing to turn an obvious case of abuse into misunderstood love and I will not give him the satisfication of twisting my words to his favor.

He walks up to the stand with that slimy look in his eye, makes me wanna puke, "Witness, may I ask why you didn't call the police when the victim first appeared at your doorstep?"

"She didn't want to deal with people after she just escaped, and she wanted to move on with her life and put all of it behind her." I answer without hesitation or a single glance at him.

"So you believed letting the victim stay in a house full of men was a good idea?"

"I'm disgusted that you'd even think we'd hurt her after what she's been through." I spit angrily "No, of course not. She's our friend."

"What about your friend, Kenny McCormick?" He asks.

I was taken back a little by his question before careful answering, "What about Kenny? He loves her, he wouldn't ever hurt her."

He scoffs at me before turning to the jury, "The victim has stated that she has lived with the witnesses for a while before moving in with her aunt, and they have stayed close friends since." He pauses and smirks, "But can you say that she's happier now?"

I basically jump up from my seat and yell, "What are you, stupid? Of course she is."

"We'll see about that. Your honor, I would like to ask another witness to join the stand." He says as Dr. Nixon is summoned to the stands, "Witness, state your name, your profession and your relation to the victim."

"My name is Francisca Riza Nixon, I'm a psychiatrist working in a hospital in Boulder. Charlotte is my niece."

"According to Mr. Broflovski, the victim is supposed better now since the escape but the psychoanalysis reports say otherwise." He says as he hands over two document folders to the clerk, who passes it to the judge, "Your honor, these two documents are the psychiatric reports for the victim from two various timeframes. The first one is from the day the victim was admitted to the hospital, November 10th; the second one is from two weeks ago." He explains, "The reports clearly indicate that the victim has shown a strong spike of anxiety and depression after living with Dr. Nixon; if the victim is as happy as the witness is claiming, shouldn't the levels of depression drop rather than increase?"

My jaw drops as I hear what he's saying. That can't be true, he's making that up! Is he saying that Charlie's been more depressed now than she has been with her family?

"That's not fair!" Charlie stands up and objects, tears forming around her eyes and spilling down her cheeks, "You can't say I'm not happier because of some fucking report!"

"Order!" The judge's voice echoes the courtroom along with the sound of his mallet.

Kenny grabs her hand, getting her attention. "Princess, calm down." He says in a calming manner that stop Charlie's outburst as she slumps back down onto her seat.

"It's not fair Kenny." I hear her mutter into Kenny's embrace, "What does it matter to them if I've fucking happy or not? They hurt me, they've scarred me. That should be more than enough of a reason."

The rest of the trial goes by like a blur, not that any of us are paying attention after Charlie's outburst. Kenny has been doing nothing but rubbing her shoulders comfortingly and peppering her forehead with light, loving kisses. It hurts to see her like this. I turn to look at Stan and Sue, who look just as confused and helpless as me. We focus again on the trial as both sides finish their closing statements.

"With the sufficient amount of evidence and testimonies from the prosecution, the court finds the three defendants guilty on all charges. The three will be held under custody and sentenced to 10 years of incarceration, a hefty fine will be charged to cover the victim's fees and medical bills. This court is adjourned."

We watch as Charlie's family gets led away by the guards, Charlie cries in relief and we all give her a hug to show support. The trial is over. They're gonna be locked behind bars where they can't hurt her anymore. But something tells me this isn't the end to her nightmare yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit, I really bit off more than I can chew for this chapter. The trial case took forever since there weren't really a lot of references online to go off on and it turned a lot longer than I planned for it to be. Don't worry though, just because her family's in jail doesn't mean Charlie's story is over. Next time, we get Kyle's answer to Stan's confession.
> 
> OK, first of all. I didn't mean to take this long to post this chapter. Most of it came down to a small case of writer's block and real life getting in the way. I do a lot of research to hopefully get as much facts right as possible so hopefully you guys understand that. I also do research for subtle hints and sometimes I just love putting in little Easter eggs and references from other media sources that I love, usually as titles of the chapters or names c:
> 
> Also I realize that the time frame for this chapter can be pretty weird so let me explain, Kyle's visit to South Park happened the day before Kenny's meeting with Bebe, this scene with Kyle, Kenny and Tweek happens doing the same day as Kenny's meeting. Stan is visiting his mom during then so that's why he wasn't at the house until they arrived back and Kyle found him injured from the fight. The trial scene happens a week after that.
> 
> There isn't really much to say this time other than thank you all for being so patient. My schedule may be a little haywire but hopefully I can work things out soon.
> 
> Anyways, as always feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS. Please let me know what you think, reviews and comments make my day.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	35. I Won't Say I'm In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle starts to notice something that’s wrong with Charlie and finally has his answer for Stan’s confession.

**Kyle's POV**

"Where is she?" I ask myself as I stare at the clock on my phone. Sue has planned a day at the mall for all of us, mainly arcade games and fast food. All a teenager's vacation plan come true. We're waiting outside the mall for Charlie who hasn't arrived yet.

"Maybe you should call her again." Stan suggests.

I start clicking into Contacts before Kenny stops me, "There she is." He says as Charlie steps out from Dr. Nixon's car and walks towards us.

At first, I couldn't even recognize her. She's wearing a sweet looking white dress with dark blue floral print on it, along with black leggings that reach to her calves. Her black hair has been slightly styled to a wavier look and she's carrying a small handbag.

I'll admit, she looks a lot different from the tomboy look with sneakers and hoodies I'm used to from her.

"Charlie, nice new look." Sue greets her as she compliments Charlie's outfit, "I like the colors."

"Thanks, since it's a celebration, I thought: Why not dress up around it?" Charlie smiles as she shrugs, then swirls around in front of Kenny, "What do you think, Kenny?" She simpers.

"You look gorgeous, princess." Kenny smiles adoringly at her before going back to his playful cocky attitude as he worms his arm around her waist. "I don't know how I'm gonna keep my hand off of ya."

"I'm glad you're OK, Charlie." I say. I wasn't sure if she'd be up for an arcade day today but she seemed a lot better when she did after leaving the courthouse.

"Yeah, sorry I couldn't do this yesterday." She replies as she 'tries' to squirm away from Kenny's wandering hands, "I was a little overwhelmed." Poor girl, Kenny's not gonna let her go until she has at least 3 marks on her neck.

Thankfully Sue manages to pull Charlie away and into a headlock, "Girl, this ain't the time for apologies. This is your freedom party, you're the star. Own it!" She shouts with her free arm pumped into the sky, before calming down and saying, "Sorry, I just went full white party girl there."

We all burst out laughing at Sue's remark as we go into the food court and Man, it's packed with crying kids, antsy nerds arguing about the Wonder Woman trailer and couples on their sappy dates. We decide to split up; Sue and Tweek go to get smoothies for everyone while Kenny and Stan order our food. Charlie and I have to find a table for the six of us, luckily there's one near the exit and away from the play area where some snot-nosed kid would probably come over and knock over our fries.

"So what's gonna happen now?" I ask Charlie once we sit down.

She leans back onto the chair with a thoughtful look, "Well now I legally have the rights as an adult and I can live with Aunt Francine in peace. Not to mention I'm changing my fucking name." She scowls, "Isaac Baxton died that night on the rooftop so Charlie Baxton could live."

"That lawyer was such a dick. I can't believe he pulled that card."

"Forget about that asshole, princess." Kenny appears and hugs her from behind, "You don't have to ever see those people again if you don't want to."

"Yeah, yeah." She rolls her chocolate brown eyes as Kenny sits next to her, she simpers as she gives him a small kiss. "Thanks, Kenny."

Kenny has a smile brighter than the sun as the two feed each other fries in that sickeningly-cutesy manner that you'd see in most sitcoms. I turn away as they start to use their mouths to do it, part out of the embarrassment that they're doing this in public, and part because I kinda wish I was doing it myself, maybe with Stan.

Wait, what?

"You OK, Kyle?" Stan's voice turns me back to reality. I realize that while I was in my head, my head turned to face Stan and it looks like I was staring at him dazedly. The thought of us inching closer with a French fry between our lips flash again and I turn away, trying to calm my crazy heartbeat as I come up with an excuse.

"I'm worried about Charlie." I spit out.

"What do you mean?" Stan raises an eyebrow as he steals a glance over towards her, "If it's about Charlie's new look, maybe she just wants to be more feminine for Kenny?"

"What Mr. Solf said about her psychiatric reports, Charlie's more depressed now than when she was about to commit suicide. But look at her," I look over to see her and Kenny laughing as they act even flirtier than before, "does she look like that depressed?" I ask as I look back at Stan.

"That bastard's probably making shit up, he's been bullshitting throughout the entire trial."

"I don't think he was lying about that though. Even Dr. Nixon told me that she noticed her mood change." I respond as I feel my phone vibrate. Like the devil, I see that Dr. Nixon sends me a text.

_Kyle, I need to talk to you, it's about Charlie. Please come by my office tomorrow after your classes ended._

Well, I guess that's my plan for tomorrow. I put my phone away into my pocket before pulling Stan towards a fighting game machine. I'll worry about all that crap later, right now I'm gonna play video games with my best friend and I'm gonna whoop his ass (in a totally non-sexual way, shut up).

Just as planned, I jump onto a bus after class and head towards the hospital. I keep thinking about everything that's been happening. Charlie clearly isn't as OK as she keep letting on, otherwise Dr. Nixon wouldn't have called me to talk about it. I try to go but the receptionist blocks me from going any further, she isn't in her office right now and I can't go in there because of the tools.

After half an hour of working on assignments on my laptop, Dr. Nixon appears looking a little tired as she treks grudgingly into the waiting area. "Hello, Dr. Nixon." I greet as I put away my laptop.

She has black circles around her eyes and her hair lazily tied up, Kenny told me that Charlie makes coffee for her often but she looks like she hadn't had a good night's sleep in months. "Kyle, sorry it's been a little busy and I had to do my rounds." She smiles tiredly, trying to upkeep her professionalism.

"It's Ok, you said you had something you wanted to talk about regarding Charlie." I remind her as we walk into her office.

"Yes, I believed I found the cause of her depression." She informs me as she sits down at her desk, "Have you heard of gender dysmorphia?"

I sit down on the chair across the table as I take in what Dr. Nixon said. Gender dysmorphia? I read about it, it's when someone thinks that their bodies don't represent their real gender properly. Suddenly my mind makes sense of what she's implying. "Wait you think that-"

"Gender dysmorphia includes the stress and anxiety caused from the strong repulsion of their birth-assigned genders. Charlie's still a teenager and her body's still changing and growing, just not in the way that she envisions it to be. Last weekend, she started dressing a lot more effeminate, she even asked me for high heels. But I get the feeling that it's not the only reason for the sudden severity of her depression."

"Yeah, Charlie was never that insecure about herself." She identified as a girl but she wasn't wearing pink dresses and quoting 'Mean Girls' or anything like that, she was still one of us. I notice that the first time I saw her wear something obviously feminine was yesterday during our outing, I think about the horrible events during the trial, "Do you think that court case did a number on her?"

"Well it definitely didn't help with what that bastard of a lawyer said." She scowls as she drinks the cooled coffee on her desk.

"Does Charlie know about her gender dysmorphia?"

"Yes, but I don't think she understand how much it's affecting her. I do believe she knows why though, she won't say a word about it."

She knows why, but she won't tell? Why?

"Anyways, that's not the only reason I asked you to come here today." Dr. Nixon changes the subject, "I wanted to get started on teaching you some basic bedside manner when it comes to dealing with patients, but first I need to talk to you about something. I've heard from Charlie that you have a kind of dating anxiety."

Goddammit, I wasn't expecting to have this 'talk' and Moses knows I'm not excited about it. "It's not that serious, it's not affecting my ability to lead a normal life or some shit like that." I explain as I turn away like some emo teen, "I just can't really trust myself to date."

"Can you describe what happens with it kicks in?"

"Well… I start shaking a little, then I start to sweat. If I don't calm down, that's when my heart feels like it's beating off-rhythm and my breathes become shorter. I usually calm down or run out of the place before it gets any worse than that."

"When did this start?"

I eye her suspiciously, wondering if calling me here was just a counselling session in disguise. Dr. Nixon gives me a look that just says 'Answer this question' and I comply. "After some bitch at high school played me. I couldn't trust anyone who just leaves nameless confession letters into my locker or guys who throws some sleazy pickup lines around."

"No one said that you should date whoever throws their hearts at you, that'd be reckless." She says as she hands me a glass of water.

"I know, but a part of me is jealous because I can't even do that if I wanted to. I can't just be with someone even if I know there's no strings attached, my anxiety will kick in at the thought of someone touching me like that." I wince at the thought of it. "Besides, I want an actual relationship. Not some stupid fuckbuddies deal."

"Well, you sound quite certain of that. Did you find someone you'd want to be with?"

I choke on the water once Stan's face was the only thing that comes to mind. Goddammit, Stan. I must be flushing like a fucking schoolgirl now. Stop blushing! "I got someone in mind. By the way, does Kenny know about Charlie's condition?" I explain while changing the subject, desperately trying to get rid of the pink covering my face.

Dr. Nixon smiles knowingly at my flushed complexion but follows my lead and answers, "Charlie didn't want me to tell him, she didn't know what he'd think if he found out. As a doctor, I'm not allowed to break the code of conduct. But she was willing to tell you, she wanted you to help her if things got too outta hand."

"She should've told him. Kenny's her boyfriend, he wouldn't look down on her from that."

"I think she's more worried about how he'll react. Kyle, Kenny has been one of her biggest motivators and I think she doesn't want him to worry about her." She sighs as she stirs her coffee, "She really shouldn't though. From what I've seen, Kenny's a sweet boy, a little rough and crude but I can tell he takes his responsibilities seriously he'll be more than willing to help her through it." She smiles before her face drops, "Either way, it's not my call to make."

"I guess." I say softly, thinking about what Dr. Nixon said about Kenny and Charlie. "Do you really think that they'll make it through this together?" I ask.

"I think so." She nods confidently "Love can do some pretty amazing things, I believe their love can get them through."

I sit there quietly as I ponder this. She's right. I've seen it time and time again, Butters and Charlotte, Ike and Karen. We're not perfect, we've all got problems but having someone to help us through it will be worth it. They didn't give up on each other and Stan didn't give up on me, he deserves the same chance.

I do have feelings for Stan, I've come to terms with that. Whether I feel it as strongly as he does or whether or not we'll both be happy with this, I gotta go against my brain and follow my heart on this one.

Time to make a phone call.

* * *

**Stan's POV**

Classes have been hectic now that assignments are almost due, finals are around the corner and I still have to figure out what I'm gonna do for my next song. Even after Hawaii, I haven't had much inspiration to write. Most of the songs I've come up with would've even made Raven cringe on how emo it is. Whatever, I'm just going to get through today and try again.

I enter the Communications building after stopping by Harbucks, only to find Sue close to passing out on the desk next to her laptop. "Hey, Sue. You look like shit."

"Thanks a lot, you dick." She glares, not really as intimidating as it usually is since she's yawning too. "I'm still technically your boss, you know."

"Yeah I know, that's why I got you this." I grin as I put down a warm cup of coffee and with a paper bag, "From your sweet 'boyfriend'."

She rolls her silver eyes but smiles as she shakes her head, "Cute. Thanks though, I need the caffeine." She takes a drink and sighs at the relief of the caffeine pumping through her system "Speaking of boyfriends, where's yours?"

"Are we seriously doing 'the girl with the gay best friend' cliché right now?" I raise my eyebrow.

"First of all, I wouldn't call us 'best friends'." She chuckles, letting me know she's joking, "Besides, I thought you were Bi."

"You know what I mean." I laugh as she starts packing her things up.

"Well, I can't be the only one with a love-life dilemma lately. Jake's been extra annoying, he recently got me some sexy tight dress." She said with a tinge of disgust in her tone. "He didn't even get it in the right size, it's two sizes too small."

"I think he's doing it on purpose."

"Geez, you think." She deadpans, giving me that 'You're a dumbass' look, "I'm giving this dress to Charlie, it'll probably fit her perfectly."

"Well I know Kenny will thank you for it." I chuckle at the thought of Kenny's reaction. Though that dress probably wouldn't last long if that was the case, I just hope Charlie would get to wear it for more than one night before Kenny ruins it.

"Tell him to drop a strawberry shortcake and the strongest cup of dark roast they have on my table and all debts have been paid." She shoves me and laughs with me before her smile falls, "This assignment is killing me and I haven't heard back from any companies yet."

Sue has been trying to get an internship job to help kick start her career but she hasn't heard anything back and it's been getting on her nerves when she thinks about it. Unfortunately for us, that also means she doesn't take mistakes and unexpected mishaps very well.

"You've got one of the best portfolios in the communications sector." I try to encourage her. "I mean, who else can show their work on the student podcast and their management on the college radio station as an example of their work?"

"This could be my last year here and I'm planning to pass the reigns to Katie, she's my best friend, plus my second-in-command. She'll run the show just fine."

"What about Jake?" I didn't know what I said until I hear it. I immediately shut up and turn to look at Sue, hopefully not ready to bite my ear off.

She isn't. Instead she looks sullen as she contemplates it, "Finding a host isn't the problem, finding a good one is. Hopefully we'll find someone before his last term." She turns to me, "Part of me wished I could ask you to take over."

"I don't think I can. With the radio show, my channel and the music career Cartman's helping me with, I don't think I'll have enough time for the podcast."

"Yeah, I figured as much. I'll find someone." She takes a breath and regaining her strong composure, "That's my problem to worry about, you just need to get in that booth and do a good job tonight."

I enter the booth to record my sessions, since finals are coming up we need to pre-record some so that we'd be free to take our time to focus on our exams than what to do for the next session. After 3 hours of recording, I wrap up the last recording session.

"That's the end of my set, I'm Stan Marsh and I wish you all good day and good night."

I take a deep breath and a gulp of water after I say my outro for the 3rd time today. Sue gives me a thumbs up, showing that the recording is good and that I'm done for the day. Man, it's 5 p.m. already? I check my phone for any message. Huh? Kyle called me a few minutes ago. Did he just call me to say something or did he ring three times? I sit there silently contemplating when Kyle calls me again.

_Ring~_

_Ring~_

_Ring~_

Then, it stops. Three. Three rings. That's three. Does that mean? I couldn't even finish that thought before texting him.

 

SM: Rly? U cereal?

KB: Correct your spelling.

KB: Super cereal. You heard the phone ring three times. I'm taking the bus home, I'll be at the stop there in 30 mins.

KB: See you there, you dork (:

 

I feel my face hurt a little from having a smile so big, I clutch the phone and hold it close to my chest. I probably look like a fucking retard but I don't care. I feel like a kid who just got the latest PlayStation for Christmas.

Fuck yes! I did it!

I jump out of the booth, shocking Sue who's looking at me like a madman that just escaped the asylum. But she takes one look at my shit-eating grin and the text on my phone before she mirrors it happily and gives me a high-five. "You earned it, rookie. Go get 'im."

With that, we say goodbye before I bolt out of the room. When I reach the outside of the Communications building, I jump right into my car and start driving to the bus stop. My vision and thought begin to tunnel as all I can think about is what I'm gonna do when I see him.

Maybe I'll hug him and twirl us around a little like that scene from Castle in the Sky. Maybe he'll actually let me kiss him this time.

Just that thought alone makes me press down on the gas even harder, swerving around the traffic the night Kyle and I saved Tweek. I feel like this is all some beautiful dream my lovesick mind concocted and I'm refusing to wake up. I need to see him now.

I manage to find a parking spot near the bus stop and I start running again toward the stop. I look out for a forest green ushanka and I see Kyle sitting there on the other side of the street, looking at his phone, probably listening to some Daft Punk. He's probably waiting for me.

I start waving as I call out to my hopefully-new-boyfriend, "Kyle! Hey Kyl-" My voice gets cut off from a piece of rag covering my mouth and nose with a sharp smell.

I feel someone grabbing my wrists and pulling me away from the road. "No! Kyle!" I try screaming but all that comes out are muffled cries. Suddenly I feel lightheaded. Shit, is that chloroform?! I start struggling, but it's too late. My body doesn't have enough energy to stay awake and fight the choke-hold this person has on me. My eyes slowly glaze back at Kyle, completely oblivious to what's happening. He looks so happy, so excited for me to show up, I thought before passing out.

I'm sorry, Kyle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, a cliffhanger! Yeah, Kyle accepted Stan's confession, was there any doubt? But I am sorry that it took so long to happen, next time we see how Stan deals with his attacker.
> 
> Again, I apologize for not being on schedule with these chapters. Work and real life stuff make it really hard to motivate yourself to spend the night writing. I'll try to keep up and make it on time but don't worry, I won't drop this story c:
> 
> This chapter is shorter so I'll try to get the next one up as soon as I can. Thank you all so much for being so patient, and for helping this story get to over 900 views. c:
> 
> Anyways, as always feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS. Please let me know what you think, reviews and comments make my day.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	36. It's My Turn Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shelly confronts her brother, determined to finish the job but Stan is prepared to fight his way out of this. After all, he has a redhead waiting for him with an answer he needs to know.

**Shelly's POV**

It took me a while but I finally found a time when the turd didn't either have friends around him like that blue haired bitch or went straight home like Mom used to. I've been waiting outside his school and luckily he didn't even notice me following him from behind before I chloroformed him. I pull him behind a row of stores before I hear him moaning.

Shit, is he awaking up? I shoulda known that guy would've given me some cheap crap. He wakes up and immediately starts struggling. I refuse to let him go as I tighten my grip on him, slightly choking him. But he looks up to see my face.

"What the fuck? Shelly?" He chokes as he starts trying to pry my arm off of his neck, "What are you doing?"

"I'm finishing the job." I let out a threaten glare as I tighten my grip. I was hoping to do it somewhere more private but the turd gave me no choice.

"What's wrong with you?" He screams, "If you're mad at me for putting you in jail, I get that. But do you really have to murder me?" He breaks away from me, backing away from me to look at me with a face I've never seen on him.

I falter as I look at him. For a moment there, I thought I could see a hint of remorse in all that rage and fear. But as soon as the thought comes to mind, it leaves me. What am I saying? He's not sorry, I know he doesn't give a fuck. It's just an act, he thinks I'd go easy on him like that.

I grab him by the collar, throwing him against the wall. "Don't you get it, Stan? As long as you're around, I'm always in your shadow; I'll always be second place."

To my surprise, he's fighting back with a lot more power than I anticipated. He throws a strong right hook into my jaw and pushes me off of him, once again putting some distance between us. "I'm surprised, you've gotten stronger since I put that knife into your shoulder." I taunt as I wipe the blood. That punch made me clip my lip.

"I can't afford to lose, I have someone I need to get back to." He says firmly, carrying an aura of desperation and confidence. It makes me sick.

"Someone to get back to?" I scoff. "You're a drunk, you're a parasite, and you make everyone around you miserable. Who'd _really_ want you?" I rush at him again, knocking him onto the ground. "You're a piece of shit but you still get fucking everything. You don't deserve shit!" I scream into his ear and I punch him in the eye.

I get up and stand over him, dealing blow after blow as he curls in on himself to shield himself. I kick at his chest, stomach and legs. But with every extra ounce of force I put in, every blow feels less satisfying. In fact, it's beginning to feel empty. Why? This is what I wanted, I've been waiting for years to have him beneath my feet. But even as I ground my shoe into his face, that gnawing feeling just keeps growing.

"Fuck you, I don't care what you say." He wheezes as he tries to pull me down by my legs. "I. Don't. Deserve this." I can see the fire in his eyes as he starts fighting back again. Just seeing the drive in his eyes infuriates me so I lose any remaining control or logical thought and ring my hands around his neck, squeezing it tighter.

Out of the faint corner of my eye, I see a group of people coming towards us and I hear one of them scream, "Oh shit! Someone call 911!"

I'm running out of time, so I do the one thing I can do: tighten the grip I have around his neck. I keep going, applying more pressure until his face begins to lose color and he coughs and chokes for air, but he didn't give up like two years ago. He's still trying to pry my hand off his throat.

"Why can't you just die?" I shout as I squeeze even harder. "Just fucking die!" I can see the fire in his eyes slowly fade away but besides that fire, I don't see fear of death or me. It looks more a refusal to accept his fate. Why is he fighting so hard? Why does he have that he'd fight to the death for?

I didn't have time to find out, I realize it's too late the moment I heard the men behind us shouting "Police! Let go of that boy." I might want the turd dead but I'm not gonna die tonight. I throw his head onto the ground with a thud. He just chokes and gasps as he recovers the air he desperately needs as I put my hands up in relent defeat.

The officers don't care though, they push me up against the wall and check me for more weapons before putting my hands behind my back and cuffing them. God dammit, he's getting interrogated by the police and I'm sitting the back of a fucking cop car. Suddenly through the crowds of people, I see Mom and that stupid psychiatrist show up.

Of course you show up when Stan's the one in trouble.

I see Mom march up to me as Francine goes over to Stan. The first thing she does is ask me, "Shelly, where have you been?"

"Why do you care?" I scowl as I turn, facing away from her. I'm not going to give her the impression that she can ever control me.

"Shelly Marsh! So help me god, tell me why you attacked your brother." She starts to yell at me with a tone that feels so foreign yet so familiar.

"Because he's a thorn in my side." I answer drily before turning to her to shoot her a glare. But when I look at her, I don't see anger, I don't even see sadness. I see a woman frustrated to the point of breaking. That's when I realize why that tone felt so familiar, it was the same tone that my Mom used when she argued with day, the day before their divorce.

For the first time, I feel a calm yet tense silence between us before Francine steps in and puts a comforting hand on her shoulder, "Sharon, let me talk to her. Go check on Stanley." She says. Mom takes her suggestion with a blank look as she stands up and walks tiredly towards him. The look she gives me as she turns her back towards me is…

"Was it worth it?" I hear Francine ask me, snapping me back to reality.

"What?"

"I heard witnesses state that you stopped before kept attacking him until the police showed up." She states as she studies my expression, "Did you solve anything by taking it out on him?"

I take a good long moment to think about before answering, "No."

"I'm going to ask you something." She asks with a serious tone, "Imagine if the police didn't intervene and you got your wish. Your brother was dead, laying there on the sidewalk because you got what you wanted. How do you feel?"

Again, it takes me a while to think about the scenario. Stan, on the ground dead because I finally choked the life out of him like I almost did on his 16th birthday. I… I feel… "I feel… empty." I answer softly, almost like a whisper, "Like I don't know what to do anymore. I don't understand, I should be happy but how mom looked at me just now. It wasn't the eyes of someone looking at someone they care about, it was of someone who looks like they're ready to give up." I begin to spill my thoughts as the tears start to form. I don't get it, this was what I wanted. So why do I feel so lost?

"This is what I meant, Shelly." Francine explains, "You have nothing to gain if you killed your brother. You'd be completely alone, the one thing you're so afraid of. The worst part is that if you would've passed that point, there would be been no going back."

She straightens herself as a police officer comes over to open the door and unlock my handcuffs. As I stare confusingly at what's happening, Francine explains the situation, "Stanley has convinced the cops not to press charges. Second chances are short of supply. Use it wisely."

I don't even remember what happened after that, I get into Mom's car after the police interrogate me. Francine says goodbye and heads back. Stan has run off somewhere after the police finish questioning him, I don't care right now.

All I can think about is what Francine said. Going after Stan isn't going to make me happy, all it'll do is drive Mom away from me and… I'd be alone. She's right, that's not what I want.

So what am I supposed to do now?

* * *

**Kyle's POV**

_Hey, it's Stan. Sorry I can't pick up right now. Leave a message and I'll get back to you. Beep~_

Ugh, that's the 7th time I heard that voicemail. I hang up without leaving another message. It's been about two hours since our texts, he should've been here by now. I grip my phone tighter and hit 'Redial'

_Ring~_

_Ring~_

_Hey, it's Stan. Sorry I can't pick up-_

Fuck this, I end the call again furiously. I can't believe it, he fucking ditched me. That bastard had the balls to get my hopes up then leave me high and dry. He's so dead when I get my hands on him. Who does he think he is?! Who am I kidding? Why did I even get my hopes up? Did I just assume it'd be different just because it's Stan?

Get a grip, Kyle Broflovski. Who are you to think that someone'd even give me the time of day when it comes to relationship? I feel so done with everything. Dejected, I turn on my phone screen again and dial a different number.

"Hey, hey. This is Kenny."

"He stood me up." That's the first thing I say in the coldest tone I've ever used.

"What?" Kenny asks in shock and confusion.

"I rang him, three times, and he didn't even show up." I clench my jaw in anger before releasing it to let out a dejected sigh, "What a dick. I should've known that it was too good to be true." I chuckle drily to myself.

"Woah, woah. Back the hell up, Kyle." I pause and take a breather before he says, "Now tell Dr. Kenny what happened."

"I called and let his phone ring three times, he texted me and I even let him know that I'd be waiting at the bus stop for him. It's been 2 hours and I haven't even seen him."

Kenny listens patiently before asking, "You sure that he stood you up? Something could've come up or maybe he's in traffic."

I let out a chortle at his naïve optimism, "He could've just texted me or picked up during the last five fucking times I tried to call him, at least I'd know to wait for him at home or something like that."

"Do you think he's in an accident?" He suddenly asks, catching me off guard

"N-no… It couldn't be. Stan wouldn't get himself hurt like that." I whisper, more to reassure myself than to answer Kenny.

"I don't know. But even the dead could see how smitten Stan is for you, he wouldn't abandon you again. I know it's hard but you've gotta have faith and try to see this through. Keep trying or call Sue or something; no matter what the reason, find him and give him a chance to explain himself." He tries to encourage me but all I can feel is the heavy guilt in my heart weighing me down.

"Yeah, thanks Kenny." I hang up and I groan at myself, hating myself for even thinking that of Stan.

I keep thinking that Stan probably ditched me or was playing a prank on me. I never once consider that he isn't here because he really couldn't. What if he really was hurt? What if everything Kenny said was true and he was desperately trying to see me? I feel like such an asshole, Stan's probably doing his best and thinking on how to apologize to me; and all I can think is that he lied and ditched me, even though he's my best friend. Even though I know he thinks the world of me.

God, I'm such a jackass.

I keep repeating that in my head like a mantra as the phone keeps ringing, suddenly it goes through and I jump off the bench on the bus stop. "Hello, Stan?" I don't even try to hide to anxiousness in my voice, "Where were you? I called you like seven times."

"Hey Kyle. Sorry I left you hanging, something came." Stan apologizes, he sounds tired and weak. "I'm heading over to the bus stop right now."

"Sure." I say before we hang up. I can't help but think about Stan right now. He sounds like that night I found him in his room injured, but much worse.

As Stan appears out of the corner of my eye, I feel my heart stop and drop down into the ground below me. Stan was covered in bruises and blood, he has a black eye forming on the right side of his face, distracting me from the stunning shimmer of his azure blue eyes. His black hair is completely disheveled and covered with dirt, part of it is stuck onto his forehead from the blood dying, sticking it in place. He looks up to me and gives me a small smile, but I can tell it's not as easy as he's trying to make it look.

"Holy shit, what happened to you?!" I say as I run up to him. He's not about to faint but he looks like he should be in the hospital.

"Shelly. I'm fine though, she just kinda kicked my ass." He even tries to laugh it off for my sake. I feel the guilt gnawing at me now, how could I've doubted someone as dorky as him?

I say nothing and hug him, burying myself into his chest. Stan seems fluttered as he awkwardly wraps his arms around him and pats the back of my head, "Wow, Kyle. Never saw this side of you before." He smiles.

I laugh a little and lightly punching him in the chest before pulling away just enough to look at him without unlinking ourselves.

He breaks up the hug and we begin our walk to his car. "So I guess I owe you an explanation." He starts.

"Uh-huh."

"I was on my way to see you."

"Sure you were." I tease him as we walk side by side.

"When I heard my phone ring three times, I felt like I was dreaming, I couldn't stop smiling or shaking." I look up at him and sure again, he has that big goofy grin I remember seeing when he was around Wendy, but now it's there because of me. "I practically flew out the building and jumped into my car. I was so tunnel-vision I didn't even notice Shelly when she came up to me." He finishes but he has this awkward look, like he's ashamed of something.

"You OK, Stan?" I ask him.

"Just a little embarrassed, I guess. I had so many scenarios in my head on how it'd be like when you ring me up, but showing up late after getting my ass handed to me by my psycho sister wasn't one of them." He replies while rubbing the back of his neck, "I just don't know what you'd think about this."

I stop in my tracks to give him an incredulous look, "Come on Stan, really?"

"Huh?"

"Give your boyfriend some credit here. We grew up together, remember? I know what Shelly's like and I know what you've been through. I already understand, so don't worry about it." I roll my eyes and smile, it's kinda sweet that he cares so much about something like this.

"Boyfriend?" He smiles as he raises his eyebrow.

"Well yeah. We're boyfriends now, right?" I ask cautiously, "I mean, if you're interested in me and I'm interested in you, and we're dating, doesn't that make-?" I continue to rant until Stan cuts me off with a quick kiss on my lips. "You talk too much." He smirks before reattaching his lips onto mine.

I gladly reciprocate, moving my lips against his and it feels amazing. It's even better than the time he kissed me in Hawaii. It feels soft and gentle, strong, bold and confident. He holds me closer to him as his hands travel up my forearms and cups my face, and it feels so right. I feel so at ease, so complete.

But before I know it, the tingling feeling I had when we started our kiss starts to get stronger. This isn't right, it's getting worse. I soon realize that I'm having an anxiety attack, I feel the blood rushing through my veins freezing me like ice as I start to sweat. I want to pull away but I don't really want to, besides I'm too frozen to do anything.

Stan seems to catch on, he pulls away from me and asks me with a concerned look on his face, "Hey, you OK?"

My breaths are short and erratic but I try to put on a strong face, "Yeah, just a little episode." I try my best to regulate my breathing again as I reply as reassuring as I can right now, "I'll be fine"

Stan just looks at me as he wraps my arms around my waist, rubbing my back to sooth me. "You're shaking." He whispers sadly at the realization.

"It's just a thing, don't worry about it. I just don't do very well with heavy kissing and stuff like that." I utter to him. I'm honestly a little embarrassed that I have to admit that to Stan while my hands are shaking.

Stan, however being that amazing person that he is, just nods understandingly and says, "OK then, we'll go slow then."

Our drive back to the house was quiet but comforting. It's one of those peaceful silence moments you hear so much about in movies. None of us say a thing but all we can think about is how happy we are now.

After we enter the house, I struggle to figure out what to do next. We stand at the intersection between our rooms before I start awkwardly, "So…"

I can't believe it. I'm too shy right now to look at the man I just kissed, the friend I had since I could speak. Why am I so awkward?

Stan's no better off as he mirrors my awkward expression, still with that big smile on his face, "Yeah, umm."

"Well, good night Stan."

"Night, Kyle."

We say our good-nights before going into our rooms. After a while, I walk out to change the candle and I can't help but smile again. I did it, I confessed and he accepted it. As I light the candle and link my hands together to pray, I can't help but say to whatever celestial being is listening.

Thank you, for giving me this chance.

* * *

**Stan's POV**

I listen intensely as Z finishes up playing the song. He's been asking me to teach him how to play the guitar, since he's got a guitar playing friend to help him get better. I meet up with him at our hangout: under the bridge of the park we go to, and he'd start showing me what he knows and I'd help him along the way.

"How was that?" Z asks me as he puts his guitar down.

"Well you're still a beat behind during the chorus and you have problems with shifting smoothly. But not too bad." I compliment him as I pick up the guitar on my lap and give him a live demonstration, "See? This is how you do it."

I keep playing as Z studies my actions. But after I stop, I notice him studying my face. "What?" I ask.

"So you look so much happier than last I saw you." Z says as he eyes me suspiciously. "What, you lose your V card?"

I guess I do look like a psycho, since I look like I got ran over by a truck but I still have the smile of someone who just won the grand prize of the lottery. But then again, Kyle is way more rewarding than winning a lucky draw.

"Well getting a boyfriend seems something to be happy about." I answer smugly, not bothering to hide the shit-eating grin I've had on my face since I woke up this morning and realize that everything that happened last night was real.

"You got Kyle to be your boyfriend?" Z's cyan eyes turn from suspicious silts to wide-eye joy, "Stan, that's awesome."

"Thanks, Z." I ruffle his short black hair as I tune up my guitar, "So what about you and that girl you've been chasing?"

His smile drops and he responds with a sigh, "Oh… I let her go."

That nearly shocks me into dropping my guitar, "What? Why?"

"Jeff did come home after you beat him senseless, but he's been a real pain in the ass." He frowns, "I don't want her to get caught up in my dysfunctional family drama."

Well I guess it makes sense, I was worried about what Kyle thought about me and Shelly's messed up sibling rivalry because he told me that he didn't care. I guess the kid's just not as lucky. "Fuck dude, I'm sorry."

"It's fine, it was my call anyways. Let's just not talk about her anymore." He sulks as he turns his focus back to his guitar.

"Right." I nod as I come up with something else to say, "So how's your mom doing?"

"I don't know how she is anymore, she looks happy but she isn't smiling. She doesn't complain but I barely hear her say anything about Jeff or my stepdad. I don't know how I can make her happy, Stan."

"Well, I'm sure this song you'll make her smile." I ruffle his hair again, in encouragement, "Come on, let's keep practicing."

"If this doesn't work I don't know what will." He giggles a little as he pull my hand out of his hair. I playfully fight against him and I accidently push onto his hand. He pulls his hand away and grimaces in pain, "Argh."

I stop joking and ask him, "Hey, what happened?" He quickly tries to hide his wrist but I manage to pull him from his back and I look at his fingers, they're not broken but the joints and the back of his hand are bruised and twitching. "What's wrong with your hands?"

"It's fine, Jeff's just an asshole." He pulls his hand away from my grasp again, lightly massaging it to ebb the pain, "He stomps on my wrists when he sees me with my guitar."

"That's not OK, you should get that checked."

"I'll be fine, it's just a little twitchy. It'll go away soon enough"

"Ok, but if this keeps up you should go see a doctor." I relent but I make sure to remind him, "You can't really play guitar with shaky hands like those."

"Got it, see ya then." He nods and gets up off the ground we're sitting on.

"You're heading back already?" I ask in surprise. Usually we hang out until the sun sets but nowadays I see him more but he seems more tense and on edge.

"Mom doesn't like me staying out for too long since she's gotta keep watch on Jeff." He explains, disappointed but he walks over to his bike with a stiff smile on his face.

"Be careful about him, Ok?" I warn Z, I don't need what happened to me with Shelly to happen to him with his stepbrother, "People like him don't just stop."

"I will." He nods and gets on his bike. Before he leaves, he turns around and says with the most sincere voice I've ever heard, "Thanks by the way, for everything. You're the only one who'd even give a shit about me, if you didn't I'd probably be as good as dead."

"Don't say that, kid." I scold him jokingly as I watch him leave, "Don't practice tonight and let your fingers rest."

"Got it." He gives me a thumbs up as he rides back home. I pick up my guitar and get into my car. As I start driving back to the house, I get a phone call from Kyle. "Hey, baby. What's up?"

"Ok, first off. No 'baby' or 'babe', Ok? It's gay as fuck."

"So… we're gonna keep dating?"

"Are you kidding me, Stan?" "You have no idea how hard is it for me to get here, you lost your chance to back out. We're stuck together."

"Ok, fair enough. Where are you right now?"

"Getting out of class. Man, the TA is worse than Mr. Garrison."

"Damn, that sucks ass."

"Tell me about it, I need to blow off some steam."

"Mario Kart and pizza?"

"Deluxe. And we're gonna need two of them since Kenny and Tweek are gonna want some."

"Done, I'll get everything set up."

"Ok, see you home."

Home. He said home. I know what he means but I just get this nauseatingly-sweet happiness bubbling inside me. I hope I feel like this every time I'm with Kyle. He's just perfect, strong, determined and he's still the same Kyle I've known for all these years. He's just the kind of lover I want.

I make it to the house in record time and hop in to set up the game system. I check the clock as I hear Mario Kart 8 Deluxe starting up on the TV. Huh, Kyle's bus will probably get here in about 20 minutes. I smile as an idea pops into my head. I get on the phone as I walk out of the house to place the orders for our pizzas on take-out.

I manage to get into an ice cream shop nearby and get some sugar-free vanilla ice cream before waiting at the bus stop for Kyle. Soon I see the bus pull up and I see him near the window as he gets off the bus, pulling the earpiece out and putting into his pocket. He stops in surprise once he notices me, "Stan? What are you doing here?"

"I'm waiting for my boyfriend." I smirk as I give him one of the cones in my hands.

He giggles a little at my cheesy remark and takes the ice cream cone I offer him. I gently hold his hand as we walk to the pizza place. To my surprise, he suddenly laces his fingers with mine, entwining them into a more intimate gesture. I look up at him and he's blushing so hard that he looks like a strawberry. "Look straight ahead, Stan. This is embarrassing enough as it is."

I comply, but that gesture's enough to make me smile like a goddamn idiot again. My face is probably aching from smiling so much by now. Kyle notices that too, "What's with that dopey ass grin on your face?"

"Because I like you." I answer straightforwardly.

"God, Stan." He rolls his eyes with the same dopey grin.

"What?" I shrug as I wink at him, "You're just my style."

He laughs as he shakes his head. "That's it, I'm so kicking your ass in Mario Kart tonight." He declares as he eats his cone.

We spend the night playing Mario Kart together and shoving pizza down our throats until Kenny and Tweek get back. We tell them everything about us being together now, with Tweek congratulating Kyle on his breakthrough, and Kenny giving us a high-five and telling Kyle 'I told you so', whatever that's about.

They join in and at the end of the night, we all fall asleep on the couch, surrounded with pizza and pillows thrown at the winner, usually Kyle. I'm the last one awake, just staring down the sweet, fiery redhead sound asleep on my lap. I stroke his hair lovingly as I slowly drift asleep to one of the best dreams I ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here's your sugar sweet Stan-and-Kyle romance. I had a lot of fun writing this chapter and it went on longer than I originally planned. Next time, the boys will be dealing with bumps and mishaps in their new relationships as well as Stan and Kyle's first date.
> 
> I really should've had this chapter out sooner but action scenes are my goddamn kryptonite, which sucks because that's one of my favorite genre.
> 
> The song I recommend listening to while reading this (after Shelly's part, of course) is another song from the drama's soundtrack,  
> I Feel I Love You: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fW5Mxec3y5o
> 
> Anyways, as always feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS. Please let me know what you think, reviews and comments make my day.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	37. Love is Fiction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie seems to breaking down more and more as she becomes a prisoner of her own body and mind, meanwhile Stan tries to take Kyle out on their first date but things just won’t go his way.

**Stan's POV**

"Thanks for helping me, Stan." Kate says as she fiddles around with the audio and lighting controls. She's asked me to help her practice setting up for BC Live, since she'll become the director when Sue graduates. Kate and I don't talk much outside of work but she's dropped her fangirl persona around me and has a more sassy personality to match her deceivingly sweet child-like look and voice.

"No problem, Kate." I respond, walking over to the boom mic and adjusting it outside of the camera shot.

"Things have been getting hectic here lately, thanks to all the bullshit and exams." She groans, "I can't wait for summer. I'm gonna go to LA and maybe get a boyfriend there, what's your plan?"

"Oh… I haven't really thought of that." I answer as I lock the boom mic in place, "Kyle and I haven't thought much with his workload and all."

Kyle and I getting together is probably the best thing that's happened to me lately, but that doesn't mean that life's gonna let me enjoy that 'drunk in love' feeling. Kyle's been busy with assignments and preparations for Finals. I've been helping Z and working with Cartman to create something for the recording agency, they want a demo tape before they'll consider signing me in. Kyle has been expectedly shy with it comes to PDA, but he does like it when I lock my fingers with his.

"Oh yeah, you already got a boyfriend to show off." Kate smiles amusingly while walking to the stage and handing me the cup of dark roast I brought with me, "Sue didn't tell me much, how're you and Kyle? How did your first date go?"

"Umm… I don't think we really had a first date."

"Serioously?" She gasps in disbelief, "You should take him out then. Every couple remembers their first date, make sure it's a good one."

"Yeah. Ok." I nod mindlessly, a little embarrassed that I actually haven't taken him out on our first date yet. Yup, definitely not gonna get best boyfriend of the year. I steer the topic and my thoughts away from my already failing love life, "So, how's working with Sue on production going?"

"Ugh, don't remind me. How she does it, I will never understand." She complains but I can hear the admiration in her voice, "She has so many things on her mind just for BC Live alone, I have no idea how she manages her school life, her personal and social life and looking for an internship. And I work as both her assistant and the makeup artist in the department."

"That's why she's the boss. And needs four cups of coffee to get through the day." I add.

"You're no better. I've seen you come in here with two cup of dark roast and you finished it in an hour."

"I haven't had a good night's sleep in months." I yawn as I recount the awful nights of sleep I've been having, "I think it's the university life and everything going on now that's stressing me out, I never remember it being this bad in high school."

"A lot easier when all you had to worry about was becoming homecoming king, huh?"

"Shut up, I was never homecoming king." I chuckle.

"Coulda fooled me, hot stuff." She winks playfully, "It's a real shame all the good guys are either taken or gay."

"Or both." I smirk with pride, "Actually, Tweek's still single."

"Yeah but I ain't even gonna try messing with Sue's lil crush. I don't understand why he isn't doing anything though. Sue doesn't seem like the girl to like the shy guys"

"Tweek's a little tough to crack, he does like Sue. I think he just needs the right motivation."

"Dating the girl you like isn't motivation enough?" She raises her brow before her eyes open and I can see a little lightbulb pop up above her head. "You know what, I got a great idea. Some of the crew and I are setting up a party to celebrate Sue's internship and her last year with us, sounds like the perfect time for him to make his move."

"Yeah, that actually sounds like a great idea. I'll let him know."

"If they get married, I better be main bridesmaid." She finishes up the bottle of water in her hand and stands up to stretch. "All right, that's all the work for today. Thanks Stan."

"No problem, see ya Kate." We say our goodbyes and split off our own ways. I walk out with what Kate said in mind, with a determined thought I take a deep breath and call him up.

"Hey, Kyle."

"Hi Stan, what's up?" I grin as I hear his slightly tired but cheerful voice.

"Nah, I just got done with helping Kate at the Communication building. You free tonight?"

"I'm not sure right now, Stan."

"Oh… Ok then. Let me know when you're free or whatever."

He hears the disappointment in my voice and sighs, "Sorry, now's not a good time. I'll see you back home."

Even though Kyle said that, I still feel myself sulk. What was I thinking? I don't even have a plan yet! What am I supposed to do for our first date? OK Stan, second chance. You've gotta come up with a plan before then.

My phone suddenly rings and I notice that it's an unknown number. Curious and a little cautious, I answer the call, "Hello?"

"Hello Stanley, this is Dr. Francine Nixon." She greets and I let out a small breath I didn't know I was holding, "I hope you don't mind, I got your number from your mom."

"Oh, it's cool. What's up?"

"I need to talk to you about Shelly. I'm sure your mom has mentioned her recent behavior."

I furrow my brows at the thought of my sister. Last time I went to visit Mom, she mentioned that Shelly hasn't been talking much, she's been in her room with a blank, emotionless stare 24/7. Mom's really worried about her but I don't know what to think about her right now. "Just because I saved her ass from jail, doesn't mean I forgave her for what she did."

"Fair enough, but I think this can help both of you." She says empathically, "What she did was inexcusable but she can't do this without you. Give her one last chance."

"What do you need from me?"

"First of all, information. I've heard bits and pieces from her and your mom but I need to know your side too. We also need to work on correcting her mindset, she seems to push everything onto your shoulders, even if it's her own fault. Lastly, we need to repair your relationship with her."

Repairing my relationship with Shelly? How can you fix over a decade's worth of pain and bullying? Dr. Nixon does sound optimistic and determined though. If it can fix Shelly and make my mom happy, what'd I got to lose? "Ok, when do we start?"

"I'll have to talk to Shelly about it, I need her to want to change before we can make any progress. For now, we'll arrange a time where you can come to my office and you can tell me about you and Shelly."

We talk some more about what she believes me and my mom can do to help Shelly and a time where both of us can properly discuss this before I end the call. I almost feel bad for Shelly, regardless of the shit she did to me, she's still my sister and Dr. Nixon truly believes that Shelly can be rehabilitated. Maybe I need to share some of that faith.

Either way, there's nothing I can do now. I redirect my thoughts onto what I should be spending time thinking about: how to impress Kyle on our first date.

* * *

**Kyle's POV**

I sigh as I pocket my cell phone, I know Stan's a little upset that I put him on a rain check but I've got my hands full right now. I reenter the living room where Charlie is pacing around the room, her hair is now in a short braid with bejeweled hair accessories decorating it, she's wearing a frilly pink dress and she caked her face in makeup now, I never thought I'd see Charlie like this and it scaring me how much she's letting it control her. She looks fine on the outside but I can tell by the way she's biting the purple glittery polish off her nails that she's unhinged now.

I grab her shoulder to stop her pacing, "Charlie, calm down."

"Of course you'd say that, you have a lover who dotes over you." She snaps, but quickly changes from short-tempered anger to nervous-wreaking sadness, "How can I calm down? Kenny's been so distant lately, the last time I remember him kissing me is when I dolled up that day at the arcade. But dressing up won't even work now."

"I think you're a little paranoid." I try my best to comfort her.

"I wouldn't be if I didn't hear him mentioning Bebe's name. What if I'm not good enough for him anymore?" She starts to exaggerate.

Dr. Nixon told me that Charlie's been taking hormonal pills to start her transition, but I'm not well prepared for whatever's going through her head right now and I don't think her head's ready to listen to reasoning.

"Are you kidding me? Kenny won't leave you for Bebe, she broke his heart and he cares for you too much for me to even believe that."

"But is that love? Even if it's not Bebe, who's to say he won't love any other woman? A beautiful, _real_ woman." She sighs, "I'm incomplete, a fake. No matter how hard I try, I can't beat my own body, Kyle."

"Charlie, stop thinking for a moment. Just look and focus on my voice." I say every word with a calm asserting voice, "Now breathe. Good." I instruct as both Charlie and I take a deep breath in and out before I continue, "Listen, I can't even pretend like I know what you're going through. But you can't let that kind of thinking gnaw away at you, it's hard but you can't fall into that trap."

"It's so hard, I feel like my body and I are at war. I feel muscles where my curves are supposed to be; every time I hear my voice crack, I hate it so much because that sounds so wrong, my voice shouldn't do that. My body shouldn't be like that. No wonder Kenny would want another girl, I can't give him what he wants."

"Charlie, he's pansexual. Kenny doesn't give a fuck about gender, he loves you for you."

"Gender blind doesn't mean he doesn't have a preference, his just happens to include child bearing hips and organs."

"Listen, you're stressing yourself way too much with this. You need to turn off your brain for a bit. Let's just watch something and tune out for a few minutes. You can't think straight like this anyways." I suggest as I turn on Netflix and look for a comedy for us to watch.

After watching Chris Pratt fighting alongside a raccoon and a giant tree played by Vin Diesel to save the galaxy, I finally see Charlie smiling again. Looks like I got her mind off of that.

When it's time for her to head home, she turns to me and give me a hug, "Thanks, Kyle. I know I can be a bitch and a little needy right now-"

I cut off her and pat her back in a reassuring manner, "Don't worry about it, we can't be tough 24/7 and it's fine to be a little selfish sometimes. Just let me know how I can help you, your aunt and I really wanna help you through this."

She nods before heading to her aunt's car, she's a bit happier now but she's not out of the woods until she can beat those inner demons. I let out a sad sigh, she really doesn't need this now. She just went through a heavy trial case, faced the dismissal of her horrible family, and she's now fighting an endless battle against her own developing body.

I hear my phone ringing again, is Stan calling me again to hang out? I dig my phone out of my pocket and look at the caller ID. Oh god, it's Ma. I groan but I have to face the inevitable and I answer the call, "Hey Ma."

"Hello, bubbi. I've heard about you and Stanley. Why didn't you tell me you two were together?" She asks in an interrogative tone

Oh great, she found out. Ike or Karen must've let it slip. "Yeah, Stan and I are still a little new with the whole dating thing and-" I mumble some half-ass excuse for why I didn't tell her yet, for obvious reasons.

"I'm just happy that you've finally found someone to date. You should have him over from dinner sometime, I'd love to see Sharon again."

"Umm Ma, it's a little fast, don't you think?"

"Nonsense, you two have been together since you were in diapers and I've seen him in our house as much as Sharon saw you in theirs."

And this is why I didn't tell her yet, I love my Ma but she's so overzealous and she keeps pressuring me into these things. Knowing I can't win, I just comply mindlessly, "I'll ask him and we'll think about it."

"Ok, bye Kyle." She says cheerfully as she ends the call. I run my hand through my red curls in frustration, the minute she hears that I have a boyfriend, she makes it clear that she has to know everything about it, whether I want to share it or not. I need to get my mind off of this, I unlock my phone and call Stan.

"Hey Stan, sorry about earlier. You still wanna hang out?"

"Yeah, I'll see you this afternoon?" He replies brightly, washing away the annoyance I felt a while ago.

"Sure, see ya." I chirp as we hang up the call with a smile. Man, it feels so good to let myself feel like this. I've still got a long way to go and Ma isn't making it easier by butting into my life but it's nice to know that Stan can make me feel so relaxed. Now I have to worry about how I'm gonna tell him about my terrifying mother wants to 'talk' with him over dinner.

* * *

**Stan's POV**

I was hoping that I'd have a little more time to plan out our first date, turns out that little bit of time was 3 hours. I go crazy on Google, trying to find the best places to take him. Kyle may be a guy, but he can be hard to impress. I arrive back at the house with my car, parked outside and waiting for Kyle. I told him to dress up a little for tonight and keeping everything else in the dark.

I honk my car and I see Kyle hopping out of the front door, he's wear a nice grey blazer with a green gaming T-shirt beneath it, some black jeans, and his iconic green ushanka on top of his head with a few red ringlets with his fringe spilling from the front of it. I get out of the car and open the passenger side door for him, like a perfect gentleman. He raises his brow amused but plays along as he gets in and buckles up.

"So, you sounded excited. What's the plan today?" He asks.

"I've got us reservations at Ristorante Stravagante and I know you've been dying to see that new Marvel movie, so I got us tickets." I say with pride. I've learned that Kyle's grown a devotion toward the Marvel Cinematic Universe and I managed to get some tickets at the backrow, you know, the couple seat section.

"Dude, that's awesome!" Kyle chirps excitedly, "Let's go!"

I smile at his enthusiasm, it just makes me all the more determined to make this the best date he'll have. We talk more on the car, he talks about how complicated things have been for Charlie and I mention about Kate's suggestion for Tweek to impress Sue. We arrive at the restaurant and I notice Kyle's eyes widen. I guess he doesn't know much about Ristorante Stravagante and I smile proudly as I do a little happy dance on the inside. So far so good, Stan.

"Reservations for 2, Marsh." I stride confidently to the host.

"I'm sorry but all reservations have been voided." He responds with a not-so-apologetic tone, completely raining on my thunder.

" **WHAT!?** " I shout a little too loudly, since Kyle had to tell me to lower my voice.

"Didn't you hear? That couple over there spent ten thousand dollars to book the entire restaurant." He explains as he gestures over to a rich looking couple and their cat, who's sitting on a chair with a party hat on its head and a cake along with a 6 course meal in front of us.

I'm flabbergasted but arguing about how stupid it was for someone to spend over ten thousand dollars for a cat isn't gonna get us dinner here, and it's certainly not gonna fix this date. "Fuck…" I pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration, so much for the dress up. "Umm you up for some Casa Bonita?" I suggest off the top of my head.

"Stan, it's a 35 minute drive. We'll never make it in time for the movie if we go now." He reasons. Fuck he's right. And I doubt we're gonna get a table at some nice restaurant now without paying a shit ton.

My awful mood must've been pretty obvious, because Kyle just clings onto my arm and leans close to my side. "Let's just pick somewhere here." He says with a smile, trying to cheer me up.

Goddammit, now I've ruined the mood. I smile back, albeit a little forced but I'm gonna try and turn this date around. At the end, we just decide to skip dinner and go right to the movies and get some popcorn instead. Relax Stan, there's still a chance to redeem myself here. We're gonna be sitting in a couple seat, probably sharing a drink and a tub of popcorn. Maybe he'll put his head on my shoulder and we can cuddle, with our hands touching every time we reach for popcorn, just like all those corny 90s movies Wendy made me watch. That's romantic, right? Yeah, there's still a chance yet.

"Sorry about-" I try to apologize for my shitty planning but I get cut off by Kyle's phone ringing.

He casts me an apologetic look as he answers the call, "Hey Kenny, what's up?" He suddenly burrows his brows in confusion, "Bebe? What're you doing with Kenny's phone?" He asks, then he nods with a worried look on his face. "Ok? Text me where you guys are and we'll be there soon." He ends the call and turns to me and explains in urgent and remorseful tone, "Stan, Kenny's passed out drunk at some bar. We need to get him."

I sigh and let my shoulders drop in disappointment, so much for the movie too. I pick myself up and say, "Alright, let's go get 'im."

Kyle reads the address he gets from Bebe and I turn the car around, driving towards the bar, away from the movie theater and away any remote chance of me salvaging our first date. We soon arrive and enter the bar, immediately we see Kenny lying his head of the counter with Clyde watching over him and Bebe looking for us. She sees us and heads towards us. "Hey, thanks for coming over. Clyde's helping him as much as he can but I don't think that's saying much." She explains as we approach Kenny and Clyde

"I'm doing my best here!" Clyde whines, mildly offended by his girlfriend's words.

Kyle walks over and lightly slaps Kenny's check, letting us know that he's out cold and he probably won't be able to walk himself out the door. "Uh-huh, well we'll need get him into the car. Clyde, help me and Stan get Kenny into the car."

"Ok big boy, time to go home." We pick Kenny up from the barstool with Kenny on my back, and Clyde and Kyle supporting Kenny's limp body from each side. With his face so near mine, I can smell the booze wafting from his breath. Kenny reeks of alcohol. "Jesus, did he say why he was destroying his liver?" I ask.

"Something about disappointing Karen and being a fuck up." Bebe answers, "I can't made it out with all the mumbling and the slurring."

After a few bumps and close calls, we manage to get him into my car. I just hope Kenny doesn't vomit in it, that'll really put the icing on the shit night of a cake. "Thanks for watching over him, guys." Kyle says through the car window.

"No problem, Kyle." Bebe nods before looking remorseful at Kenny, "I am sorry how things turned out between me and Kenny but I still care for him, just make sure he doesn't keep this up."

"We won't" I promise the couple, I know firsthand how miserable that life is. She waves and we part ways.

Kyle is sitting in the back to help take care of Kenny and make sure he doesn't fall over or knock his head on something. He looks over Kenny with sad, worried eyes, "God, I haven't seen Kenny this bad since Bebe told him about the abortion."

"It's Ok, Kyle. Kenny's a tough guy, he'll be fine."

"He'll wake up with a fucking hangover, I'm not worried about him dying. I'm worried about what caused it. Kenny doesn't go this far without something tearing him apart."

I turn my focus to driving as the silence falls between us. It's not one of those blissful warm silences, it's one of the tense ones, the calm before the storm as we're trying to figure out what to do next. "Should we tell Karen?" I ask.

"Are you kidding me? Kenny can't die, but not us. And I refuse to let you die after everything we went through to get together." He answers possessively, making me crack a little smile. "Besides, what can Karen do from South Park anyways?"

"So, what should we do?"

"Interrogate him, what else? When he wakes up tomorrow, we're gonna get some answers outta him." Kyle concludes.

We make it back without Kenny throwing up onto my seats, which is a blissing on its own. We stumble as the two of us put his arms on each of us and lift him out of my car. We struggle to get Kenny in through the front door. We soon hear footsteps rushing down the staircase, and Tweek shows up looking tired, relieved that it's us at the door and not some burglar, and terrified when he notices Kenny in between us. "Oh god! W-what's wrong with K-Kenny?" He shouts as he starts twitching nervously.

"He's right, Tweek." Kyle grunts, trying desperately not to drop him, "Just a little comatosed right now."

"Help us, dude." I say forcefully.

Tweek lifts Kenny onto his back and puts him down on the couch with a little more force than Tweek expects. "Gah! S-sorry Kenny."

Kenny doesn't seem to notice, still being out cold and all. So we leave him to sleep it off. Since Kyle and I didn't have dinner nor popcorn, we opt for some instant noodles we have in the kitchen. "Well… Sorry about tonight, Stan." Kyle apologizes as he puts the water-filled pot onto the stove and turns it on.

"It's fine, Kyle. I just wish our first date turned out better."

"What?" He turns and looks at me in disbelief, "Stan, we already had our first date."

"We did?"

"Yeah, remember? You walked me home with ice cream and pizza, then we played Mario Kart until we passed out." He recounts, using his fingers to count every event, "That's our first date."

I let Kyle's words sink in and he's right, we had such a perfect night together and I didn't even consider it as that. "Yeah, I guess you're right." I smile fondly, "I was trying so hard to make tonight memorable and making it the best date you ever had."

"Seriously? That's what you were upset about earlier?"

"Yeah, I guess it was pretty stupid." I chuckled, more at myself for being such an idiot. "I just wanted to make it special for you."

"Nah, I think it's cute." He giggles, "You're such a romantic." He punctuates that with a quick peck on my cheek, giving me a rush. Kyle's not one to initiate romantic gestures like that, especially kisses. God, that makes me want to kiss him even more, but I did say I'd be patient with Kyle, so I keep myself in check and look at Kyle's emerald eyes in contract with his strawberry blush face, he's adorable.

We finish our noodles, a little slower than usual since we keep trying to snip each other's noodles as we're slurping them. We go back to our rooms with me giving Kyle a little Eskimo kiss. His face has turned red so many times, I wonder if he'll pass out from all the blood in his cheeks.

I sit in my room, strumming my guitar, trying for some inspiration. But I suddenly feel the joints of my fingers hurting, they begin to twitch and ache too much for me to keep playing. I put down my guitar and start browsing online until a traveling ad catches my eye. The gears in my head start turning as I pull up Google again to do some research. I feel myself smiling at the results, it’s not cheap, but with careful planning and a month’s worth of bread for meals it’s not impossible. Tonight might not have gone as planned but this might finally let me show Kyle how much he means to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I want to write these two being cute some more before I start going into the more drama heavy stuff. So yeah, this chapter is more fluff and set up for future chapters. Kenny and Charlie are a mess right now with their own issues to deal with, I'll give whoever can guess the reason a pixel cookie. Next time, the boys will be dealing with their own family issues along with their own.
> 
> For those who might not remember Kate, she's the makeup artist for BC Live. She was introduced in Chapter 6 along with Sue, I didn't originally plan for her to reappear but I felt the story needed someone else from the Communications Building who's a little more knowledgeable about the inner workings of the team besides Sue and Jake so she reappears once again XD
> 
> Another song to recommend when reading this chapter (especially their date scene and the talking part at the end)  
> Ulala Session - Love Fiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMLnL3hLBH8
> 
> Anyways, as always feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS. Please let me know what you think, reviews and comments make my day.
> 
> Take care, Loves. c:


	38. The Tears Behind The Masks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny and Charlie seem to be walking on eggshells by this point. Kyle’s family comes to Denver to visit Kyle and the gang, much to his dismay. Stan meets up with Dr. Francine Nixon to talk about his sister while something seems to be wrong with Z.

**Kenny's POV**

Ugh… Everything hurts. I can't believe that Stan does this to himself, I've even seen the amount he chugs. Ow… Why am I even thinking right now? Let me pass out again.

"Oh good, you're up." I hear a voice from behind me. I groan and curl in pulling the blanket on me over my head, wrapping it around me and shielding myself from the sunlight I'm starting to notice around me.

So from I tell, I'm not at the bar. I'm at the house, on our couch with a blanket over my head. I remember Bebe and Clyde

"So… I didn't kill myself last night." I conclude oh-so-brilliantly as I deal with the relentless throbbing in my head.

"Nope, wouldn't have a hangover if that happened but you came pretty close." I soon recognize that the voice is Kyle's and he's in scolding mode. Oh boy. "Hell, you probably would've if Bebe and Clyde didn't stop you."

"Did they say anything?" I ask with my head slighting poking out of the blanket cocoon.

"Other than the mumbling that came outta your drunk ass mouth? No. So are you gonna start talking?" Kyle asks a more aggressive tone with his arms crossed in front of his chest. "I can't speak for everyone but you don't retort to that shit unless it's serious, so what is it? What's the damage? And how do we help you?" He punctuates every question with a finger raised to count and a glare that's supposed to convince me to confess.

"Nothing's wrong. There's no damage and you guys aren't helping shit." I hide my face beneath the blanket as I pathetically try to reassure them. Maybe if my voice didn't sound so whiny from the hangover…

"K-Kenny, we're t-trying to help." Tweek pipes in from behind Kyle.

"Yeah, you're freaking Tweek out." Stan adds, slightly closer to Kyle and trying to calm Tweek down.

"Listen I know you guys mean well, but you can't help me with this one."

After hearing that, Kyle turns to the offensive. "Don't you pull that shit on me, Kenny. We've been watching out for each other for over 13 years now. I'm not gonna let you kill yourself over whatever the hell this is."

"I wish I  _could_  die!" I cry out without thought, "At least Karen would've been better off."

"What're you talking about? Karen'd be devastated if you stayed dead." Tweek asks in confusion.

Kyle looks impatient with his foot tapping against our wooden floor, finally he gets tired of my silence and pulls out his phone, "Kenny, last chance. If you don't tell us, I'm calling Karen and asking her-"

I immediately cut him off with the most threatening growl I could conjure in my drunken slur, "Don't even finish that thought, Broflovski."

Kyle just gives me a smug smile as he waves his phone in my face and asks, "So are you talking or not?"

I know Kyle isn't really taunting me with this but it's enough to make me snap and spill everything. "Fine, you wanna know so bad?" I ignore the cracking headache as I shout angrily, "Have you noticed that I haven't been out late until recently? Have you even heard me practice? No, of course not. Because the club found a better, more  _trendy_  DJ and kicked me to the curb." After my outburst, all that's left is the shocked expressions on my friends and the sounds of my panting, trying to regain my breath and composure. I never really told anyone this, well not when I'm sober at least, I'm probably sure I've spilled my share of drunken woes to the bartenders.

"But… what about your job at Harbucks?" Tweek asks.

I shake my head with an empty chuckle, "Ha, you kidding me? 10 bucks an hour barely covers for my life here, what about Karen?"

"She's got a job too, Kenny." Kyle argues, "You don't have to shoulder all of it. She can sell her apartment and stay with Ike and my parents, there."

"I'm not gonna let her spend her money on me. If she sells the place, it better go to her college funds" "Don't you get it, Kyle? She's my baby sister, it's my job to take care of her, and if I can't do this then what good am I?"

Kyle just crosses his arms and sighs, "Fine, I get that. But even if you don't tell Karen, why keep it from us?"

"What can you guys do about it? I can't expect you guys to pay for me. I lived that life as a kid and I'm not scoping down to that again."

"So how much does Bebe know?" Stan suddenly breaks his silence.

"Huh?"

Kyle then joins in, "Yeah, you asked how much Bebe told us, no one that drunk remembers what they said. Plus, Charlie said that you've been talking to Bebe a lot."

"She saw me when I was out job hunting and she just bought me lunch and just promised to keep it to herself." I explain, "She's been helping me cover more ground but nothing's gonna pay as well as that job with my shitty ass qualification."

"Is that why you've been so out of it? Charlie's been going nuts about how distant you've been."

Oh… Charlie. I've been so obsessed with my own problems that I didn't even think about my princess. God, I'm just horrible.

"I didn't mean to hurt her." I let my head drop sullenly, "All I kept thinking about was where to find another job that pays. I feel so worthless around her, she's this strong-willed spirit that keeps fighting and… I'm getting drunk and crying like a pile of shit. Why'd she fall for a useless mess like me?"

"Kenny, you need to pull yourself together. Charlie needs you more than you know, so don't call yourself that. Go talk to her and explain everything to her, she'll understand."

"No!" I exclaim, but the look in Kyle's eyes are telling me that he's not letting that happen. "Fuck, I know I gotta but give me some time."

"Fine." He relents but I can still see the rage from me wanting to hide it. Stan notices that and pulls his boyfriend away. I don't want to be here right now. Since my hangover died down some time during our argument, I get up to the kitchen and get a glass of water.

I gulp the water down in one shot as I gather my bearings. I check my phone and I notice a few missed calls from Charlie and Bebe. I know I promised Kyle but I really need to figure out how to tell her that, so I decide to call up Bebe first. "Hey Bebe."

"Oh good, you're not dead. I'm assuming Stan and Kyle took care of you last night."

"I guess so…" I take a breath before telling her, "So, they know now."

"About the-"

"Yeah." I confirm it as I massage my temple, "They weren't happy that I hid it from them."

"I didn't say anything to them, but Kyle was the smarter one among you boys. I told you that you should've just came clean."

"Maybe. Thanks by the way, for not telling them."

"No problem." She says with a slight smile in her voice before dropping to a more serious tone, "So what now?"

"I don't know but Kyle thinks I should tell tell Karen and Charlie."

"I know you probably won't want to tell Karen but you gotta tell Charlie. She's your girlfriend, she should know."

"I just wanna be perfect for her. She's been through so much and she deserves so much more, both her and Karen. But how could I give them that when I can't even take care of myself?"

"You're overreacting to this, Kenny. You've always done the best you could, believe me." She reassures me, "But I'm with Kyle on this one, miscommunications are a curse in relationships. I don't want you to distance yourself from Karen and Charlie when they just want to help you. I can't let what happened to us happen to you two."

"Now you sound just like Kyle." Fuck, now two of the smartest people I know are telling me to just fess up, if only it's that easy. "I'll get to it, I just need to work up the strength. Fuck, I don't remember anything being this bad since I had to tell Karen that Santa was gonna skip our house again." I say.

But part of me doesn't know if I could do it, could I really look into her sweet brown eyes and tell her that the boyfriend she adores isn't as amazing as she hoped. I can't imagine how she'd react without my own heart breaking.

"Are you gonna tell her too?"

"Maybe, I'll try the next chance I get to talk to her." With that, we say our goodbyes and hang up. I turn around and see Tweek jittering as he stands by the doorway.

"Umm hey, K-Kenny."

"So I'm guessing you heard everything."

"M-more the end part, I g-guess." He looks like he's about to snap from all those nerves, he probably thinks I'm mad at him for eavesdropping.

"Hey, don't go back now Tweek. Sue worked really hard to get you to stop stuttering."

"Y-Yeah." He takes a moment to recompose himself before continuing, "Yeah. Sorry about that."

"It's Ok. So you disappointed in me too?" I ask, ashamed.

"No. I just wish I could help more." He answers earnestly, "Kenny, you and Kyle did so much for me to help me with my anxiety. Maybe I can ask the manager to give you more hours at Harbucks-"

"Don't even think about it." I stop him before he finishes that sentence. "You need the job too."

"I have my scholarships and I can ask for my parents to cover for me until I find another job."

"You're not Kyle, Tweek. Your scholarships don't cover enough and don't you remember why you didn't want your family to pay for you? You said you wanted to prove that you'd finish school on your own. Besides, working there gives you experience you needed."

"For fuck's sake Kenny! Stop being so stubborn!" He shouts and I reel in shock. Tweek doesn't swear much, compared to me or Kyle he'd be considered a saint.

So hearing him say that just crushes the last remains of my pride and I feel more vulnerable than I'd felt in a long while, "I can't help it, buddy. It's in my nature."

"So there you two are." I hear Stan walking into the kitchen.

"Hey Stan. Where's Kyle?" I ask him.

"He's on the phone with his mom. I figured it's best if he wasn't in the house for that, who'd have thought that redheads were such firecrackers." He says that but I can see a glow of endearment in his eyes.

"He's a little ball of fury, all right." I laugh behind our Jewish friend's back, "That temper of his got us into more trouble than it's worth, but he wouldn't be Kyle if he didn't have Shelia Broflovski's short fuse."

Almost like magic, Kyle shows up and bumps into us, "Oh good, you're all here. Because I have some riveting news from my Ma." He rolls his eyes and says in the most sarcastic tone I've heard him use.

"What's she planning this time?" I ask, prepared for the worse.

"Well you'll get to see Karen soon enough. They're coming to visit us and she wants to have dinner at the house."

* * *

**Stan's POV**

I drive up to the hospital that Dr. Nixon told me about, the one she works in. I'm supposed to meet her in her office. "Hello Stanley." She greets me as I past the receptionist.

"Just call me Stan, Dr. Nixon." I shake her hand in response, following her into her office.

"Then you can call me Francine, like your sister does."

"OK then, uhh… Francine." I stutter awkwardly at the request, "What're we gonna talk about?"

"Let's start with the basics, like your childhood and your life, before moving on to your relationship with your sister. Remember, you can tell me as much as you want and you can tell me when you don't feel like talking about it."

"Ok, things were a little hectic a few days ago but they're calming down a little." I start to remember about the whole Kenny argument and their freakout when they found out that Kyle's family would show up tomorrow. "My life's been crazy since I was taken from South Park, but after living with Kyle, Kenny and Tweek for almost 8 months now and having them back is probably the best thing that happened to me in my fucked up life."

"Why'd you call your own life fucked up?"

"Because it is what it is, my life was a train wreak before I met Kyle again." I pinch the bridge of my nose as the memories of that miserable phase of my life starts replaying in my head. "I was a heavy drinker by the age of 12, my mom was hardly ever home and my sister treated me like her personal punching bag. To this day I still need a shot of whiskey to function, I've reduced it but I hate that I still need it. Kyle caught me drinking it when I first moved in and I lost my shit, I never want him to see me like that again."

I expect a reaction out of her, but she just nods understandingly and jots down on her notepad, "How was your school life in Denver?"

I scrunch up my brows trying to remember it, "It was a blur, up until I got into music. I just did what everyone expected me to do: become a jock, sleep with girls, survive high school. It's weird that the thing that saved me was my guitar, one of the thing I brought with me from South Park."

"Sounds like music really helped you through it."

I smile at her words. In a sense I guess so, it was a huge part of my childhood after all. "It's given me a goal and an outlet. My channel and my friends supporting me with my career really help to want this dream to be a reality."

"Has your sister heard your music?" She suddenly asks and I feel that small smile on my face drop.

"I don't think so… I didn't really play until I got out of rehabilitation center. Shelly didn't talk to me anyways and… I didn't like being out of my room when she was home, I didn't want her to take away the last part of me I had left then." I wring my now sweaty hands together at the memory, Shelly coming home with a slam on the front door and me dodging away from her. I'd try not to be in the same room as her because her violence tendencies got much worse once we moved. I shake the memory out of my head, trying to focus back on the present and on Francine's words.

"Shelly mentioned your alcoholism, apparently it took a toll on everyone."

"I didn't know what happened then, it was all a huge mess in my mind. I only remembered my mom crying and the few times I was sober that year. Kyle told me that he was the one who found me like that and told my mom about my drinking problem. The look on their faces…. I really hurt them. Kyle even ran away from me because of my stupid addiction." I grimace at the thought of poor Kyle finding me that day, the day he told me about it he looks so broken up about it that I don't dare to imagine how Kyle reacted that day.

I soon realize that I've been going on and on about my shitty alcoholism instead of what Francine called me here for. "Sorry, I'm supposed to be talking about Shelly."

"No, no." She shakes her head, letting out an aura of motherly comfort. "While Shelly is my patient, your story and experience matter just as much. I need to know things like this and how you dealt with them so that I can help Shelly see how wrong her perception of the world and you really are."

"Yeah." I let myself relax, suddenly I hear my phone ring and I jump out of my skin. Damn I thought I muted it. "Sorry about that, I gotta take this."

Francine raises an eyebrow, probably at how rude I'm being now but she lets me take the call. "Hey Z, what's up?"

"Hey Stan, I'm just calling to see if you wanna meet under the bridge. Mom and Jeff have been arguing like crazy and I need a moment to out for a while."

"Sure, but I'm a little busy right now so I'll text you when I'm done."

"OK, see you then." I hang up again and I check my phone to make sure it won't ring this time. That's weird… It's already on 'Silent'. Huh, must've been a glitch.

"Who was that?" Francine asks as I sit back down.

"An old friend I met a while back. He wants to meet up."

"Hmm…" She lingers on it a little before moving on, "OK then, let's get back on topic. What was Shelly like in your memories?"

Without another thought, I say the first word that comes to me, "Intimidating. She… she was a monster. She threw a piano on me, set me on fire and beat me up on a daily basis, and that's just when I was in South Park." I recount all the pain she put me through from as early as the age of 8. "It got so much worse after my parent divorced. The only thing that made it better was that I was usually drunk off my ass by the time she kicked my guts out. And this-"

I fidget a little before removing my shirt and showing her the scar on my shoulder, "This was from my 16th birthday. I used to be so self-conscious about it but at some point I stopped caring about it being there… Until Kyle saw it and asked me about it. I felt so exposed to him when he touched it and that was the first time in a long time that I feel like I should hate Shelly for what she did but I just felt numb. I just felt horrible that Kyle had to see it. He looked like he was blaming himself for that…"

"It seems like a lot of your memories about Shelly tend to either be a blur from that alcoholic phase or life-altering events like her attacking you that day."

"I don't hate her anymore, because I think I just don't care about her anymore. The reason I kept her outta jail was because Mom would've been heartbroken and… I know she wants us to be a family again, but I don't know how to let Shelly into my life again, let alone be my big sister."

"What if Shelly'd been willing to make an effort?"

I take a moment to think about that. Shelly and me? Acting like loving siblings? Just the imagery is uncanny to me. "I seriously doubt that, you can try. I don't know what to feel anymore when I just feel nothing when I think about her."

"Ok." She accepts the answer nonetheless and walks me out of the hospital, "Thank you, Stan. This will definitely help, I really hope that you two can get along."

"Maybe." I shrug as I head toward the carpark. I pull out my phone and call Z, "Hey Z, sorry about earlier. I was talking to someone to help Shelly. I'll meet you under the bridge in 10."

"Buy me an extra six pack then. You owe me that much." With that he hangs up. I roll my eyes but I do stop my car at a nearby convenience store to get 3 packs of beer before heading to the park.

I go under the bridge to find Z already there, locking his bike and and kicking the pebbles under his shoes. "Hey Stan, you got the beer?"

I raise the bag I brought with me and I put it on the ground before tossing him a can, "Should I be concerned that I've become a dealer to a minor?"

"You keep asking me that, but I didn't buy the beer I'm holding." He takes a big chug but suddenly coughs and sticks his tongue out in disgust, "Ugh… this shit's nasty. Ever heard of Blue Moon?"

"Make your own damn money and you can do it." I pull a can out of the pack and follow his lead, taking a huge swig, "Sorry if YouTube's Ad revenue ain't enough to cover for a good pack of booze."

"Meh, it'll have to do." He shrugs and he keeps drinking the shitty beer, "So what's up with your sister lately?"

"Well Mom said she went mute lately and Dr. Nixon thinks that she can 'correct' Shelly to be nicer." I scoff, "What a joke, if it's that simple I shoulda done it when I was ten."

"Damn, talk about confidence."

"It's not that I don't want to have hope, but everything I know proves it's hopeless."

"And you once believed that you and Kyle would've never been friends again, now he's spending nights in your bed." He reminds me before mischievously winking at his innuendo.

"Shut up." I blush, "We never went that far, Kyle's way too shy to- Wait, why am I telling you this?"

"Aww, guess I asked too soon. I should've waited for a few more." He chuckles as he reaches for his second drink.

"I swear, you're as bad as Kenny."

"Well I gotta hear something good to lighten up the mood, home's been so shit lately and I don't want to be there when it'll crash and burn." He laughs before the laughter dies out into a tense silence, "My stepdad's never around, Jeff's being such a dick to me and I've never seen my mom cried so much. I don't even know what to do anymore."

"Z…" I try to reach out and comfort him but the alcohol must've let all that pent up rage out.

"I hate that bastard! I hate Jeff! I hate that he made my mom go through this shit! I thought marriage was supposed to make people happy, that the vows were supposed to mean something. ' _I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life._ ' Ha. Bull-fucking-shit. He fucking left us, he quit his job and he lost his stocks. He fucked us all over and left us…" He screams angrily into the space around us before I hear slight sobbing and a few hicks in his breath, "Losing Dad was hard enough, Mom didn't have to go through it again. Why? Why am I so useless? I can't even protect her."

"Zac, stop that." I turn him to face me and my heart aches at the sight before me. A young boy broken over by the family he tries to help protect, so broken over that I see tears pooling around his cyan eyes. I look him in the eye and continue in a comforting tone, "You're not useless. You'll get stronger, you're gonna be her hero, OK? It's a hard time for her and your mom's gonna need you to help hold everything together. You've gotta calm down and step up, they need you."

"OK, OK." Z takes a deep breath before taking the can with his twitchy fingers, "I gotta take it together. Fake it till I make it, right?"

I notice his fingers still in the shape they were before, but I decide not to bring it up tonight, "Uh-huh…"

We say nothing more and keep going and going, I feel my body getting up to buy what feels like my tenth pack of beer but I soon notice that everything's dark. "Oh shit, is the sun gone?" The words come out of my mouth in a drunken slur.

Z's no better off, barely being able to stand without wobbling over, "Aww how long've we been drinking?"

"I lost count after the fourth pack. We've gotta get back." I stand up and fish for the car keys in my pocket, "I'll drive you back, you're too drunk to go home like that."

"Well you ain't gonna drive either. No cops gonna believe that." He giggles absentmindedly, but the small part of my sober mind knows that he's right. My hand still trying to find my keys, but I somehow pull out my phone instead, which give me an idea.

"I'll call Kyle." I announce as I clumsily unlock my phone and hit Kyle's speed dial. As soon as I hear the line go through, my boozed-up mind takes over. "Heyyyy Ky~"

"Jesus, dude." He exasperates, it sounds like I woke him up. "Are you drunk?"

"Nooooooo." I frown at the apparent disapproval in his tone, "I'm not alone, I'm with Z."

I hear him sigh through the phone. "Where are you two?"

"I'm under the bridge." I answer, hoping Kyle'll connect the dots.

"Is it that park near your apartment? Got it. Stay put, Stan. I'll be in there in 10 minutes." I hear him say as I hear fabric rustling around. I smile at the urgency he's showing.

"Mkay, babe."

"Ugh…" He groans at the pet name I know he hates, "I'll let it slide once. See you in a bit."

* * *

**Kyle's POV**

I wake Kenny and Tweek up to help me, there's no way I'd be able to take care of Stan and some drunk kid with him, and drive at the same time. I quickly explain the situation and we get into my car. We soon arrive at the park Stan mentioned but I don't see him yet, or the bridge. "Where are they?" Kenny asks as he looks around with me.

"I don't know, Stan said they were under the bridge that they hang out." I say before spotting a bridge over a large pond. We head over there and I see Stan passed out on a bench and a mountain of beer cans under the bridge. Dear Moses, Stan. How much did you drink?

Kenny and Tweek offers to clean up the mess there while I take care of the bigger 'mess' currently snoozing on the park bench. "Stan." I gently shake him, "Stan, wake up."

"Mmm… Kyle?" He moans as he opens his eyes ever-so-slightly, letting me catch a glimpse of those drowsy sapphire blue eyes.

"Bingo. C'mon, sleepyhead. Let's get you home, you're in for a hell of a hangover in the morning." I pull him upright into a sitting position but he just slumps over to his side and rests his head on my shoulder with no intention of getting up, on his own at least.

"Ky, where's Z?" He asks groggily.

"Z?" Oh yeah, that kid who hangs out with a lot. Stan said he was here too. I look around before getting up and letting him lean on the backrest of the bench. "Wait here, I'll look for him."

He nods and I start looking for a young boy. But after a quick search around the area, I don't see the signs of anyone else here now besides us. I go back to him and let him know, "Stan, I don't think he's here."

"But he was just here…" He looks around confused and worried before huffing and crossing his arms like a petulant child, "Fucking kid, I told him not to bike home drunk."

I sigh at his immature gesture but I get why he's so worried now. "You can try and call him once you sober up." I pull him off the bench, letting his lean on me while I struggle to keep the two of us balanced "Ok, up we go."

"Kyle… I don't know what to do. He's hurting." He says, distraught.

"Shh… Stan, you're too drunk right now. We'll talk about it later, Ok?" I pet his head and murmur to him gently. I can't focus on getting him to the car like this and being a good listener for his problems.

But Stan seems to have taken it the wrong way. He frowns and asks, "Are you mad at me?"

"What?" I look at him in confusion, "No, I'm not mad."

Stan doesn't seem convinced, "You're not smiling. I like it when you smile, your eyes shine and you look so cute."

I blush at his drunken adoration. Goddammit even when he's drunk he knows how to turn me red. "Shut up, you dick"

We make it to the car and using one hand to fish out my keys take a little more time, but I manage to unlock the car and lightly sit him up in the back seat.

"No one's smiled around me for a while now." He sounds even sadder as he continues, "My mom, Shelly, Z, even you."

"I'm not upset." I lift his face up to let him see the small smile on my face himself, "See?"

That seems to work as he sighs contently, snuggling against my chest like a little puppy, "Mhmm, I love you, Kyle."

My eyes widen once those three words reach my ears. Did he just say he loves me? I know he's drunk but did he mean it? Should I say it back? "I…" I open my mouth to try and say it back, but I couldn't make the words come out. "I know, Stan." I respond pathetically, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

I leave him to rest in the car as I go out to find the others. They're still under the bridge, almost done with cleaning up all the cans there. I go over and help them with what little there is left. "Thanks for helping me, guys." I thank them as I take the bag of cans sitting on the side to the trash.

I guess that happened earlier is clear as day on my face, since Kenny just looks at me and asks, "What's wrong, Kyle?"

"Nothing, just worried about him."

"OK, when you wanna talk, you know where to look." He pats me on the back. I'm kinda grateful he's not making me tell him, I'm regretting being so harsh on him when I asked him about his unemployment that day now.

"Thanks. I just hope he'll be fine by the time my parents visit."

"God, you make it sound like you're introducing him to your parents for the first time." Tweek remarks.

"Yeah, it's not like you two were practically married since the day you met." Kenny joins in, laughing at my anxiety.

"Ha ha." I roll my eyes at my friends' reactions, "I can't help it. You know my Ma, she means well but she'd strap Stan to an electric chair to interrogate him."

"She wouldn't do that, Stan's probably the only person who'd put up with you." Kenny once again informs me.

"Again, funny." I deadpan. "Maybe that's your calling in life."

"Comedian? Meh, if Adam Sandler's a comedian after all those shit movies, maybe I should try." He strokes his chin laughing before calming down to continue, "Kyle, you and Stan work perfectly together. I've never seen you happier than after Stan showed up again, and I'm sure he'll say the same. It's cheesy as hell but you two just work."

"We make life bearable for each other." I smile at the thought, only to let it drop once I remember what happened earlier, "I still haven't gotten over my problems, he just told me he loved me and I didn't even say it back."

"Well it's not like it's gonna matter since he's drunk, he probably won't even remember it in the morning." Tweek says.

"Yeah, but what if he says it again and means it? It's bad enough that my problem's stopping me from properly enjoying my relationship with Stan, but now I can't even say 'I love you' to him yet."

To cut off my rambling, Kenny comes up next to me and tosses his arm over my shoulder, "My dear Kyle, no one's forcing you to  _profess thy loveth to him_. Now at least." He says with a fake Shakespearian voice that makes me want to laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of it and punch him for mocking me like that.

I slap his arm off of me and glare at him playfully, "Man, if blood stains weren't that bad to get rid of…"

We quickly finish up the work before heading back with Stan sound asleep in the backseat and me watching over him. He keeps trying to get closer to me and somehow manages to rest his head onto my lap. The three of us manage to get him into his room before they head back to their own rooms, leaving me alone with my sleeping boyfriend. As I get up from the side of the bed, he starts to groan and wince. I think he's having a bad dream, because he starts jittering and sweating. I lightly hold his hand and whisper repeatedly to him, "It's OK, Stan. It's just a dream."

He starts calming down as my thumb strokes his knuckles, only now do I notice how badly they're twitching and spazzing about. I take a bold move and kiss his knuckles before placing another kiss on his forehead. He smiles again and he seems a lot more relaxed, I feel better about it but now I'm not sure if I should leave his side. At some point, my body feels too heavy and I drift off the sleep.

"Hey son, how've you been?" My dad greets me with the rest of my family behind him.

"Pretty good, Dad. Hey Ma." I let them in and greet them each with a hug.

"Hello bubbi, you look thinner, have you been sleeping alright? You look exhausted"

I yawn a little as I remember why. Waking up that morning showed me that it was a terrible idea sleeping like that, because my wakeup call comes in the form of a sore neck and an aching back. But I wake up in time to help get everything ready in time for my family to arrive. "I'm fine. Don't worry."

"OK then. It's wonderful to see all of you boys again, especially you Stanley." She lets me go and turns to Kenny and Stan, Tweek is in the kitchen preparing the food for our dinner. Hearing her address Stan like that sends shivers down my spine. God, I hope he'll make it out of tonight alive.

"Didn't you say there were a few more of your friends joining us tonight?" Dad asks.

"Yeah, Sue has some last-minute work to do and she offered to be Charlie's ride so they'll be a little late."

"Alright then, how about you give us a tour of the house, Stanley?" Ma asks. I cast Stan an apologetic gaze to which he smiles in response.

"Umm sure." He puts on a charming smile and leads my parents throughout the house.

"Mom's going to fucking destroy him." I hear Ike say from behind me.

"Thanks for the obvious, Ike." I groan, much to his chagrin

"Ahem." With that, Ike's smug smile suddenly drops and his face pales as he turns to face Kenny.

"Oh- err, hey Kenny."

"Yeah, hey." Kenny replies with a stern look.

"Kenny, don't be mean." Karen scolds him.

"I can't help it, you're my baby sister and it's my job to be your guardian angel. Remember?"

"I know, and you'll always be my guardian angel. But Ike's been helping me out too." She simpers by Ike's side.

I pull Kenny off to the side and ask, "So do you want to tell them tonight?"

"Might as well, seeing how both of them will be here."

"Just rip the bandage off, it'll be over faster that way." I advise him. Suddenly I hear the door knocking, which must be Charlie and Sue. I inform everyone as I get the door, "I got it."

I open the door and I take one good look at them before I stilt at the sight before me, "Hey girls- Oh Jesus Christ! Charlotte, what the fuck are you wearing?" Sue's dress fine, with light blue jeans and a jacket that reminds me of the one she wore when we first met, but Charlie's a whole different story. She's wear a tight and revealing purple dress that looks like something for strip show than for a dinner party, she's also wearing some stilettos and her braided black hair rests on her left shoulder. She came to meet my family… dressed like that?!

"Let me alone." She crosses her arms defiantly.

"Believe me, both me and her aunt tried." Sue sighs dejected at her friend's behavior.

"Are you kidding me?" I cry out. "My fucking family's in there, you can't just wear this!"

"Well this is my last-ditched effort to get Kenny to love me again."

"Charlie, I-" I look at her and I see someone unstable, this isn't the sweet and level-headed Charlie Baxton I knew, this is someone driven to the wall by her own thoughts. I sigh but say, "You just need to talk to Kenny. He'll explain everything."

"He better." She scoffs as I let them in.

"I'll try and keep her tamed, Red."

"Thanks Sue." I take a breath, trying to keep everything together before saying to everyone, "Well, everyone's here. Should we get to dinner?"

Everyone starts heading for the dining room and they all notice that Charlie's outfit and their reaction ranges from surprised to confused, especially Kenny's. Stan takes the seat next to me and whispers, "Dude, what the hell is she wearing?"

"Every reason why I want Kenny to just tell her about what happened."

We say nothing more as we dig into the food Tweek prepared. Tweek isn't much of a talker but he does love seeing people enjoy his food, even if he doesn't accept the compliments.

"So, Stanley. How're you and Kyle getting along?" My Ma asks.

"Great actually, Mrs. Broflovski. I didn't think I'd see him again in Boulder but I'm really glad I did."

"Oh, no need to be so formal." She chuckles at his answer, probably giddy at the fact that I have my first boyfriend, "And I'm sure Kyle's lucky to have you too, he hasn't had dated since high school."

"Ma!" I exclaim in embarrassment, even though everyone at the table already knows that.

"So." Ike cuts in, saving me from dying from shame. "Mom, have you met some of Kyle's other friends? The one with blue hair and silver eyes is Sue and the other one is-"

"Oh yes, I've heard about you dear." Ma turns to Charlie, "You're Charlotte, right?"

"Yeah, Charlotte Baxton. It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Broflovski. Your son really helped me out when I needed it."

"My bubbi is a wonderful boy, too bad he isn't into women otherwise I think you'd be a fine match for him too." I choke on my food as she says that. What's she thinking?

"Umm… I'm already with someone." She scratches her head awkwardly as she glances over at Kenny who looks just as perplexed. "But thanks, I guess."

"I've heard about your case, Charlotte." Dad says, "Kyle asked me about it and I'm glad that things ended for the better."

Something my dad said must've triggered her because she goes completely still and answers with a soft, fragile voice, "With all due respects, Mr. Broflovski. It doesn't feel that way." She stands up from the table, "I need to be excused for a while."

We watch her leave in silence. I kick Kenny's leg and just mouth to him, "Go." He nods and takes off after his girlfriend.

After the two of them leave, Sue speaks up to lighten the mood again. "So… your mom calls you bubbi?" She asks me.

Ma perks up at the question and answers delightfully, "Oh yes, it's a name I called him when he was just a toddler. It made him laugh all the time."

"That's cute, should I start calling you that instead of Red?" She winks playfully.

"Don't even think about it." I warn her.

"Aww, but Kyle." Stan coos, "It definitely sounds a lot better than 'baby'?"

I look up at him and shout in shock and repulsion, "Oh hell no, dude! My Ma calls me that." Everyone laughs at my reaction, irking me as I slouch down my chair. Stan wraps his arm around me and gives me a quick peck on my temple, surprising me since my family's right there in front of us.

Suddenly the house echoes with Charlie's screams, as she marches to the front door. "Shut up! I can't believe you."

"Charlotte, just listen to me." Kenny trails after her, trying to explain.

Charlie spins around to face Kenny and glares at him. "No! How can you be so selfish? Everyone always decides what's best for me, why don't I get a fucking say at this?!" With that, she walks out the door and slams it on her way out.

All of us are left in shock. I've never seen Charlie so mad, even during the trial case against her dad and family. Sue runs out after Charlie while I walk up to Kenny's frozen figure and demand answers, "What the fuck did you do?!"

"I… I told her, and then I broke up with her."

"What?!" We shout in disbelief.

"Wait, what's going on?" Karen asks, "Kenny, you loved her!"

"I do, but I can't give her what she needs."

"Oh bullshit, don't you pull that shit on me, Kenny McCormick." Karen suddenly explodes.

"Karen?" Kenny looks at her, completely taken aback by her outburst.

"You're the best brother I could ever ask for but I hate how you can be sometimes, you put up a fake smile and take everything in silence. I hate that, I hate that you don't trust us enough to help you."

"It's not that!"

"Then what is it?" She pushes on.

"I'm supposed to take care of you, both you and Charlie mean so much to me. I just want you two to be happy." Kenny explains, trying to defend his actions.

"So why'd you think breaking her heart was making her happy?"

"Because-" Kenny starts but Karen immediately cuts him off.

"Don't you dare say you think she could do better. Because then she's right, you're selfish. You're selfish enough to not care about what she thinks to feed your own insecurities." Soon the rage in her eyes die down, leaving nothing but a pained and crush look in those sky blue eyes. "That's not the big brother I know."

What Karen said must've struck a chord with him. He just sits down on the couch with his hands over his face, "What've I done?"

I turn to my parents and apologize to them, "Sorry about tonight but I think it's better if you guys leave for now. I'll meet up with you guys for breakfast before you go home."

They nod in agreement, Ike approaches his girlfriend and asks, "Karen, do you wanna stay?"

"Could you, Karen?" Kenny asks with a bit of distress in his tone, "I-I have a lot of things to talk to you about."

She nods at Kenny's request and kisses Ike goodbye, "I'll see you back at the hotel, Ike."

Everyone else leaves the house, leaving me, Stan and Tweek to lament over what just happened. "What a mess, dude." I sigh as we clean the house up.

"We'll try talking to Kenny and Charlie tomorrow after meeting up with your folks."

"I was hoping tonight would turn out better, that we'd knock off two problems in one night. But I think I made things worse. Some fucking help I turned out to be."

"You couldn't have known how Kenny handled it, I didn't think it was bugging him so much that he'd break up with her over that."

"I should've… I'm a psychiatrist. I should know, right?"

"Kyle, you said it yourself. You're a psychiatrist, not a psychic. You couldn't have known."

"Maybe." I sigh for what feels like the twentieth time tonight.

"Well, on a scale of one to ten, what do you think your parents think of me?" He jokes, trying to cheer me up. And I have to say it's kinda working.

"They probably want you to marry me on the spot."

He looks at me in mock shock, as he pulls me into an embrace, "Woah there, why don't we take it slow?"

"You're such a dork." I roll my eyes but let myself be coddled, "Thanks by the way, how do you do that?"

"What can I say? I'm your style, I just understand you." He kisses the top of my temple as he rest his chin on the top of my green ushanka. Just like that, he shelters me from the pain around us. I know what we have to do and I know that we have to be there for Kenny and Charlie. But tonight, I decide to selfishly shut out the rest of the world and just wonder how Stan manages to keep me sane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the point where the drama part of this story really starts kicking in. Hope you guys are ready because it's not gonna slow down until we reach the end.
> 
> I'm not gonna lie, this chapter is hard. Not just because it's long but because I had to make changes and rewrites to so many parts. One of the concerns I have for this story is that it'll turn into an angst story, that's not what the original drama was. Despite all the issues they talk about, at it's core it's a romantic comedy. So keep that in mind.
> 
> I have received a comment about Charlie's character and I want to address some of the points they made. First of all is Charlie's treatment and body. I would like to state that I never suggested that Charlie underwent any kind of treatment in the earlier chapters, because of her family's reactions to her transgender identity. She only started hormone treatments recently after living with her aunt Francine, who has the financial capability to fund it.  
> As for her looks, I always envision Charlie as a feminine looking boy. You know how some anime characters who are established to be boys can still look like girls, intentionally or unintentionally. That was how I see her. Plus, she's still 16 and she's still going through puberty so changes in her body are still going.  
> Lastly, the aspect of her abuse backstory. Anyone who has seen the drama itself would know that Charlie is based on a patient in one of the earlier episodes, a young man who underwent a sex change to become a woman and because of that, she was constantly getting beaten up by her family. I was mainly following the story of that patient and expanded upon it to make her into her own character.
> 
> It is true that I do not truly know what transgender people go through and I know my representations aren't perfect, but I am trying with the amount of research I do for Charlie and I have taken your criticism to heart. It's too late for me to change Charlie's entire character halfway into the story and I'm sorry if I offended you.
> 
> That's all for now, as always feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS. Please let me know what you think, reviews and comments make my day.
> 
> Take care, Loves. c:


	39. Nice Guys Finish Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny and Charlie are still hurting from their fallout, causing a rippling effect on their friends. Drama ensues while Stan and Kyle are just trying to keep everything together.

**Shelly's POV**

I hear a light knocking on the door and I see Mom's head through the doorframe for the tenth time today. "Shelly, dinner's ready." She says. I nod silently and leave my room. She has been popping in every now and then, I haven't spent much time outside of my room, I don't know why but everything just feels pointless after that night. I rub my sore eyes, I probably have black bags underneath them. Even though I've been lying in bed, it feels like I haven't slept in weeks since Francine told me…

_Second chances are short of supply. Use it wisely._

I walk out into the room, letting my body carry me to the dining room while I keep thinking about it in my head. A second chance… What would I do with something like that? What do I want to do with it? I always compared myself to that turd and I've practically devoted my life to beat him and put him in his place. But I never really thought about what that means, if he's dead then I can never truly surpass him. He'll always be remembered and I'd be painted in red for killing their 'idol'. I can't take him out, so what? I'm just destined to be overshadowed by him?

No. I'm not gonna let that happen.

I just need to figure out my next move.

In my thoughtful trance, I knock into something near the staircase. I snap out of it and focus on the thing I bumped into. I notice that it's Francine with Mom by her side, "I asked Francine to join us tonight, is that OK?"

Now she asks me? Thanks, Mom. Shows how much you care about my fucking opinion. I don't say any of that and just nod.

"Hello, Shelly." Francine greets me, but I do nothing but acknowledge it and sit on the couch in the living room.

"She still not talking much then." I hear her talk to Mom.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice her forlorn frown as she sighs, "No, I don't know how to help her."

You know, I'm still here and I can hear everything, Mom.

I turn around, facing forward again when I notice Francine looking over at me. She asks, "Sharon, can you give us a moment?" A moment of silence pass before I hear Mom's footsteps going into the kitchen and I see Francine talking a seat on the couch, "Shelly, I've talked to your brother and I've learned some interesting things. We've talked and the thing is that he just claims his life's fucked up. He didn't say his life is perfect, far from it. But I can see he sees what you're jealous of, but I don't think he understands why you're jealous."

"Of course he wouldn't understand." I scoff, turning my body away from her.

"What do you mean?"

"Someone who has things just  _work out_  in his favor wouldn't understand it."

"Well his alcoholism didn't work out in his favor." She reminds me.

"Yes it did! At the end, he still got what he wanted. Mom gave him all the time of day and took care of him, his 'best friend' came back for him. And look where he is now!" I scowl, "No matter what he did or what goes wrong, he gets his happy ending. He drove us out of South Park, but he's the one who still has his friends with him; He nearly drank his life away and that stressed the hell out of mom, but he's the one with a bright shiny future and endless love. He had the audacity to act like he's lost and hopeless when he's gotten nothing but praise and adoration. He even has a fucking boyfriend and no one said anything about it. He's the only one who'll get a perfect ending no matter what he does."

"Is that what you think?" She asks me sharply, "You know the story of Cinderella, people don't get 'happily ever after's without sacrifice and suffering. Can you name one moment where he didn't have to deal with hardship?" I nearly laugh at her air quotes, if the turd isn't happy enough.

"How about now?" I retort, cringing inwardly about how childish I sound right now.

"Your brother is lucky, I agree." Good, at least she acknowledges that. "But even he's not as happy-go-lucky as you think. Even if it's not as strong, his alcoholism still controls him. He's trying to fight against those chains. He's still working for his success, he took a chance and waited for his love to be returned. Nothing was given to him without patient, risk, and effort."

I open my mouth to argue but Mom interrupts us for dinner. With that, I clamp my mouth shut and head towards the dining table. I pick at the baked fish and potatoes on my plate while Mom talks to Francine, daring a glance to check on me every now and then. I feel like I should be mad at her still for doing this to protect her son, but… he's not here. She doesn't need to act like a concerned parent, what if she actually is worried about me?

Well, even if she is, she's too late. Who does she think she is, deciding when to love her children? It doesn't matter because she still chose Stan first. I'm still second rate to that twerp.

Nothing's changed. Who cares what that wannabe doctor said?

After we finish dinner, Mom asks me to show Francine out. Before she leaves, she turns to me and says, "Remember Shelly, not everything is rewarded and not everyone could be as lucky as Stanley. But nothing'll happen if you don't even try." She smiles as she walks out the front door, "My door is always open, Shelly. When you're ready to take the first step, come see me."

I close the door, once again thinking back to tonight. I honestly feel bad for her at times, she keeps treating me like a puppy who needs to be lived, but what if that puppy keeps running into the street? I don't deserve that kind of patience. She should've just let me go, like Stan and Mom.

I begin walking towards the staircase, prepared to shut myself from the world again. Suddenly my gaze turns to the kitchen, I see Mom slaving away at the dishes, using every last ounce of her depleting energy to scrub the grease from the pan. I start noticing things I never cared enough to pay attention to, like how her back is hunched over like it's been sore for years, or how I'm noticing strands of her brown hair turning grey, or how lonely this image I'm seeing is. I've been in prison and pushing everyone away while Stan's out there. She was once one of the beauties of South Park, men at her work probably clambered over her but yet she's still alone, cleaning the dishes.

_But nothing'll happen if you don't even try_

Well, time to put it to the test. Without giving my brain a chance to reason, I walk into the kitchen and start washing the plates in the sink when Mom steps away from the sink to put the pan away. She looks at me in shock, before that shock turns into happiness and endearment. I say nothing, struggling to get this stubborn stain off.

"Here, Shelly. Try doing it like this." Mom says as she takes the sponge from my hand and, like magic, gets the stain off the white porcelain plate. She smiles as she hands it back to me, drying the dishes I wash.

I still don't know if what I'm doing is right, my brain definitely disagrees. But the smile on Mom's face convinces me to stop listening to it for once.

* * *

**Stan's POV**

"Cut!" I winch as I hear Cartman's sudden screams through the booth, "What the fuck, Stan!"

I take off my headphones and roll my eyes as I mutter a half-assed apology, "Sorry."

Cartman rubs at his furrowed brows and he oh-so-kindly reminds me, "Stanley, I paid good money for this studio so you can record your songs for those fucking producers so get your head outta your ass and put in some goddammit effort."

Sue, who's standing right behind Cartman, gives him a good slap on the back of the fatass's head, "Good money? I charged you 27 bucks to use this for the whole day."

Cartman growls but he knows it's true. We don't have a lot of budget left and when Sue offered me the option of using one of the radio booths as a recording booth for a pretty cheap price, Cartman jumped it like a second serving of dessert.

"Shut up, bitch." He growls to preserve his pride, only to cower when he sees the furious glare in her silver grey eyes. I snicker at the sight before me. Only Sue could make one of the most sadistic boy in South Park submit with one look.

He bite his lips and relents, "Fine, I take back the bitch comment." He then turns to me and starts yelling again, "But sing like you mean it, man! Those producer want something by the end of the month."

"Let me talk to him." Sue says before hitting the Mute button and walking into the booth. "So rookie, I'm assuming you're still sour over what happened at the dinner."

"I just don't know how to help Kenny. Even after Karen's speech, he's still convinced that he's gotta be good enough for her to get her back. Kyle has been furious at Kenny since."

_"_ _What." I tense as I hear the anger dripping from Kyle's voice, the poor spoon in his hand looks like it's about to bend, "I thought Karen set you straight last night."_

_"_ _Yeah, I know I'm being selfish when I broke up with Charlie. But what's done is done, she probably hates my guts now, if I could die she'd probably be the first one with the knife." Kenny shrugs, trying to sound nonchalant about it, but Tweek and I can see the guilt and fear in his eyes, "So I might as well do what I promised, either way I'm not gonna be worth standing by her if she's the one taking care of me."_

_"_ _You fucking kidding me?!"Kyle yells, slamming his hands onto the table and disrupting the breakfast on it, before getting up and grabbing his book bag at the door, "I'm done, talk to me when you got all this macho pride shit outta your ass."_

That was a few days ago, Kyle still refuses to talk to Kenny and Kenny certainly isn't in a rush to fix things. I've had to pull Kyle away from beating the shit out of Kenny so many times that even I'm starting to wish Kenny would just get over it.

God, I really need to stop thinking like Kyle.

I snap out of my thoughts as Sue leans against the wall behind her, "Charlie didn't say a word after I found her that night. All she did was cry and cry. I had to bring her home before she dehydrated."

Hearing that strong kid get so torn apart, it feels worse than seeing her in bruises and sleeping on a cold metal bench.

Sue seems to notice this and reassures me, "Well hopefully we can get them to talk at least, they probably won't wreak my party. Kate and the crew worked so hard on it."

"I don't know if they'll even show up now."

"Well then, make them show up. Nothing'll be solved if they stay apart moping." Sue says, pacing around the small booth to think of a plan, "Charlie probably won't shut out Kyle so Kyle and I'll work on Charlie, You and Tweek get Kenny to meet us there."

I nod, that makes sense. "OK. Everything's just so tense now. Like the calm before the storm, you know?"

"I get what you mean. Just try and keep your mind off of it, like umm," She ponders for a moment before asking, "What's your plan for the summer?"

My mind seems glad for the topic change because I start spewing out everything "I think Kyle's gonna be taking a few course in the summer but I've been planning on-" I immediately cover my mouth with my hand to stop myself when I realize I'm about to spill my entire surprise that I've been keeping to myself for weeks now. "-something… so I'll probably be working until then to save up the money."

Despite not getting everything out of me, Sue still seems delighted by my confession. "Man, Red's one lucky kid."

"I intend to keep it that way." I promise before nearly begging her to reveal anything to Kyle, "Please don't tell him I have something planned. I wanna surprise him."

Sue mock-zips her lips and promises me, "These lips are sealed."

"Yo, Stan. You ready to start again?" I roll my eyes again at Cartman's whiny tones, but talking to Sue does help. I feel a little lighter now. Sue casts me a look of concern but I smile to let her know I'm good. She reads me and returns the gesture as she exits the booth.

I grab my guitar, that's resting on the side, and put my headphones, giving the two a thumbs up, "All set, Cartman."

"Kenny… It's been two weeks by now. You still haven't told us." I tap my foot impatiently as Kenny eats from day-old cereal he found in the fridge. How it was there or whether it's safe to eat are beyond me.

I look around for support, but Tweek's busy baking something with so many strawberries I swear he must've robbed a farm. Kyle's probably in his room with his homework but I doubt he's up to talk to Kenny now. I groan at the situation I'm in. Sue's party is in a few days and I've been prodding Kenny for an answer since the day I got back from recording. All I need is for him to come, even if it doesn't fix things between those two. Watching him like this is infuriating enough, he's gotta get his life back on track.

"Look, I'm too busy working that day, OK?" He deadpans before deciding his soggy cereal deserves more attention than what I'm trying to do for him now.

"You can miss one night shift at a gas station. C'mon, I thought you loved to drink and have fun."

"Yeah, I love going out and having fun with my friends and girlfriend." He swirls the spoon in his hand around like a ruler, "Problem is one of those friends is furious at me and my girlfriend just got an 'ex' attached to the title."

"Kenny, you know Kyle doesn't mean it. He's just upset." Tweek comforts him as he puts his creation into the fridge.

"I know, and why shouldn't he be?" Kenny groans as he just drops his head onto the table, "I know I'm wrong but I can't bring myself to face my princess."

"If you won't do it for that, do it for me. Sue's friend, Kate told me that this is a great chance for me so I think I might do it." Tweek mentions, leaving me and Kenny with eyes wide as dinner plates.

"Really?" Kenny asks with pride. I'm just in shock that Tweek's actually gonna do it, not that I thought he wouldn't but damn.

"Y-Yeah and I could really use the support" He looks Kenny right as he says, "from all my friends."

Kenny falters a bit before nodding, "All right, Tweekers. I'll be there, you better have that girl hanging off your arm by the time we leave that party." He playfully punches Tweek on the shoulder and I'm starting to see parts of the old Kenny back.

"Great. See you on Saturday." I leave Kenny and Tweek be as I hop upstairs to let Kyle know, "OK, Kyle. Tweek and I managed to get Kenny to come. Now all we need is Charlie and they can finally talk it out."

"I won't count on it." He scoffs, not taking those green eyes away from his laptop

I walk up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling him out of his seat, "Kyle, have some sympathy." I whisper behind his ear.

"He doesn't deserve it." He stresses as he turns around, turning our back hug into an embrace, "That dinner was a chance for both of them to talk like adults and  _he_  had to go the lone hero route and break her heart. Charlie can't take that with the way she is now."

"I know, but his heart's in the right place. You have your issues with your anxiety, you should know that you can't make those thoughts stop." I remind him. Hell, even I have that problem.

"That's not the same! I try to deal with my anxiety without hurting anyone else. That's… why we took so long to get together, remember?" He defends himself strongly before his voice softens near the end.

"Yeah, I remember." I reply, and those few weeks were the most agonizing moments of my life.

"I'm sorry, by the way, for making you wait like that. I've been working on it." He reaches for the sides of my face and pulls me into a deep kiss. Too shocked and immersed in pleasure to care, I let my redhead take control. It feels like an eternal before he breaks the kiss, he guides one of my hands to his neck and bubbles with pride, "See? I'm not shaking or sweating anymore."

I notice that and I can't help but feel proud about his accomplishment. But I know what he was trying where he's going with this. "Kyle…"

"My point is I want to get over my issues so I can be with you, so I keep trying." Kyle starts ranting, and really I rather not have to deal with that today. Better give something else for those lips to do. "Kenny has to do the same. I'm not saying it's easy but-" He cuts his rant off with a surprised squeal as I dip my boyfriend almost comically.

"I get what you mean." I answer as he looks up at me with a heavy blush covering his whole face and those green emeralds. Man, I could lose myself just staring at them. Without breaking eye contact, I capture those lips with mine and we start kissing much heavier than we did the first time, leaving the two of us breathless by the time I pull us up. "By the way, I'm so glad I get to do this whenever I want now." I smirk as I lean in for another one.

"Slow down there, Romeo." Kyle stops me with his hand in front of my face and an amused smile, "If I had to guess, I'm probably at the 60% mark. I'm not quite ready for  _that_  yet. Besides, I'm not that big of PDA."

"Fine with me." I smile mischievously. After I lock the door and close the curtains, I slowly walk back to Kyle, gently leading him to my bed. My hands restlessly roams beneath his shirt and I start peppering light pecks at his neck, "But now that we're  _alone_ , I'm gonna enjoy this." I grin against his neck before I devote the rest of my night to the boy in my bed.

* * *

**Kyle's POV**

"Hey Sue." I greet her as I get into her car. Now that Stan and Tweek took care of one of them, it's up to us to settle the other one. Since our classes end at the same time, she offered to drive us there and drop me off back home afterwards.

"Sup, Red?" She greets me from the driver seat, "You ready to do this?"

"I guess. I just hope she'll listen."

"She's gotta calmed down by now, it's been two weeks." Sue assures me with optimism and determination, "How's Kenny doing?"

"Who cares?" I cross my arms irritably at his name, "He's not the one going to Charlie's house right now."

"Kyle, that's not really fair to Kenny."

"I know. I know, Stan told me that too."

"Did he also leave those marks there to remind of that 'talk'?"

"What?" I exclaim as I pull down the razor and look in the small mirror there, finally seeing what I dread to see, my bare neck and Stan's little 'love marks' decorated all over my neck in plain view. "Aww shit…" I facepalm myself so hard.

I can't believe I didn't notice that my shelf was missing, I rushed out of the house that morning with only that scarf as my coverup. I must've lost it somewhere and I went through all my classes looking like this.

"Here, Kate left her makeup kit in the back of my car." She offers while she not-so-subtly laughs at my embarrassment. "See if you can find something to cover that up."

I reach to the back to find the case and open it up. "Thanks." I mumble as I look through for something to hide the marks but it's hard to tell what'll work when my face is still red from shame.

"So what's it like?"

"Huh?"

"You know, dating Stan? You two haven't said much about your relationship and Kate couldn't even get much outta Stan." The car stops at a red light and she takes the opportunity to find a concealer for me. "I know Stan hasn't publicized his relationship with you but I know a ton of girls are gonna be jealous of you." She winks as she tosses the concealer into my hands and starts driving once the light changes again.

"Well, he's just amazing." I praise as I apply the makeup over the bruises, "He's confident but so damn corny. He's gentle and patient but he can be pretty aggressive and overprotective."

"Must've been pretty aggressive to leave those on your neck."

"But the best part is that he can be so imperfect too." I can't help but smile at the thought of him, "He spaces a lot and stutters like a kid caught doing something he shouldn't. He stops being this perfect icon for girls to drool over and he turns back to that dorky 10 year old I called my super best friend."

"Wow, that's the kind of love people write and dream about." Sue sighs in an over-the-top fashion that makes the both of us laugh and the cars next to us look over at us like complete morons.

"I used to envy couples like that. Butters and Charlotte, Kenny and Charlie." I admit, "They had problems but they tried to make the best of it and help each other, together."

"You always mention about Charlie's problem but you never said what that really is."

"It's not my place to say it, all I can say is that she's really depressed and I'm not sure what'll happen if she keeps going down that road."

She nods in understanding and doesn't probe me for more information, we soon arrive at the Nixon residence and we knock on the door.

Dr. Nixon opens the door, seemingly surprised at our presence but glad nonetheless. "Hello, Dr. Nixon." I greet my mentor.

"Hello, Kyle, Sue. I'm guessing you're here for Charlie." She greets us. We nod and she lets us into the house, "She's been in her room since you brought her home that night. I couldn't even get her to talk to me."

"Thanks, we're gonna try and set things right." With that we walk up to Charlie's room and knock on the door. After hearing a muffled 'Come in', we enter to see a dimly lit room with dresses and pillows sprawled all over the floor, Charlie is sitting on her bed with her head resting on her knees as she seems to stare aimlessly at something in front of her.

"Hey, Charlie." I enter the room cautiously.

She tears her gaze away from whatever it was and gives us a smile like one you'd see on a wax statue, carved and lifeless. "Hi, guys."

It hurts me to see her like this. Her hair, which was in a braid, now looks like a raggedy worn out rope and her sweet chocolate eyes look as lifeless like mud after a rainstorm. She looks terrible and seeing her like this makes me even madder at Kenny.

Despite that, I suck it up and force a smile like she is, "How've you been?"

"Better, I guess." She shrugs before asking, "How's Kenny?"

Again, hearing her care about the son of a bitch that hurt her like that just sets me off. "After all that, you still care-" I almost let my short-temper get the better of me before Sue puts her hand on my shoulder, stopping me from blowing up, so I just bite my tongue and tell Charlie what she wants to know. "He's been a zombie, half the time I doubt he's even there when I'm yelling at him. He just keeps apologizing but he won't do shit until he's convinced he can take care of you again."

"That sweet fool." She smiles sadly, shaking her head. "He doesn't need to do that, I'm not worth it."

"Charlie, don't you give up too." Sue encourages her, "You want to be with Kenny, right?"

"Of course, I love him. But this did give me a chance to think about it, maybe things happened for a reason. As much as I love him, maybe we just weren't meant to be?"

"What is this? Romeo and Juliet?" I sigh, "Charlie, you fought against you fate multiple times. You don't give into destiny. Why start now?"

"Kyle… Is this what it's like?" Charlie suddenly asks me in a timid tone, "To be scared of the idea of falling in love again?"

That question catches me off guard, Sue looks at me hoping I could take over and give her the encouragement she needs. I take a deep breath before starting, "Charlie. I know it hurts, love definitely takes a lot more than it gives. But when it gives back, you savor those sweet moments. When Vivi broke me, I never wanted to trust someone with myself like that again even though I knew that Vivi was the issue. I knew it but it didn't help my recovery process. I simulated the idea of being in love with someone for so long and I convinced myself that I'd be fine living with my anxiety. But I was making excuses, all I did was fantasize and let myself be jealous when I saw couples looking like their lives were so complete. I almost let my anxiety control my life, I almost let her win." I state grimly, but then I continue with a small smile, "When I actually took a chance with Stan, I've made more progress in a month than I had in over five years. Kenny's a selfish jerk but he'll come around, you can't give up." I reassure her, "You're strong, Charlie. I've known that since the day we met, so keep pushing, and keep growing. Make him regret that he ever thought of letting you go."

"It's funny you keep saying how strong I am, but that night… I wasn't strong. I was ready to give up everything. You saved me. Aunt Francine gave me a home and support. Kenny showed me love. I'm not strong. I didn't do anything, if it were just me I wouldn't even be here."

"No one said you had to do it alone." I remind her.

She returns her gaze back ahead of her and says, "Kyle. Look at that mirror and tell me what you see."

I follow her gaze and tell her what I see, "I see us. Or mainly you."

"Ever since I got home that night, I've looked at that mirror and for the first time in a long time, I didn't recognize the image looking back. The girl I was so happy to find within me, my true self, was replaced by this hollow, prissy doll." She clenches her blanket in her palms in frustration, "That wasn't me, I don't know  _who_  I am anymore."

"You're Charlotte Baxton-" I start before I get cut off by Charlie angry cries.

"And who's that? Tell me that, Kyle. Who am I supposed to be?" She asks forceful as she points to the image in the mirror in disgust, "Because that face in the mirror, that spineless actor who couldn't even stand up for himself,  _he_  should've been long gone by now!" She screams, getting all her emotions out before quieting again into a hollow shell, "I can't believe after all this time, I truly believed I could start over. That I could leave behind what my family did to me." She mumbles into the blanket she pulls up to her face, "I'm too broken to love anyone."

Hearing her say that last part makes my heart stop, suddenly I look over at the figure on the bed and it isn't Charlie anymore. It's me, 13 year old Kyle Broflovski crying over a shattered heart. I realize then that we stand no chance to change her mind.

"Come on, Charlie-" Sue tries again, not willing to admit defeat until I stop her. "Sue. That's enough." She relents and steps behind me, "Take care, Charlie. You're still welcome to come to the party if you feel like it."

We tell Dr. Nixon about our failed attempts, but she just comforts and thanks us for trying. After we get into Sue's car, she interrogates me on the spot. "Kyle, what did you do that for?"

"Believe me, she'll put herself in a really dark place right now. We can't pull her out, but we shouldn't keep egging her." I explain, "I know from experience."

"So what're we going to do?"

"Dr. Nixon will watch over her. We've done with we can for tonight."

We still make a few phone calls but neither of us want to sound too pushy with the way she is now. Sadly, we still couldn't get her to show up by the time the party starts. The four of us get into Stan's car since he's gonna be our driver today, we pull up at Styx and Stones. Not the best place for Kenny to be since they fired him, but Sue's friend, Kate, who apparently works as a bartender there got a good deal to let us use a booth for the party and she didn't really account for any bad associations we might've had for this place.

"Hey girls." I wave as we spot Sue and Kate, "I see Charlie isn't here."

"Kenny's not looking too lively either." Stan adds. Kenny rolls his eyes at us and wanders over to the bar.

"Look, tonight let's just forget about it." Sue puts her arms around the two of us, "It's a party, we'll refresh then re-strategize. I'm gonna ask Kate to watch the drinks for Kenny and I purposely asked the DJ to take a moment off." She informs us.

"You got it?" Stan looks at her in shock, seemingly knowing something the rest of us don't.

"Yup, found it in a pawn shop not far off campus." She declares proudly before pulling out a large case she manages to hide behind the veils. With one look, I recognize what it is. It's Kenny's old DJ equipment, he mentioned that he sold it off a few days after they fired him. I can't believe she found it.

"Damn Sue, you're a wizard." I exclaim in awe.

"That's what I've been saying." Stan smirks at my reaction.

"I got my ways." She winks before pulling the two of us onto the brightly blaring dance floor, "Now c'mon, this is my party and I'm gonna get everyone to leave here party high!"

Stan and I start dancing and enjoying ourselves, making up for the first time we were here. After a few drinks, even Kenny seems to have loosen up and actually takes Sue's DJ request, playing sets and leading the crowd like he loves to do. I gawk at Sue's bold and vibrant dance moves while Stan and I rest in the booth, "Damn, she's a real party animal." I shake my head in amusement as Tweek tries to keep up with her.

"You just knew? I knew the first time she brought me here."

I hum in agreement as I finish my Rum and Cola, "I'm sure Tweek's happy to finally dance with her sober."

"He's come a long way. By the way, he mentioned that he was gonna ask Sue out."

"He did? Wow, way to go Tweek." I smide with pride, I wonder if he's gonna actually do it. He did spend most of his time perfecting it-

My attention gets pulled as the music stops at an unexpected arrival. "Evening poppet." I feel a chill going down my spine as I hear that disgusting voice echo through the quiet club. Sue seems frozen in shock for a moment, then she takes charge and grab Jake's arm, pulling him into our booth with the rest of the crew following us.

"What are you doing here?" She growls.

"You have a party with your crew and close friends, I figured I should make an appearance." He answers with a wicked grin, obviously amused by Sue's anger. "Aww don't be mad, everyone at the station knew about it."

"And you should've known you weren't invited."

"Look, I might not be your favorite person-" He starts before being interrupted by Sue's snarky remark.

"Did telling you that 27 times finally get it into your thick skull?"

Despite that, he still continues firmly, "-But I do want you." He announces as he pulls a white lily out of the coat he's wearing, "How about it, poppet?"

Before Sue can say anything, a loud shout steals all of our attentions, "Wait!" Tweek screams, soon realizing that he not only has Sue's attention but everyone in the booth's as well. He takes a few deep breaths and mutters to himself, "Ok…Ok, you can do this." Once he's calmed down, he looks up again, straight at those striking sliver eyes. "Sue, I know I'm not charismatic nor talented. But I do like you. "

"Excuse me, I'm in the middle of-"

"You shut up!" Sue silences Jake instantly before urging Tweek in a softer tone, "Go on, Tweek."

Tweek nods and gulps down his nerves before continues, "I-I love the way you act, I love how supportive you've been to me and I love the way you make me feel, like I'm the top of the world and like I'm confident enough to take on anything. And I spent the last few days making you this." He pauses, looking around nervously for the box he brought with him.

He grabs it and opens it gently, presenting the gift inside. It's a strawberry mousse cake in the shape of a dome. It's made with spiral rolls and strawberries that are positioned so that the whole cake looks like a bouquet of roses.

"I know how much you love strawberries so I created this myself for you." Tweek simpers as his body trembles with nerves. He looks at her while giving her the cake, pleading with his eyes. "I'm not asking for much, just give me a chance."

Sue looks in awe at the cake in her hands. She puts the cake down on the table, turning to Jake. Tweek looks dejected at Sue's actions, believing that's her choice, before she takes the lily and slaps him with it. "Sorry, Jake. You had your chance years ago." She chides at Jake before turning to Tweek and hugging him.

Tweek looks shocked by her actions, looking over at the three of us cheering for him then looking back at the blue-haired girl hugging him. "Really?" He asks in joyful disbelief.

"Don't act surprised. You're the one who asked me out." She muses at her new boyfriend. We're all cheering happily at the new couple until we notice Jake cackling, clapping his hands in a slow, mocking manner.

"Well played, Tweek. You beat me at my own game." He declares with a detestable yet somewhat elegant manner. He walks up to Sue, causing both her and Tweek to tighten the holds they have on each other. "I supposed now comes the aftermath." He says as he pulls out a white envelope from his coat and hands it to her.

"What's this?" Sue asks, inspecting the envelope.

"My resignation letter." He smiles bemused as he watches Sue's face stiffen, "From this point on, I'm no longer working for BC Live."

"What?!"

"Turns out an online show producer saw me on BC Live and wants me to host their new entertainment segment. Seeing how my schedule won't have time for this anymore, I figured I'd at least end it formally."

"Y-You can't leave!" Sue stammers as she breaks out of Tweek's hold to confront Jake. "Not on such short notice! How the hell am I gonna find a replacement so soon?"

"You'll figure it out. You're BC Live's  _fearless_  leader." He shrugs apathetically at Sue's frozen figure before turning to Tweek with a smirk, "As for you, Twitchy. That was my end of the bargain."

"You didn't say you'd do this!" Tweek cries.

"I said I'd leave her alone. You got what you wanted." He finishes and starts walking towarad the exit. He turns back at us, looking at Sue as he gives her a final bow before leaving, "Good luck, poppet."

As the doors hang shut, Sue finally collapses onto the floor, having lost all the strength in her legs. Tweek rushes to her side, "Sue…"

We all witness it all in shock until we hear the sound of Sue hitting the floor. We snap back to reality and rush to help her back on her feet. "What just happened?" She asks blankly before scowling angrily at Tweek, "What did you do?"

I feel my blood run cold as I hear the venom in her voice. Stan always said that no one should even make Sue mad but judging by the expression of Stan and almost everyone in her crew, no one has seen her like this before. I can't imagine how Tweek's feeling now.

Tweek is obviously shaking under Sue's accusation, he struggles to stutter out a coherent answer. "I-I made a b-bet with Jake to get h-him to leave you alone, since I k-know he's been bugging you and-"

It doesn't take much for Sue to make the connection with what happened tonight and figure out what's going on. I can see her glare harden as her mind clicks everything in place. "Leave."

"Huh?"

"Leave. The party's over." She says coldly "I can't believe you, Tweek. I thought you were different."

I couldn't take it anymore. I push up to the front to defend poor Tweek. "Sue, you can't seriously blame Tweek for this."

"Blame him?" She laughs hollowly, shaking me and Tweek to our cores. "He'll be lucky if that's all I do to him. He got rid of our host, how are we gonna keep going? Stan can't do it because his work schedule's full too. Most of the other radio DJs aren't nearly as popular, or as captivating as Stan or Jake. You have basically destroyed the one thing I worked my butt off for." She points sternly at Tweek, making him shrink with every sentence.

I guess Kenny couldn't take it either, he walks over to use and adds, "He was just trying to help, you should've seen him standing up to that asshole."

Again, it doesn't take long for Sue to make sense of it all. "Wait, you knew about it? All of you?" She glares at all four of us

"Stan didn't know anything about it. It was just the three of us." I quickly defend Stan, I can't let him take the hit for something he didn't know about.

"And I thought we were friends." She shakes her head in disbelief, "Who the hell asked you to butt into this?"

"I-I'm sorry." Tweek mutters, he looks like he's about to fall apart.

"Yeah, me too." She says as she starts walking away.

I soon notice Tweek's breathing becoming more and more erratic, he's trembling and his hands are covering his mouth and he looks like he's trying to find some part of reality to grip onto. I can hear muffled screams from behind his hands. I quickly turn to Stan, "Stan, go get my bag and start the car. Tweek's having another episode."

Stan nods and rushes out the door to get what we need. Kenny and I hold Tweek to make sure he doesn't run off again like the last time but we shoo everyone else away from us and pull him towards the door. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Sue looking worryingly at us, she takes one step towards us before backing away into the crowd behind her.

Luckily after the first time, I have started carrying some sedatives around. I was hoping I'd never have to use it though. Tweek eventually calms down before he starts sobbing. I feel so bad for him but there's nothing I can say right now. We reach home and go back to our rooms without another word. I begin to drown myself in my studying, trying to block out everything that's been happening. Before I go to bed, I go back to change the candle and pray that everything will work itself out. It has to.

I hear Stan's door opening but I make no attempt to run back, "Kyle, how long did you know about this?" He questions me.

"Since the beginning." I confess.

He pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration, "You've gotta be- Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't think I had to, this was between them."

"Goddammit, Sue's gonna be impossible."

"She can't stay mad for long, can she?" I ask, suddenly worried about how Stan's going to handle Sue like this. She's not gonna take it out of him, is she?

"No. That's the worst part. Sue doesn't let her emotions out like you do, she keeps them in and works herself crazy, and coincidentally the whole crew. She doesn't like surprises like these, she likes having a sense of control over a situation."

"God, everything's just getting so fucked up." I groan.

"Yeah, try not to think about it too much. I'll try talking to Sue when she's ready. I'm sure she'll listen to reason." Stan tries to assure me but even I can sense the obvious uncertainty in his tone.

I don't push it though and give him a kiss before heading back into my room, "OK, night Stan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I warned you guys, the drama ain't stopping and we're just getting started. Next time, we're going to have a little timeskip and we'll see what surprise Stan has in mind for Kyle.
> 
> I know some people are going to be confused so I'm going to state it here now. Charlie isn't confused about her gender identity again, she's confused on who she is. She knows that she's supposed to be a girl but she doesn't know what she's supposed to do now.
> 
> The cake in the picture is a modified version of a cake in from a magical girl anime that I watched as a kid and it's a very special symbol in the series and I'm glad to be able to use it in this story.
> 
> Anyways, as always feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS. Please let me know what you think, reviews and comments make my day.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	40. Highway to Progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things haven’t been smooth for the guys, but that doesn’t stop Stan from trying to turn it around for him and his boyfriend.

**Kenny's POV**

"Ugh, look at this." Tweek grimaces as we see the bag displayed on TV.

"Yo, Kyle." I kick at the leg of the redhead on the other side of the couch, "You're the gay one, tell me if that's shit or not."

"Fuck you, man." Kyle snarls, but still give a disgusted glare at the bag on TV, "But that really is trash though. Can't believe they're actually selling that crap."

Kyle and I aren't exactly back on bro-modes after our argument but we silently decided to set it aside to help Tweek. That night was a disaster, it was probably worse than the dinner with the Broflovskis because for a minute, the look in Tweek's eyes looks so happy and innocently blissful, like the hero who finally got his happy ending only for that dipshit to pull the rug under all of us and practically erased all Tweek's progress with the outside world.

"It's the Shopping Network. They'd sell anything for a dime or a blowjob." I remark before I notice a familiar scene from a video I saw a while ago, "I think this is the one. Wait for it…" As just I suspected, the dumbass host slips and smash into the wall, "There it is." I chuckle as we watch the host blunder out of embarrassment.

"What a loser."

"People who work on that network pretty much sold their souls."

"I wish Jake'd be the one on it then." Tweek wishes as he chugs the beer in his hand before scowling, "But then he'd probably have middle-aged women drooling all over him."

"Tweek, just forget about that douchebag." I try for the umpteen time to keep his mind off that night.

"How can I?!" Tweek wails in a slightly drunken slur, "Sue's mad at me and I still don't understand why. She won't even come to Harbucks anymore."

"He's got a point there. Haven't seen her a lot around campus either." Kyle adds oh-so-helpfully in my efforts of comforting Tweek, "I think Stan said she was busy training Jake's replacement. Things must be hectic there."

I groan at my friends, Kyle's pessimism and Tweek's angst are making it very hard for me to be around them now. Sober, at least. "God, I'm getting sober. Gimme."

"Get your own, you lazy ass." Kyle chides as he chugs the remainder of his beer down.

"Fine." "You're done with your summer courses, right? Got any plans?"

"Yeah, Stan told me to clear next week. I'm just trying to remember if there's some anniversary I'm forgetting."

"Only you two could have a relationship gayer than teen romance novels." I chuckle, ignoring the middle finger aimed at me as I walk into the kitchen.

"Hey guys." Stan greets as he drags himself through the door, momentarily stunned at the sight of his boyfriend and his caffeine-loving friend lounging on the couch and making snarky remarks about laces, "What are you guys doing?"

"We were watching the Broncos. They sucked and we got bored so now we're getting drunk off our asses watching the Shopping Channel." Kyle explains, giving Stan a peck on the lips as he wraps his arms around Stan's waist, "How'd your day go?"

Stan gladly pulls Kyle in to return the gesture, "I'll tell you later."

I chuckle as I watch the scene before me, at least one of us is having a better time at love. Stan really helped Kyle progress so far, I never thought I'd see the day Kyle would be comfortable enough to initiate a kiss in front of us.

I slip back into my laidback attitude as I plop down into the couch, next to Stan as I playful prod him for this 'surprise' that he has in mind for our dear redhead, "Stanny-boy, my dear friend Kyle told us you've got something planned for him next week. Aren't you gonna tell your friends this? Do you need us outta the house for the night?" I finish with a mischievous wink.

"Kenny!" Kyle cries out of angry embarrassment. I howl with laughter at Kyle's feeble attempts to hide it.

"Relax, I'm just watching out for ya." I manage to explain myself in between laughs, much to Kyle's dismay.

Throughout our little argument, Stan perks up at the mention of his plans. "Actually since you're all here, I might as well give you your surprise now." He cheerfully heads over to his bag to pull out a book wrapped in pokka dotted wrapping paper and gives it to his boyfriend, "Surprise!"

Amused by Stan's antics, he unwraps it carefully (and not ripping the wrapping paper apart like a normal person) to find a used 3 ring notebook. A slight flipthrough of the pages shows that most of the pages have already been writing on. Kyle looks up at Stan's eager face with confusion, "Err… What is this?"

"Our agenda. We're going on a roadtrip all week." Stan declares proudly but he starts to falter when he notices Kyle's baffled expression.

Kyle stutters, "I-I'm not- But… Why? Why suddenly go on a roadtrip?"

"What? I can't have a nice getaway with my boyfriend?" He tries to play it cool, and failing miserably since Kyle just gives him a look that says 'Really, dude?' He sighs and explains, "Ok look, with your schoolwork and my music, we barely had time to do anything together and we're gonna be even busier when school starts on Fall. So why not go on some adventures for old time's sake?" He pouts at the end, hoping that would convince Kyle to go on this roadtrip that he clearly planned for a while now.

Kyle however remains unimpressed.

"Don't worry dude, I'll protect you." Stan promises him.

Still unimpressed.

Stan sighs as he uses his last resort, "We'll even take some nice pictures to get your mom off your case."

Tweek and I smile throughout the exchange, we know Kyle's just playing hard to get. Despite not having much of a love life, Kyle does know the ins and outs of the playing field.

Kyle smirks at poor Stan, deciding to finally give him what he wants. "Fine, you dork. But don't expect me to pose for them."

Kyle revels in that little power trip as he goes back into his room. Stan on the other hand just pumps his arm up in victory as he joins me and Tweek on the couch. I pick up the notebook Kyle left behind and whistle at the amount of detail and planning in it. I was right, Stan's been thinking about this for a while now. "Wow Stan, this is a pretty big distance you're covering in a week."

"It's not that bad, plus I bought camping stuff so we can spend the night under the stars." Stan smiles at the thought of it. Tweek and I share a glance before we know what we gotta do.

I drop my lax attitude and get serious for a moment, "Ok, Stan. You know we're your best friends but we need to talk."

Stan's eyes flicker between both of our faces and groans in realization, "Oh god, is this another shovel talk?"

With that kind of reaction, I pretty much knew that we weren't the first to give Stan here 'The Talk'. "So Ike got you first huh? Well then, we'll make this quick. You better be serious about looking after him. I don't care if you two were 'super best friends' as kids, Kyle's a lot different from when he was ten. Take care of him, because I'll take every death sentence in history if it means punishing anyone who fucks with my friends."

"Of course. It's basically been my job since we were kids. I'm gonna watch over him and kick the ass of anyone who thinks they can touch him." Stan says determined.

"Even you?" Tweek suddenly asks.

"Me?" Stan looks taken off-guard by it, quiet before a smirk appears on his face, "Nah, I shouldn't be considered one." He leaves it at that as he takes the notebook from my hand and skips upstairs, humming what I assume is his new song.

None of that matters right now though. Did I hear it right? Did Stan just say- "No way…" I mutter as I look over at Tweek, wearing the same scandalized expression. That sneaky bastard.

"Go get 'im, Stan!" I howler at him, him giving me a thumbs up before the door closes. "My baby boys are growing up so fast." I joke as I playfully put my arm around Tweek, who's mood has gone up after hearing Stan's 'declaration' He looks more relaxed now after seeing his friends so happy.

"Please don't tell me this is what I'm gonna deal with for the entire time they're gone." Tweek chuckles lightheartedly. We spend the rest of the night making bets about whether Stan's gonna get into Kyle's pants before the trip is over, who'd be the one to make the first move and whether Stan's gonna make it back from this trip alive.

* * *

**Kyle's POV**

The days pass without much of a notice but that could be because I was busy preparing for Stan's surprise trip. I manage to pack everything we'll need for the trip, I wish he'd let me know sooner that I'd need a new pair of boots and possible weapons in case shit goes down, because somehow it always does. But a week's worth of prep is better than nothing.

Today's a Friday, which Stan takes time to visit his mom but this time he asked me to come with him and I gladly tag along. "Thanks for coming along."

"No problem, you visit every Friday right?" I ask with a smile.

"Yeah, but I'm just surprised you'd want to come along." Even though he says that, I know how much me coming along means to him.

"Dude, it's been ages since I've seen your mom. I wonder if she even remembers me."

"Like she'd ever forget the kid who got her son into all kinds of trouble back home."

"Wasn't it more the other way around?" I remind him. "You dragged me on a wild goose chase just because you didn't want people to know you took a shit in the urinal."

Stan rolls his eyes as he parks the car at his mom's driveway, mumbling about moving on from that. Like I'd ever let him live that down.

Stan rings the doorbell and suddenly I can't stand still, this reminds me of girls bringing their boyfriends to meet the family. That's ridiculous, but I wish I can tell my nerves that. The door opens and I see Stan's mom at the door, slightly older than she was when I last saw her, a few wrinkles on the eyes and a few strands of grey hair, but the smile and her motherly nature never changed. "Hello Stanley… and Kyle!" Her tone brightens when she notices me, "I didn't expect you to come."

"Hey, Mrs. Marsh." I greet her. She just chuckles at my politeness.

"I hadn't heard anyone call me that in so long. I've heard about you and Stan, you can just call me Sharon."

"Mom, please." Stan says, "I'm not even on first name terms with the Broflovskis yet."

"Shelia's a tough case but I'm sure my son'll win them over soon enough." She smiles confidently at us, making me blush at her implications.

"Mom…" He groans, looking just as embarrassed as I am.

"Oh right, Kyle come inside." She steps aside, letting us into the house but holding Stan back for a moment, "Stanley, you promised me you'd weed the garden."

"But Kyle and I are leaving tomorrow!" Stan whines.

"That's tomorrow, you're here today; and by the time you're gone, those dandelions better be too." She instructs him, making him march towards the backyard while pouting like a child who had his toy taken from him.

"M-maybe I should go help him." I offer, but she stops me before I could take another step.

"Nonsense Kyle, you're the guest. Is coffee Ok?" She asks as we sit down in the living room.

"Uh… Uh-huh." I nod nervously. Why am I nervous? I've been around the Marshes since I was fucking 4-years-old.

Sharon smiles as she enters the kitchen to prepare the coffees, "You know, Stan's never one for keeping relationships. Even with Wendy, he doesn't bring her home much. But I can tell how much he likes you."

"You're just as lively as I remember you." I say, taking the cups from her and putting them onto the coffee table. "Ma was a little disappointed when you couldn't come to dinner that night."

"I was busy with Shelly then, I'll call Shelia later."

"Speaking of which, where is Shelly?"

20 minutes and half a cup of coffee later, Stan enters the living room, already drenched in sweat from the summer heat and with dirt covering his fingernails. "Done already? Or are you just slacking off?" She questions her son with a raised eyebrow.

"Recharge." He smirks as he quickly lifts my chin up and steals a quick kiss. "Be right back." He winks and heads outside before my mind could even think about what just happened.

Sharon's light laughter brings me out of my frozen state, "Such a sweet boy."

"He's a dork." I roll my eyes, but I know the small smile on my face is betraying me now.

"Maybe, but he's earnest. Kyle, after what he told me that Wendy had been cheating on him with Eric, I didn't know if he'd be able to love someone again so soon. But I can see you've fixed that problem."

"Stan's strong. He's not gonna let that cheating whore get him down." I huff before I realize that I was ranting about Stan's ex-girlfriend in front of his mom. "Sorry."

"It's fine, I've given up trying to tone down Stanley's swearing since he was eleven. You two are adults now." Her tone suddenly shifts into something more sincere, "I am glad that he's been living with you boys, he's been looking livelier than I've seen in years and I owe a lot of that to you, Kyle."

"I can't be that important. Stan created a name for himself with his own talents, he's fighting against his alcoholic tendencies. I'm more the cheerleader on the sidelines." I tell her.

Stan was always a wild card, I might be book smart and Kenny knows his way around people but he has more potential than any of us, more options, and more possibilities. He was the one of us who wasn't bounded by any expectations, but that also means that he was the easily to break out of all of us.

"You'd be surprised how much help that can be."

"I guess so." I nod in contemplation.

After we put our cups into the sink, Stan drags himself into the house, now looking like he just ran all the way to South Park and back, "Done, Mom." He informs her before collapsing dramatically over the couch, "So what've you two been talking about?"

"Oh, just doing my job of humiliating my son in front of his boyfriend like any good parent should." She chuckles, "Which reminds me, Kyle did he ever show you the first song he uploaded?"

His first song? "I think it was a cover of some pop song." I recall, not noticing that Stan's face has gone pale.

"Nope, his first song was the song he first wrote for you."

"The hybrid song?" I exclaim, much to Stan's embarrassment.

"MOM!" He cries indignantly.

To anyone else who heard that would probably find that endearing, even romantic. While I do think that, I just can't stop thinking of it as perfect blackmail material and I can't wait to see Kenny and Tweek's faces when I tell them this little story. "You tried to sing a song you write when you were nine? That's adorable." I mockingly pinch his cheek.

"No it was awful." He groans, his hand covering his face in shame, "God the lyrics were horrible, I'm just glad no one outside of South Park heard that shit."

Sharon and I laugh at his reaction, much to his disapproval. I finally get it out of my system and wrap my arms around his waist, "Man, if little Stan can see you now…"

"If he could, he'd probably freak the fuck out about his future-self cuddling with his best friend."

"Boyfriend." I correct him.

"Right, boyfriend."

"You two are too sweet." She coos. Suddenly her phone alarm goes off, she turns it off quickly and explains to us. "That's to remind me when to pick up Shelly, I have to go now."

That's our cue to leave, Stan and I pick up our stuff and head out the front door. Before we leave, she gives both of us a hug, "It's so nice to see you again, Kyle."

"By the way, Mom. Remember that we'll be gone for the entire week. I'll call you when we stop for the night." Stan reminds her. She nods and asks us to stay safe before we get into Stan's car and start heading home.

"Well, I guess that ticks 'meeting the parents' off the list." Stan muses

"Stan, that's been off the list since we were toddlers." I try to make it sound as deadpan as possible but it still comes off as amusement.

"Still, nice to make it official you know." He shrugs before looking all excited again, "So you ready for tomorrow?"

"You're really hyping this up, I'll let you know I'm not that easily impressed anymore."

"Well, Kyle Broflovski. I accept your challenge."

* * *

**Shelly's POV**

"You're doing a good job, Shelly." Francine says, sitting cross-legged beside me. We've been sitting on the floor of her living room for about 10 minutes now.

I've been visiting Francine again to try and 'fix' myself, or at least to how Mom wants me to be. I have no idea what I want anymore. Francine has promised that she'll help me reconnect with the outside world and with my family as long as I'm willing to keep trying.

This time, she thinks mediation would help.

I sigh as I give up trying this 'inner peace' bullshit, "Why am I doing this again?"

"I've noticed that you let your temper and your aggression get the better of you. As someone who helps manage the thoughts of others, you've gotta keep a level head. This will help you too." She reminds me, still in her Zen mode.

Suddenly a girl comes into the living room, breaking the silence by calling out to Francine before noticing me. "Aunt Francine, I'm- Oh. Who is she?"

"She's one of my clients, Shelly." Francine introduces us, "Shelly, this is my niece Charlotte."

"Hello." She nods courteously.

"Hi."

"Charlie dear, do you need anything?" Francine asks, reminding her niece why she interrupted us.

"Oh, yeah. The hospital called, your phone's upstairs."

"OK, I'll be right back, Shelly." She gets up to enter her office, leaving me with her niece.

"So… you're her niece. Sorry I don't know much about you, she didn't talk much about her family."

"I'm a more recently inclusion, she and Uncle Dexter have been my guardians for a while now." She explains with a more somber tone.

So this is the kid, I've heard that she rescued her nephew-turned-niece from her psycho family and became her new guardian, Francine never really told me her story and I never cared enough to ask.

"She mentioned a little about you." She says.

"Really?" I exclaim, a little surprised that Francine mentioned me.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about what you had to go through with your brother. It's not easy going on without family beside you." She says sincerely.

I'm shocked that this girl who doesn't really know me is suddenly empathizing with me, but then again if anyone knows what it's like, it'd be her.

"I've been trying with my mom, my brother's a different case. Francine thinks that she can fix what's been broken for over 18 years." I fake a huff of disbelief, I know I believe her but my pride can't stomach that.

"Don't doubt her, she's no magician but she's determined." She giggles at my statement before looking up with pride in her eyes, "She's been helping me through a rough time too."

"I kinda noticed, when I first saw you, you had that blank mindless look I had for a while. So what's your deal?"

"Typical teenage drama: break ups and identity crisis." She shrugs nonchalantly but I can see the storm in her head. Was this what I was like when I was holed up in my room?

"Trust me, kid. Those things don't change with age." I scoff at the memories, all the boys I made a big deal about. It seems so trivial now. "I've had a few boyfriends too. You'll survive."

"I guess." That's what she says but the frustration in her tone says otherwise, "I just wish I could be better, I don't want to let him go."

"Then don't. Keep fighting, you won't let go of something if you really need it. I'm starting to learn that."

She ponders for a while before giving me a small smile, "Thanks, Shelly. I hope things turn better for you and your brother too."

I smile in response, it's nice to talk to someone like that. Just a simple conversation with a stranger, not having to worry about impressions or more questions.

Francine soon comes down after a moment. "Sorry about that, Shelly. Your mom should be here soon." Francine then turns to her niece, "Charlie, I'm going to the store. Need me to get you some lunch for tomorrow?"

"Actually, I'll be staying at school a little late tomorrow." She says, surprising her aunt.

"Really?" Francine's eyes widen in relief, it reminds me of my Mom when I was washing dishes with her that night.

"Yeah…" She nods more confidently, "The drama team really misses me and I'm honestly bored of being depressed."

"I'm glad to hear that. Remember that you should never be scared to feel weak, it's just a phase." Francine smiles at her niece, happy that she has her motivation back.

"She's a tough kid." I comment, watching Charlotte go back to her room.

"You're not the first one to say that. It killed me to see her like that, even as a psychiatrist we can only do so much. At the end of it all, it's up to them to pick themselves up."

"Yeah." I don't know why, but that determination that girl has is pretty contagious. I feel myself wanting to try again. "Can we try that mediating thing again?"

Francine seems surprised but pleased at my motivation, but she shakes her head, "I think that's enough for today, but I do have some lemon candles I can give you. You should try it by yourself. You'd find out a lot about yourself if you'd stop and listen."

I nod as I receive the small box of unopened scented candles. Mom soon appears outside the gate, I thank Francine before entering Mom's car. "Hey, Mom."

"Hey Shelly, how was your session?" She asks.

"… It was fine."

"Glad to hear it." She smiles as she starts driving back home.

I've been noticing Mom talking to me a lot more, she's been giving me more attention too. I always thought she was just watching me to make sure I don't go and attack that turd but for the first time, I think she's trying to compensate for neglecting me all those years. I don't know what to think about that, but I do know that Mom cares about me enough to try.

I can see that now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Stan and Kyle's romantic getaway. Kenny is definitely excited with what Stan has in mind XD
> 
> I'm so sorry for disappearing for so long. A bunch of personal issues and a huge case of writer's block are to blame, I'll try to keep them posted regularly if I can but don't worry if I go off again. I made a promise to you loves that I'd finish this and I will honor that. c:
> 
> So in case people are curious, no. Shelly and Charlie have no idea who the other really is. Shelly wouldn't care enough about gossip and the news in her current state, Francine and Stan would have no reason to tell Charlie about Shelly since Stan doesn't like sharing that part of his life and Francine is her doctor so she shouldn't be disclose too much personal information either.
> 
> Also, I will be working on something on the side too so don't be surprised if updates are slower. I have another promise I need to keep for a dear friend's birthday cx
> 
> Anyways, as always feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS. Please let me know what you think, reviews and comments make my day.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	41. Romance Vacance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan takes Kyle on a getaway in hopes to push their relationship to the next level. But despite agreeing to the getaway, both of them have very differing opinions on how they want to spend it.

  
**Stan's POV**  


A 7-day roadtrip to Califonia. Just me and Kyle. Finally alone with no blond roommates, no nosy or embarrassing moms and a perfect way to solidify our relationship. It took a while to plan and an amount of money so big for a freshman on a student loan that I can never tell Kyle about, but we're finally on the highway out of Boulder.

Kyle is on the phone, talking to his mom on his earphones. But thanks to knowing Mrs Broflovski and seeing Kyle's reactions, I pretty much can piece together what they're talking about. "Ma, Stan and I just left Boulder about an hour ago. It's hardly our first trip, Stan said he's got everything planned out." He suddenly jolts as his whole face turns flush red and screaming into the poor microphone. "NO! Oh god, mom why would you… Ugh!"

He hangs up and takes one hand off the steering wheel to pull the earphones out. "Urgh, I need my ma out of my personal life."

"What did she do this time?"

"Ma was asking about our trip. She thinks you're gonna try and violate me or something without her watch."

Well she might not be wrong there, Ky…

No. Stop thinking that, nothing like that is happening… yet.

"Well, I hope your dad's not making me sign a restriction order or something."

"No…" He groans, "My ma's the only one asking, and the most vocal about how fucking excited she is. God, did she have to talk about safe sex? I can never look at Ike without thinking about his laugh mocking me now."

"You know she means well." I muse, much to Kyle's annoyance.

"She doesn't need to know if I'm getting laid or not. And she actually researched gay sex and… Ugh just kill me now… Be a good boyfriend and end my misery." He woes dramatically and I feel kinda bad for chuckling while I'm watching my redhead banging his head on the wheel.

"Can't do that, Love." I deny him playfully. "You have no idea how hard it was to get those tickets, and your Jewish side won't waste that money."

Yeah, one of the biggest reasons why we're heading for California is for this year's San Diego Comic Con. After spending weeks on deciding what I wanted us to do for the trip, I found out that Terrance and Philip are gonna have a panel there this year. As diehard (literally) fans of them, it seems like the perfect event to take him to. It took a few sleepless nights and heavy duty

"Whatever." He pouts a little and I really had to stop myself from laughing at his reactions. Kyle's always been the one who pretty loud and proud about his thoughts and emotions but he rarely lets people see him like this.

"C'mon, Terrence and Philip will be worth it." I remind him, watching as his frustration slowly melts away for a small smile to appear.

"I know." He sighs before turning to me, "You still haven't told me how you got this all set up. 3-day tickets, a 4-star hotel close to the arena and all without any of us knowing how."

"Dude, I told you I was saving up with all the part-time work I've been doing."

"You told me all that was for a new guitar."

"Well, it won't be much of a surprise if I told you from the start. Plus, there's a contract Cartman and I have been working on with this record label. If I get signed in, I'll get training and I'll be getting a proper salary outta it." I tell him. While Kyle doesn't really know much about it, he's been nothing but supportive and I figure he should be the first one I tell about this.

"That's awesome." Kyle smiles enthusiastically, "How does it feel? Finally having your musical dreams come true."

"Don't say it like that! It sounds hella gay." I snide.

"Says the guy who just said 'hella'." Kyle scoffs in response. "Besides, you were more musically talented than any of us."

"I hate to say it, but I guess I have my dad to thank for that." I grimace at the thought.

Kyle seems to catch on and changes the subject, "So where are we stopping first?"

As shotgun, I have the responsibility of keeping track of where we're heading and entertaining Kyle so that he doesn't fall asleep and we end up on the front page. I take a look at the roadsigns and maps, "Well we're about 4 hours away before we hit the border. I'm thinking that we hit a diner before heading into Utah."

"Sounds like a plan." We leave it at that and I just connect my phone to the radio, playing a playlist of summer songs Sue and I have compiled.

"Stan, did you really have to do that?" Kyle groans as he curl himself into a small ball of shame. I chuckle as he glares at me, not really threatening with the red blush coating his face.

"What? That waiter should've kept his eyes to himself." I respond with a sense of pride, sitting across him at the booth we're seated in.

"And you think possessively pulling me away him and flipping him off is the best move?"

"Well… You won't let me kiss you in public." I pout with my arms crossed. Kyle rolls his eyes and his flat expression just says 'Really…?'

"Oh c'mon Kyle, that guy was eyeing your ass." I smirk.

"You people keep saying I have a nice ass, I just don't get it."

"Bebe wrote a love letter for your ass." I remind him, "Anyone would want someone with an ass like yours."

"Stan-"

" _Anyone_. Kyle."

"Fine." He relents with a bored look.

Soon, the booth is filled with small talk and things we want to do when we get to California. The same waiter shows up and serves us our food. I make sense to send him a scowl before he runs back into the kitchen with his tail between his legs. I watch as Kyle cuts his pancakes with his fork, giving me a great idea for romance. I pick up a sausage with my fork and hold it in front of him, Kyle just looks at me with confusion, "What are you doing?"

"Feeding you." People still do this, right?

"…Why?"

"Huh?"

"Too much food on your plate? You could just put it on my plate." Kyle just shrugs and turns his attention back to his stack. I put some of my eggs on his plate and suddenly bacon doesn't seem that appetizing.

Attempt #1 was a bust.

We pay for our meal and get back into the car, I'm not really satisfied with how it turned out but we still got a lot more time and we've just hit the border.

"I'm so tired. Utah is so boring." Kyle whines bored from the driver seat, not that I blame him. I feel like we've been passing the same tree for the last 4 miles.

"You should've just let me drive."

"No way I'm letting you drive with a fucking hangover." Kyle glares at me before letting out a frustrated sigh. "Every time you go out with that kid, you come back drunker than I've ever seen you. That kid needs a better role model."

I wince a little at his words. I did feel a little bad for getting shitfaced when I met up with Z last night, I had to tell him that I was going away for a trip and I spent most of the night spilling all of my plans to him. Z did seem genuinely happy that I'm so serious with Kyle but he seemed distanced, like I was abandoning him, and that kinda guilt me into it. Let's just say Kyle wasn't too happy when he found out I got back 2 hours before we were supposed to leave…

"I'm not hungover anymore." I defend myself, granted letting me drive with only a few hours of sleep is still probably not the best idea. "And fuck you, I can be a great role model. Z looks up to me like his brother, not like his own would do anything about it…"

His face shifts from disapproving to worry, "Stan, drinking boozes under the bridge of a park with a minor is never a good idea. Maybe you should let his mom know and let her take it from there."

I stop answering him and turn my attention to my phone, Kyle seems to get it and lets it drop. I suppose I shouldn't be that defensive about our friendship but I hate the idea that Kyle thinks that he knows what's best for the kid, Kyle wasn't there when Z was getting beaten into a corner, he wasn't there when Z was crying over what was left of his family, Kyle wasn't there like I was.

I send Z another message, asking if he was alright. I haven't heard much from him since he disappeared from the bridge when I woke up there, hopefully he'll text me soon. I have this unnerving feeling...

Kyle turns my attention back as he asks, "So where's this camping site you booked for us?"

"It should be somewhere here…" I look out to find a roadsign, finally seeing the name of our campsite, just a few more miles down east. "There it is."

We get out of our stuffy car and stretch a little before unloading our camping gear. With my experience, it isn't long before our tent is pitched and our campfire burning before the sun fully sets. OK, time to go with attempt #2.

There's a reason I planned an outdoor camping night: watching the stars and night sky, very romantic. Also, there's supposed to be some

"S'mores and roasted marshmallows on a campfire, if that doesn't scream summer I don't know what does." I smile proudly at my perfectly roasted marshmallow, while Kyle's always seem to be burned on one side.

Kyle smirks as a response and he walks over to the car and pops open the truck. He pulls out a box I didn't notice there before. "How about fireworks?" He winks, opening the box. Inside are a wide array of fireworks of all sizes, some of which I'm pretty sure are illegal.

"Dude! How did you even get these?" I gawk in disbelief.

"We're from South Park, remember?" Kyle rolls his eyes and starts sifting through the collection, "Your uncle Jimbo still have like 7 shipments of these things." He smiles as he pulls out what I'm sure is the biggest bottle rocket I've seen.

"Maybe not tonight." I look at him and the firework in his hands, "I don't wanna get kicked off the campgrounds and sleep in the car."

"Well what do you wanna do then?" Kyle asks, bemused.

"Stargazing."

"Stargazing? You never cared about that before."

"Kyle, the Stan before was a hyperactive 10 year old boy. I'm not the same kid I was then, just let go of that. I'd rather you learn more about present me."

"Stan, when did you become such a pussy?"

OK, low blow, Kyle. You go vegan one time and they never let it go. "Fine, just not anything that showy. I can't believe you'll risk our camping stuff for a couple of pretty explosions."

"Are you mocking the awesomeness that is fireworks?!" He gasps in mock-shock, but once he notices my unamused expression, he gives in. "Fine, what about these? We used to blow up toy soldiers with these." He asks, holding a few smaller ones. They're nowhere as bad as that atomic rocket Kyle had earlier but that's still probably gotta get the park ranger's attention.

"Umm… How's about something that won't get us kicked off the campsite? Like-" I spot something near the bottom, I get an idea and pull them out of the box to show them,"-these sparklers?"

Kyle raise his brow as he takes the sparklers from me and gives them a look-around. "Ugh, fine. Only because they're still better than boring ass snakes.".

Just before Kyle lights one of them with the campfire, I stop him and quickly hop into the tent. "Wait, Kate lent me her camera." I find the camera in my backpack and get into position, "Go on." I point the camera at him, much to his confusion.

"Write with it, Einstein." I roll my eyes, stating the obvious. "I can't believe you're the smart one."

"Well not all of us are sensitive artistic souls." Kyle grumbles, before getting into postion himself, "Ready?"

I give him a thumbs up. He lights the sparkler with the campfire and starts using it like a pen, writing with it while I capture it. The picture appears on the camera's screen to show Kyle with a faint glow from the sparkler and his name written in front of his chest. "Not bad. Not very creative though."

"Oh yeah? You try that Mr. Pop star." He challenges me.

"Hey, you think I can be a pop star with  _just_  a guitar?" I switch the camera in my hands with Kyle's sparkler. "Get ready."

I take off from my starting position and break out into a dance. My mind goes back to my reservoir of self-taught dance moves, thank you YouTube dance tutorials and past Stan for those endless hours of practice. I start dancing on instinct, mirroring that dance video of Closer I learnt a while back. I finish my dance, slightly winded, as I put out the dying sparkler in my hand.

Kyle looks absolutely flabbergasted before he shakes himself out of his shock and into a salty-looking pout, not that he'd admit that. "… No fair. You know I can't dance."

"Too bad." I smirk. Kyle is clearly not amused by that, and I better fix this before I lose my tent sleeping privileges.

"Here, try this move then." I show him a simpler dance move, just a few well-timed arm movements and light footwork. He mirrors them slowly but I think he's getting the hang of it.

Kyle lights up another sparkler and starts dancing again, no doubt trying to show off. "This isn't so- OH SHIT!" Things suddenly goes south when Kyle trips on his own feet and the sparkler flies over another campsite… and lands right on the pile of newspaper there!

It doesn't take long before a small flame spouts from those sparks, thanks to the fuel and the summer heat. We hear a ruckus from the tent by the campsite, I think they're up and boy are they panicking.

"Hide!" We don't think twice about hiding all the evidence in our sleeping bags and putting out our campfire before the rangers show up.

"We should just go to bed." Kyle says before I could say another word. Dammit! Another chance ruined. I was really hoping that tonight would end a little differently. Ugh… Better luck next time.

After we finish packing up and eating a diner near the camp site, we continue our drive. Thankfully Kyle lets me drive today. I called Mom and Kenny to let them know we're still alive, I even sent Z a text but he hasn't said anything back yet. I hope he's OK.

We soon pass the border of Nevada, I start getting excited over all the plans I have for tonight. The last few times might be flukes but you can't go wrong here.

Las Vegas, home of neon lights and spontaneous romance.

I wake Kyle up from drooling onto my passenger side window, he opens his eyes and groans, "Why are we even stopping here? We can't get into 80% of the places here."

Granted I should've known that Kyle's reaction to Vegas wasn't gonna change, whether he saw it in our itinerary or whether he was here in person. "C'mon Kyle! We're in Vegas!" I try to light up Kyle's enthusiasm "There's this cool magic show that's touring here and I got us front row seats."

Kyle really liked magic shows when we were kids. He's pretty susceptible to believing in the surreal and the supernatural, part of growing up in South Park I guess. Anyways, I catch him stare at street magicians and those freaky drama kids in college with their top hats and playing cards. I figured I'd treat him to some real magic. As real as 30 dollars would get you at least.

"Fine. But please for all that is good in the world, don't start exposing magic secrets while we're there." Kyle warns me. I can't stop that I see through all their bullshit, and that's before all this cynical crap.

"… I'm gonna need some more whiskey." I groan, but the smirk on my boyfriend's face tells me I ain't getting any sympathy from him.

"Well…" Kyle frowns, kicking the cinder block wall in front of me. "This wasn't how I wanted it to go down."

"You're the one who punched the guy on stage, in front of security." I call him out while sitting on the bench on the side of the jail cell.

"He fucking deserved it, who does he think he is? Putting moves on my boyfriend?"

Kyle and I were watching the show, he was pretty entranced while I was drinking out of a paper bag. I was a little tipsy when I scoffed and called him a joke. He challenged me by pulling me up as a volunteer for his next trick. It got a little handsy and Kyle was not happy about it.

"You were pretty hot when you decked that creep." I bemuse. I sometimes forget about the fire my redhead has. I never really saw Kyle as the jealous type, but I'd be glad to see that side of him a little more, without getting my balls cut off, of course.

"How many times have we been caged by now?" Kyle asks, which actually got me wondering about that. The answer: far too many time for a couple of kids.

"Meh, we probably shouldn't mention to our parents."

"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?" We laugh until some guy shows up in front of our cell and gives us a snarl. The laughter reduces to a smug smirk and snickering behind the dick's back.

"Probably for the best. You know when I planned coming here, a Nirvana jail cell was not where I wanted this night to end on." I remark. Tonight's probably another bust, but I'm not that mad about that this time.

"Hopefully fatass could bail us out before sunrise."

A few hours later, the officers that threw us in here open our cell with a begrudging grunt. Obviously they're not happy about letting us off the hook, I wonder what did Cartman do to make them let us go like that?

Just as we step outside of the station, I hear Cartman calling on my phone. I pick up and the first time I hear him say is, "You owe me big for this, Stan."

"Yeah, yeah. Thanks Cartman." And I mean it, it'd be a disaster if we had to get our parents to bail us out, not to mention that I really don't need this on my criminal records. "Now if there's nothing else, I'm gonna try and seduce my boyfriend again."

"Ew! I don't need to know what you're planning to do to that Jewfuck." Cartman wails in disgust and discomfort before shifting into his more serious 'manager' tone. "Actually there is something. The label called, you passed their little audition but they got one more thing they want before sending the contract over. They want it pop-ed if that makes sense. No one has songs with pure instruments and they said 'kids won't buy it without a beat in the background' so you find someone who can get it done."

Ugh, people just don't appreciate good acoustic pop these days. So I need someone to remix my work… Wait a minute! "You know what? I know the perfect guy for the job. But I need you to make the call for me."

We talk about it for a little more before he concedes. "Fine. Just give what they want, Marsh."

I smile as I walk up to Kyle, who has been waiting patiently on the side while I was on my phone, he said he didn't trust himself enough to be grateful. Tomorrow we'll be arriving at Califonia, I wasted enough time trying not to get in trouble. Hopefully things will work out before we see the Colorado border again.

* * *

**Kyle's POV**

We make it to San Diego and check in before we head to Comic Con. Parking was a bitch to deal with, but the amount of awesome cosplay and fan merch for the past few days has been worth it. We even manage to get good seats for the Terrance and Philip panel on the last day of Comic Con. They're as funny as I remember them to be, they've even prepared some skits to perform there. I can't really remember the last time I laughed this bad, but that laughter falters a little when I look over at Stan. He's watching them too, with his hand in mine, but he looks distracted. I've noticed it for a while, he wasn't nearly as excited about this as when we left Boulder. I wonder what's bugging him.

"You OK, Stan?" I ask worryingly as we make our way through the crowd to the food court, "You've barely said much since we left."

"Sorry, I mean that panel was awesome. How could anyone have guessed that 'Uncle Fucka' was based on seeing how many swear words they could fit into an insult?" Stan replies with a little more enthusiasm than usual. An act… Why does he think he can hide shit like that from me?

OK, Kyle. Time to demand for answers. "OK, what's wrong? You've been like this since Vegas."

"What?"

"Don't 'what' me, Stanley Marsh." He visibly winces as I use his full name. "I know you better than you think."

His shoulder sag a little and he sighs, "… I'm just a little annoyed at how this has been turning out."

Annoyed? I've been having a great time so far. What's annoying him? It can't be me, I mean I'm not that bad of a travel buddy, right?

"What does that mean?" I ask with a little more accusingly than I'd want to admit.

Stan seems to have noticed it too as he stutters, "Wait- I'm not saying I hate this! It's just- I've had this amazing romantic getaway planned and so far we've started a fire in Utah, got arrested at Vegas which is honestly a surprise that didn't happen sooner…"

"Stan."

"Right, rambling again. Sorry." Stan pinches the bridge of his nose as he recomposes himself. "Nothing's really going my way. It's date night all over again."

"Stan. This trip has been amazing for me, we got to hang out and catch up on so much that we lost because we fell apart. You even got us a chance to see Terrance and Philip! What more could you ask for?"

"Yeah… But it's a  _romantic_  getaway, I feel like there's still so much I don't know about you and we haven't-" Stan flounders like he's trying to find the right words. "We're not really acting like a couple."

I have to actually resist rolling my eyes when I hear this. "And who dictates how couples should act? Cheesy 90s rom-coms?" I stop when I notice the emotions swirling behind those azure blue eyes, how this trip turns out must mean more to him than I thought. I change my tone to a more calm and understanding one. "Stan, wasn't the whole point of this trip to have fun? Do you care more about your little checklist? Aren't you happy?"

"I'm happy but I still feel some barrier between us. You kiss me more and you're OK with it now but I still feel like you're closed up, and I don't just mean sex."

I freeze up a little at his words. I know what he means and trust me, I can tell him every time I had to take a cold shower thanks to him but now's not the time. "Sex isn't the problem. I can tell you that. I just need time to figure out what I need to say."

Stan seems like he has more to say but he just closes his mouth and smiles, "OK."

"I will… Soon." I reassure him. I didn't think he'd think about that, we have been kissing and holding hands more. Stan's gotten me more comfortable with PDA, even if we're not locking lips on the corners of San Diego. I just have all these strong emotions swirling around inside me and Ma has been breathing down my neck, and it's gotten me riled up again, I thought I've gotten over this but I guess not, and now it's bothering Stan.

Ugh, I really to have to talk about this… Soon. Not now. I have a boyfriend to make up to.

"All right. We've got a few more days here, where to?" I ask him. I need to make this up to him so we'll do whatever romance stuff he wants, whatever will make him happy.

At the end, we decide to head back to the hotel to pick up some stuff. Stan seems to have something planned out but he's not spilling anything to me. Not even to his super best friend. Shame.

We start driving out of the city and closer to the shorelines until he stops and leads to me to a cove. It's small and I don't know the name of it, if it even has a name. It's pretty well-hidden from all the loudmouths and whining kids, I wonder how Stan even found this place.

"Found this last time I came to San Diego. I was hoping no one would be here now." He tells me, "You'd think beaches in California would be a lot more packed than this."

I take one good look at it and I'm really glad that it's just me and Stan here. The sand here is soft with the water looking like a beautiful clear mixture of green and blue. It's amazing and, I'll even admit it, romantic. "I don't mind it, it's nice to have a place like this all to ourselves."

"You'd be content with just staying in one place like this?" Stan raises an eyebrow.

"Well, we've been through the galaxy and back as kids. I won't mind staying on Earth for a while." I just shrug. We had so many adventures as kids thanks to the madhouse magnet that is South Park. Back then, all I wanted was out of there and get a sense of normality. I bet little Kyle would find it hilarious that this is my version of 'normal' now, having a picnic in a little cove at San Diego with my super-best-friend-turned-boyfriend.

We finish our food and chocolate-dipped strawberries (Stan's idea, not mine) as we watch the sun sets and the stars light the night sky. We're lying side by side on the beach towel we brought with Stan's hand combs through my red curls, this feels nice. "I guess. I won't mind coming back here next year." I mummer.

"Anywhere else you got in mind?"

"Actually yeah, I wanna go to Israel."

"Israel?" Stan asks, sounding surprised.

"Yeah, as much as I've 'strayed' from Jewish traditions I do want to learn more about my culture."

Stan closes his eyes and a soft smile slowly appears, "I can see that."

"You don't mind?" I ask skeptically.

"Why would what I think matter?"

"… I thought you'd ask to come along or be mad that I'm planning for a trip by myself." I explain to him, but now that I'm saying it aloud. It sounds insanely stupid.

Stan seems to think that too. He chuckles as he pulls my head closer to him and kisses my forehead. "Kyle, you have your dreams and I have mine. Why would I need to force myself into that?"

I give out a tiny sigh of relief and I let myself enjoy this moment. "I don't know, I see couples argue about it sometimes. When one excludes them out of a part of their lives."

"Ky, you've probably had that dream long before I came back into your life. It's your dream." He pulls back and looks me in the eye as he says that. I can't stop staring at the soft emotions pouring from those blue eyes of his.

I kiss him on the cheek and simper, "God, you really are perfect for me."

"Who's the 90s rom-com star now?" He smirks.

I roll my eyes but I lean back in to claim his lips again. Stan gladly reciprocates, our kiss turning into something hot yet soft, slow and comforting. It gets even stronger as Stan props himself above me, not once separating our lips from each other until air becomes a necessity.

I take a look at the sight before me, and man is it a sight. Stan's hair lightly messed up from my hands running through it, his eyes dilating to show more black than blue now, his flush red face and lips, openly panting with a content smile on his face, as the starry night night acts as our backdrop. All those strong emotions I feel for him are back in full force; but it feels like less urgent, not more a need than a want, a desire to hold him closer and give him everything.

I pull his lips onto mine again with a new purpose. Stan seems to notice it too, as he responds with just as much passion but a little more hesitant. "Kyle… Stop." He pulls us apart slightly, looking at my green eyes as he asks, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, you make me feel loved." I nod, never feeling surer in my life.

I notice Stan shallowing a gulp of nerves as he starts moving his hands over my chest and under my shirt, slowly caressing the skin I can tell that he's been wanting to touch. He places a few soft kisses along my jawline and peppers some onto my neck. He stops to take off our shirts now as we lie slightly exposed to each other. He seems anxious and excited, looking at me like I'm the stars in his world.

He lean back closer to me as he asks softly, "Is this OK?"

I'm pretty sure I have this huge goofy grin on my face right now. Normally I'd be terrified of ever letting myself get this far. But with Stan, I never felt safer. "Yes." I respond as I close the distance between us again, giving myself over completely to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha, I bet you were expecting a smut scene, huh? This is rated T, Loves. Sorry. I'll let it for you to imagine c;
> 
> Go Stan for bringing it home! Next chapter will focus more on Kyle's issue as well as Kenny and Charlie's.
> 
> University life has started again and it has been killing me so far, but I can't miss my own anniversary for "It's Okay That's Love". Tomorrow marks 1 year since I started posting fanfics. I'm so glad that people love this story and I thank the people who haven't given up on it.
> 
> Updates might be really slow now that school has been taking over and my chapters have become much longer than when I first started, but I have been promising you that I will finish the story. Everything is pretty much planned out, it's the matter of putting them to words.
> 
> By the way, the sparkler scene is from an end credit scene from a pretty popular anime I finally got around watching and I had to add it in XD
> 
> Anyways, as always feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS. Please let me know what you think, reviews and comments make my day.
> 
> Take care, Loves.


	42. Phantom Wounds of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan wakes up in shock after a nightmare about Z. They spend their last night of their trip together before heading back to Boulder but Stan becomes paranoid because of his nightmares. Kenny feels more miserable as his loneliness weighs down on him, only for him to see the girl of his dreams again.

**Stan's POV**

It's dark outside, nothing but street lights luminating the empty street next to the park Z and I go to. What is going on here?

I see Z biking down the road, like he normally does. Why am I having a dream about Z?

Suddenly he skids into the other lane, too sudden for the car on that lane to stop or slow down. My mouth opens with a silent scream as I could do nothing at the moment with my feet frozen to the ground. Time seems to slow down as I'm forced to watch this accident happen.

The car collides with the bike, crushing the wheels under it. I hear a loud thud as Z is thrown headfirst onto the hood before crashing into the windshield

I feel my heart crush as I watch Z's body rolling off the car and falling limp onto the asphalt. I let out a silent cry and suddenly it was gone. I jolted up in cold sweat. I'm back at the cove, but something feels wrong. The air is colder and there's this shiver in my spine. I notice a shadow before me, I face up to look at it. With horror, I realize that it's Shelly standing over me.

What's she doing here?!

"Quite the paradise you created, huh little brother?"

I feel a sharp pain and tear in my abdomen, before I could stop myself, I look down and see a knife, the same knife that Shelly used on me all those years ago, in my body. That crooked smile on her face soon matches the bloodlust in her eyes as that smile widens into a mad-looking Cheshire grin, the knife turn inside me as she twists her wrist.

I collapse under the pain, falling limp onto her with the blood spilling from my lips. As I feel myself drowning in my blood and my consciousness fading, I notice her breath close to my ear as she whispers the last thing I hear before falling to darkness.

"I wonder, what it will take for you to turn this dream into a nightmare."

I wake up with a jump and shiver, I notice a pair of emerald green eyes staring at me with concern. He curls up next to me and holds my head to his chest, probably hoping his silent whispers and steady heart could calm mine from breaking a few ribs. I ignore it for now, focusing on my erratic breathing and the cold, thin layer of sweat sticking to me like a second skin.

He pulls back to look at me directly and I could see the heartbreak in his eyes when he does. I know what I must look like, eyes unfocused and blurry, panting and twitching like I just got my nerves shot from hell and back. In the back of my head, I'm screaming at my body to react, but my mind and body seem to be petrified with Shelly's sadistic grin imprinted in there. Kyle shouldn't have to see me like this.

"K-Kyle… I'm b-bleeding…"

Kyle looks at me, very confused and worried. I don't understand, I reach down to my abdomen, expecting the pain and the blood smearing across my palm. To my shock, I feel nothing. No pain, no sickening noises from the movements of my gaping wound and blood, not even a tear in the shirt I'm wearing.

This… makes no sense. Shelly was here. I was bleeding.

"You're OK, Stan. It's a dream. It's just a dream." I finally make out the words of his soft whispers, but at the moment it might as well have been white noise. In the comfort of his embrace, I try to regain my bearings.

What just happened? I saw Shelly standing over me just now, felt the knife pierces through my stomach and the warm red blood spilling from the cut, and I saw… Z, getting run over by a car.

That has to be a dream, but how come everything in my head is telling me that's real?

* * *

**Kyle's POV**

Waking up with your boyfriend damn close to a panic attack is a really bad time to wake up to, noticing people near the area while you're comforting  _and_  still naked with said boyfriend is even worse. It's a mess of fumbling limbs as we grab our shorts, slip our clothes back on and make ourselves decent before we traumatize any possible minors. We pack up our stuff and smile at a man walking his dog near the entrance to the cove, like we didn't spend the night there in each other's arms.

Stan, however, seems pretty shut off after his nightmare. I try asking about it every now and then, he doesn't say much about it but I hear him mutter something about Shelly and calling Z to check on him. Now he's taking a nap on the soft bed in that fancy ass hotel he saved up for us, but I can see the brows bunched up and his jaw clenched with nerves. Seeing him this closed off about it and still pretending that everything is OK… it hurts to now know that it's an act. Has he ever dropped his façade? Has he been acting this whole time, even around me?

Argh… I'm doing it again. This isn't about me. It's just… seeing Stan the way he is now reminds me of last night. Maybe this is a wake-up call, ever since that breakdown we had at Karaoke night we never talk much about our past anymore. Communication is a two-way street after all.

Now I just have to figure out how to spill the darkest corner of my thoughts to the boy who I can't live without again.

Great.

I get my chance after dinner. Tonight is our last night here in California, I really don't want our trip to end on a sour note. Stan mentions that he talked to Z and told him not to bike around for a while, which gives me an opening to ask him.

"Z is pretty lucky to have you looking out for him." I smile, his concern for Z is endearing. It reminds me of how protective I can be over Ike.

"I'm just doing what his brother should've done." Stan responds, part pride and part scowling at the mention of Z's stepbrother.

"About Z, I heard you mumbling about him when you woke up at the beach. Is it about your dream? Was he hurt?"

Stan goes silent for a moment and answers without taking his eyes off his plate, "… Yes."

OK. Obviously subtlety isn't gonna work here. Time to rip off the Band-Aid. "We should talk about this, Stan."

"Kyle, I really don't-" Stan starts his defenses before I cut him off.

"And you don't have to, not now. You have the choice of how much you wanna share with me, and that's fine. I haven't really been open with you either." I take a breath before I say what I've been preparing myself for. "You wanted to know why I'm still closed off. It's because I'm selfish."

"Being selfish in love to protect yourself is understandable. You don't want to get hurt."

"That's not what I mean. Ugh, why is this so hard!?" I clench my jaw with a fork I jabbed straight into my food, feeling frustrated and internal wincing at my outburst.

"Kyle, you don't have to tell me if you don't-" Stan tries in a calming voice before I cut him off.

"Just shut up! OK? You-you deserve to know what a shitty person I can be." I look down at my poor mutilated dish as I speak. I can't look him in the eye right now, but I can't stop now. I doubt I'd ever find the courage if I pussy out this time.

With my face hidden from Stan's gaze, I continue, "I told you that becoming a psychiatrist was my choice, but during high school I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I ended up just doing what Ma asked me to do: take AP classes, focus on getting on the teacher's good sides, focus on IT, stuff like that. Ma wanted me to either become a lawyer and follow Dad's footsteps or become a doctor. But after I found out how much I wanted to help my friends and myself, I changed tracks and boy was Ma not pleased. She kept trying to convince me throughout high school to change my mind but after the day I showed her my acceptance letter from Boulder, she stopped and accepted it that I'm allowed to do what I want. I never felt so proud of myself… But then, I started thinking. I started to panic. I thought I made a mistake. For the first time everything wasn't clear to me. I had no set path and it scared me." My voice trembles a little from the sob I've been trying to hold back. "For a moment, I even angry at myself for not following Ma's orders. I was so confused and then I finally understood why. I kept following her orders because I was scared to think for myself, and now that I had my freedom, I was terrified of taking risks because I had no one to blame but myself. And the thought that I was using Ma as a scapegoat like that disgusted me. I hated myself and I hated that part of me still wants to follow her words for that reason."

I lift my head up, not knowing what kind of reaction I'd see on Stan. Unsurprisingly, he's shocked and speechless. "Kyle… I-"

I put my hand up to stop him from saying anything more. I don't need that. I just need him to know and understand what he's getting himself into. "Don't say anything. I just- You deserved to know."

"So it's not just the anxiety."

"It's feeding the anxiety if that paints a better picture."

Stan stays silent for a while with a thoughtful look on his face, before it shifts into a more determined smile as he nods, "I think I understand. I'm here for you if you need it."

As I hear those words and see that bright smile, I can only describe my feelings as an overwhelming feeling of awe and guilt. Out of every response that I thought Stan would say, I never even dare to dream that he'd be so understanding. I regain my speech and ask the one question that's been on my mind in a soft, vulnerable voice, "Stan, why are you still here?"

"Because I love you." Stan answers without missing a beat.

"Why?"

"Well, I  _could_  write you a song about everything I love about you." Stan chuckles and flashes that playful smile that he shows off to his fans, yet somehow it feels even more personal that way.

"God, Stan. Be serious." I laugh at my boyfriend's silly act before dropping my tone down to a more serious one. "I know the kind of baggage I have and you tolerated it even if you don't really understand it."

Stan's smile also changes from loud and flashy to a smaller smile that's more personal and humble, as he takes my hands into his and strokes his thumb over them, "Never make yourself sound like a burden. I love you, Kyle, which includes your faults. I'm not gonna leave you over something like that."

"Same to you too, Stan. I don't need you to tell me everything that's bugging you if you don't want to, but I hope you know that you don't have to be afraid of telling me things. I'm your boyfriend, and more importantly I'm your best friend. Just promise you won't forget that."

He nods, albeit a little more stiffed and reserved than I'd hope for, but it's a start. We go back to finishing our dinner before heading back to our hotel. The tension between us is still there, but much weaker than it was before. Once we enter our room, I press my lips onto his and kiss him with as much love and passion as I could pour into him. I have to show him how much I need him and I want to make sure that our relationship isn't gonna be strained by that talk. Plus, it's our last night here and I'd much rather spend time on that bed with Stan for that.

* * *

**Kenny's POV**

It's been about 3 days since Stan and Kyle left for their 'honeymoon' but I doubt Stan's gonna get any until day 4 at least. Things have been pretty quiet on our side. Tweek and I have pretty much got a routine down. Tweek drops me off the Harbucks before driving off in Kyle's car to class, he comes into work after class, and we either get pizza for dinner or go to a bar for the night. Either way, It's nice to walk around the house without watching those two having intense eyesex across the dining table, or watching Stan act all cuddly just so Kyle would give him a kiss. As sweet as it is, diabetes isn't a way I wanna die in and it's a lot harder to watch them be all couple-y after losing Charlie.

I know she's still talking to Kyle every now and then, I see the guilt in his eyes when he walks out of the room to answer her call. I really can't blame anyone for this. I broke up with her, all for my dumbass pride. I've thrown applications back and forth, but any job worth the paycheck isn't gonna take a kid with a high school diploma. I'm stuck in a dead-end job and now I'm gonna end up alone as one of those old fucks that glares at every lovely-dovey couple on a coffee shop date.

I wish I could blame someone. God, Satan, Cartman. But no, this is all my fault. I pushed my princess away and now she's probably better off without me.

I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes at the lady demanding that I make her a pumpkin spice latte even though it's off the menu. It's December for Christ sake! I mindlessly write the order on the cup and I step out to the back alley for a break.

The snowfall and cold might seem harsh, but when you grow up in a backwater mountain town and being the only family without constant heating for the night. Your body just learns to deal with it. What I can't stand is the sound of the happy-go-lucky Christmas carols playing on the streets.

It's times like these that make me miss South Park and Karen. I know the Brofloskis would take good care of her, especially now that Ike's watching out for her too. But, I miss my sister. I miss my family. It just reminds me how lonely I am. Karen has Ike and her friends back home, Stan and Kyle have each other, and Tweek still has his future and family supporting him. Me? I've got nothing and in the end, I'll be the one getting left behind.

"Kenny?" I hear a familiar voice and a mitted hand on my shoulder bring me out of my self-wallowing.

"Charlie?" I ask with a breath of disbelief. There she is, the girl that I lost and got away, right in front of me, like a dream.

Her hair is shorter and straight now, it's a bob cut with her hair no longer reaching her back but barely passing her shoulders. Her hair isn't the only difference, her attitude is not pink or overly feminine, it's a puffy white jacket with black tight jeans and a pair of mocha-colored boots that reach to her calf. She is also wearing a mint-green scarf that match the mittens on her hands. Her face is no longer caked with oversaturated makeup and I can see her sweet brown eyes without that bright colors of her eyeshadow painted on her. She looks fresher and more innocent now, not as tomboyish as when we start met, nor as dolled-up before we broke up.

"What are you doing out in the snow, Kenny?"

"Meh, what's the worst that can happen? Hypothermia? I get pneumonia and die again?" I shrug. Frankly, I couldn't give a shit anymore. But it's a nice thought that my princess cares.

"Haha, cute." She laughs drily before taking my hand and pulling me into the backroom of Harbucks. "Come on, I doubt Harbucks would be happy to find your body in an alleyway."

"What are you doing here, Charlie?" I have to ask, I still can't believe she's here. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but I haven't heard from you for weeks and last time we talked…"

"You broke up with me and you doubt I'd ever want to see you again?" She finishes lamely with a heartbroken smile.

"…Yeah."

"For a while, I thought that too. God, I was such a mess." She groans as she sits atop a short stack of boxes. "But, I got sick of the way I've been acting and picked myself up. And for that, I need closure too."

Oh… Yeah, of course. Well, I can do this more for her at least.

I lean against the wall behind me, facing her as we talk. "Yeah, OK."

She absently picks some lint off her scarf as she starts, "First thing's first. I wanna apologize for the way I was acting before. It sounds clichéd but that wasn't me. Not entirely. When I heard about all the girls you've been with, Tammy, Kelly…. And Bebe, I was so horrified that you'd leave me if I wasn't the kind of girl you were used to and that I can't give you what you want more than anything, a child of your own. So I made myself into something I'm not as a desperate attempt to convince myself that I can be what you want. When I was with my family, I had to play as Issac. I had to act like nothing was wrong for my family. I hated that, and I hated that none of my family would want me if they found out who I really was then. I thought I could finally escape that past when Kyle found me on top of the building that night; I thought I could finally be myself when Stan and Sue took me to you guys, but I didn't. I let myself fall into the same trap and put on a mask to be your girlfriend." She looks up to me with sad regretful eyes. "Kenny, I'm sorry I let my insecurities get in the way. You have been nothing but loving and kind to me since the day we met and you didn't deserve a fake version of me."

I quietly taking in each word she's saying. That's one good thing about being the quiet kid in school, you learn to listen. But what do you even say to that? How did I not know that so much of this has been haunting her while I was by her side? "God, I feel like such an ass. I broke up with you because I thought I'd be doing what's best for you and letting you find someone better than me. But all you've been doing is trying to do what I want." I choke on a sob, I can't break now. "Charlie, I'm not mad. And it's not the child I want more than anything, it's a family, one I'd build and care for with the one I love. I'm just sad that I made you believe that you weren't enough."

"It wasn't just you." Charlie interrupts, "It took me a while but I'm finally starting to find myself again once I stepped out of my room. I talked to some friends from my school, they accepted me for who I am and they've been helping me in small ways. I found hobbies and interests. I'm rebuilding myself, it'll take some time but one day I'll be happy with the girl I turn out to be. Because that'll be the real Charlotte, no masks, no façades."

"I'll look forward to that day. No matter who comes out by the end of all this, you'll still be Charlie. And you'll always be my princess." I smile at the thought of that. Fuck, I really do miss her. I don't know if I can watch her go a second time. "Charlie, I know you said you came here for closure but I don't want to lose you again. I'm not lying when I said you deserve the best, do you mind waiting for me? I'll find another job, I'll make sure you won't have to worry again."

She sits in silent contemplation before asking, "If I say yes, could you promise me something?"

"What?"

"Don't leave me again." She stands and cups her mitted hand over my cheek, "I know you've got self-esteem issues because of your childhood, but don't run away again because you don't think you deserve me. I chose you because I love you and I hope you would respect that. So please, just don't leave me again."

"I won't." I promise her as I lean into her touch.

"Then I don't need anything else. You don't need to do this alone, it's not 'you' or 'me', OK? It's 'we', and  _we_  will get through this. Got it?" She smiles, with what I can only hope are tears of joy and relief.

"Got it." I nod and pull her into a warm embrace. "I'm glad that you're back, princess. And you're more beautiful than I've ever seen you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the emotional exposition chapter. XD I needed a moment to explain everything that is going on with Charlie since her big-step-forward and to dive a little deeper into Kyle's psych. Plus, Kenny and Charlie are getting back together, they still have some bumps to deal with but things are turning up for them c:  
> Next time, we'll be seeing more of Z and Stan, as well as learning a little more about a blue-haired girl who hasn't shown up in a while c;
> 
> Fun fact: This is another aspect of my life that actually happened. I'm a communications student but my mom wanted me to stay on science. We fought and I won, I went through what Kyle felt and I felt so guilty for thinking that. Just letting you guys know, getting what you wish for is never the end-goal.
> 
> School's over for now, so I'll be working on posting chapters out a little faster as well as catching up with some stuff I've missed after so long XD
> 
> Anyways, as always feel free to check out the drama this story is based on, "It's Okay That's Love" by SBS. Please let me know what you think, reviews and comments make my day.
> 
> Take care and happy hoildays, Loves.


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